Remember Me (15 page)

My parents called a little after I’d arrived. They wished me well and told me to keep them informed. Actually, my mom said that. My father never got on the phone, but I could hear him bitching in the background.

My sister called shortly afterwards, probably hearing about it from my mother. She told me that she’d gone with Ash to see her father, but had no idea what went on since she made her wait in the car. As curious as I was about the visit, my only concern was on my girlfriend.

Finally, after three hours, her parents showed up. They were dressed in formal wear and acted like me calling them had interrupted something more important than their own child. Aside from wanting to choke the man, I knew we had a common interest to attend to. If anyone could find out what was going on, it would be her father.

Like I assumed, he rushed over to the triage nurse and demanded to be told the condition of his daughter. While she ran into the back, he headed in my direction. I stood up waiting to shake his hand, but he refused. “What did she do now? Did she overdose? I tell ya, for someone that says she can handle being an adult, she’s got a shit way of showing it.”

It was in that moment
I wanted to punch that cocky smirk off of his face.

The nurse broke my stare when she waved him over and led him through the doors that I’d been waiting so long to get through. When she came back I was standing there waiting. “Excuse me, I’d like
to go back now.”

“I’m sorry, sir. The patient’s father has informed me that you aren’t really family. Unfor
tunately, the hospital rules do apply.”

I threw my arms up above my head. “Are you kiddin’ me? She lives with me. I’m the father of her chi
ldren. Please. I don’t get along with her father and neither does she. I just want to be able to see my girlfriend. I’m worried about her and not one person has told me anything. Now please, just tell me somethin’.”

She pulled me to the side where we were a little more private. “I can see that you care about the girl. Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

I stood there, watching her go into the emergency room. Minutes passed and she hadn’t come back out. When I was starting to think she’d forgotten abo
ut me, she came walking up to me.

Her face told me that the news wasn’t good and I immediately felt a knot forming in my throat. “What is it?”

“I’m afraid to tell you that your girlfriend’s in surgery.”

“For what?” A million ideas were rolling through my head.

“A Cerebral Aneurism.”

I felt my knees get weak, overwhelmed with emotions that I’d never felt before. I sank down to the floor, squatting while covering my face with my hands. The nurse bent over an
d placed her hand on my sleeve. “I spoke with the attending nurses and they said that the doctor will know more once the surgery is completed. I’m very sorry for being the bearer of bad news.”

I shook my head unable to even speak. My sweet, beautiful girlfriend was lying in the other room fighting for her life. I’d gone to
elementary school with a kid that dropped dead when we were out at recess. I knew exactly what an aneurism was and what it could do.

At best, they’d gone in to relieve the pressure of the amount of blood in her brain. This wasn’t good and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do anything to make it better. It was out of my hands and that hurt the most.

Most would have expected me to leave, to go home where at least I could be with the twins and feel appreciated. They didn’t understand I couldn’t leave. There was no way in hell that I was going to sit around at home when she was in the hospital, bleeding from her brain.

So I sat.

And I sat.

Waiting and hoping for something; some kind of news that would let me know she was going to be okay. I focused my mind on optimism, unable to accept that it could be so much worse.

After a few more hours I spotted Ashley’s mother outside smoking a cigarette. It was weird seeing her doing it, but at that point I didn’t even care. All I wanted was answers.

She rolled her eyes when she saw me coming. “Shayne, I can’t deal with you right now.”

She’d been crying and her red eyes told me that the news couldn’t be good. “Please. I’ve been here the whole time and nobody will tell me nothin’. I have every right to know.”

She took a drag and looked the other way. “
Look, all we know is that it was an aneurism. She’s been in surgery since we got here.”

“Is she goin’ to pull through?” I had to ask. My heart was being ripped out of my chest and I didn’t know what to do with myself. “Just tell me what they told you.”

She refused to look me in the eye, which could have meant she was emotional, or she couldn’t tell me truth.

“They don’t know, Shayne. The statistics say it’s a fifty-fifty chance. The doctor said that depending on what they find while they are in her head will give him a better idea of the severity.”

I sank down on the curb and covered my face. “This can’t be happenin’.”

I felt her hand on my shoulder as if it were to give me comfort. I didn’t want anything she could offer me. I wanted my girlfriend to be alright. She needed to come walking outside with those beautiful blue eyes and her big smile.

“I’ve got to go back inside. Go home and get some rest. I’ll make sure to call you when we know more.”

I turned toward her with tears of anguish rolling down my cheeks. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere. You do what you gotta do, but I’m not leavin’ this hospital.”

After she left I sat outside alone trying to find my strength to be able to walk back inside. It was difficult being around other people and wearing my heart on my shoulder for everyone to see. I knew that if I saw someone else emotional for their loved one I would lose it completely. This wasn’t an easy task, playing the waiting game when all I could do was sit around and think.

I thought about the last thing she said to me and that made me more upset. She’d ask what she would do with out me. I felt my body moving as the pain devoured every muscle. I’d wasted so much time screwing around with trying to get Lacey back and then dating others that I hadn’t seen what was right in front of me. I’d wasted time that I could have shared with her and now I felt like there was a chance I wasn’t going to get it back.

My phone vibrating in my pocket gathered my attention for a second. It was enough for me to want any type of distraction I could get.

“Hello?”

“It’s me, Ford. You’ve been gone a long time, man. What’s goin’ on?”

I covered my face with one hand while I held the phone with the other. “It’s bad, Ford. It’s so bad. They don’t know. What am I goin’ to do?”

“Slow down, cuz. You’re not makin’ any sense.”

