Resisting Her (17 page)

She made coffee and scrambled eggs, adding a
palmful of shredded cheese they way he liked it. Just as the toast
popped from the toaster, Cole emerged from the bedroom, his hair
rumpled like a little boy’s. It did funny things to Savannah’s
stomach. She wanted to rake her hands through that hair, and plant
a kiss on his mouth. Instead she stood there watching him.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” he asked, running a
hand across his hair, though his attempt at smoothing it was
pointless. Eight hours of sleep had styled it for him. None of his
attempts would change that.

“I was about to. Breakfast is ready.”

He settled in at a bar stool while Savannah
poured him a cup of coffee and placed the steaming mug in front of
him.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

She knew from experience he’d be worthless
until he had drank at least half a cup. She took her time plating
his breakfast, allowing him to enjoy his coffee in silence. He
placed he napkin across his lap and met Savannah’s eyes as she set
the plate down in front of him.

“You’re welcome.” She busied her hands,
adding some eggs to her own plate before joining him at the island.
She could smell his manly scent — a mix of his spicy aftershave, a
hint of soap and something else that was uniquely Cole. She hated
the way it made her belly flutter and her fingers stumble over her
task. But she managed to lower her plate to the counter
successfully and settled on the stool next to him.

They ate in silence and Savannah was
grateful. Cole was introspective and quiet, and it was times like
this she found herself wondering what else she didn’t know about
this man. Her mind drifted to Cole’s disappearances on Sunday
afternoons. She was curious, but she hadn’t come right out and
asked him. She was grateful for Cole and everything he’d done for
her. Somehow she knew he would tell her eventually, when he was
ready. Until then, she would force that from her mind and move
forward with her life. She wouldn’t bombard Cole with questions,
not when he’d been so gentle and careful with her past. And she
wouldn’t let her past sabotage her chance at a happy future.

After breakfast, Savannah wordlessly scooped
Cuddles up into her arms and rocked the puppy silently against her
chest. Unwilling in that moment to go to Cole for comfort, like she
instinctually wanted to, she instead settled for the sweet puppy’s
affections. She wanted Cole to wrap her in his arms and kiss away
her pain. But he remained seated at the island, stabbing at his
breakfast like he was thinking just as hard as she was.

As badly as Savannah wanted to believe she
was healed, whole again, she knew it wasn’t true. She still had
occasional nightmares about living at the compound, about Dillon
coming after her like he’d promised. And she still dreamed about
her mom’s deadly aneurysm, waking teary and shaking. She’d push
those thoughts away, burying the ache, and nestle closer into
Cole’s arms those nights. That was the past, and she wouldn’t let
it hurt her. In her waking hours, her fear was different. So acute
she could reach out and touch it. She was afraid of being alone.
She wanted Cole to notice her like a man should, take her in his
arms, make her feel desired, whole again. But each time she tried
to show him what she needed, tempt him by curling her body around
his, as if to provide him a hint of what she craved, he’d stiffen
as though he was in pain and bark out an excuse to remove her
hands. His rejection was slowly ruining her, causing her to wonder
why she didn’t fit in anywhere — why she wasn’t wanted.

Perhaps if she could break down his barrier,
she could show Cole how good they could be together. It might not
change anything, but maybe it would. Maybe he would finally see how
much she cared for him and admit he had feelings for her too.

This was a stupid idea.

Cole peeked over at Savannah, wondering if
she could sense his anxious mood, but she didn’t seem to suspect a
thing. She watched the traffic out the passenger window and hummed
along to the radio.

He’d gotten her out of the house on the
pretext of taking her out for a birthday lunch. It wasn’t a
complete lie. Lunch would be involved, but that wasn’t the
focus.

When he parked in front of the roller rink,
he glanced at Savannah

She sat up straighter and stared at the
building, eyebrows raised in surprise. “Cole?”

Cole hopped out of the truck and opened her
door. “Just come on.”

She accepted his hand, letting him pull her
from the car. “But what are we doing here?”

