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K
ARI HAD BEEN LOOKING
forward to this day for a month.

She and Ryan had been swamped with family get-togethers and dinner parties and wedding details almost constantly since they’d announced their engagement. Now summer was almost over, and they still hadn’t taken a day for themselves. Because of that, they made this plan.

One week before the big Labor Day Baxter picnic, they’d slip away—just the two of them—and spend a day fishing at Lake Monroe. The way they’d done so often back when they were teenagers, back when they knew as surely as they knew the seasons that no matter what else happened in life, the two of them would be together.

They chose a Saturday because Ryan was using the weekdays to run his high school football players through weight training and drills. And though it would be busier than usual on the shore, Kari wasn’t concerned. She and Ryan wouldn’t be on the shore. They’d be on Ryan’s boat, lost somewhere out in the lake in a place and time where the past would feel whisper close, and the future a heartbeat away.

The morning dawned bright and warm, and just after breakfast Ryan knocked on the door.

“Daddy’s here, Jessie.” Kari raised her eyebrows at her daughter as she headed toward the front of the house. They’d been teaching Jessie to call Ryan by the name she was bound to call him the rest of her life. Ryan already had the papers in order, and once they returned from their honeymoon he planned to start the adoption proceedings. By this time next year, it would be official.

He would be Jessie’s father.

Jessie scampered to the door. When Kari opened it, her daughter held her hands up and gave Ryan a toothy grin. “Daddy!”

Ryan looked tanned in his tank top and shorts, much like the boy who had first captured her attention so many years ago. He leaned close and gave Kari a quick kiss, then he bent over and swept Jessie into his arms. “How’re my favorite girls?”

Jessie brought her hands to his face and touched his cheeks, his nose. “Daddy love?”

“That’s right, baby.” He nuzzled his cheek against hers. “Daddy loves you.”

Kari watched. Would she ever get used to seeing Ryan Taylor loving her daughter, claiming her as his own? How good God was to let their painful past come to this. She grabbed a bag with juice drinks and diapers and playthings for Jessie and nodded toward the door. “We’re ready.”

“Good.” He shifted Jessie to his other side and pulled Kari into a quick hug. His eyes met hers, and his love for her was as real as his presence. “I can’t wait to get out on the water.”

They took Jessie to her parents’ house, and Kari gave her mother instructions about naptime and Jessie’s favorite foods.

“Where’s John?” Ryan raised his eyebrows as he moved past Kari and her mother.

“Out back.” Elizabeth took Jessie from Kari’s arms. “Working on a few loose sections of the porch railing. He wants the yard perfect for the wedding.”

Ryan headed outside and Kari turned to her mother. “Is Cole coming over?”

A curious look filled her eyes. “I’m not sure. Ashley hasn’t been around much.”

“But it’s the weekend. Doesn’t she usually bring him over so she can paint outside?”

“Usually.” Her mother gave a slow shake of her head. “But something’s eating her. Ever since she got back from New York.”

“The gallery took her paintings again, right?” Kari ran the back of her finger absently over Jessie’s cheek. The baby had her pacifier and was enjoying being held by her grandma.

“Definitely. They want more, as many more as Ashley can get them.”

Kari shrugged. “Maybe she’s stressed. I mean, she’s still working at Sunset Hills, and now to have to produce like that. Her art’s never been something she’s had to churn out.”

“That could be it.” Jessie squirmed and stretched her arms toward the floor. “Okay, little one.” Kari’s mother set the little girl down and patted the top of her head. “You’re as busy as your mother was at that age.” Her eyes lifted to Kari’s, and she hesitated. “To be honest, Ashley’s worrying me. As much as she’s struggled in the past, these should be the best days of her life. She and Landon are doing well; her art’s being discovered. She has a great relationship with Cole and us and the rest of you.” She hesitated. “Her distance lately doesn’t figure.”

“Maybe she’s upset about Luke.” Kari cocked her head. “I think the two of them still talk.”

“If they do, she doesn’t tell us about it.”

Kari paused. “He still hasn’t called?”

“No.” Her mother’s eyes grew misty and her smile faded. “Your father misses him so much.”

