Revenge of a Chalet Girl: (4 page)

“I’m joking.”

“Hilarious.” Amy sat up on her bunk, draping her legs over the edge and swinging them to and fro. It must be so easy to be like Tash, to be so certain of everything and not give a damn what anyone thought.

“Well, I’m not sure what I wanted or want now to be honest, maybe a bit of both. I’m not sure it could even work out, us being a couple.”

She wiped the rogue tears away with the back of her hand.

Imagine if they were back together. She’d torment herself wondering if he was about to pull the rug out from underneath her feet again, bringing her life crashing down around her.

After all he’d done it once before. So how could she ever be sure he wouldn’t do it again? There was only one answer to that.

She couldn’t.

“But you want him to want you regardless, don’t you?” Tash’s intelligent eyes focused on her. She was wasted as a chalet girl, she should work as an interrogator. She had ways and means of winkling information out of you.

“Of course.” Amy shrugged ruefully. “No one likes being rejected. You know I still can’t believe he’s getting married.”

“Because he’s still so young, you mean?” Tash said.

No, because he should’ve married me.

“I know this is going to sound silly but you’ve heard those people who say ‘I knew I was going to marry him the moment I saw him’? Well, I was one of them. Don’t laugh! I really believed it.” Amy hesitated.

“Really?” Tash asked, eyeing her quizzically.

“Yes.” Amy nodded. When she’d met Josh that day in the university bar, her heart had gone into free-fall. “Shows how wrong I was, eh? He’s marrying someone else.”

“But you didn’t carry on believing that after you broke up, surely?”

Amy hesitated. “I suppose, deep down, I thought maybe one day we’d get back together and magically we’d get over everything that happened and…I so need to get over myself, don’t I?”

“You need to get over him you mean.” Tash threw her a packet of facial wipes. “Now clean your face up, I’ve got some serum we can put under your eyes to bring down the puffiness and then I can do your make-up for you if you like. Look fabulous and adopt the ‘fuck-you’ attitude.”

“Like you do, you mean?” Amy took one of the wipes and started on her eyes. Just wiping away the tears felt like a good start.

No more tears.

Amy could practically feel her spine stiffening. Tash was right, she couldn’t hide away forever and why should she have to? This was her Christmas too and she had a job to do.

“It works for me.” Tash shrugged. “Do you have any better ideas?”

Josh knew he looked a wreck. No sleep and a monumental hangover could do that to you. The book hadn’t worked. In the end he’d turned to Matt’s bottle of duty-free vodka in a futile attempt to keep the demons at bay.

Because boy, had they done a good job tormenting him ever since he’d locked eyes on Amy again. They’d really gone on the offensive after she’d reached out to him in the hallway. He knew that just one step closer, one touch, one word more and they’d have ended up in bed together.

I’ve done the right thing. Of course I have.

He was so not the guy to have a meaningless fling on his stag weekend.

As if sex could ever be just a meaningless fling with Amy.

As if summoned by his thoughts of her Amy breezed into the living room, her hair glossy, curls bouncing as she walked. Her skin looked flawless. In fact she looked beautiful. Amazing.

She turned in his direction and her gaze passed over him, hard as flint and as freezing cold as the sub-zero temperatures outside.

It took all his self-control to remain impassive. His jaw tightened with the effort and his fingers itched to reach out and touch her, to recall her to him. Because she felt miles away.

This was hell. Absolute hell.

If only I’d found her when I came back to England. Things might’ve been different.

But they weren’t and it was utterly useless to think like that. He was marrying Juliet and that was that. He’d made his proverbial bed and now he had to lie in it. With Juliet.

Just thinking of beds made him remember Amy lying in his bed at uni, her naked limbs tangled with his as she giggled. She was always giggling about something back then and her uncomplicated joy and relentless energy had been one of the things he loved about her.

He glanced over to where she was gathering placemats and cutlery and laying the table with quiet concentration, her face blank. No smile in sight, never mind a giggle.

He badly wanted to make her laugh again, to find out what had gone wrong for her. Her explanation about temping didn’t add up; she’d been so excited about teacher training.

He walked over to the table. “Would you like some help?”

“That’s okay thanks,” she replied stiffly, her gaze lowering to the fork she held, turning it over as though inspecting it for smears. “I’m paid to do this and it’s your holiday, remember?”

The words felt loaded, like missiles designed to wound.

Yes, you’re on your stag weekend, remember?

“I don’t mind.” He picked up some of the mats and began putting them in place around the table before she could argue with him.

“So, you’re getting married.” Amy’s voice sounded cold but he noticed her fingers trembled and she dropped the napkins.

“Er, yes.” He grabbed them for her and put them onto the table. What should he do? Ignore the trembling and not mention it, was that the kindest thing to do?

Evidence that she wasn’t as cool as she pretended to be cheered him up, but also worried him.