“It’s an aneurism. She’s got a fifty-fifty chance.” I lost it, hearing myself saying the words I never wanted to use for anyone I cared about. Then my mind went to Harley, and how Ford was probably thinking back to that moment too.

“Jesus Christ, are you kiddin’ me right now?”

“No.” I knew he could hear me through the phone, so broken up over it that I didn’t even care if he knew.

I could hear him covering the phone with his hand to talk to Sky. It didn’t bother me. “Shayne, the twins are real good. Sky, Lacey, and your sister are all here. You take as long as you need to. We’ve got this end taken care of.”

“Thanks, Ford. Thanks for everything. I know I don’t deserve it.”

Then it hit me so hard that I lost all control over myself.

Had I done this?

Was this Karma coming back at me for all the cheating and lying that I’d done? Is this what I deserved for being such a shady guy for so long?

“Shayne, we all make mistakes. You’ve got to get yourself together. Ash is goin’ to need you when she wakes up.”

“What if she doesn’t?” It was quite possible that could happen. She could already be dead inside and I wouldn’t know.

“
She’s got so much to live for now, Shayne. She’ll fight with all she has in her. Don’t give up hope. You hear me?”

I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “Yeah.”

“Keep me posted.”

“Alright,” I managed to get out.

We hung up and I felt like the sky was spinning above me. This had to be some sick nightmare. Maybe Ash was still in the shower and I was on the couch, holding the twins and dreaming this horrible alternate life.

For a while I just sat there, sniffling to myself while cars of people parked and went inside. They didn’t know why I was there and I didn’t know their business. This was how being at the hospital worked. People went in, but sometimes they didn’t come out. Well, not alive anyway.

As sickening as it made me feel I had to try to keep myself together enough to be hopeful. If Ash was really inside fighting to come back to us she needed to know I’d be right here waiting and so did her piece of shit father.

So I did what anyone in my situation would have done.

I waited for an ambulance to back into the emergency department. While they climbed in the back to unload the patient, I walked in with them, asking about the patient as if I was there for them.

In an instant I was inside of the department, finally on the other side of those security doors.

An electronic board was lit up with patient
’s names and room numbers. I located Ashley’s and headed toward it, staying focused on what was in front of me insisted on making it obvious that I was sneaking around.

Her father sat in a chair next to her mother, but Ash still wasn’t back. I quickly turned to avoid being spotted, but it was too late.

“What are you doing back here?”

“The same thing you are. I’m waitin’.”

“Shayne, I told you to go home.”

“And I told you that I wasn’t leavin’. I have every right to be here and you know it. In fact, I know for a fact that Ash wouldn’t even want you here. The only reason you are is because I called you. So instead of pushin’ me away, you should be thankful. I’m not leavin’ her. She needs to know that I’ve been here this whole time.”

“It’s not going to make a bit of a difference, boy. If she never wakes up again you’re going to go out and find yourself a new girlfriend. You really think you were going to play house and make it work?”

That really pissed me off. I crossed my arms over my chest. “Yeah, I do. I asked her to marry me and she said yes. She wants to have my name and be my wife. We’re family already and there ain’t nothin’ you can say to me that will change that. You think you can just scare me away? You’ve got another thing comin’. I don’t give a shit who you are. You will not interfere in our lives like this.”

He stood up and looked past me. “Nurse, can you please escort this kid out of here. Get security if you have to.”

The nurse rushed in, taking my arm. I fought free and stared into Ashley’s dad’s eyes. “I won’t leave her. You can do whatever you want, but I’m not leavin’.”

He waved sarcastically as I was being pulled by a set of stronger hands.

Back outside in the waiting room I was sat down and warned not to come to the back until I was permitted. This was my last warning or I’d be asked to leave the hospital.

Everyone waiting stared at me, as if I’d committed a crime. I leaned my elbows on my knees and covered my face with hands again. This was ridiculous that I couldn’t be in there. I was stuck and didn’t know what to do. My options had expired.

Two feet stood in front of me. They weren’t white hospital shoes, or even the fancy ones that Ash’s dad was wearing. These were the same boots that he’d worn since we were teenagers. He kept buying them even when they were out of style.

Slowly I looked up to see my cousin standing there. “I figured you could use some company.” He sat down beside me and crossed his arms.

After all I’d done to my cousin, after all Ash had done, he was there, sitting beside me when I felt like I was all alone. I couldn’t muster up the courage to say anything more than, “Thanks.”

Chapter 20

Shayne

For hours Ford had done his best to try and keep me occupied. He got the nurse to change the channel on the television and we watched some old western. Then we talked football, my new job and even the house that I’d already started fixing up.  I didn’t know if he meant it, but he’d even offered to let me take Friday’s off to work on the house.

Since I hadn’t started the job, I worried with Ash being in the hospital if I’d even be able to start. I couldn’t leave her alone if she needed me.

My mind raced around again, imagining her not waking up. It broke my heart each time more than the one before it. I think Ford realized it, because he’d change the subject or say something that had nothing to do with out last conversation.

“Do you remember that time that I snuck Ash to the beach house and she ended up pukin’ all over your grandma’s bed?”

I laughed, remembering us trying to figure out how to work the washing machine to get the sheets washed before anyone found out that we’d invited people over. It was my first party of many, but the one that stood out for me. I’d been a freak about nobody making a mess or breaking anythin
g. Even when it got out of hand none of that happened. Then, after the strangers had left, Ash decided to take Ford into my grandmother’s bedroom. He came out a few minutes later covered in red barf.