A flash of anger stilled the busy places in Kari’s heart. “Maybe I need to talk to him.”

“He won’t take your call. The last few times we’ve tried, he doesn’t answer the phone.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Kari put her hand on her mother’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t know it had gotten that bad.”

“He’ll come around.” She forced a smile and took a few steps toward Jessie. “I have to believe that. Your father believes it, too.”

“If Ashley comes by this afternoon, tell her to hang out and wait for us to get back. Maybe she knows something.” Kari heard the back door open and turned to see Ryan and her father coming inside.

“Today’s the big lake day, huh?” Her father came to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You two have a great time.” He winked at Ryan. “Don’t spend the day talking about mints and party favors.”

An hour later they were in Ryan’s boat, pushing off from the dock at the country club. It was just before ten o’clock, and they had the entire day together. Kari took the seat at the back of the boat and stared at the tree-lined shore as they idled out toward the lake’s center.

“It’s gorgeous.” She made her voice loud enough for him to hear. “I should’ve brought my sunglasses.”

He took his off and held them up. “Want these?”

“No, thanks. I have a visor in my bag.”

“Okay.” He slipped them back on and opened the throttle.

It felt like a lifetime ago that she and Ryan went out on this boat on a cool winter day, back when Tim was still alive, back when he was living with one of his college students. Now his killer was about to have his day in court, and the newspapers claimed it would be an easy win for the prosecution.

They were halfway across the lake when Ryan reduced their speed and gave his seat a partial turn so he could see her. “What’re you thinking about?”

It was early, and this far out the lake was quiet. Kari leaned her head to one side and smiled at him. “Life…how strange it is. How sad about Tim and the college kid who killed him. The boy’s trial starts in late October. At least that’s what the district attorney told me last time he called.”

Ryan directed his gaze toward the front of the boat once more. They still had a way to go before they reached their favorite spot, so he opened up the throttle and crossed the water to a quiet cove near the distant shore. It was a place they’d come to before, in Ryan’s rowboat as kids, and then when Kari’s world was so uncertain.

Ryan cut the engine and faced her fully. “I wish they didn’t have to use you as a witness at the trial.”

“It’ll be brief.” Kari stood and stretched. She made her way to the chair beside his and turned so their knees were touching. “They want me to make it clear that Tim didn’t have an idea he was being stalked. That the guy was definitely lying in wait, that he surprised Tim.”

“I know.” Ryan leaned back and angled his face toward the sun. “I just wish you didn’t have to do it. The past few years have been hard enough.”

Kari rested her elbows on her knees and laced her fingers together. “The past several months haven’t been that bad.”

“True…” Ryan looked at her and a smile played on his lips. She couldn’t see his eyes through his sunglasses, but she could still read his expression, the way he felt about her. “Who would’ve thought we’d have this day?”

“Even after Tim died, I figured you’d move on.” She drew a slow breath and closed her eyes. The breeze off the lake played against her face and eased the hectic pace they’d fallen into lately. “As though somehow I’d already lost my chance to love you.”

He took gentle hold of her legs and rubbed his thumbs along the sides of her knees. “Crazy Kari girl. You always assumed the worst.”

They were quiet, and Kari’s memories returned with a rush. She looked at Ryan and saw he was watching her. “I was thinking about my graduation party.”

He smiled, but even now a tinge of sadness played on his expression. “We were both so stupid.”

“We were.” She settled back against the boat chair and covered his hands with hers. She tilted her chin and looked at him again. “When was the first time you knew you loved me?”

Ryan let his head fall back some, and a teasing look played at the corners of his lips. “Really?”

“Yes.” Kari pulled her legs up beside her and leaned on the arm of the chair. “Do you remember?”

He pursed his lips and gave a slow nod of his head. “Like it was yesterday.”

“So tell me.” An eagle soared overhead and disappeared into the trees that bordered the cove.

“Okay.” He gazed at the spot in the sky where the eagle had been. “I had that truck, the one I drove back in high school.”

“Mm-hmm.” She loved this, sitting here suspended in time, walking through a million yesterdays.

“That one summer—you were fifteen, I think—I’d park it in my driveway, and you and I would climb in the back and watch the stars.”

