Remember Me Always: A Contemporary Romance (17 page)

I grin at his words.  He always knows how to make me feel better.  Grabbing the lapels of his jacket, I pull him closer to me.  "What did I do to deserve a great guy like you?" I ask in a hushed whisper.

His lips softly kiss my neck.  "Must have been something great."  His lips trail kisses along my jaw line until he reaches my lips.  He kisses me passionately, possessively, but it's just not the kiss I want.  He's not the one I want.  And that's why I'll never be able to move on. 
He's not Colton.
  And in all reality and sensibility, I shouldn't even want Colton.  I just wish I could tell my heart to listen to my brain once in a while.

I gently press against Tucker's chest, and he immediately pulls back.  "I had a great time, Penny," he says before taking a step towards the stairs.  "Same time next week?" he asks with a smile.

"Of course."  I watch him walk down the steps, and I feel compelled to stop him.  "Tuck?"

He turns back to look up at me.  "Yeah?"

"I'm going to try to get over Colton.  I promise."  I hesitate before admitting, "It just might take me a little while."

He flashes me a panty-melting smile before saying, "A thousand years, Penny.  I've got time."  He winks before turning around and walking to his SUV.

My hand fans my face that suddenly feels very hot.  I'm definitely developing some deep feelings for Tucker, and I have no doubt that someday soon we're going to make it past the heavy petting part of our relationship.  I'm a grown woman after all, not a horny teenager on prom night.  I need to face facts and get my shit together.

However, that's easier said than done.

CHAPTER 14

COLTON

IT'S BEEN FORTY-EIGHT hours since I slept with Penny, and every time I close my eyes I swear I can still smell her sweet skin and feel her soft curves in my hands.  After my attempt at tryin' to rid her of my senses with a night with Ruby Sue, I realize it's not gonna be that damn easy.  Once again I couldn't get it up for Ruby, and I'm pretty sure she seriously thinks I have some kind of erectile dysfunction.  She even mentioned about goin' to the doctor about
my condition
.  I didn't say anything in response to that.  It's not like I can tell her that Penny is the only one I can seem to get hard over anymore.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.  I've never had this much trouble tryin' to push someone away before.  Usually people just get fed up with my shit and hit the road.  But not Penny.  I don't know how much farther I can push her until she reaches the point of no return.  However, I'm afraid to reach that point.  My mind is split into half wantin' her out of my life and the other half never wantin' to let her go.

I'm so damn confused.

Penny's just finishin' up with her shift and is at the opposite end of the bar from me talkin' with none other than Tucker Hayward.  I always hated that guy, although I never had a real good reason to before.  As I watch him lean over the bar and lean in to whisper sweet nothings into her ear, I feel as if I have every reason in the fuckin' world to hate him now.

"Tucker Hayward has been carryin' a torch for Penny since we were little kids," Buddy remarks.  "He was always waitin' for you two to break it off so he might have a shot."

I look up from my glass of beer and look at my friend.  "Why are you tellin' me this, man?"

Buddy shrugs his shoulders.  "Just thought you'd like to know."  He leans closer and stares me dead in the eye.  "A girl like Penny won't wait forever for you to pull your head out of your ass.  She'll find the next best thing."  He motions towards the end of the bar.  "And Tucker Hayward is the next best thing."

For reasons unknown, my blood is boilin'.  I finish off the rest of my beer and then busy myself by puttin' my dirty glass in the sink and washin' it.  I scrub that glass for what seems like hours before a hand reaches out and halts my movements.  I look up into Penny's stormy eyes, and I almost crumple at the sight.  She's so damn pretty that it hurts to look at her.

"Are you okay, Colt?  You've been washing that glass for, like, twenty minutes now.  I think it's the cleanest mug in the bar," she says, flashin' me a warm smile.

After the way I've treated her, I can't believe she's even talkin' to me.  Despite everything, she's bein' nice to me.  But that's just how Penny is.  She's sweet and kind and forgivin'.  All I know is I don't deserve her kindness.

The pain I'm causin' her eats at me like cancer, and I can't get her out of my head.  She consumes my every thought, and still I can't remember her.  I stare at Penny for a few seconds, my eyes searchin' her face for answers.  If we knew each other for so long and cared about each other so much, then why can't I remember her?  Hell, I can't remember much of anything, but I sure do wish I could remember her.  Those full pink lips curlin' up into a smile do somethin' to my insides, and it feels like butterflies are eruptin' in my stomach.  I want her on top of me again…or under me…or any which way.  I want to push her up against the wall and take her, make her mine.

