Retrieval (29 page)

Did he have deeper feelings for her than just lust? Did he enjoy making love with her? Did he want this to go further? All those questions banged around like bongo drums inside her head, and she struggled to rebuild her barriers so that her blatant insecurity didn’t give him even more of an upper hand than he already had with her.

“Yes. Yes. And Yes,” he said in a deep, grumbly voice. His words stirred the hair at her nape.

“You’re getting really good at intruding where you shouldn’t.”

“Maybe if you tried a little harder, you wouldn’t have to lie there wondering how I feel.”

Raina had told her earlier that she’d worked with Sebastian on building and maintaining his barriers. His link with Sky was like cement apparently, but thank the Good Lord there was no bleed over to her sisters. She’d go around blushing all the time if they could hear what went on between her and Bastian. Raina said that he had a natural ability to block out his thoughts from others, but she’d had no idea if a deeper level of intimacy would affect that or not.

Sky had tried to slip into his mind earlier with no luck, so that whole “deeper level of intimacy” was a nonentity. He was blocking her efficiently and somewhat ruthlessly, and it made her scared for some reason.

She made to leave his big bed. “Maybe I should just block the hell out of you, and see how you like it. Or better yet, maybe I should just keep my big mouth shut and keep my feelings to myself.” Sky’s voice was broken.

“Come back here, Skylar. I don’t mean to block you, it’s just instinctive. I’m new at this, so please give me some time. I don’t know anything about this link you and I share. You’ve had years to manipulate the bond with your sisters, and I’ve had, what, under a week?” He pulled her back against his hard body and wrapped his left arm around her midsection.

She melted against him, soaked in his heat and inhaled his scent so that her memory would always be on point. She didn’t know what to say. She’d laid her heart bare to him, and while he hadn’t pushed her out of the bed, he hadn’t returned anything except for some vague assurances that he wanted her.

“You wanted to know if my feelings are deeper than just lust. Yes they are. Enjoy is nowhere near an adequate description of how I feel when we make love, and forever could not possibly be long enough to have you with me. I’m not a man who quotes poetry Sky. I’m a soldier. I only know that you make me feel things I’ve never felt before, and the thought of losing you terrifies me. So how’s that for getting it all out there and leaving myself wide open?” he asked as he pressed his lips to the top of her spine as he continued to stroke down her sides to her hips and back again.

“I’ve told you how I feel, Bastian, and it was no lie. I love you, so as far as being wide open, I’m like the Grand freakin’ Canyon here. You blindsided me, and while I’m not entirely comfortably with any of this, I will always cherish this time with you.” Sky’s voice was full of everything she was scared to say.

“That sounds suspiciously like you’re planning on leaving.” His voice was hard as his body stiffened tautly behind her. “Is that what you and your sisters were shielding for earlier? Are you making plans to leave, and go it on your own?”

There weren’t words to describe the icy coldness of his voice. If the thought of her leaving him made him this angry, what would he be like when she actually did leave?

“No,” she responded carefully, well aware that she was lying but not in a million years going to tell him the truth.

“I get a bad feeling that I’m going to regret letting this go right now, but the feel of you next to me is doing things to my control, and all I can think about is—shit.”

His words ended in a husky growl as she pushed back onto his hardened shaft. She’d felt him impossibly hard against her back from the moment she’d stopped dozing. Her body was pliant and more than ready for another round of his lovemaking. Plus, she needed to not think about what was coming, for a few more hours anyway, and finding her peace within the shelter of his arms and big body was just the way to clear her mind.

*

She was torturing his cock and sweat began to bead on his forehead. Her soft, hot entrance had to be at its limit considering she wasn’t used to having a man inside of her body at all, much less this often and this hard, but she continued to ride him like there was no tomorrow, and he could only hold on. He had no control this go-round. This was her show, and he hoped he had the control to last long enough to bring her some pleasure while she took him to a height he hadn’t thought possible.

