Restless Spirit (13 page)

Chapter Twenty-three

There is something to be said for doing it face to face in the cab of a truck while Mother Nature has a temper tantrum. I relished the feel of his hands on my hips – eager, strong, possessive. The strobe lightning lit his face and then threw it back into darkness – the whole effect was of being off balance. Of being held and controlled but free falling.

Shepherd drove up under me, filling me with his length and biting along my shoulder so I shivered and rippled in his arms. The steering wheel kept me from wandering and when I moved my hips from side to side and squeezed my internal muscles to milk him he groaned.

‘You trying to push me over the edge?’

‘Maybe,’ I said. I was so fucking close to coming. The wind and the rain and the storm only heightening the dream quality of it all. ‘Maybe I want you to tip with me, Shepherd.’

He bit my nipple through my blouse and then shoved the whole thing up to take me more gently between his lips. My pussy clenched, my stomach tingled.

‘I loved it when you said my name,’ he said, licking from one breast to the other so the heated trail cooled as he went. ‘And I hate my name.’

‘I love your name,’ I said rocking harder, grinding my clit to his pelvic bone as his hands cupped my ass.

‘Fuck me, Shepherd. Do me, Shepherd. Make me come, Shepherd,’ I said, being clever.

But he chose that moment to slide a long thick finger into my ass and press. The sensation snaked through my lower half and filled my pelvis as easily as smoke.

I came, rocking harder and simply saying, ‘Jesus, Shepherd.’

He yanked me down as he thrust up harder, one more deep go at me, and then he tipped. All he said was ‘Tuesday. Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday …’

And my heart seized up in my chest.

The lighting calmed and the storm blew out. Shepherd got out, big and bad in jeans and boots and yes, go figure, a nice shirt. He was back within moments as I got my clothes situated and buckled in.

‘Road’s fine. Few limbs. I tossed them aside. Now we can get home without ending up in the creek.’

He said creek the way Nan had which was crick. It made me smile. And yes, miss her yet again. It surprised me when he leaned over and kissed my temple gently before cranking the engine.

We watched the lighting strobe far off over another part of town. I felt it again, that lightning strike between us. That was what it reminded me of and the storm only solidified it. ‘Pretty,’ I said.

‘Gorgeous. I love weather,’ he said. ‘I’m happier in the crazy weird weather than sunshine. I guess I’m not a sunshine guy.’

I almost laughed but stifled it. ‘Me neither.’

‘Then I guess I don’t have to worry about you in your new house in this crazy shit. I was a little.’ He looked away like he was embarrassed for his concern.

‘Nah, I’m fine. I will admit, I got a bit spooked last night.’

He grunted and I couldn’t tell exactly what that meant.

‘Adrian’s still in the barn, too. So if there was a true problem–’

‘You could protect him,’ Shepherd said.

It caught me so off guard I started giggling. ‘That’s mean,’ I snorted.

‘Come on, you and your bat skills and life experience far outweigh that boy. You could probably kick his ass with one of your feet tied behind your back.’

‘Now there’s a mental image.’

‘About as realistic as the mental image of Adrian protecting you.’

‘Well lucky you, I don’t need protecting.’ It felt like a lie when I said it. Or maybe it was just that I liked that he had the urge to protect me.

He grunted again.

‘Would you like a rock to go with your caveman grunt?

‘No, but I’d like to toss you in that field right there and fuck you again,’ he said.

Desire flared all over me and I had to concentrate on not shifting in my seat. The pressure on my pussy would only make the need worse. It was my turn to make an odd noise.

I caught him grinning. Brat.

I’ll even cop to feeling a tad let down, even sad, when he pulled up to my house. ‘I know you’re not ready for a bunch of … stuff,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘And I know I’m not. I know we’re both still dented goods. So, I’ll just …’ He didn’t finish. Simply leaned in and kissed me, holding my shoulders hard. Real or imagined, every place his teeth had touched me throbbed when he gripped me.

