Rewritten (Unwritten Book 2) (24 page)

I jump up, pushing Gina off of me. “I’m sorry… I can’t,” and I run out of her house, jumping in my car and speeding away.

I pull over in Golden Gate Park to try to gain my composure and think about what I plan on doing now. Turning my phone back on, I see multiple text messages and voicemails from Allison along with one from a number I don’t recognize.

I listen to that one first to see who it is:

“Charlie, um, it’s Alex. Look, I deserved that. I don’t know what came over me. I… I just wanted to let you know it was all me. Allison had nothing to do with it. I saw her crying and, shit man, I can’t lie, I have feelings for her. But that’s my problem. Please don’t be mad at her. She made it very clear after you left that she wants nothing to do with me. So… I’m sorry.”

I rub my eyes as I play the message again.

Fuck. God, what have I done? Thank God I left Gina’s. But shit, I kissed her.

My stomach turns as I listen to Allison’s messages next:

“Charlie, please baby. Where did you go? Please answer my call.”

The next message:

“Charlie, I swear, I want nothing to do with Alex. He kissed me. I promise. Please call me back.”

The final message:

“I love you Charlie. I can’t stand this feeling. Where are you?”

My eyes start to well as I fight back the tears wondering how I can face her again.

Here she wanted nothing to do with this man who took advantage of her and I go straight to a former client. How can I be such an idiot? She’s going to hate me.

I need to clear my head so I drive to Twin Peaks, hoping the view and fresh air will calm me down. As I pull up I see Allison sitting on the wall, waiting for me to show up.

I park the car and slowly walk up to her with my head down, not sure how to approach her.

When I’m close I ask, “How did you know I would show up here?”

“Because I know you Charlie, all of you. I knew this was your place.”

I reach out to hold her hand as I look down. “I got your messages.” I look at her and see her eyes are red and swollen from crying which breaks my heart even more. “Alex called me, too.”

“Please believe me Charlie. I don’t want anything to do with him. I quit.”

I hold my finger up to her lip, “Shhh, it’s ok.”

“Where have you been? I was worried sick.”

I fall to my knees in front of her, willing to beg for her forgiveness. “I messed up Allison.” I look at her, tears running down my face.

Allison gives me a sour look. “What are you talking about Charlie?”

“Please forgive me. I’ve never felt that feeling when I saw you with him. It felt like you drove stakes right through my heart. I was mad. I was scared. I had to do something or I felt like I was going to die.”

“Charlie, you’re scaring me. What did you do?”

“Then when I left I saw a billboard going up in Union Square. Allison, it’s our photo, from our modeling shoot in Paris. Seeing you, us, together, I felt I had died all over again. Then I turned on the radio and
Savior
was playing.”

“Yeah, Alex told me the photo was going up, but Charlie, tell me what you did.”

“Please know that when I got there I couldn’t do it and I left. Even though I still thought you kissed Alex, I couldn’t go through with it.”

“Charlie…?”

“Allison, I went to an old client’s house. The one we saw at the Halloween Ball.”

Allison pushes my hands off of her, “You did WHAT?”

“Allison please, please understand what was going through my head. I’ve never dated. I’ve never been in love. Seeing you with him was worse than any feeling I have ever felt.” I grab her hands again, “Even the feeling when my parents passed away. I couldn’t stand the idea of losing you or seeing you with another man. I lost my mind. I had to do something or I would have killed myself.”

“Charlie, don’t talk like that.”

“It’s true. Allison, I can’t imagine my life without you. I just saw a glimpse and I can tell you it’s something I never want to feel again. I’m sorry. I went to her house. I kissed her but that was it. I couldn’t do anything else. She wanted to,” I look down, embarrassed by my confession. “She tried but I knew it was not what I wanted. No matter what I just saw you doing. I walked out without doing anything else. I promise.”

“Fuck Charlie! The first time anything goes bad between us you run right back into that lifestyle. How is that supposed to make me feel?”

“Allison please, I was so scared I had lost you. You left the house so upset with me then I saw you kissing Alex when I came to surprise you with flowers. What am I supposed to think? I told you, I’ve never been in a relationship. I panicked. Please believe me. I know I will never go back. I couldn’t. No one will ever be you.”

Allison steps away, turning her back to me. I want so bad to reach out to her, and try to make all of this better but I’m frozen where I stand. I stare, praying she believes me and can find it within herself to forgive me.

My heart pounds as the silence between us grows. I watch as she tilts her head up to the sky, taking a deep breath before turning to me with a sad look in her eyes.

