Relentless (16 page)

I turned to Louise. “What should I do, go to the cottage?”

“No, just stay here. We’ll be meeting at the school to discuss what has happened. You’ll be safer here than at the cottage by yourself. Can you borrow some clothes from Brynna?”

I nodded. Brynna wouldn’t harass me about borrowing clothes. Not today.

Outside the window of my old dorm room, the sun beat down on the thick green foliage. It looked like any other day. Not like a day when people had been killed. Maybe because of me.

I fell onto the bed, sliding into the cool sheets I’d gotten from the linen closet. The first tear slid down my face. Lana and Daryl were innocents, yet because of my obsession with Eric, I’d put them in danger. Two tears followed the first one, then ten, then an entire deluge. I sobbed until I was sick. When I couldn’t cry any more, I got up and washed my face. Climbing back into bed, I couldn’t erase the horrible look on Myles’ face from my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw it. Myles would never forgive me if I’d gotten Lana killed. I didn’t know who would never forgive me for getting Daryl killed, but I was sure there was someone out there. Not that it mattered, because I’d never forgive myself.

The sheets were slick against my legs as I shifted beneath them. My breathing was deep and slow. I liked breathing like that, so calm, so relaxed. I could see me, sleeping in the bed. I looked peaceful, and it made me smile, the horrors of the night forgotten, at least for a few moments. I wanted to keep watching me, a thought that made me giggle. How silly was that? Me watching me. But something pulled me to the window. My palm flattened against the glass, warm from the sun. Oddly, the glass didn’t seem hard; it was as though it wasn’t there. Then suddenly I was outside the window and traveling through the air. I was a bird flying above the trees. The wind whipped my hair, and I imagined I’d known how to fly forever.

Maybe I should have felt fear. What if I fell? But there was no fear, only a freedom from my physical body. I liked when I dreamed these weird dreams because where else would you get to fly? I’d had the flying dreams a few times before, but not since I’d started having the nightmares and sleepwalking that had signaled my Becoming. This flight took me across the island. My destination was unclear, yet I knew I had one. The ground slid past until I was over the water. In my stomach, it wasn’t so much fun anymore. A knot of fear coiled, uncoiled, then coiled again until I thought I would throw up. What if I couldn’t find my way back? What if I got stuck in this dream forever? Beneath me, I could see Key West and a big, beautiful boat in the marina. I liked the big boat, and maybe that was why I was drawn to it.

Just as my feet touched the slick white deck, my surroundings changed, and I was in a room. Through the windows, I could see the marina outside. I was inside the boat. My hand slid over the surface of a smooth, granite-topped counter, but I didn’t really feel it. I only knew it was smooth because it looked that way. Underneath my hand, I really felt nothing, just air, emptiness. Dark wood flooring changed to a thick, luxurious carpet as I moved toward the back of the room. Even though I made the motions of walking and my feet were on the floor, I felt nothing beneath them. It was as though I still floated above it.  My stomach tightened. A huge bubble of panic swelled in my chest. My hair lifted slightly as if a breeze had found its way inside, and suddenly the room blurred, and I was somewhere else. Deeper in the boat, I thought immediately, below the waterline because there were no windows here. There was only this hallway where I stood and, across from me, a long row of thick iron bars. It was a jail divided into cells. In one of them, Daryl huddled on a thin, ragged mattress, crying. Lana reached through the bars from the cell next to his and stroked his hair. She was bruised but very much alive. Relief overwhelmed me, and my eyes filled with tears. They were alive. Then I remembered it was all a dream.

Down the hall, a door opened, and I pressed myself against the wall. As I pushed, I realized I had become part of the wall, squashing myself right into the wood. Voices preceded them, then the man I’d seen at the school with Mr. O’Rourke appeared. Behind him was the huge, red-haired guy I’d seen in my dream. I didn’t know him, had never seen him before, so I didn’t know how or why my mind kept conjuring him up. They stopped in front of the cells.

“We’ll be leaving soon,” the man said.

Lana pulled her arm back and stood. She walked to the bars, coming to face the man. “Why are you doing this?”

The man didn’t respond, only smiled.

She gripped the bars in her hands, leaning closer to them. “They’ll come for me, you know. Myles won’t let you take me.”

“Right now, I’m sure they think you’re dead. But when we’re ready, we’ll let them know we have you. Then, of course they’ll come; it will be just as we’ve planned.”

Behind the man, the boy’s brows furrowed. Half turning, he looked up and down the hall.

Apparently feeling the movement, the man turned. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure.” The boy shrugged his massive shoulders, the light glinting on his coppery hair. “Something’s not right.”

I pressed myself deeper into the wall, yet the boy seemed to look right at me.  He took a step in my direction then paused.

“Do you see a listening device? Some kind of camera?” The older man took a step closer.

“No, it’s like there’s someone…” His voice trailed off, and with a jerk he moved fast, right toward me.  Fear swelled in me, my breath catching in my chest. My hair swayed against my shoulder, and the room evaporated. My visions blurred to a stream of blue and white. Wind blew my hair back, and then I saw trees, grass, a building.

With a gasp, I sat up. The sheet was wadded at my waist, and I grabbed my pillow, crushing it to my chest as I tried to catch my breath. Did I feel so guilty about Daryl and Lana that I was dreaming them alive, or was it something else? Exhaustion settled over me, and though I knew I’d been asleep for—I glanced at the clock—two hours, I felt as though I’d never rested. I needed to understand my dream. Why would I dream something so weird, and why was the red-headed guy seeing me in the dream when no one else could? My brain refused to stay on track. It was shutting down. Without wanting to or meaning to, I fell onto my side and slept.