‘Wow.’ I sat back, my lips tingling. ‘Thanks for dinner and … the bondage, I guess.’

We both burst out laughing and I felt a weight lift from my chest. We were good. We were both really fucked up people and we had no real ties but we were good. There was a chemistry and an energy and at least, an understanding.

It was a start.

I leaned in, kissed him once more, feeling like a teenager again. Because I wanted to. Feel that jolt and feel that youth and the sharp burst of joy in my chest.

‘Thanks,’ I said again.

‘I’ll be gone three days. Be safe.’

I gave him a mock salute. ‘Yes, Sir!’

He grabbed me by the front of my shirt, twisted it, hauled me in and kissed me. ‘Better believe it. And you do realise how very nice I’m being by letting you loose tonight, right? I am not a man to show my cards easily. I showed you most of my hand tonight.’

I nodded. Unsure of what to say. ‘I’m … progressing,’ I whispered.

‘Me, too,’ he said. ‘Because apparently, you fuck with my head. Big time.’

I scattered before I could change my mind. When the truck pulled off, tossing white streaks along my windows, I shut the front door. I peered through the window to see if the barn looked like anyone was moving. I saw nothing. I thought I saw the potting shed door move and possibly a light, but when I looked again, nothing.

Nerves.

I had to shake off the night, because I was feeling something ridiculously close to … happiness? Satisfaction? I didn’t know but I couldn’t afford to get close yet. I wasn’t even that far from what had happened with Phil.

Dropping my clothes in a pile on the way, I slipped into the bathroom, turned on the shower and lowered the window blind. As an afterthought I locked the door and climbed into the shower. Fifteen minutes later I was in batik leggings, a tank top and yes, no shit, Shepherd’s hoodie.

The house temperature had dropped even more. I considered a fire or turning on the heat but going the lazy route, I simply pulled on some thick wool socks.

I tugged the hoodie ties and whispered, ‘We have to stop meeting this way, Mr Hoodie.’

I curled onto the sofa and put the TV on some cooking show. Dialling Annie, I had a moment of homesickness and then she answered yelling, ‘Goddamn it, Bud, it’s a rat. Just kill the thing! Hello?’

‘Wow, I was feeling homesick and now … not so much.’

‘Kid! How are things?’

‘Good.’ I gave her a brief rundown of my night and then asked about her kids and her boyfriend, Toby.

‘That no good son of a gun. He’s a pain in my ass but he’s good.’

Bright white-blue light backlit my windows and I sighed. ‘I’m going to have to go in a moment. We’re having another lightning storm here.’

‘Really? We haven’t seen rain or anything since before you left,’ Annie said.

‘Maybe it follows me,’ I laughed. But maybe it did. One of my patented waves of gloominess rolled over me and I rode it out. ‘Just kidding. Anyway, I just wanted to say hi. Everyone behaving?’

‘Well, haven’t seen Stan since you left. No word on Phil. Someone said he left town. Don’t know if it’s true or not.’ She sounded unsure of telling me but truth be told, I didn’t care a lick about Phil or him leaving town.

The storm got louder and I said, ‘Real fast, did Rachel have the baby?’ Rachel was a single mom-to-be who called the boarding house home. We’d thrown her a baby shower before I left for the lake.

‘Not yet, but soon. She is ready to pop, that’s for sure.’ There was a pause. ‘Damn it all. We have a rat in the house, hon and I–’

‘I know, I can hear. You take care, Annie. Call soon.’

‘Love,’ she said.

‘Love,’ I replied.

Something slammed on the side of the house and I hurried to the window. All I saw was dark and rain speckles and more flares of light.

‘You had to be all brave. You had to be all lone wolf type person,’ I growled to myself.

Nan’s “bar” held a whole slew of bottles. I chose some rum and a high ball glass. ‘Drink anyone?’ I asked.

‘Why yes,’ I answered. ‘Hope there’s lime.’ I paused. ‘Damn, Nan, is there lime?’

