Return to Me: #1 Love Gone Rogue Series (2 page)

Nikki

I
didn’t even protest as I was carried into the car. I knew I had to get to the hospital immediately, and it didn’t matter if the person who would get me there was the current recipient of all my hate and spite. It didn’t matter if he was the person who had insulted and said more than crude words to me.

The fact that I had once loved him and had that love thrown back in my face also didn’t matter. Nor the fact that despite the way he had tossed me out of his house and his life, he was the one who had come looking for me. The one who was currently caring for me almost as if he had never left.

No. I would not bring my feelings into this. I would keep a clear level head. I would not think about my past. Because that’s exactly what it was. Just my past; not my present nor my future. I would not bring my emotions into this. My child’s life depended on me being fine.

When he sat me down in the limo, I moved as far as possible in the seat, putting as much distance between us as humanly possible within the confines of the small car. Funny how one of the most spacious cars suddenly seemed so small with him in the vicinity.

It had always been like that. Whenever he appeared in a room, he seemed to command the entire space. It’s like crowds parted for him and rooms went silent to acknowledge his presence. He didn’t even need to speak to announce his presence. His aura was enough.

I always seemed out of breath in his presence and despite the separation and the time that had passed, it didn’t seem like something that had gone away. I tried to calm myself and to steady my breathing.

It was then that he asked me which hospital to take me to. I gave him the name of the really inexpensive hospital I had planned to go to but wasn’t really surprised when he rejected my choice. It was after all in his nature to only get the best, even if he claimed that distance was the issue. If he was just going to take me where he wanted, what was the point in asking anyway? It’s not like he ever listened.

But I knew that if I didn’t lay boundaries now, things would get complicated. “No. That’s too expensive. I couldn’t afford it.”

“What do you mean you can’t afford it? What about all the money you st- got from me? Did you finish it already?”

I gritted my teeth in anger. So that’s what he still thought. Somehow I had clung to some small hope in my heart, a hope that one day he would realize the truth and then he would find me and we’d be together again. That was just another of my dreams that had turned into ashes. If it wasn’t for the life that I was just about to let into this world, I really would have nothing. But what hurt more, is that I wouldn’t be able to give my child the life I had always dreamed for him. One full of light and happiness and people who loved him without conditions and restraints.

What in hell did I ever see in this man that made me fall so desperately in love with him? He’s just so infuriating!

And now we were arguing, as we always had during our relationship, if that’s what you’d call it. At first, in the beginning of our relationship, everything was perfect. We enjoyed each other’s company and never argued. Plus, the sex was – phenomenal to say the least. We just couldn’t get enough of each other. The amount of attention he had laved on me had made me feel so special: like the queen of his heart. Corny yes, but it was how I had felt.

Everything was perfect. But it was too good to be true. Eventually, everything went downhill.

The argument didn’t last long. It seemed not even her child liked those arguments. He wanted to be let out. This time, the pain was much worse. I could hardly breathe, let alone think. I dug my nails into the plush seat and shut my eyes out tightly. How the hell did anyone ever get through child birth?

I barely felt myself being lifted out of the car. Barely heard the noises around me as people rushed about at Damien’s barked orders. I grasped at the first thing my hands could reach, which just happened to be Damien himself. I clawed my hands into him, feeling the pain go through me. But even in the dark recesses of my mind, only one thought took root, I didn’t want to be alone, to go through this alone. And so I held onto Damien as tightly as I could and refused to let go.

The next time my vision cleared, and I could breathe better, I realized that I was in a bed, in a room that seemed more like a theatre. Oh my God! It was a theatre! That must mean that it was time….

A man in surgical scrubs lifted his head. “Hello, Miss Snow. I’m Doctor Carter and I will be your doctor during your stay here. Now, you’re already crowning, so we’ll have to save the pleasantries for later. All I want you to do is focus on your breathing and to push hard, whenever the next wave of contractions come. Okay?”

I nodded and continued my inspection of the brightly lit room. There was something, or rather someone missing.

“Where is Damien?”