Distracted by my thoughts, I drop the glass in my hands, and it shatters into the sink.  "Shit," I mutter, draggin' my attention away from her.

"Well, it
was
the cleanest mug in the bar," she quips.  "Let me get that, Colton.  You're going to cut ---."  Our hands both reach for the glass, and she gets her finger stuck on a sharp edge.  "Ouch!"  She snatches her hand back and holds it with the other.

"Let me see," I say, immediately reachin' for her.

She steps back from me and shakes her head.  "You hate the sight of blood."

"Since when?" I ask, confused.  Blood's never bothered me before.

"Since always.  Since we were little kids."  Penny stares at me for a second, her brows furrowin'.  "I have to stop doing that," she whispers I think more to herself than to me.  I know exactly what she meant by that, though.  She's meanin' that I'm not the same person.  A part of me wishes I could be who I was…for her.  But I can't.

I watch as she disappears into the back room.  Followin' close behind, I tell her, "It was my fault, Penny.  Let me help you."

"I don't need your help, Colton.  Just leave me alone.  Please."

I can hear the waver in her voice, and it makes me even angrier that she's playin' this game of bein' the strong, hard woman who doesn't need a man --- doesn't need
me
.  I grab the first aid kit from the wall before she can reach it and open the kit on the desk in my office.  Penny stands at the door, but eventually comes in and takes a seat.

"Let me see," I say again.

She hesitantly opens her hand, and there's a lot of blood.  "Do you need stitches?"

"I don't know.  I don't think so."

I carefully take her hand into mine and rub some cleanin' wipes over her skin.  The blood disappears, and I can see a gash in her pointer finger.  Rummagin' through the kit, I get the necessary things out that I'll need and get to work.  "I'm sorry.  It was my fault you got cut."

She stares down at my motions, but doesn't say a word.

"Sometimes I just get distracted, and I…I lose track of time.  Minutes can feel like seconds or hours.  It all depends on what my brain decides to do at that moment."  I finish bandagin' her finger and say, "There.  Good as new."

I stare at her for a long time while my fingers lightly brush against her palm.  My eyes can't help but linger over her beautiful face.  I can see how I would have fallen for her back then.  Hell, I think I've been fallin' for her ever since she came back into town.

"I have to go, Colt.  Shift's over," she murmurs before gently pullin' away.

I watch her walk out of the room, and I get up to follow her.  I'm in the doorway when I see her settlin' onto a stool right beside Tucker at the bar.  What am I expectin' her to do?  Come runnin' back to me?  Not after what I did.  We had sex, and I stomped all over her fuckin' heart.  Maybe Buddy is right.  Penny won't wait forever.  And at this point I can't even imagine her not bein' in my life.  As much as I push her away, I want to draw her even closer to me that much more.

I scrub a hand down my face and sigh.

I'm totally fucked.

*  *  *  *  *

I'M KILLIN' TIME until Penny and Tucker leave when Buddy steps into my office.  I can't bear to see them together one second longer, so it's best if I just hide out in my office until they're gone.

"Penny's drunk," Buddy announces.

I glance up at him from the newspaper that I'm just pretendin' to read.  "So?"

"So somebody needs to look after her, Colt.  I really don't want to be responsible for someone dyin' of alcohol poisonin' or chokin' on their own vomit in the middle of the night."

"You served her.  You take care of her," I say indifferently and turn my full attention back to the paper.

"I'm not takin' care of her.  I've got work to do, and I have a date tonight with Shelby Rae."  He stands there silently for a few minutes.  When I don't acknowledge him, he says, "Okay.  Fine.  I'll just tell Tucker to take her home.  I'm pretty sure that's what he's plannin' on doin' anyway."  He turns to walk away.

"Wait!" I call, and Buddy hesitates, glancin' at me over his shoulder with an evil grin.  "Tucker is still out there with her?"

"Oh yeah.  Penny's hangin' all over him."  He whistles lowly.  "He's gonna get
laid
tonight," he says, emphasizin' the words loudly.

I stand up quickly, knockin' my chair over in the process.  "Like hell he is," I hiss as I storm out of the office, pushin' past Buddy on my way out.

Buddy is hot on my heels as we walk to the front room.  Just like he said, Penny is hangin' all over Tucker with two empty shot glasses and three empty plastic cups in front of her.  I turn to Buddy.  "Why did you let her drink so much?" I chide.

"I didn't know she was such a lightweight," he says defensively.