“So, are your parents coming over for the wedding? Where will they be staying?” she asked brightly. “It will be really nice to see them again.”

All the temporary positivity drained from him as quickly as though he were a bath and Amy had pulled the plug. He opened his mouth to speak but it felt disconnected from his brain.

She doesn’t know.

“You haven’t heard then? I did try to let you know. I had thought you might come…” His voice choked up and he couldn’t say the word, it still felt too raw.

“I haven’t heard what?” She whispered, her eyes widening with anxiety. She stepped closer. “What’s wrong?”

Her features softened and he glimpsed the Amy he remembered, the best friend and confidante. The Amy he missed.

“I’m afraid they both passed away Amy, a year ago, in a motorway pile up. Dad died at the scene of the accident and Mum two days later in hospital.” It was odd how easily the words tripped off his tongue. He still felt as detached from those words as he had every other time he’d had to deliver the news to friends and relatives. As though a part of him still refused to believe it ever happened.

“Oh.” Her face blanched white as snow and she swayed.

He stepped forward to hold her and guided her to a chair to sit down. “I’m sorry to have to give you the bad news.”

“I’m so, so sorry Josh, that’s awful, I know how close you were to them.”

Josh just about managed to nod in acknowledgement, feeling close to coming undone. Hearing her say his name, her pity…it stirred him more than he could bear. He looked down to see his hands still holding hers, her slender fingers curled into his palms. It felt so natural he hadn’t even noticed they were still touching.

I don’t want to let go.

He had to let go whether he wanted to or not. So why wouldn’t his fingers obey? And why didn’t his feet take a step back, away from the temptation zone?

“Is everything okay?”

Matt’s voice behind Josh made him jump. He reluctantly let go of Amy’s hands and stepped back even though every bit of him wanted to hold her and comfort her. She’d been very close to his mother before the split and she’d spent lots of holiday time at home in Devon with them.

Their last Christmas together was one of his best memories. Amy had got Dad to wear a paper hat from a cracker and had forced them all to play Pictionary. He could almost see the flickering fire and hear the laughter. Amy had flung her arms around him when she’d seen the antique silver hare brooch he’d saved up to buy her, after she’d admired it in a shop window.

He struggled to compose himself and couldn’t look at Matt. He hadn’t told the lads about Amy because these things had a habit of spreading. Once they knew, there’d be no keeping it from Juliet. And this week was difficult enough without having to deal with that.

“What’s going on?” Matt’s tone was hard and unfriendly. “Why is Amy crying? What have you done to upset her?”

Josh sighed heavily. It seemed he had no option. He had to tell him.

“I was just telling her about my parents.” He turned to Matt, coolly staring him down. “Amy knew them personally because, well, we used to be a couple.”

Matt stared at him and then turned to Amy as though seeking confirmation.

She nodded. “He’s telling the truth, he hasn’t done anything to upset me. Well not today anyway.”

The muttered barb at the end of her sentence wounded him as it had no doubt been intended to. Had he really hurt her that badly?

I had to do it the way I did. I did it for you Amy…

“Right.” Matt’s hard gaze flickered between the two of them and rested on Josh. “Can I have a word mate?”

Josh shrugged. “I don’t know. Are you okay Amy?”

She looked up at him, startled. “Um, sure.”

He didn’t believe her. There was a blankness to her expression that made him feel unutterably sad.

I want to make her smile again.

Matt propelled him none too gently down the corridor towards his room and once in, he shut the door firmly behind them.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” Matt asked.

“What the hell do
you
think you’re doing?” Josh tried to bite back the full force of his irritation. It wasn’t fair to take out all his frustration on Matt.

“I’m doing my job as your best man.” Matt was breathing heavily. Josh had never seen him this angry before in all the years they’d worked together. “I saw you holding hands and staring into Amy’s eyes. The chalet girls don’t come as part of the ski holiday package you know.”

Huh.

That was a bit rich considering Matt had been quite happy to take things further with Amy himself.

Josh didn’t know what to say. How could he say it meant nothing? If he started lying now where would it all end?

“As I said, we used to be an item, for about three years.”

Matt sighed heavily and dropped down onto the bed. “Shit, I’ve just realised. She was trying to make you jealous when she kissed me.”

“I don’t know.” Josh shook his head. “That doesn’t sound like the kind of thing Amy would do. Not the Amy I knew anyway.”

But she’s changed.

Then he was hit by a terrible thought, what if it had been him who’d changed her?

“She did apologise.” Matt leant back on the bed. “Still, it’s not great for the old ego, just as well Amelia seems more amenable. But we’re going off topic. You know Juliet would go mad if she walked in and found you staring into another girl’s eyes, and not without good reason. Hey, don’t she and the other girls check into Hotel Paradis today? Have you heard from her?”