“Mr. Knight is right outside. I was informed that he is not the father of the baby. He’ll be with you as soon as you are settled down after delivering the baby.”

I understood what he was saying, and why he said it, but I just didn’t care. I was the one who had to go through labor, and I refused to do it alone. And so, even as the pangs of pain began to hit, I declared, “Have him come in. I need him here.”

And then began to push. I had always thought that as soon as you started to push, the baby would automatically come out, but it seemed to not to be the case. After just five minutes, I was exhausted. I didn’t think I could do any more. But then I felt Damien’s warm familiar hands; one stroke my cheek, while the other held my hand.

“You can do this, Nikki. I’m here.”

And as if that was all I had been waiting for, when the next wave of contractions hit, I pushed with all of my might, till I heard the wails of my baby.

“It’s a boy!” The Doctor said, but I didn’t care all I wanted to do was hold my child in my arms. As if reading my mind, Damien let go of me, and came back a few minutes later with a pink bundle wrapped in a towel.

He looked just perfect. Furthermore, he looked exactly like his father, with those blue eyes staring up at me as if in wonder, and his tiny patch of dark hair. Just perfect.

From that moment I laid my eyes on him, I never I would do anything to protect him. No matter the cost. In that moment, that one moment, my family was complete. I had the love of my life beside me, and this bundle of joy in my arms. I couldn’t ask for more. What could have been better than that? But it was only in that one moment.

The nurses had to take him away to perform some tests and also to leave me to rest. The exhaustion suddenly got to me and my eyes got droopy. I really needed – no, wanted, to rest. And so my last waking words were to the man whose hand I now held in mine.

“Please, don’t leave.”

Damien

S
he looked so peaceful, so calm in her bed. I didn’t want anyone to disturb her from this moment of serenity. Instead I took a moment to admire her. She really was absolutely stunning.

Somehow, to him, having given birth just made her seem all the more beautiful. She would have looked even better if she had been giving birth to my child though, the thought suddenly occurred in his head.

But I had to admit that when in that delivery room, when I had first held that beautiful innocent boy in my arms, when I had first stared into those big blue eyes that coincidentally were the same color as mine, in my mind, the boy was mine. My flesh and blood.

And when Nikki had held the boy wrapped up in the blanket, they had been my family. The family that deep down I’d always longed to have. In that moment, my heart had felt complete.

It was only logical that after that, when Nikki asked me to stay, I had done just that.

What surprised me was how Nikki had asked for me to be beside her in the delivery room. I’d been utterly shocked. Why would she ask me, the man who’d treated her so badly, to be next to her in one of the most important moments in her life?

There really were only to answers to that; either she really was afraid of being alone and was willing to tolerate even the man whom she claimed to hate, or she’d seen a meal ticket for her and her child when I’d shown up outside of her building and she was taking advantage. Based on past occurrences, the latter seemed more accurate.

However, just that thought left a sour taste in my mouth. It seemed that after all this time, I still hadn’t fully accepted that she was just another greedy whore.

I thought about the boy, that innocent boy who had played no part in his mother’s games, and who deserved a proper life with a proper family.

Then I thought about Nikki’s lies and deception. She had hurt him badly, but the pain he had gone through was not a reason to deny the child joy and love.

I had to think of a way to get Nikki back where she belonged, back with me, in my bed. Because even as I watched her sleep, I felt that tingling sensation that I hadn’t felt in a while. That feeling I always got whenever my manhood stood to attention whenever Nikki was around. I saw the way her lips seemed so full and ripe, so appealing, almost as if they were calling to me to kiss them. The way her hair, now unbraided, fanned out on the pillow, called to me to wrap it silkiness in my hands.

At that moment, I yearned to feel her in my arms. To feel her naked smooth skin against mine. To see her face filled with pleasure as she called out my name and lost herself in my arms. To feel her give herself completely to me with no regrets and no worries. To see her eyes, look at me in wonder after she comes. I really did need to see it all.

It didn’t matter that all she wanted from me was material. I was willing to give her everything she asked for. As long as she remained in my house and in my bed, I didn’t care about anything else. I was going to have her, no matter the cost.

