Riding and Regrets (8 page)

Jody’s face was right there behind his closed lids, those sweet lips parted, slick, wet, swollen. He’d held onto Noel so good, had taken that need to fuck Noel’s mouth and run with it once he’d let go.

Noel threw his head back as his balls pulled up tight. He shivered and imagined it was Jody’s hand thrusting those fingers into him, Jody’s mouth on his cock. That sent him spiralling over the edge, his whole body tensing, then he curled over as his cock spurted into the sex toy.

Noel panted for a little bit, then he stood up and washed off. He cleaned the Fleshlight out and after he’d got out of the shower, he wrapped the toy up and put it in the cabinet under the sink.

Then he towelled off. He examined himself in the mirror. He was okay-looking, nothing special, and he really needed to firm up.

Noel turned away from the mirror. He wasn’t going to play that shitty body image game. He flicked the light switch down, sending the bathroom into darkness, then left the room and went to bed.

Hours later, Noel woke up, heart racing, sweat coating his body, as the last vestiges of a nightmare fled. Only it wasn’t a nightmare, and he knew it. It was a memory he kept reliving too many nights, the memory of what had made him flee California.

Clive, leering at him, laughing, watching Noel struggle with the handcuffs as he tried to breathe. Noel sat up and touched his neck. It was his imagination that he could still feel the imprints of Clive’s hands, of his fingers tightening and squeezing the life out of him.

It wasn’t true. He was alive, and out of Clive’s reach. Noel found little comfort in that. He stayed up and watched the stars fade from his window as the sun eventually began to rise.

Chapter Six

Life kept a man busy. Almost a week had passed and Jody hadn’t been able to figure out how to make time to see Noel. He hoped that Noel understood. Thought maybe he did, since Noel still smiled for him every morning at the daycare.

Prissy squealed and giggled as Will tickled her ribs. Jody was worried because Frankie hadn’t come back again last night, but since today was Frankie’s day off, he wouldn’t have needed to get back until much later. Whoever Frankie was sneaking off to see must have been worth more to Frankie than Jody had ever been.

“Duke’s going to be a bear to work with,” Jody muttered, more to himself than anyone else. “He ain’t gonna like being on the sidelines. Taking almost a week off made him right unpleasant, though, so maybe him being outside will take off some of his nasty attitude.”

“He’s frustrated. No one likes having to be laid up, but… He’ll deal with it,” Will said. He inspected Prissy’s braids. “You did pretty good on these.”

Jody shrugged, trying not to let the faint praise go to his head. “Well, since Frankie’s still out doing whoever he was hooking up with, I had to try, right?”

Will grunted then hefted Prissy up to toss her slightly in the air.

Jody’s heart just about stopped when Will did it, but Prissy screeched and laughed like Will was the best ride ever. Jody held himself back from telling Will to cut it out. Will and his men had bought Prissy’s bed and dresser, got her clothes and the car seat, too. They’d helped make Jody’s room her room, too. He wasn’t going to be an overprotective dick.

“Duke doesn’t know he tried to hit you,” Will said as he tossed Prissy again. “Doesn’t seem to remember anything, even about how he got hurt. Our guess is he took a tumble off his horse. It’s not a bad enough injury to have been a kick, ya know?”

“Yeah, seen some of those before,” Jody agreed. “I remember once, my uncle Tab got kicked in the face. Put his teeth right through his lips—what teeth it didn’t knock out. God, that was awful. He was a mess.”

Will grimaced and set Prissy down. “Go on and get to the table for your breakfast. Drake should have it set up for you.”

“I won’t tell him, if that’s what you’re worried about. Duke isn’t that kind of guy. I should have been quicker to pick up on him being hurt. He ain’t usually mean like he was then.”

“Everyone has bad days,” Will said. “I’d have just thought he was being a shit because he woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Don’t kick yourself over not figuring it out sooner. Now what was that about Frankie? I thought he was helping you. Actually…” Will appeared thoughtful. “Seemed to me you two were kinda close.”

Jody hated that he blushed so easily. He couldn’t quite meet Will’s eyes. “It wasn’t nothing serious. Just blowing off steam on occasion, and he wasn’t interested anymore once I had Prissy. He went off to meet some guy in Junction he found online. I don’t know the guy’s name or anything. Frankie said he could take care of himself.”

