Resist (London) (19 page)

I opened my mouth to, well, I don’t know, apologise? Ask her to help me understand? I couldn’t tell you, wouldn’t matter anyway because she stood, brushed her hands along her thighs and spoke again.

“I actually don’t want to talk to you anymore Mase. I’m flummoxed. I let you in, explain to you exactly why I am how I am, tell you the secret that not even my lifelong best friends know, and you throw it away like it’s nothing. You made me feel safe, like I was okay to share with you. Don’t worry pretty boy, I’ll never make the same mistake again.”

And with her parting words hitting me like a ton of bricks, she left.

Well done Mason...well fucking done. Shithead

Chapter Fourteen

Harper

The texts woke me up the next morning. Great start to the day.

Tay:
What’s going on? Where did Mase go?

Jax: Harp, can you phone me when ur up? Need to speak to you about Mase.

Ruben: I’m on my way, get up.

The last message was sent ten minutes before, so I knew Ruben would be there any minute. I jumped out of bed but didn’t make it any further than the bathroom when I heard a banging at the front door. I looked down at myself and decided that I didn’t give a shit if I had hardly any clothes on. If Ruben was gonna come and give me shit, then he could uncomfortable at the same time.

I opened the door and stumbled back a couple of steps when Ruben barged straight through.

“Come on in why don’t you.” I muttered, sarcastically.

“Don’t give me any shit Harper. What’d you say to him?”

“Who?”

I was stalling. I knew who.

“Mason! What did you say to him?”

“That’s nothing to do with you!”

“It fucking is! He’s missing!”

Well the stopped me. Missing? What the hell?

“What do you mean he’s missing?”

He rolled his eyes at me and I watched as his hands curled into fists at his side. It wasn’t threatening, he wasn’t going to hit me,
he was trying to control himself.

And if the colour creeping up his cheeks was anything to judge by, he was failing at that.

“Exactly what I said! No one has seen him since he came here yesterday. He phoned me last night and said he had some
business
to take care of in Birmingham and that’s it! Nothing! No word from him since, to anyone.”

I had a really
really
bad feeling about why he’d gone there. I was praying with everything I had that I was wrong though.

I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

“So he had business there, he’s probably busy. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

Wrong thing to say.
I knew it immediately.

“
You don’t see what the big deal is?!
” He hissed.

“God!
You...he...I don’t even know what the hell he sees in you! You’ve got him wrapped around your little finger and you love every damn second of it. You’d be lost if you didn’t have him following you around like a little lap-dog. Honestly, he could do better. He
has
done better in the past. I actually want to know, what is it? Did you drug him? Are you a fucking witch? Putting spells on him? I have no idea, but whatever the hell it is, it’s up to you to stop it.
You
need to fix this. It’s
your
fault to begin with and it’s
you
who’s gonna find out what the fuck is going on and why.”

There was a lot to
pissed about right there.

First off, who the fuck did he think he was to put me down? He’s nothing special. Well okay, he actually is something special, but I was angry so I didn’t care about that. Secondly, he must have been pretty damn angry too seeing as he was swearing at me.

Ruben didn’t need to swear to get his point across, he usually just used his brain and put you down with facts. Then I realised, it wasn’t anger, or not totally anyway. No, this was pure fear.

I wasn’t so angry after that. He was scared for his brother. They have this weird connection, more than blood, more than loyalty, and he clearly didn’t know how to react when his brother went off without any explanation, other than
business.

“Ruben, he’ll be fine...” I started, trying to reassure him.

Fuck, I literally just couldn’t say the right thing in his eyes.

“Why are you so delusional? This is
n’t about me needing to know he’s okay. You don’t know that for sure anyway, because you’re not with him. But no, this is about the fact that I know, I
know
that whatever he’s gone to do, you pushed him to it. If he does something that is going to get him in trouble, or something he’s going to end up regretting, then I swear on all that’s holy, I’ll never forgive you.”

He wasn’t finished.

“You’ve got secrets, you’ve got issues, we can all see it. Except that people are so damn worried about hurting your stupid feelings that no one says anything. Well you don’t deserve that protection now, so I’m done with abiding by it. My thinking is that he pushed you. I think he pushed you and he scared you. You don’t like to feel scared, you’re a control freak and I think you lashed out. Not with violence, no, with words. I think whatever you said to him has made him flip. I think you’ve said or done something that you wish you hadn’t done, and he wishes he hadn’t have known. Am I close?”

I don’t think he took a breath throughout his entire speech, but I was frozen. I didn’t want to answer him. Apparently, he didn’t need a verbal response anyway.

“Exactly, I’d say I’m pretty damn close there. So the question is, Harper, what are you going to do to fix this?”

“It’s not my job to fix anything!” I declared, probably not sounding anywhere near as strong as I wanted to.

He kicked a foot towards the sofa.

“Um...”

“Sit.”

“Um...”

Well, not that I ever usually do what people tell me to, but his face and his tone suggested it wouldn’t be a good thing to argue with him on it.

I sat.

He didn’t. He started pacing the length of my lounge, meaning he took about three steps, turned, and took three steps back.