In the process, I would also gain a son, one who I would treasure and love like I would my own blood. He would want for nothing. He would be my son in everyone’s eyes. My heir. My legacy. Yes, everything would be right again. No one would come in the way of his plans this time. No one.

But even as I came up with plans for the future, as if trying to prove me wrong, my phone came to life. I had had my executive assistant deal with all my meetings and any other urgent matters, so I was surprised that someone was still calling.

It was my mother. Probably about to throw another hissy fit again. She’d been quite adamant lately, with her quest for me to marry not just anyone, but Brittney. Disgusting!! That would be exactly like marrying my mother. I was not up for another tantrum at the moment, so I let the call go to voicemail. Then I put my phone on silent mode and put it back into my pocket.

But that call had awoken me to another possible issue. My mother would never stand for me to be together with Nikki, let alone take in her son as my own. That would definitely be a war. But one thing she would have to understand was that it was never going to be Brittney.

This time I wasn’t going to take any of her crap. I knew, I had always known that she despised and loathed Nikki despised Nikki’s best efforts to try and get along. She always claimed that Nikki was trying to take me away from her. A lot of drama and tears had followed.

But this time will be different. I will ensure it.

And as I watched Nikki’s eyes flicker as she finally opened her eyes, I knew I had made the best decision.

All that was left was to get Nikki to return to me.

Nikki

T
he light was intruding into my sleep and pulling me from the darkness I had fallen into. I felt tired. I both physically and emotionally ached. I tried to lift my arms but they felt limp. I only managed a slight movement of my fingers.

I slowly opened my eyes, even though my eyelids were so heavy, almost as if I was tracking sandbags. The room was unfamiliar. All I remembered was passing out right after I… Tears came to my eyes as I remembered the miracle that I had given birth to. He was just perfect, in every way. He had to be, seeing as he was a replica of his father; his blue eyes, his hair, even his nose.

Speaking of his father, I was surprised at my insistence that Damien be in the delivery room with me. I doubt the doctor was surprised, he must see a lot of drama every single day. But Damien…

I’m sure he wasn’t counting on an ex-girlfriend including him in child birth. He must be thinking that it was a ploy to get him back into my life! Oh Hell! I shouldn’t have asked for him, and I definitely should not have asked him to stay. It’s no wonder he didn’t stay. I must have seemed like a really desperate needy girl. Arrrghh! What am I going to say the next time I see him? I hope I don’t have to see him again, I’ll die of shame.

I was distracted from my guilt trip by voices outside my door. Then the door was opened. As if I was a thief caught pants down, I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I had no idea why I did that. I guess I wanted to be left alone with my guilt and embarrassment.

“You know, you are the cutest baby I have ever seen. And you aren’t even as noisy as other new-borns; not that I’ve been around them a lot. But it’s like I feel a connection with you.”

Oh My God! Wonders never cease! It was Damien, and he was talking to who I assumed was my baby. Damien Knight, talking to a baby! I swallowed a giggle that had come up in my throat. How I wished that I could just open my eyes and witness that scene.

“You know, you’re gonna see a lot more of me than what your mother expects. I have a proposal for her, which I know she’ll accept and I would tell her about it instead of you, if only she’d stop pretending she was asleep and talk to me.”

Huh! Shit, I’ve been caught. I opened my eyes slowly and turned to face him.

“How?” I asked.

“I can always tell when you’re asleep and when you’re not. Always.”

I remembered those times when we were still together when I faked being asleep. Especially that one time at his beach house…

I’d wanted to entice him from his seemingly endless work and to me. I knew that his office had a direct view of the pool area. So I sat on a lounge chair by the pool in my bikini. Then facing away from him, I took the bikini top off and lay down on the chair on my stomach, and closed my eyes.

A few minutes later, pretending to be deep in slumber, I turned and lay on my back, giving him, if he was looking a nice view of my now topless front. It didn’t take long for me to feel a shadow on me. My inner goddess did somersaults in glee.