“You’ll see.” He pressed his mouth into a
line as the overwhelming desire to grin like an idiot struck him.
He paid for their admission and led a very wide-eyed and confused
Savannah through the skating rink.

The lights inside the rink were dimmed, and
flashes of blues and greens sparkled across the polished wood
floor, bathing the skaters in color as they whirled by. Pop music
drowned out all conversation and kept Savannah quiet as she took in
their surroundings. She’d stopped walking to watch a line of
skaters fly past her on the way to the rink. Cole grabbed her hand
to urge her on. He led Savannah to the back party-room he’d rented.
Marissa had coordinated most of the details, but it was his idea to
throw her a party. When Marissa mentioned the skating party she had
when she was ten, Cole latched on to the idea. He liked that he
could give her a childhood experience she’d missed out on, and
maybe even teach her to skate. He also thought it was the perfect
venue to reunite Savannah with the children she still thought about
daily. He didn’t know if Savannah would break down at seeing
everyone, but hoped they’d at least be happy tears. He wanted her
to enjoy her birthday, not have a sob-fest on his hands. But her
hesitation and sudden silence had him wondering if he’d made the
right call.

With one hand still holding Savannah’s, he
opened the door to the private room. They were greeted by an
explosion of pink. Balloons, crepe paper streamers, a happy
birthday sign strung from the ceiling, and a platter of pink
frosted cupcakes sat on the table.

“Surprise!” A dozen or so voices squealed in
unison.

Savannah’s mouth gaped, no sound escaping as
she took in the little faces in front of her. Then she dropped to
her knees and released an exhale, like she’d been holding her
breath for weeks.

The children ran to her, overwhelming her and
knocking her back as they climbed into her waiting arms. Savannah’s
smile was as big as he’d ever seen it and silent tears leaked from
the corners of her eyes.

He knew it was slightly risky tracking down
the families with children, sending them an invite to Savannah’s
birthday party, but the risk had been worth it — especially seeing
Savannah so happy. He’d promised to pay their admission and skate
rentals, and almost everyone had agreed to come. Watching their
reunion made the cost well worth it.

Once Savannah was freed from the pile on the
floor, she launched herself into Cole’s arms, holding him tight, so
tight he couldn’t breathe. No words could adequately express how
much seeing the children meant to her.

He l gently kissed her temple. “Happy
Birthday, Savannah.”

Her mouth curved into a smile and all his
fears about this being a dumb idea dissolved away.

They spent the afternoon skating —well,
wobbling across the slickened floor in rollerblades, which none of
the children or their mothers had used before, and eating pizza and
cupcakes. Cole attempted to teach Savannah to skate; a task made
more difficult with children wrapped around their legs.

By the end of the day, a rosy-cheeked
Savannah said her goodbyes, and exchanged email addresses with
several of the women before following Cole to his car. It seemed
that today had given her some of the closure she needed — the
ability to see with her own eyes that everyone was alive and well.
The deep satisfaction glowing on her features was all the thank you
Cole needed.

Savannah returned home from her first day of
work to find Cole home earlier than usual. and stationed in the
kitchen, over a pot of spaghetti.

“Hey there,” he grinned, wiping his hands on
a dishtowel before coming to greet her. “How was it?” He tipped her
chin up, scrutinizing her expression.

She threw her arms around his midsection,
burying her face against his chest. “It was amazing. I was so
nervous at first, even to make small talk with the girls that work
there, but being with the babies all day, changing diapers, rocking
them, giving them bottles, playing…it was so fun!”

Cole rocked back on his heels and smiled at
her. “Good.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’m proud of
you, Savannah.”

His words did more to sooth her soul than he
could have known. No one had ever told her that before. She
remained immobile, looking into his dark eyes, soaking up the
attention. After several seconds though, Cole hadn’t looked away,
and she grew anxious under his intense stare. She licked her lips
and took a step back, her eyes darting for the kitchen, needing to
be anywhere but on his. “Did you, um, cook?” she asked, thoroughly
confused.

He laughed, easy and carefree. “Yeah, I
tried. It’s your first day of work, so I, uh wanted to surprise
you.”