Slowly she moved back until he was fully seated, only to move her hips forward, unsheathing him but leaving him bathed in her warm, syrupy juices. He ground his teeth together and fought the urge to grab her hips and plunge himself endlessly inside her. He sensed she wanted to be in control, and it took everything in him to wrap his arms around her and just hold on.

“Touch me, Bastian.”

“Where, baby?”

“Here.” She moved his hands to her breasts, still moving slowly back and forward on his shaft.

“Like this?” he asked her as he tweaked her nipples and pulled just enough to bring a little spice to the pleasure.

“Oh yes. More, please?” She moved her hands down to his flank, so that she could find some purchase in the midst of the growing storm.

“Anything you want Sky, anything,” Sebastian promised as he lifted and teased her breasts, moving his hands restlessly down her torso, until he found the treasure he sought.

He found her bud and she was so slick with their combined wetness that he used that to lubricate his finger as he slowly worked her into a frenzy. He was rewarded for his efforts by her hips moving faster and faster on his cock. She worked the tip of his shaft, and his sac drew close to his body as he struggled to hold back his release.

“Bastian.”

“I’m here, baby, hold on to me, Sky, and let me have you.”

And then he took over and sent them both into the oblivion of a climax so shattering they flew apart and came together as one.

* * * *

“You awake?” she whispered into the darkness.

He snuggled closer to her. “Do you want me to be?” His sleep-roughened voice made her shiver.

“Is that a trick question?” she whispered back.

“Do you want it to be?” he asked deadpan.

“We’ve got to work on your after sex cuddling,” she informed him in a patently Skylar voice.

“Really?” he drawled as he pulled her ass back even tighter into the cradle of his thighs.

She settled against him with an ease that made her heart ache. It was just so damn easy being skin to skin with him.

“Yeah, see, the way I always figured it to be, you have sex, and then the man holds you close and tells you how wonderful you are, and how there is nobody on the earth that can rock his world the way you do.”

He sighed the sigh of million put out males that had her giggling and scooting so close it seemed she was trying to fuse herself to him. Night had fallen long ago and still they hadn’t left the bed. They hadn’t eaten, showered, or done anything other than love one another the entire day, and Skylar felt her time with him moving perilously to the end. She wanted each and every moment embedded within her mind, so that when it came time to finish her business with Smythe-Ward, she’d die with the very best of memories.

He squeezed her breast gently and then licked a path from her ear to her shoulder before sighing again.

“You are wonderful, Skylar McKannon, and there is nobody on earth that can rock my world the way that you have,” he dutifully responded.

“Do,” she corrected.

“Do,” he amended in a long-suffering voice that had her in a fit of giggling all over again.

“When did you buy this place?” she asked him when she caught her breath.

“About ten years ago. My dad died and left me a little money. I’d been in the service for seven years by then and knew that when I retired I’d want a place to settle down in. I bought this land, some land in my home state of South Carolina, and built cabins on both of them. It was an investment at the time, but it’s paid off because when I started my own business I had two properties to work from.”

“Do you miss him?”

“Who?”

“Your father?” she asked as she entwined their hands and basked in the warmth of his body.

“Yeah, I do. He wasn’t around a lot when I was a kid, but when he was he was great. My little sister and me, we moved with Mom wherever Dad was stationed, and we rarely got to see him, but I think I’m a lot like him. He was solid, and we never lacked for anything. My mother on the other hand, she was flighty and more often than not it was me and LuLu, that’s my sister, taking care of ourselves. It was okay, though. I learned how to be self-sufficient and how to keep my baby sister safe.” His words were light, but she could sense an underlying note of “don’t go there” in them.

Nobody had ever called her shy or hesitant.

She went there. “So where are your mother and sister now?”

“My mother died about eighteen years ago, and my sister is God only knows where, doing God only knows what.” His tone was definitely a “let’s end it here.”

“Oh,” she said, and let it end.

“Yeah, oh. Let’s not talk about sad things when I can see the morning peeking up over the horizon, and we still have time to get in a little lovin’.” He turned her onto her back and positioned himself between her legs, holding his weight off her with his forearms.