His deep resounding voice resonated all the way to my now soaking pulsing core, “I think you need a lesson on decency.” Then starting with the kisses he trailed down my neck and body and the feasting he did on my nipples, he proceeded to show me, for the next three hours, exactly what he thought of my ‘lapse in decency’.

I shuddered when I realized that he also must have known then, exactly what I was doing. My cheeks flamed up. I must have been red all over. God! He must have thought I was so needy.

As if reading my mind, “As much as I would love to rehash and relive whatever’s made you turn red, we have something to discuss, and it can’t wait.”

Oh that! What must be this urgent? It’s probably about those sins he thinks I committed and he wants me to confess. But something about his expression made me doubt that. He actually seemed…nervous. What could make a man like him seem nervous? Did Damien Knight even get nervous? Apparently so.

I watched him as he walked to a bassinet that had been placed beside my bed and laid the now sleeping baby in it. I had even forgotten about my own baby! All because of Damien! This is definitely not a good start to motherhood form me. How fast could I forget my own blood just because of the man standing before me? The man who tore my life to pieces just because he had no heart. That thought sobered me and I sat up in the hospital bed, seeing as I had gotten a little of my strength back.

Then I waited.

I watched Damien as he pulled up a chair closer to the bed and sat his lithe body down. Then giving all his attention to me, he spoke.

“I’ll get straight to the point. I want to be your baby’s father.”

My heart skipped a beat and my jaw dropped. This wasn’t real. Damien could not be seated next to me claiming that he wanted to be my baby’s father. I was horrified. Who the hell did he think fathered my baby? And how the hell could he be seated there looking like he was Prince Charming, here to save me from my dragons, when he was the reason why we were in this position in the first place? And what did he even mean by being my baby’s father? Did he want to adopt him? Take him away from me? I may be the mother, but with his money and connections, there was nothing out of reach from him.

The conclusion I came to, was that he must be joking.

“Very funny.”

“No one’s joking here, Kay. Why would you even think that?” He actually had the gall to look offended.

“What exactly are you saying?”

“I want to take in your son as my own. To be recognized legally as his father. To give him my name and make him my heir. He will have the best of the best and most of all he will be safe and happy in a stable home. Of course, we will have to be married to ensure that….”

“Stop right there. I went down that road once with you, and I am not going back. Second of all, my son will have everything he needs with me. He doesn’t require luxuries to be happy. So the answer to your so-called proposal is no.”

“Why so quick to refute it? You didn’t even properly consider it. If you had, you would realize that this was an excellent opportunity for your son. As a mother you should be concerned about what’s best for your son. And a child needs to be brought up in a loving home with two available parents. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t see the son of a bitch who got you pregnant around here. I’m assuming he’s abandoned you. So I don’t see why you’re not even giving thought to my proposal.”

I was fuming and I swear I could feel smoke coming out of my ears. How dare he! “Don’t you dare to tell me what’s best for my son. I am his mother and I know what’s best for him.”

“Apparently not…”

“Let me finish. You have no moral ground on this occasion to be speaking to me like this. You have no right to talk to me like that when you’re the son of a bitch who abandoned me. And I am not implying, I am stating that you are the father of my baby. Now please, take those ideas and egoistic notions and leave my room. I’m tired and I’d like to rest before he wakes up. Oh! And my son’s name is Dylan.”

Then I turned and lay back in the bed and closed my eyes.

A few minutes later, I heard the door open and close. He was gone. How large can one’s ego get? Just because I let him in the delivery room he thinks that he can now judge and control mine and my son’s life. Did he really think I would agree to that? I would basically selling my soul to the devil and damning my son to a life of sorrow.

He may have thought that I was like a dog that would just a keel over at his master’s instruction and maybe that was how I had been, but now I was different. I wasn’t that loyal dog anymore. I was going to fight for what was right and what would make me happy. I wasn’t just going to place my happiness in someone else’s lap ever again.

He would never again get the chance to throw me away like trash. And marriage, no! No, not ever again.

I would never return to him.