Will looked appalled. “Wow. I didn’t know he was that shallow. He cut you off because you have a kid? Without thinking about how much of a shock that was for you, and how you’d need your friends and—” Will slapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry,” he said from between his fingers. He lowered his hand. “That was rude, maybe, but I didn’t mean it to be. I just can’t believe he was such a dick. Then again, he never has seemed to be particularly deep.” Will shrugged. “Sorry, Jody. That had to suck. I heard there’s a new guy in town, though. Barney’s mom Jen was talking about him, said he might be working at his aunt’s daycare.” Will raised one eyebrow at him. “Noah?”

“Noel,” Jody answered and knew that he’d fallen into some sort of trap Will had set for him when Will grinned. “What? That’s his name.”

“Is he cute?”

Jody considered denying it, but why? “He is, and before you go playing match-maker or whatever you’re thinking about doing, he’s already asked me out.”

“Whoop!” Will shouted, doing a little slinky dance. “You’ll go out with him, right? We can watch Prissy. She loves Drake, and between him, Ian and us, we can so be the best babysitting team ever!”

Jody blinked and tried to process all of that. Will’s exuberance was discombobulating.

“I’m not suggesting you run off and stay out overnight like Frankie did,” Will continued. “But it’s been a really rough week, and a good week, too, I’m sure, what with you finding out you had that awesome child in there. But stressful, for sure, right? And with Frankie doing what he did, you could use a little break, and it’ll be great practice for—”

Jody got it then, the conversation from days ago with Carlos and Troy talking about Will wanting kids. “You wanna use Prissy as a trial run?”

“Don’t sound so grumpy.” Will bounced on his toes. “You know what I mean, and it’s not exactly the same thing, because we’d maybe probably possibly be starting from the beginning with ours, like completely newborn, I mean.” Will pointed at him. “You aren’t going to be all hovery-smothery over her, are you? You’re going to share all of that love and let us poor guys have a god-daughter to spoil, right?”

Jody was quickly finding himself backed into a corner, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. “But she needs stability, and she just got her whole life shuffled around on her. Shouldn’t I be here? All the time, at least for a while?”

Will tapped a finger against his bottom lip and hummed. “Well, I tell you what. I don’t know the answer to that, for sure, and she is in daycare already. However, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have plenty of people for a child to lean on and trust in. The more love she gets from the adults in her life, surely the better adjusted she’ll be? Right?”

“I think so.” Jody was going to get online and buy every good parenting book he could afford. “I miss her too, when she has to go to daycare. I didn’t know I would. I mean, she hasn’t been in my life but a little over a week, and already I… I love that kid. I’d do anything for her.”

“Aw, you are such a good daddy.” Will hugged him then, a quick action that was over almost as soon as it had begun. “You need time to be a young man, too, though. Why don’t we do this. See if Noel is available tonight. Y’all come over here for dinner with Prissy, and hang out for a while. When she’s ready for bed, we’ll put her down on the couch and Carlos, Troy and I will stay with her while you two go do…things.” Will smirked at him and Jody heard the unspoken ‘very dirty things’ in his own mind.

He gulped.

“Sounds like a brilliant plan,” Will said before patting him on the back. “Go eat while I tell the guys.”

“He can make your head spin, huh?”

Jody glanced over at Ian, Drake’s guy. Ian had Prissy on one knee and was holding her juice cup while she ate.

“I— Yeah, he can.” Jody sat down and thanked Drake for the platter of food that was set in front of him. “I don’t even know if I want to ask Noel out and all, but I’m pretty sure Will is going to get his way.”

Ian snorted and Drake laughed. Prissy reached out for Jody. “Daddy, take me.”

“Why don’t you let Daddy eat first, honey?” Drake asked. He held his arms out to Prissy. “If you’re done, you can help me set the food out for the cowboys. They’ll be here any minute now.”

“Oh, help!” Prissy squirmed and Ian set her down. “I wanna help.”

“Is that okay with you, Jody?” Drake asked.

Jody bobbed his head since he had a mouthful of pancakes he was chewing on. Prissy blew him a kiss then took Drake’s hand.

Ian stood up. “Think I’ll help too. Enjoy your breakfast, Jody.”

Everyone was so much friendlier to him now, Jody mused as he ate. Was it because of Prissy, or because of him? It didn’t take a whole lot of thinking on it to answer the question. Jody had been pouting since he’d made the snarky comment about Ramsey. He’d got put on shit duty for it, which was fine in retrospect. Cowhands living in the same quarters all needed to get along, and Jody being a jealous little bitch hadn’t been conducive to that.