“Oh.”

He led the way to the kitchen and Savannah
dutifully followed. “It’s just pasta and tomato sauce, don’t get
too excited.”

“It smells great. I think we have garlic
bread in the freezer. And I could whip up a salad.” She started for
the fridge.

His hands on her waist stopped her. “Nope.
This is my plan. Out.” He gave her a playful shove toward the
dining room. “I got this.”

Savannah laughed but obeyed. “Okay.” She held
up her hands. “I’ll just go change, if that’s okay. I have spit-up
from at least three different babies on my shirt.”

Cole chuckled as she made her way into the
guest bedroom. Once inside, she stripped herself of the jeans and
long-sleeved T-shirt she’d worn to work, and after a perusal of her
closet, she decided on a quick shower. The pasta was still boiling,
so she had a few minutes at least.

She twisted her hair into a messy knot and
felt the temperature of the water. It was warm and inviting.
Savannah stepped into the glass-enclosed shower, grabbed her loofa,
and poured a glob of her jasmine-scented body wash onto it. She
scrubbed her entire body twice, enjoying the water. She smiled at
the memory of being the only one able to soothe the fussy, teething
Bella at work today. She’d always had a special gift with infants.
They were as comfortable with her as she was with them. Savannah
washed her face, scrubbing away the day, before turning around to
feel the water beat between her shoulder blades. Hmm. That felt
nice. It turned out, rocking and holding babies all day was hard
work. But satisfying.

Savannah turned off the water, dried herself
with one of the oversized bath sheets Cole used for towels and then
dressed in her favorite pajamas — a pair of shorts and one of
Cole’s worn T-shirts.

She returned to the kitchen after freeing her
hair and combing out the snarls. “Mmm. Smells great in here.”

Cole was just plating the pasta and thick
slices of garlic bread when she approached the dining room table.
He hadn’t taken her suggestion of a salad, but that was okay, this
was plenty as it was. “Sit down.” He gestured, pulling out her
seat.

Savannah obeyed, easing down into the seat.
“Thank you for cooking,” she murmured, surveying the food in front
of her. It looked delicious and smelled even better.

“Wait. One more thing.” Cole returned
carrying a bottle of red wine in the crook of his elbow and two
wine glasses. Savannah eyed him curiously, but he just shrugged.
“What? It’s a special occasion.”

Her mouth twitched with a smile as he poured
them each a glass of the ruby-colored wine. “For you.” He placed
the glass in front of her.

“Thank you.” It all felt sophisticated and
elegant, having Cole wait on her, and she giggled at the pleasure
in this moment.

His eyes flashed to hers. “What?”

“Nothing,” she replied, fixing on a straight
face.

Cole tempted her to respond, his dark eyes
locked on hers for a moment too long, before he finally pulled out
his own chair and sat beside her. “So you liked the daycare?” he
asked around a bite of garlic bread.

“I loved it. It’s so fun watching them learn
and play at this age. And then when they get older, watching them
grow and discover new things. I think this is the perfect job for
me. It’s basically what I did at the compound, but I never got paid
for it.”

He nodded, taking a sip of his wine. “Then
I’m happy for you.”

Why did he sound so cold? And why didn’t his
smile reach his eyes? He’d been the one to encourage her to get a
job, and now that she had one she liked, he was acting all strange
about it. She stuffed a big bite of pasta into her mouth, realizing
she was famished and not all that concerned with acting lady-like
around him. A healthy sip of red wine followed. Hmm. Sweeter than
she expected. So he’d cooked, and opened a bottle of wine? Big
deal. It didn’t make him acting all weird okay.

She ignored his strange mood and relayed the
specifics of her day, the regimented schedule at the daycare: nine
a.m. breakfast, then a diaper change, followed by morning nap, then
playtime till lunch, and then the schedule repeated itself- eat,
diapers, nap, play, before the parent pickup. She laughed just
thinking about it. It had been a full and busy day. But fun.

“Do you want kids?” she asked, placing her
fork beside her cleared plate.

His eyes flashed with alarm. “Never really
thought about it, why?”