Revealed by You (Torn) (9 page)

I sighed and wrapped his arm around me. Kissing his wrist, I reveled in the feel of him still semi-hard inside of me.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into the crook of my neck.

“What for?” I asked, frowning.

“For attacking you,” he bit out, his voice gruff.

I turned onto my back and cupped his cheek. “You did not attack me.”

He looked away, shoving his head out of my grip. “I fucked you like an animal.”

“So? I didn’t complain, did I? You’ve been rough before. What’s different about this time?”

His gaze met mine and he sighed.

“What’s wrong?” My heart thumped hard.

He shook his head, closing up on me.

I huffed. How was I going to get him to talk to me? An idea came to me almost instantly and I rose off the bed before heading to the bathroom to turn on the tub. It was early in the morning but we needed this.
He
needed
me
.

I walked back to the bed and grabbed Brett’s hand. “Come with me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Where?”

“We’re taking a bath,” I said, tugging on his hand.

He frowned. “Why?”

“Will you just come with me, please?”

He let me pull him from the bed and took a step towards me. “If you want me to fuck you in the tub, just say so.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled, patting him lightly on the stomach. His rock hard abs twitched lightly under my touch and I inadvertently tried not to drool. “This isn’t to have sex.”

His gaze narrowed in questioning. “What are we going to be doing then?”

“Talking or relaxing. Whatever. Doesn’t matter,” I said and walked to the bathroom before stepping into the tub. The hot water sent a shiver up my spine as I sank into the large claw bathtub.

I watched as Brett tentatively walked into the room before joining me. He sat behind me and wrapped his big body around mine, pulling me tight against him. Always touching me. Always gripping me tight. Any harder and I wouldn’t be able to breathe. That was one of the many things I loved about him. His need to touch me. His need to speak to me through his body.

“You expect me to just talk when you’re sitting naked against me?” he asked, grabbing a cloth off the side of the tub.

“Yes,” I said, leaning forward. “We don’t always need to have sex.”

He grunted. “You complaining?”

“No, but I would like to have an actual conversation with you.”

His brows furrowed. “We talk.”

“Yeah, after having sex.” I didn’t know why I was arguing with him but I didn’t want to be one of those girls in a relationship based solely on sex. Yes, I loved every second of it but I needed more.

“Why are we here?”

I didn’t know if he meant in the tub or in general so I just answered with honesty. “Because we need each other.”

“You think so?” He dipped the cloth in the water and ran it over my shoulder and down my arm sending goose bumps over my skin.

“I know so.” I looked at the gold band on my ring finger. The diamonds glistening in the light. Brett just got back a week ago and already so much had happened. “This is our time. Our moment to be one. It may sound corny or stupid.” I waited for him to say something and when he didn’t, I continued. “Since you got home from New York, things have felt different. I don’t know. I just—”

“I think we should go to Mexico sooner than later.”

My heart gave a start. “I agree.” I wrapped my arm around his bent knee and kissed it before resting my head on my hand.

“I had a nightmare about my mom,” Brett said a moment later. His body tensed behind me and I waited patiently for him to continue. “It was more like a memory playing over and over in my fucking head. Evvie, when I saw her…” He took a deep breath. “I was serious when I said that I wanted to kill her.”

I bit back a gasp at his admission.

“I know that makes me sound like a monster but it’s the fucking truth. I will never forgive her for the shit she did to me. The shit she got her boyfriends to do.” He sighed. “I…I was almost raped by one of them.”

My head whipped around, shock tearing through my body. I didn’t know why I was surprised. The way his mom looked at him like she wanted to eat him alive made me sick to my stomach.

His eyes were dark, stormy, pure raw hatred filling them as memories must have invaded his mind. “He whipped me with an extension cord. If you look at my back and ass really closely, you can see the marks. That’s why I tan and…that’s why I fucked you like I did tonight.”

I frowned confused as to what he meant.

He ran a hand through his hair, drops of water sliding down his beautiful face. “I wanted to erase the horrible memories of my nightmare and when I woke, being inside you was the only way I knew how. It calmed me.”