I truly needed to get an animal to share my house. I’d look less crazy.

Another bang and the lights flickered. Rain hit the side of the house sounding like a million ping pong balls. I opened the fridge thinking
do not panic
but feeling a bit frantic anyway. I’d never been afraid in storms before but that was in much smaller houses usually with other people in them.

I’d never truly been alone. But for now.

There was lime juice in the door. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Thank you bar gods.’

I assembled a nice rum and cola and found some cheese crackers in the pantry. Getting myself situated on the sofa involved shoving my feet between the frame and the cushion, sipping my drink and nibbling crackers.

The scent of Shepherd wafted off his jacket and I caught myself inhaling deeply to capture as much as I could.

There was another loud bang and then a shuffle by the front door. Fear streaked through my gut and up into my chest. Then I got pissed.

‘Right!’ I yelled in case the boogie man outside heard me. I stalked to a stack of my moving stuff, yet to be unpacked from the trip. The pile leaned precariously against the wall below the loft steps. I rummaged until I found it and then took a practice swing.

‘Hello, Louis. How have you been?’ I took another swing with the Louisville Slugger and tried to decide. Front or back.

Another rustling at the front door decided it for me and I didn’t let myself think. Thinking would mean fear and second guessing myself. I took four running steps, unlocked the door and threw it open. Brandishing the baseball bat I yelled, ‘What the fuck!’

Adrian took three big steps back and damn near fell down the porch steps. ‘Jesus fucking Christ, Tuesday. What is wrong with you?’

He was soaked through, looking like a drowned rat. Anger burned hot in my face and my stomach. My fingers twitched on the wooden handle.

‘Look, I know we fucked. I know maybe I gave you the wrong idea. But–’

‘I thought I saw something,’ he cut me off.

‘What?’

But being rude and on edge, I stepped out into the rain instead of letting him in.

‘I wasn’t sure because … ya know …’ He threw his hands up, rain flattening his hair. ‘The Apocalypse is here!’

‘Where was it?’

‘Around the side and around the back. But I just circled the whole house, and FYI a big branch hit the side of the house … and me.’

‘Sorry,’ I muttered. That must have been what I heard.

‘But nothing,’ Adrian finished. ‘So, before you beat me with a hunk of wood, I’m going to go put on some warm clothes and look at internet porn.’

Anger made his eyes narrow and his lips thin. He nodded with tight politeness and stomped away.

‘Thanks,’ I said, barely audible above the rain.

Back inside, I shook myself off, and considered changing. Truth be told, the rain and damp had brought the smell out of the hoodie even more. I’d dry …

I watched through the window as Adrian went into the barn and slid the big door shut. The potting shed, from this angle, appeared closed and locked and innocent.

So what the hell was going on?

I made it an hour – an hour later into the night – an hour later into boring TV. And another furtive sound slithered through my big home and I snapped. I turned everything off and pulled on some boots. I couldn’t find my damn umbrella so I used a garbage bag from Nan’s pantry. I locked the house, put the key in my pocket and took off running.

There was a final huge flash of lightning and when I turned I swore I saw a man shape standing in the darkness.

Nerves? Maybe.

Adrian? Hopefully. At least that would make sense.

Chapter Twenty-four

He was on alert when he ripped his front door open. I could see the stance and the look on his face and the breadth of his chest as he stood to full height, prepared to fight. I almost laughed.

‘Tuesday,’ he said.

‘Sorry,’ I whispered.

‘I can’t hear you,’ he rasped and yanked me inside. ‘Are you hurt? Are you OK?’

‘I am … a pussy,’ I said. It was only then that I realised I had the bat with me.

Shepherd took it from me gently and put it by the front door which he locked and bolted. ‘I doubt that. But are you OK?’

‘I changed my mind,’ I said.

‘Did you?’ He cocked an eyebrow and almost smiled at me.

