Riding and Regrets
A Totally Bound Publication
Riding and Regrets
ISBN #
978-0-85715-688-4
©Copyright Bailey Bradford 2014
Cover Art by Posh Gosh ©Copyright March 2014
Edited by Rebecca Douglas
Totally Bound Publishing
This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher, Totally Bound Publishing.
Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Totally Bound Publishing. Unauthorised or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution.
The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator of the artwork.
Published in 2014 by Totally Bound Publishing,
Newland House, The Point, Weaver Road, Lincoln, LN6 3QN
Warning:
This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers. This story has a
heat rating
of
Totally Burning
and a
Sexometer
of
3.
Mossy Glenn Ranch
RIDING AND REGRETS
Bailey Bradford
Book five in the Mossy Glenn Ranch series
Jody Bates just wanted to fit in and forget his past, but you can’t escape everything.
Jody Bates had a hard life as a kid, but he’s moved past that and is making a home for himself at the Mossy Glenn. Sometimes he smarts off, but he’s young, and he’s learning.
What he hasn’t learned yet is that you can never completely escape your past.
Jody has a few blank spots, things he can’t quite remember. Like a lot of kids, he did some stupid things and figures he’s lucky to have come out relatively unscathed. Sure there’s a scar here and there, but on the whole, he’s doing just fine.
But something that happens brings about an enormous change in his life. Jody finds himself with a kid he didn’t know he’d fathered and memories trying to surface about the drug-filled night the child had to have been conceived. Jody, at twenty, is overwhelmed and more scared than he’s ever been in his life.
Noel Cuthbert needed a change. He was tired of the bar scene, tired of getting dumped. He seemed to have a six-month expiration date per relationship. The last guy almost broke him in more ways than one, and moving across the country had sounded like a brilliant idea when he’d first thought of it.
Now he’s in Ashville, Montana, and his Aunt Gertie is doing everything she can to talk him into staying. She needs his help, and Noel needs to be needed.
And he’s never seen anyone who needs him more than the young man who walks into Gertie’s daycare with a screaming toddler on his hip.
Dedication
Growing up is hard, and it doesn’t happen magically when you turn eighteen. To all of us who were really late bloomers, and those like me who are still working on it.
Trademarks Acknowledgement
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:
Fleshlight: ILF, LLC
Honda Fit: American Honda Motor Co, Inc
Google: Google Inc.
Post-It: 3M
Wranglers: VF Corp.
Facebook: Facebook Inc.
MySpace: MySpace Inc., Specific Media LLC
Chapter One
Noel Cuthbert parked his Honda Fit in his Aunt Gertie’s driveway, frowning at the lack of protection for his baby. “This won’t do at
all.
” There wasn’t a garage or even one of those cheesy metal carports. Just…open space. “Ugh.”
So far, he wasn’t impressed with Montana. “The last best place my ass,” he said, referencing one of the many slogans he’d heard used for the state. “Does seem like it’s the last place, period. Nothing but mountains and cows and pickup trucks.”
Well, he’d wanted to come, so he needed to shut up. Noel turned the car off and unbuckled. It was almost dark, and he kind of wanted to see the sky. That was one thing he’d definitely enjoyed on the week-long drive from California. He’d seen some amazing night skies. Something told him that Montana would offer him one that was simply stunning.
“State has to have something going for it.” He got out and gathered his laptop bag from the passenger seat. After he had his luggage, too, Noel headed up the sidewalk to the house.
The sidewalk itself was indicative of the whole neighbourhood. Worn, cracked in places, in serious need of weeding. Looked almost like it’d be easier to tear the whole walk up and re-pour new cement for it, rather than patch the cracks.
Not that Noel was volunteering, no way. He wasn’t built for manual labour. His gently sculpted muscles had taken
forever
to find beneath the flab he used to carry. That was the hardest he could work, and while he was proud of his slimmed down body, it’d really only caused him more trouble than not.
Noel sniffed. Who’d known that trying to get himself in shape would attract all the shallow assholes right to him? It’d been flattering at first. After all, he’d been the shy, fat boy who’d been teased in school up until then. To find men coming up to him and hitting on him once he’d lost weight and toned up some had been kind of addictive.
And okay, he’d maybe developed a bit of an ego for a while there, but that had been well and truly demolished after the last disastrous relationship.
“Ugh. Just don’t even go there,” he muttered to himself. He’d got used to his own chatter on the drive. The quiet had been unnerving when he’d grown sick of his playlists.
Beside the sidewalk, Noel noticed dead plants. Some kind of flowers, though he didn’t know what type they were.