A hard lump filled my throat. I didn’t know what to say.

A soft smile splayed at his lips. “You are the only reason I’m able to get through this.”

I shook my head. “I had no idea it was that bad,” I whispered.

“I don’t remember most of it. I blocked it out I think but the things I do remember, threaten to destroy me every fucking day. Every time I close my eyes, I’m terrified that I’ll have a nightmare. It’s only since being with you, that I’ve been able to get a good night’s sleep…until tonight that is.” He leaned his head back against the tub and let out a frustrated sigh.

“I’m so—”

“Don’t. Don’t feel sorry for me,” he snapped. “I just…I…fuck.”

I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head against his chest. “I’m sorry that you went through what you did. I’m not feeling sorry for you like you automatically assume.”

A chuckle rumbled from his chest. “I love your brazenness.”

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hands, hugging his arms around me. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need. Whatever you want, just ask and I’m yours.”

“Sometimes I don’t know how to ask,” he mumbled.

I looked up at him. I didn’t know how to ask him either. “Then show me. Like you did tonight.”

His jaw clenched. “That was a dick move on my—”

“Stop,” I demanded. “I did not complain. It’s not like you forced yourself on me, so stop it. This is what I’m here for. I’m your girlfriend, Brett. I’m here to help you through everything. I’m your forever, remember that.”

“But I shouldn’t have done that,” he said averting my gaze. “I shouldn’t have been so rough.”

I turned in his arms and huffed. I was sick of him berating himself. I always took what he threw at me and I never complained. Not once. “You’ve always been rough. Why are you now upset for making love to me like you did?”

“That wasn’t making love, Evvie. I was fucking rough.”

I took a breath. “Listen to me and listen to me good.”

Brett raised his eye brow, a hint of amusement flashing in his blue gaze. “Go on.”

“I love you. I love everything about you. I enjoy when you make love to me like you can’t get enough. Like you can’t control the deep seeded need for me.”

“Tonight I couldn’t,” he mumbled.

I cupped his cheek and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Exactly. I’m not fragile. I won’t break.”

His eyes searched my face before he looked away. “I wanted to break you into submission.”

My body tingled. I took a breath and cupped his cheek. “I’ve begged for you to break me. Maybe it was the heat of the moment. I don’t know but I do know that I love you and that I want to help you in any way I can.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Evvie,” he added, his voice thick.

“There’s a difference between hurting me and harming me, Brett,” I said, turning back around. “You should know that. Look at the things we have done already.”

His hand ran up and down my arm before he replied. “I’m scared that one of these days I’ll be too rough, Evvie.”

“Don’t be. Yes, your passion overwhelms me sometimes but not because I’m scared of you.”

“Then what?”

I thought a moment. “It scares me that I enjoy it so much and that I crave more.” I realized as soon as the words left my lips, the revelation dawned on me. Brett liked administering pain for pleasure and I loved receiving it. Did that really make me a masochist? Was I a freak?

“No man ever spanked you during sex before?” he asked. It was like he read my mind.

I shook my head. “I thought it was weird but with you…” My cheeks heated. “God, the feel of your hands landing hard against my ass…” A hot shiver ran down my spine and I cleared my throat.

“I enjoy knowing that I’m your first…and last for many things,” Brett said, his voice lowering.

I smiled. “You better be my last.”

He smirked and kissed my forehead. “I am yours.”

I watched as he entwined our fingers. It was a slow, sensual movement but it meant so much that in just that small touch, I could feel his love pouring between our fingertips.

“Does it bother you?” he asked softly.

“Hmm?”

He grinned. “Does it bother you that you enjoy the pain I give you?”

I chewed my bottom lip. “I’m…I don’t know. During the moment, no, but when I go back and think about it, I wonder if something is wrong with me.”

“Did it bother you that you asked for me to use my belt on you?” he asked, wrapping his hand around my throat.

My body instantly melted into his touch, relaxing at the restraint of him holding me. “No. Actually, it didn’t.” And that was the truth. “But this is all new to me. I just don’t know how to deal.”