He leaned down and slid his lips against her, teased her into opening her mouth for him, so he could delve into her. The way this man moved her was so effortless that her heart really didn’t know what had hit it. His eyes reflected back her love, but she still had no idea if that’s how he really felt. The man was a master barrier builder, and she really was having a hard time reading him. While she knew that she could easily smash through what he had built in his mind, she didn’t want to destroy their fragile trust. At least not so soon. Not yet.

“You have heavy thoughts.”

Her face must have been an open book, and she loved the fact that right here, right now she could be completely honest with him.

“There’re always heavy thoughts, Bastian. But I’ll set them aside because right now, there’s really only room for you, for this.” She lifted her head up, so that she could fuse their lips.

Their tongues dueled slowly, and heat began to build between them.

“There’s so much I want to know about you, Sebastian. So many things we have to talk about and learn.”

“There’ll be plenty of time for all of that, Sky, I promise.” He brought his hand up to cup her face, and he looked at her as if he were memorizing every facet of her.

“There’s only so much time in anyone’s life, Sebastian, but for now we’ll play it your way. Besides your way is ever so much, um, yes, right there Bastian … it’s ever so much fun.” She moaned and gave herself over to the man who’d come to mean so much to her in so short a time.

“Good, girl. Yes, we’ll do it my way this time, and we’ll talk all you want to … later,” he promised her before moving in to take her back to ecstasy.

Chapter 18

Her stomach growled so ferociously it woke her up. It took her a moment to wipe the sleep from her eyes, but Sebastian was nowhere in sight. Sky sighed, stretched, and was reminded of all the well-loved places on her body. She groaned aloud at the rapture of the night before.

She got out of bed and moved to the bathroom, each step taking her farther from the sanctuary the bed had offered last night and the solace she’d found in her lover’s arms.

There was no way around it; she was leaving today. After Sebastian had made love to her the final time this morning, and as the sun rose over the mountains, she’d watched him sleep and made the decision that she had to go today, or she wouldn’t be able to leave at all.

It was time.

The warmth of the rising sun did nothing to erase the coldness that was seeping into her bones from the malevolent energy headed their way. She estimated she had about eight hours to make her move and effectively redirect Smythe-Ward from this area.

Her sisters were going to be pissed. Sebastian was, well, it didn’t bear thinking about how angry he was going to be with her. But they’d all be safe, and there wasn’t enough anger in the world to prevent her from achieving that goal. He’d given her some insight into what made him tick last night. He was obviously a born protector, and when she left he would see it as a blow to his manhood. After all, big he-man protects little she-woman, right?

If it were that easy, it would be much more than simple. Her life was destined to be much harder, and she’d be damned if she’d let that son of a bitch she and her sisters called a sperm donor destroy the people who meant the most to her.

Her sisters would be beyond rage. It’d always been them together, but she was going solo for this fight. They needed to be alive to pick up the pieces and destroy any leftover evil once Sky took care of Daddy Dearest. She hoped she could wipe out Smythe-Ward, Dempsey, and Cobb all at the same time, but she didn’t know if she had enough time to set up that effective of a diversion.

She stepped into the shower, handled her toilette, and wrapped a towel around herself. She closed the bathroom door, locked it, and after applying lotion to her body, she dressed slowly and towel dried her hair. She searched for a hair dryer and was somewhat pleased to note that there wasn’t one in Bastian’s bathroom.
He must not bring women here often
, she thought and had to stop from feeling so happy about that. After today, she’d have no rights to Sebastian. She’d have no right to feel any way about him. She was about to betray the trust they’d so tentatively built over the past few days, and even if she survived, which was highly doubtful, he wouldn’t want anything to do with her after this.

That hurt so much that she knew she bled over the barriers she’d set in place against him. So when he knocked on the door demanding to be let in she wasn’t surprised.

She composed herself, opened the door and gave him a vague smile.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked bluntly.