Other than dead, obviously
. Crumbling edging, uneven and appearing to be made of faded brown or black plastic, ran parallel to either side of the walk. The rest of the yard seemed okay, if in need of a mowing. Rose bushes surrounded the porch, and at least those plants appeared to be thriving. Over-thriving, even. Noel was pretty sure they needed to be pruned, or maybe groomed with a blow-torch.
He heard the squeak of the door just before Aunt Gertie stepped outside. “Noel Cuthbert, you get up here and give me a hug!”
All of the troubles that had been riding on Noel’s shoulders fell away, at least for a few minutes as he rushed up the stairs. They groaned beneath his feet and he hoped that the old wood wouldn’t give way on him. The porch itself wasn’t any more stable. The wooden slats were bowed all over, and a couple were even missing.
“Aunt Gertie.” Noel stopped in front of his aunt. She wasn’t much shorter than his five-ten, maybe five-eight or so. They were close enough in height that he didn’t have to stoop to hug her, anyway.
“Come here, boy,” she said gruffly as she reached for him.
Noel barely had time to set the bags down before he was pulled into her surprisingly strong embrace. “Hi.”
Gertie smoothed her hands in circles over his back. “I’m sorry for whatever hurt you, honey, but I’m so glad you’re here.”
Noel almost laughed at that, but he was afraid he’d end up sobbing if he opened his mouth just then.
“You don’t have to tell me, not ever, but if you want to, I’ll listen. You know I will.” Gertie kissed his cheek then, keeping one arm around him, leant back enough to push the chunk of hair back off his brow. With the dimming light, it was impossible to make out the colour of her eyes, but Noel didn’t have to. He saw her eyes every time he looked in the mirror, the grey-rimmed green identical, just like the shape of their eyes and the thick, dark lashes framing them. He’d always looked more like Gertie than his dad or mom.
“Whatever it is, we’ll make it better,” Gertie vowed fiercely. “No one gets to hurt my baby boy.”
Noel, at twenty-five, was hardly anyone’s baby anything, but the words still warmed him and for the first time in ages, he truly felt loved.
“Thank you, Aunt Gertie.” He had to stop speaking then as his eyes and nose burned with the threat of tears.
“Oh, honey, someone’s done a number on you. If I ever do find out the name of that man, or, God help me, men, I’m gonna go to prison.” She grinned in a way that was all teeth and anger. “Be worth it. No one gets to hurt you.”
Noel sniffled. He was not going to cry. He hadn’t cried since—
No. No going there ever again.
“I ought to smack Richard upside the head, and Marcy, too,” Gertie continued. “Your parents are about useless. It’s a miracle you, Josephine and River turned out to be such good people, considering.”
“It’s because we had a fabulous aunt to help us when we were growing up,” Noel told her. “If you hadn’t lived with us all those years, there’s no telling how many prison sentences we’d all be serving.”
Gertie chortled at that and stepped back a foot or so. “Now, I could be modest, but it’s true that I stayed in California for you kids. Once you moved out, there wasn’t a reason for me to live in that hell-hole with those two parents of yours. I guess they’re still alive.”
“Last I heard.” Noel wasn’t even hurt by the fucked up relationship, or lack of, that he had with his parents. “I don’t keep in touch. Neither does Josie or River. I’m assuming the parents are still doing whatever it is they want to with no concern for us.”
Gertie tipped her nose up and sniffed. “You know, we weren’t raised up to be such selfish shits. Your daddy was always like that, though. Richard would do whatever it took to have his way and get what he wanted. Never did care who he hurt. I figured when him and your mom hooked up, they’d kill each other, they were so alike.” She waved a hand. “Well, whatever. They ain’t ever gonna change, and you kids came out great despite having a couple of sociopaths for parents. Now, come in here to the kitchen and let me feed you. You’ve got plumb scrawny.”
“I’m svelte,” Noel protested as he was tugged along to the kitchen. He inhaled and the scents of garlic and basil made his mouth water. “Pasta?”
“You know it. Just ’cause I live in cowboy country doesn’t mean I’m all about steak and taters now. I like my Italian food more than ever, and I’ve got damned great at cooking it.”
For the first time since Gertie had moved away, Noel honestly felt like he was home—even if he was in an ass-backward state that was surely filled with homophobes. “I’ve missed you something awful.”
Gertie turned her glistening eyes on him as her bottom lip trembled. “Oh, baby boy. You know I missed you kids, so much. Leaving was the hardest thing ever, but I…” She swiped at her left eye as tears leaked onto her cheek. “Well, darn it. I swore I wasn’t gonna cry, but I had to leave, you know. You kids had your own lives. There wasn’t any need for y’all to worry about visiting me when you had things to do, and I sure as hell couldn’t handle Richard and Marcy anymore.”