He kissed my head. “We learn in time.” His hand moved to the back of my neck. “I’m here to teach you.”

“Does it bother you that I like the pain you give me?” As soon as the question left my lips, I felt dumb. Why would it bother him?
God, Evvie. You’re such a—

“No. Not at all. In fact, it makes me realize that I finally met my match. My one.” He leaned down to my ear. “My only.”

I smiled. We sat in silence for what felt like hours. Just enjoying each other. We had been dating for around four months but it felt like I had known him my whole life.

“I’ve always had this urge. This need to control. That’s why I wanted to have my own business. Working for someone else? Not my fucking thing. And I’ve always been dominating.”

I nodded. That was no surprise there.

“Even when my mother or her boyfriends smacked me around, I fought back. I tried to get as many punches in before they knocked me out.”

As much as I didn’t like hearing about his childhood, I knew it was good for him to talk. The fact that he was finally opening up after all of this time made me thankful for my bathtub idea.

Our eyes locked, my heart skipping a beat at the heat in his gaze.

“Lover, you are the only one that could break
me
into submission. That could bring me to my knees…willingly.”

I shook my head. “I…no. I don’t want that.”

He pinched my chin. “If it meant being with you for the rest of my life and making you happy? I would gladly give up my control for good. For you.”

“You did it once. That’s enough.”

“Evvie…”

“No,” I snapped. I let out a deep sigh. “I enjoy giving up my control in the bedroom with you. I want that. I want you. I…” I chewed my bottom lip. “I need it.”

A smug smile formed on his face. “I know but I’m just saying that if it came to that—”

“And I’m just saying that it won’t happen again. That was enough for me. For us.” Even though it was only the once, it really bothered me but also thrilled me to the core that he had done that for me. That he had let me control and dominate him as we made up but I didn’t want that again. “I love you too much to put you through that. I could feel you holding back your need to control me.”

“I always need to control you. The way your body submits under my touch, satisfies me.”

“That’s how I want it.” It wouldn’t be right of me to ask for anything else. It was one thing to play and attempt to dominate him but I knew deep down, it would never really happen. That’s how I wanted it. I needed his control of me.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Because Evvie, I enjoy making your beautiful pale skin redden under my touch. And the way you moan when you’re trying to fight back the pleasure you get from the sting of my palm. I also know you like it when I fuck you while your pussy is not quite wet enough but you like that pain, don’t you? The tingle of my thick cock splitting you open,” he breathed in my ear. “as I take you rough.”

My eyes fluttered closed as I let his words wash over me. Everything he said was right.
He
was right.

“But when that happens, your pussy becomes instantly wet. I can feel it clench around me. Gripping me tight. Sucking me dry,” he purred.

“Hmmm…” My body hummed. I could listen to him speak for hours, his deep voice caressing my skin like silk.

“I know everything about your body.” He nipped my ear. “When you came against my belt?” He groaned. “God, it was the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I also know that it freaks you out when you like pain.”

“It more shocked me than freaked me out,” I whispered. “Am I a masochist?”

Brett smiled and kissed my nose. “Would it bother you if you were?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“There is nothing wrong with it. As long as we are safe and both of us consent, that’s all that matters. I do believe they need pain to get off but you…”

I looked up at him. “So did I.”

His eyes darkened. “No. You only need my touch and you’re putty in my hands.”

I laughed, snuggling against him and thought a moment. “But pain enhances the orgasm.”

“Exactly. The belt helped. My hands help,” his voice lowered. “Giving you pleasure pleases me and there is nothing wrong with that whether you are a masochist or not. You crave the delicious sting.”

I did. The hot intense tingle of heat spreading over my body as he spanked me with his hand or belt, left me panting and aching for more.

“Thank you for distracting me.” Brett kissed my shoulder, letting his lips linger.

“Thank you for not making fun of me,” I said, looking at our joined hands.

“Why would I make fun of you? It was an honest question.”

I shrugged and sat forward.

His hand brushed down my spine and back up to my neck before wrapping around my throat.