“Charlie, I can imagine what you felt. I’m sure it’s the same feeling I am feeling right now, listening to you, but I know it was worse for you since you witnessed it.” She looks at me, “We need a reset. Go back to this morning. Look, I’m sorry I got mad this morning.”

“No Allison, I’m sorry. I should have told you. I just didn’t want to upset you.”

“I know Charlie, neither of us really know how to deal with all of this. Shit, nobody would. It is not exactly a common thing be to dealing with. But we’re getting there. And I can tell you one thing for sure. The past couple of hours, when I couldn’t find you, were the worst moments of my life as well. We’re both in this. Together.”

I place my hands on either side of her face, “Allison, I love you with all of my heart.”

“I love you, too.”

We lean into each other, kissing softly, emotionally, before holding each other tightly.

“I’m so sorry, Allison.”

“Me, too, Charlie. Please, I don’t ever want to hear you say goodbye again.”

“I promise, I never will.”

“H
appy New Year you two!” Nichole yells as she greets Allison and I walking into Paul’s apartment where all of our friends are gathered to ring in the New Year.

Sonia walks up to Allison giving her a big hug, “It’s about time you guys showed up. Do you know I get to look at your sexy ass on the billboard everyday when I walk into work?” she teases.

“Oh jeez, thankfully it’s not the front of me.”

“Yeah, I’m the only model in this family,” Nichole butts into their conversation. “It’s a hot photo though. You both look like you’re about to devour each other.”

“Oh and we did a few minutes after that photo was taken,” I say laughing as Paul gives me a high five.

“Ok you guys. Enough of that,” Allison says embarrassed.

“So what’s going on with you now? Any new job leads?” Sonia asks Allison.

“Actually, Alex felt bad about what happened and set me up with another photographer. I have an interview next week. Sounds pretty promising.”

“Oh good. That was really nice of him to do that.”

“Nice of him?” I snap back, “Guy’s a prick. He’s lucky I didn’t kick his ass more.”

Allison gives me a snide look and I smile, winking back as I drink the beer Paul handed me.

“So wait, isn’t there other big news for tonight?” Sonia asks looking to us both.

I pull an envelope from my back pocket, holding it up, “Yup, I have it right here. But not until midnight.”

Sonia looks to Allison, “What do you think it is?”

“I have no clue. There’s a 50/50 chance it’s a boy or a girl…” she says sarcastically.

“Oh, come on. Charlie, what do you think it is?”

“Well, if my dreams are true,” I pause to grab Allison and pull her into me, “And so far they are, it’s a boy.” I kiss Allison and everyone around us leaves, teasing us about being too touchy feely with each other.

The doctor did an ultrasound on Jacquelyn yesterday and I had them put the pictures and the sex of the baby in an envelope for the two of us to open together at midnight as our way of turning a new leaf for the New Year and our upcoming life together.

The party is going well with Paul being his obnoxious self, all over Nichole, and everyone thoroughly having a great time. Midnight rolls around and we pour champagne anticipating the countdown. Everyone gathers around Paul’s balcony to ring in the New Year with the most beautiful view in the City.

“Hey, listen up!” Paul yells. “I know that everyone saw my fine ass girlfriend here with me tonight,” he grabs Nichole, pulling her in closer, “I know you all are jealous but feel free to stay as long as you want because I’m about to disappear with her and celebrate the new year in another way.” He raises his eyebrows to her as he pulls her away.

We all laugh, shaking our heads since we’re used to their antics but before they leave I yell out, “Hey, don’t forget the group WOD tomorrow. You said you would go.”

“We will. I finally convinced Nichole to go, too.”

“You did?” Allison’s shocked to hear.

“I know, I know. Don’t remind me.” Nichole replies. “Yes, I am going to try CrossFit tomorrow. But only this once.”

Paul laughs, “Sure, just like you said you wouldn’t date. Just like me, once you’ve tried it you’ll be hooked.”

Nichole shakes her head, pulling Paul into the bedroom as we all begin the countdown, “10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-Happy New Year!” we all yell in unison.

I wrap my arms around Allison, kissing her as slowly and lovingly as I can before looking into her eyes, “Happy New Year, baby. You ready?”

“Yes, what are we having?”

I look up to her, surprised at her
we
comment. This is the first time she’s referred to the baby this way. My eyes tear up as I lean down to kiss her again.

I open the envelope and pull out the pictures of the baby. The top picture shows the baby’s head with a profile shot of the little head, eyes and nose.

I slowly walk to the couch, suddenly weak from the sight of the picture.

Allison sits next to me, looking at the photo then at me. “Wow, look at that. That’s your baby Charlie.”