Then he’d done the pouting thing, and the hiding from his guilt thing, and Prissy had come along. He’d done a lot of growing up in a very short time, but he still had a hell of a long way to go.

“Hey, Jody, how’s everything going?”

Jody waved at Carlos then was surprised when Carlos sat down with a plate of food to eat with him.

His surprise must have shown on his face because Carlos offered a quick explanation. “Wanted to talk about the lawyer and all that.”

“I’ll pay you back for it,” Jody said immediately, setting his fork down. “Y’all can keep my pay, except what I need for Prissy’s daycare and food. That oughta be covered by the Social Security she’ll be getting whenever the government gets around to giving it to her for her mama’s death. Least Elena had been working, so there’s something for Prissy.”

Carlos picked up a piece of bacon and took a bite. “I don’t know how all that works, but I’m glad you’ll be getting some financial help with her. As for the lawyer, naw, you don’t worry about that. I did find a trailer you might be interested in for you and Prissy. It ain’t fancy, but it’s not a piece of shit, either. We can help you get it financed and set up out here, maybe not too far from the house but with enough room for a fenced off area for Prissy to play in. You interested?”

Jody sniffled and had to press his palms to his eyes. “Everyone’s being so nice, I can’t—”

“I’m betting you didn’t have enough nice wherever you came from,” Carlos said, then he surprised Jody by gently patting his back. “That’s okay. Most of us come out of a rough spot, and we’re good men anyway. We’ve learned to help each other out, and be loyal to our friends. Troy, Will and me, we’re all big ol’ mama hens, but if you tell anyone that, I’ll mama you right quick and tan your backside.”

Jody laughed and found himself relaxing around Carlos like he’d never done before. For the first time in a very long while, Jody began to think he could have a good life.

* * * *

Noel was getting worried by the time he saw Jody pull up at the daycare. He was afraid that something had happened, but at half past seven, Jody walked in with Prissy jabbering away at his side. The little girl’s braids were crooked and she was dressed in clashing pants and shirt—they clashed to Noel, anyway. Burnt orange and bright green made him think of pumpkins.

“Hey, Noel, morning,” Jody offered, a sweet smile pulling at his lips. “Miss Prissy here dressed herself today. Don’t she look beautiful?”

“She does,” Noel agreed. “Makes me think of pumpkin pie.” Or close enough to it.

Jody snickered. “Yeah, she was more like a berry pie until she spilled syrup on her shirt and pants this morning. That’s why we’re late.”

Prissy beamed at Noel. “I was helpin’ Dwake set the table!”

“Awesome!” Noel clapped for her. “I bet he was so glad you could help. Did you sneak any bites of food?”

Prissy bobbed her head. “Sywup. It’s good. I spilled it on my puhple pants and top. Daddy said a bad word and had to let me change.”

“Daddy said a bad word?” Noel whispered, grinning at Jody. “Uh-oh. He might need a stern talking to.”

“Uncle Will said he had to pay money for saying it,” Prissy informed him, her face set in a serious expression. “I didn’t make him say it.”

“No, you didn’t,” Jody said. “That was all my fault. I’m responsible for what comes out of my mouth, and I decided to say a bad word. Daddy has a bad mouth, but he’s working on it.”

“I like Daddy’s mouth,” Noel said, then he realised how that had sounded and screwed up his face. “Oh, oh, man, that— I mean—”

Jody was too busy turning beet red to help him out.

Noel huffed and tried again. “I mean, I like that your daddy is trying to watch his mouth. That’s what I meant.”

“Uh-huh,” came from behind him, Seana coming out from the classrooms. “I’ll just take this child with me while you two fumble and stumble your way through flirting.”

“Seana!” Prissy let go of Jody’s hand and ran to her. “Let’s play!”

“Go give your daddy a goody-bye kiss,” Seana said, turning Prissy back around.

Prissy ran over and Jody crouched to receive a noisy kiss. “Have fun, baby girl.”

“I will!”

Prissy and Seana left. Noel expected Jody to do the same. He’d given up on Jody making any time for him. Jody obviously was too busy to bother with Noel, and though he tried not to be hurt by it, he was. Noel called himself a selfish prick for that, but he couldn’t change it.

He wanted Jody. At least, he wanted to fuck him, and maybe talk to him, too. Noel didn’t have anyone in town besides Aunt Gertie to talk to. Seana and the other daycare workers were nice and all, but they knew each other and had their little clique that he didn’t care to try to break into.