“We’d sit shoulder to shoulder for hours.” A smile filled her heart at the memory.

“And one night, I’m not sure what we were talking about, but it was late, you had to get home. And before you left, I leaned over and kissed you. Remember?”

“Yes.” Even now Kari savored the moment as clearly as if it had just happened. Her cheeks tingled, and she absently ran her fingertips over them. “I couldn’t sleep a bit that night.”

“I liked you before that…being with you, hanging out at the lake. Playing catch in the street.” He wove his fingers between hers and gave her hands a slight squeeze. “But after that kiss, I knew you had me. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I never did.”

“Really?” The sun was moving higher in the sky. Kari shaded her eyes so she could see his face better.

“Never, Kari girl.” He leaned forward and worked his fingers along the side of her face, deep into her hair. “Okay.” His voice fell a notch. “Your turn.”

Kari put her free hand around his neck and kissed him. Not a long kiss, but one filled with passion all the same. The passion of remembering the places where their love first began. When she drew back she leveled her gaze at him. “You want to know when I first fell for you; is that it?”

“Yep. I bet it was the time the guys and I noticed you at the drinking fountain your first year at Bloomington High.”

“Wrong.” She moved close to him again and rubbed her nose against his. Then she sat back and took hold of the chair’s armrests.

“When I brought you flowers on your sixteenth birthday?” Ryan raised an eyebrow.

“You really don’t know?” A lighthearted laugh made its way up from Kari’s soul. How could he not have seen it?

He leaned hard against the back of his chair. “No clue.”

“It was the barbecue.”

“The barbecue?”

“The one where we played football out front after we ate. The day my family moved in down the street from yours.”

Ryan thought for a minute. “But we’d only just met that day.”

“Exactly.” Kari took his hands in hers again. “That’s when I knew I’d love you forever, Ryan Taylor. The first time I ever saw you.”

He stood and lifted her to her feet. Together they moved toward the side of the boat and he sat on it, drawing her close. “Come here, Kari girl.”

She came to him easily, slipping her arms around his neck. “I thought we’d never be apart after that.”

Ryan brought his lips together. “We wouldn’t have been if I’d been thinking straight.” He lowered his brow, and she could see his heart despite his sunglasses.

She pulled herself closer to him and let her forehead fall against his. “It doesn’t matter. It’s behind us.”

He was quiet. “I feel weird sometimes, talking about how glad I am that things worked out for us.”

“Because of Tim?”

“Yes.” Ryan eased back and traced her cheekbone with his thumb. “As long as I live I’ll be sorry about what happened to Tim. In a certain way, you know?”

“Of course.” Kari relaxed her hold on him and leaned sideways against his leg. “Me, too.”

“When Jessie’s older, I want her to be able to talk about him.” He paused, and the gentle lapping of water sounded against the boat. “Because
he
was her daddy first.”

A lump formed in Kari’s throat. She waited until it was gone before voicing the words that stirred in her heart. “That means so much to me, Ryan. After—” she swallowed hard—“after the way Tim treated me, I know you didn’t think much of him. But he was my husband…Jessie’s father. The fact that you respect that means more than you’ll ever know.”

“I didn’t understand at first, but remember that day at the lake, the last time we were here?”

“Yes.” She drew a slow breath.

“You didn’t kiss me that day. Know why?”

“Of course.” Another boat sped by a ways off. A moment passed before the sound faded.

“You told me love was a decision, and that you’d decided to love Tim the day you married him.” Ryan ran his fingers lightly down the length of her bare arm. “Until that day I didn’t really understand love, Kari. And when I moved away, when I took the job coaching the Giants, it was because I was making a decision to love you back. The way you wanted to be loved. In a way that respected what you had with Tim.”

“I didn’t see you again until Jessie was born.” The memories—all of them—were still so fresh, living still in the hidden places of her heart and refusing to die.

“God showed me that I could love you better by letting you go.”

She smiled, awed even now that they were here, together. “And when you returned?”

“I made a decision to return. Because God showed me that your time alone was over, and that my decision to love you—to
always
love you—was something I could do right here beside you. For the rest of our lives.”