“I need you to listen to me. This is his
life
we’re talking about here. He will not give up on you, not really, he loves you! So the choice is yours to make, either cut him out all together, or give him all of you. That’s it. There’s no middle ground here. Do you love him?”

His eyes didn’t leave
mine, he was watching me I knew, to see if I’d lie.

Damn!

“I...um...yes. But that’s...” I was cut off.

“That’s everything.
Game playing. That’s what you’re doing. If you love him, and you just said you did, then why are you fucking him around?”

“I’m not fucking anyone around! Ruben you’re way off base here. I haven’t done anything wrong! I could understand why he would be angry if I led him on, but that didn’t happen! I was straight with him from day
one, it was his choice to keep chasing me! Yeah, I love him, it’s impossible not to really, but nothing’s changed! That’s just the way it is, so no, I’m not going to do anything about this. Maybe then you’ll all realise that I mean what I fucking say.”

He stared at me with his jaw teeth tightly clenched. I wasn’t going to back down, I really was doing what I thought was best for everyone.

“Alright, if that’s how you really feel, then I’ll leave, and I’ll find him myself. But I’ll say this, it won’t take long for you to realise that you might think you’re protecting yourself, or only doing what’s best for you, but you’re not. It’s almost like you’re trying so hard to do the opposite of what anyone tells you to do, you’re not taking the time to think about what you’re missing out on. I can’t wait actually, because I honestly thought I could talk some sense in to you. Now I just think you’re too stubborn for your own good. So yeah, I can’t wait until the day that Mase meets someone who appreciates what they’ve got when they have him. You never deserved him in the first place, and you definitely don’t now. When that day comes, and you can’t bear to see him happy with someone else, I’ll remind you of this exact conversation. Later.”

And then he was gone.

As quick as he came.

I hated his parting words. But I
still
wouldn’t let him break me.

I did however, think about phoning Mason. I had a really
bad feeling that he’d regretted his words yesterday and was going to do something about them. I couldn’t let that happen.

I rang once, no answer. Again, no answer...
Again
, still no answer.

That pretty much confirmed it for me. If he was avoiding me, he was doing something he knew I wouldn’t like.

I thought about just leaving him to do his thing, letting him get whatever he needed to get out of his system. Maybe that’s what he needed to do to make himself feel better, but it definitely wouldn’t help me.

My phone buzzed in my hand and then I got a text. A text that I really thought would change my life forever.

Mason:
Really sorry. Your dad’s dead.

My heart just stopped beating. Of all the possible scenarios I had running through my mind,
that
was not one of them. He’d killed my dad.

Oh my fucking god, he’d killed my dad!!!!

I didn’t even think, just panicked. I couldn’t let him get in trouble for that. He obviously wasn’t thinking clearly. Thoughts were racing through my mind, I really never thought my stupid stubbornness could drive anyone that fucking crazy. Was I really that bad? I just didn’t know.

What I did know, was that even if he didn’t exactly know what he was talking about, Ruben was right. It was
my
job to fix this now.

Running, panting, realising I was a hell of a lot less fit than I thought I was, I raced to the club hoping that that’s where I’d find Jax seeing as no other fucker seemed to be answering their phone.

I went straight to the back entrance, knowing that if he was in, he’d use the same entrance as the staff. I aimed for the doors and ran...

Straight...in...
to...them.

Mother fucker!

I stumbled back a few steps but managed to stop myself from landing on my arse, I held my hands to my face and checked first that I hadn’t knocked out any teeth out before leaning my head back and pinching the bridge of my nose to stop the bleeding. I’m the only person I know who could nearly knock herself out running into a locked fucking door!

My whole face was throbbing, so I groaned and bashed my fist against the wall in frustration.

It’s really not a very good idea to punch a brick wall either.

Fuck sake!

I slumped to the ground and leaned my head against the wall. I knew then that nothing was going to go my way that day. How much back luck could one girl have in the space of a few hours?

I heard the crunching of gravel and looked up.
Jax. Finally!

I jumped up and had to put my hand on the wall to steady myself first.

Whoa! Apparently running into a door really fucks with your head!

“Where the
fuck have you been? Why are you not answering your phone? Why isn’t anyone else answering their phone? God damn it, where the hell is everyone when I need them?”

And breathe.

He raised an eyebrow at me, or at least at my incessant questions.

“I’ve been...
busy
.” He smirked,
urgh!
And then asked, “Why, what’s up? And why are you sitting on the floor with blood on your face?”

He reached down to help me up and I ignored his questions. Instead, asking another of my own.

“We need to go get Mase”

He frowned, but answer
ed, “He went to Birmingham.”

“I know he went to Birmingham! I’m saying we need to go there, and we need to go there NOW! Do you know
why
he went?”

Jax hesitated before responding
, which told me either he didn’t want to tell me the truth and he was going to lie, or worse, that I wasn’t going to like his answer at all.

“He phoned me
last night, but I didn’t answer and it went to voicemail. He said he needed to fix something and that he was going to Birmingham today to do just that. Now, I know he was with you yesterday, so I’m guessing you can answer that for yourself.”

Holy.
Fucking. Shit.

He’d planned it. He knew exactly what he was doing and he’d
fucking planned to murder my dad? What the fuck was wrong with that man?!