‘I did. Can I stay here? I’m spooked. I admit it! I’m spooked and there was lightning and noises and then Adrian and–’

‘Adrian what?’

I explained. ‘I think it’s harmless. I believe him. He probably saw what … a bear?’

‘Doubtful. But in this light it could have been anything. Or nothing. Or he just wanted an excuse to talk to you.’

Shepherd pulled me in with one big arm and I felt the press of his biceps to my cheek. He kissed the top of my head. ‘Want a drink?’

‘No.’

‘Want dry clothes?’

‘No.’

I was shivering but his arms around me made me feel much more stable. And now that I was here, I knew what I wanted.

‘I was off to bed. Early morning drive to the airport tomorrow. You want the spare room or to be in my bed?’

Lust marched up my spine when he uttered “in my bed”. I nodded. ‘With you,’ I said. Wanting him so much more than I already had today. And tonight. And since the moment I laid eyes on him.

He led me upstairs. A nightlight was plugged in low on the wall right above the baseboard in the hallway. Shepherd took me to the main room and I saw he had a balcony off his room, too. The view would be the great room down below. But for now the room was dark barring camera light flashes of lightning through the skylight.

‘Come on. Get warm.’

Off came the leggings and the hoodie and the tank. I stood before him naked and he pressed a kiss to my belly. ‘Now I’m warm.’ I slid my fingers into his thick hair and rubbed the pads of my fingertips along his scalp.

Shepherd looked up at me, kissed my bare stomach once more and slid my arm back in his hoodie. Then the other. When he zipped it up I was a bizarre mixture of confused, hurt and offended.

‘But–’ I shook my head, catching myself. I would not beg him to have sex with me. That was ridiculous. I could get Reed or Adrian or … wow. How quickly I reassured myself with conquests.

‘Come on. Get in here and get warm. And calm. Don’t be mad.’ He pushed his bulk back into the huge bed – it had to be a King size and patted the bare spot.

I crawled in next to him. Letting him cover me. Letting him drop a huge arm across me and spoon up behind me.

‘Don’t be offended, Tuesday,’ he whispered into my ear and chuckled softly.

It had been a confusing night.

‘I’m not,’ I said. Both of us knew I was lying.

‘Sometimes the sexiest foreplay is to do nothing. Let me just hold you. But I promise.’ He nipped the back of my neck and my pussy flared with heat and moisture. That fast. That easy. His hard cock pressed to my bottom and I wondered why it was again that we weren’t fucking right now.

‘I promise you I’ll have you again before I go,’ Shepherd finished. ‘Now get some sleep.’

‘Yeah. That’ll happen,’ I sighed.

I was slightly surprised to feel myself drifting when I did. Even more surprised to feel the bump and crush of a body a few hours later.

Acid green numbers showed me the time: 2.03 and I blinked. Shepherd was splayed against me, his breathing deep and even. I was sure he was asleep until his lips touched the back of my neck, spiking my nipples, stealing my breath.

Teeth scraped where lips had been and he pulled me into him, covering me a bit more with his body. Heat baked into me even as a trembling shiver racked me. I exhaled loudly and then sucked in a breath when his hands cupped my breasts through the sweatshirt material. He pinched my hard nipples and worked his lips lower under my hair, along my shoulder.

‘Are you awake?’ I asked dumbly. Then I grinned at myself in his dark room. The storm had passed.

‘Nope. These are sleep advances.’

‘Me too,’ I said, gasping. There was a rush of cool air as he kicked off the covers and shoved up his hoodie. He kissed the line of my spine, fingers smoothing along my ass as I pressed my face into his bed. It smelled like him, everywhere – I sucked in as much air as I could. ‘I am totally asleep.’

His mouth touched my right ass cheek and I moaned. His tongue was a hot streak on warm flesh. He held my upper thighs flush as he tongued secret patterns over the skin of my bottom.

‘Spread your legs a little,’ he said but he didn’t give me the chance. His big hand separated my legs with ease.