“Erm, not sure, I haven’t checked.” Josh pulled his mobile out of his pocket. “No, but she did say she wouldn’t contact me before the wedding. She didn’t want me bothering her while she was on her spa break with the girls. Phones were banned, anyway.”

“Are you going over to see her?”

“No, she’s into this superstitious crap about us not seeing each other before the wedding.” Josh put his phone away.

“You’re going to have to avoid Amy from now on.” Matt said, folding his arms over his chest to indicate he still wasn’t happy.

Well, that makes two of us.

“I know what I have to do.” Josh frowned.

Of course he knew. Hadn’t his father always drummed into him that he must always do ‘the right thing’ especially where girls were concerned? But yet again doing the right thing felt bloody awful. Josh had been here before and a part of him had never stopped regretting the choices he’d been forced to make.

And now he was going to have to hurt Amy all over again.

“Amy, have you got a sec?” Holly had a small stack of boxes in her arms. She seemed distracted, anxious even, which was unusual for her.

“Sure. Is everything okay?” Amy went forward to take some of the boxes from her, glad to have someone else’s problems to think about for a change.

“Just a tad stressed.” Holly smiled a tight smile. “This is the first wedding I’ve arranged for someone else and it’s proving…stressful. The bride-to-be is being a little difficult. Actually forget I said that, it’s really unprofessional of me.”

Holly sank into a chair and leant forward, head in hands.

“Is she a bit of a bridezilla then?” Amy knew it was bad of her to be glad but what the hell, she couldn’t help it.

“Mmm.” Holly smiled ruefully. “It was so much easier with my own wedding last year but then I suppose some weddings are easier than others?”

“I’m sure that’s the case.” Amy reassured her. “What was that favour you wanted?”

“Could you take these boxes over to Hotel Paradis?” Holly asked. “ You’d be best taking Tash too, there are rather a lot of them.”

“What’s in them?” Amy felt conflicted, wanting on the one hand to escape the Chalet, but not wanting to bump into Josh’s bridezilla of a fiancée. Maybe she’d be able to dump them in the hotel reception and then leg it before she had the chance to come across her.

“There’s a mock-up of the table decorations and samples of the food we’ll be serving at the mountain cantine after the chapel ceremony. It is all as I discussed with her by email so there shouldn’t really be any problems. I don’t know why she’s insisting she sees them at this late stage but what the customer wants…” Holly groaned. “Sorry, do you mind Amy? Only I’ve got so much left to do I can’t really spare the time this evening.”

I can do this. It will be fine.

Like immersion therapy. She needed to get over, Josh therefore helping with his wedding to another woman was actually the best thing she could be doing.

Yeah right!

But she had to help Holly, partly because she was her boss but also because she liked her. She’d never seen Holly looking so stressed and knew she had to do all she could.

“It’s fine Holly. Tash and I will have it all covered.” Amy tried to smile but the news about Josh’s parents seemed to have shaken the ability to smile out of her. She never would’ve imagined…

Somehow she pictured them in their period cottage on Exmoor forever; his dad taking their two border terriers out for walks while his mother worked on a new patchwork project.

It’d felt like grieving the first time round she’d lost them, when Josh dumped her but now she felt the full force of that grief all over again.

“I’ll go and get Tash, and we’ll head off.” Amy walked over to the door before Holly could notice anything was up. Usually she had good radar for upset staff but it’d clearly been knocked off course by bridezilla.

“Thanks Amy,” Holly called out after her.

Amy walked into the dorm room. Tash was lying on her back on her bunk, listening to her iPod. Amy waved to catch her attention and Tash removed her headphones.

“You’re not going out tonight are you?” Amy asked.

“No, thought I’d have a night in. You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Amy shrugged. Maybe if she said it enough times it would come true. “But I need your help. Holly’s stressed out. She wants us to take some stuff up to the Hotel Paradis…where the…well, where the bride is staying.”

Tash whistled. “Josh’s intended you mean? And you agreed?”

“I don’t see how I had any choice but anyway, Holly is stressed so of course I said yes. It’s not fair to ask her to get the others to do it, because they did dinner tonight.

Tash swung her legs over the side of the bunk and climbed down. “I bet you’re curious. Don’t you want to meet the woman who’s marrying your ex? Suss out the competition?”

“She’s not the competition,” Amy said quickly. “I’m not into splitting up relationships. That’s even if I wanted Josh back. Which I don’t.”

She’d been cheated on, post Josh, and it wasn’t something she could do to another woman.

Tash laughed and winked. “Honest guv. I believe you. Thousands wouldn’t.”

Heat crept up Amy’s neck. “Shall we get ready to go then? I think we’ll have to bother with our ski jackets and scarves, it’s freezing out there tonight.”

“And pretty hot in here if your face is anything to go by.” Tash smirked and pulled a hoodie on over her long sleeved t-shirt. “Okay, okay, I’ll shut up.”

“Chance’d be a fine thing,” Amy muttered.