I walk over to the Penny and Tucker, seethin'.  "Penny," I say quietly.

She turns to me and smiles, and my heart instantly skips a beat. 
Damn it.

"Barkeep, two more sssshots of tequila, pleassse," she says with slurred words and a giggle.

"I'm not servin' you anymore, Penny."

She pouts, and it's so damn cute that I have to struggle to keep a smile from formin' on my lips.  "Where's Buddy?" she asks.  "He'll ssserve me."

"He ain't servin' you either."

She suddenly grabs Tucker's hand.  "Tucker, do you…do you have a tequila at your houssse?"

He hesitates.  "I have whiskey.  No tequila."

Angrily, I reach across the bar and grab Tucker by his shirt collar.  I haul him up out of his seat until our faces are only an inch apart.  "You can't see that she doesn't need more alcohol?" I hiss at him.

"I wasn't actually going to give her any!" Tucker quickly says defensively.  "I was just answering her question."

Buddy hauls me back over the bar, and I reluctantly release my grip on Tucker's collar.  "Enough, Colt.  Why don't you see that Penny makes it up to her apartment safely?"  He eyeballs Tucker.  "Bar's closed.  Come back another time, Tuck."

Tucker begins to protest, but Buddy glares at him.  Tucker then holds up his hands in defense and nods.  "All right.  Fine."  He turns to Penny and kisses her on the cheek.  "Goodnight, Penny.  I had a great time.  As usual," he says and shoots her a big smile that seems to melt Penny on the spot.

Suddenly, Penny stands and wraps her arms around his neck.  Her pouty lips meet his in a kiss, and I have to look away.  "Me too," she says with a dreamy sigh.

I walk around the bar once Tucker leaves and grab Penny by her hand.  I'm fumin' from their little exchange.  I didn't realize how jealous I would get from seein' Penny with someone else.  Apparently insanely fuckin' jealous.  "Get your purse.  You're goin' home," I say sternly.

She barely has a grip on the handle of her bag before I start pullin' her behind me.  Her heels click rapidly against the floor as she struggles to keep up.  Once we're outside, she pulls back on my grip.  "Wait, Colt.  Wait.  I…I can't walk in these heels very fast," she whines.

I stop walkin' and turn to her.  "Well, maybe you shouldn’t have drank so damn much!" I snap at her.

Her lips pinch into a tight line as she glares at me.  She's smart to not say anything in response.  Frustrated, I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder.  I peel off her high heels and hold them in one hand while my other hand pins down her flailin' legs.  "Put me down!" she screams, poundin' on my back with her tiny fists.

"You're gonna have to do a lot better than that," I tell her, frustratingly, while I ascend the steps to her apartment.

Once we're at the front door, I reach above the doorframe and grab the spare key that only Buddy and I know about.  I unlock the door, walk inside and slowly ease her down into a kitchen chair.  She slumps in the seat while I fill up a tall glass of water at the sink.

"Drink," I demand, settin' the glass in front of her.  "The whole thing."

She scrunches up her nose, but drinks the water anyway without so much as a peep.  Her hair is disheveled and her makeup is smudged, but she never looked more beautiful.

I tear my gaze away from her and pace the kitchen floor as I wait for her to finish.  Then I hold out my hand to her.  She looks at me out from under long golden lashes.  "You're goin' to bed," I state.

She shakes her head, but I grab her hand and haul her up out of the chair.  She loses her balance and crashes against my chest.  The closeness of her is sudden and unexpected, but I feel my arms wrappin' around her, not wantin' to let go.  I stare down at her as she turns her gaze up to meet mine.

"Colt," she whispers softly.  Her fingertips run over the stubble on my jaw.  "I miss you," she says with a hauntingly sad tone.  Her fingertips trail over my lips.  "I miss everything about you.  I miss
us
," she confesses quietly.

I close my eyes and breathe in her soft scent.  She feels so right in my arms.  I get this overwhelmin' feelin' that my heart knows somethin' that I don’t.  I wish I wanted to remember her.

"I've only been with you," she whispers.  "It's only ever been you."  She stares at my lips.  "You were my first and my last.  I didn't even kiss another boy…until Tucker."

My eyes open slowly.  She's kissed Tucker, but they haven't slept together yet. 
Fuck.
  I thought he was gettin' inside her pants after every fuckin' date.  That's why I've been so wound up.  I'm relieved to hear that he hasn't gotten past first base.  I almost laugh out loud at the thought.  Poor bastard doesn't even know what he's missin' out on.