His face pressed to the place in between and I felt his tongue on my back hole. I tensed for a moment but he slid a finger into me and flexed it while working that tongue again. ‘Relax. I’m not going to do that.’

I relaxed.

‘Not tonight,’ he said and a fear shiver shook me. But it was a good feeling. That forbidden dirty wish that I knew I’d let him make come true if it came to that in the future. He was the first man I’d even consider letting go there.

The thought fled my mind when his tongue continued to circle my hole, breaking only to bite the plump flesh of my ass. A second finger joined the first inside my cunt, flexing and thrusting and working me to a frenzy. Getting me going to the point that I could barely stay still. Constantly trying to shift and move under him despite his strong hold on the backs of my thighs pinning me down.

When I thought I’d start babbling he pulled me up on my hands and knees, posing me like his own personal doll. Which only served to make me wetter and want him worse. I was powerless in his grip, bent to his will, doing his bidding – and it was good. I did not need a baseball bat here. I just needed to surrender.

I heard him searching in the dark and I whispered. ‘Twice might as well be three times.’ Meaning without a condom. There was some secret thrill in letting him take me bare. Letting him shove into me with nothing between us but breath and need.

He groaned and I barely heard him even in the deafening silence of the country when he said, ‘Just saying that to me makes me almost lose it.’

I pushed my ass back toward him, opening my body, inviting him in. Another groan and then the marble-smooth, hot tip of his cock as he ran it along my juiced opening.

‘Hurry,’ I said, surprising myself.

‘Shh,’ he answered, going slower. Playing me. Priming me.

‘Shepherd,’ I sighed.

He drove into me swiftly. I didn’t see it coming. One moment he was lulling me and the next he was taking him. Hard.

I dropped my head to the mattress, steeling myself with my forearms as he gripped my hips hard and fucked me. Then he froze and I made a desperate surprised sound. Shepherd arched over me, reaching under me to find and pinch my nipple. It was a rough, but perfectly executed, pinch that made my cunt ripple around him.

He groaned and I sighed and then he was inching back into me, lubricated by my ridiculous arousal. I couldn’t recall ever being so turned on – ever being so pliable. Moving back, I took him as much as I could, as much as he’d allow. He still had a death grip on the flare of my hips.

Shepherd laughed softly and then his movements were inching me across the bed. My head banged the wall a bit and he rasped ‘Touch yourself, Tuesday. Rub one off for Shepherd.’

Christ. So dirty. So bad. So crude. So fucking perfect.

I did it. I found my body slippery and wet already from our coupling and my clit was a hard little knot under my fingertips. I pressed it once and pleasure unwound in my cunt like a long warm ribbon.

‘Oh,’ I said.

‘Yes, oh,’ he echoed, his voice barely controlled. ‘Do it!’

His fingers tightened, his voice grew deeper. Again he found one hard nipple with his fingers and he pinched it into a painful point of flesh. The perfect amount of discomfort bled into the firm circles I ground out on my clit and I was crying. Tears streaking my face as I came – harder than I could recall. Even with him.

My visions sparkled with phantom light and he said, ‘Tuesday. Baby. Fuck.’ And that was that. He held me tight, not letting me move as he made one final thrust and spilled.

Then I was sobbing for real. Not crying from my orgasm or the shock of it. This was coming from a much deeper release.

‘Do you need me to stay?’ he asked in the dark, pulling me to him.

I thought of his work and his income and his mission. I thought of my embarrassment and how I felt laid bare and exposed and silly. I thought of working the diner during the cluster fuck that seemed to come with the Apple Festival and how I’d be busy. I thought of how it wasn’t safe to want or need something like security from someone. How the last time I’d done it, I’d had to resort to a baseball bat and fleeing the home.

‘No, I’m fine. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,’ I said.

He smoothed my hair and kissed my head and wrapped around me. I wasn’t too eager for morning to come. I wasn’t too eager to be independent in the morning light.