***

I awoke to a dark room with only the moonlight shining through the window. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, I realized they’d be serving the evening meal soon. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. I took a second shower and then headed to the dining room. Jared was just sitting down with a tray when I got there, and he waved at me.

After getting a tray heaping with roast beef served over rice and a helping of English peas and carrots, I went straight for his table. Brynna had taken a chair, too, and I glanced around the room once just to make sure I didn’t see Myles. Right now, I didn’t want to have to face him. I was thankful that the dining room was a place for students. I didn’t want to have to face any of the instructors’ accusing looks either.  Here, the only adults were the ones who served the meals. When I sat down, I could see that Brynna was moving her food around on her plate and only eating an occasional bite.

“Either of you seen Myles tonight?” I asked.

Brynna shook her head, and Jared did the same. We all ate in silence, not knowing what to say. The conversation in the dining hall was subdued, then for a moment, it seemed to stop completely before resuming again at a low hum. I looked up to see Myles had entered the room. He glanced our way but didn’t acknowledge us. He got a tray of food, then, without meeting anyone’s eye, started in the direction of our table. The food I’d swallowed rolled in my stomach, and for a moment, I thought I’d be sick. I took a few deep breaths.
Please don’t let him hate me
. I repeated the words over and over in my head.

Myles slid into a chair next to Brynna, directly across from me. Under the table, I felt Jared’s hand on my leg. I glanced at him, and he squeezed my thigh. He mouthed the words “you okay?” I nodded. We both knew that was a lie.

Brynna smiled at Myles encouragingly. “Did you get some rest?”

He nodded and took a halfhearted bite of his food. That also had to be a lie. The skin beneath his eyes was smudged with dark circles, and he looked like he might drop at any minute.

The four of us ate in silence for several minutes. Actually, they ate. I simply stirred the food, watching it congeal on my plate.

“I’m so sorry this happened, Myles.” I hadn’t planned to say it. The words had just come out by themselves. Slowly I lifted my head to look at him.

He only stared at his plate, fork in hand. Across the table, Brynna frowned.

“You should be sorry,” she hissed. “Hopefully you’ve learned your lesson about what your relationship with Eric can cause. I told you it was dangerous and that you’d get people killed. Everyone told you, but you wouldn’t listen.”

“Why are you so sure this is because of something Alexis did?” Jared dropped his fork onto his plate.

“Because her boyfriend’s pack just attacked her in Key West. When they decide to make a point, this is what they do. They attack. It’s not the first time they’ve done something like this. There’s nothing else major going on between our packs that would cause an ambush like this except Alexis and her boyfriend problem.”

I wanted to disappear into the floor. I wasn’t sure what had happened to the more understanding Brynna. I guess she’d realized that ignoring dangers for the sake of love wasn’t really a very good idea. Of course, everything she said was true, and it wasn’t anything I hadn’t said to myself a hundred times already today. But to have to hear it in front of Myles made my stomach knot, and tears threatened the corners of my eyes. Beside me, I felt more than heard a low rumbling growl deep in Jared’s chest. I put a hand on his arm.

“You’re right, Brynna. I see that now.”

Brynna dropped her fork, and it clattered loudly on her plate. “Of course I’m right. It’s a shame this had to happen to make you see it. If you’d just listened, none of this would have ever—”

“Enough!” Myles’ fist pounded on the table as he spoke, and we all jumped. Several heads turned to look our way.

“Maybe it wasn’t because of her,” Myles said. He stared at his plate.

I swung my foot and kicked him hard. He jerked and finally looked at me. I gave a slight shake of my head. He absolutely did not need to tell anyone about what had happened with his mom. There really wasn’t a point. My relationship with Eric had been causing problems between the packs from the moment it’d started. Channing and her parents had died because they’d tried to kill me for being with Eric. Myles was suffering enough already because of Lana. No one needed to know about his mother. Brynna was right—this was my fault.

He gave me a half-hearted smile.

“You don’t think I’m going to let you take all the blame for this, do you?”

Leaning forward, I tried to give him a warning look. “I am to blame. Everyone knows that, so just let it be, Myles.”

For several seconds, our table was silent. Myles’ eyes were on mine, and I tried to channel through to him, to speak into his mind like I had when we’d been in wolf form. I thought it was working, thought he would let it go and not say anything. Then I saw tears in his eyes, and I was sure they weren’t the first ones that had been there today.

“What happened last night was likely because of me,” he said resolutely.

“Myles!” I shook my head in a warning.

“I have to, Alexis. I told my dad last night, and I went before the board and told them this morning.”

“Told them what?” Brynna asked.

“That I’ve met with my mother a few times since we came back to school.”

“You’ve done what?” Brynna shoved her tray away and twisted sideways in her chair to face Myles.

Jared looked confused. “Why is meeting with your mother a big deal?”

Myles sighed. “My mother left me and my father right after I was born and went to join the Fenryrians. I’d never seen her before until now.”

“Is that possible? I didn’t think anyone could leave the Lycernians and join the other pack.” Jared gave the three of us a confused look.

“The Fenryrians are the ones who are stricter about their members joining our pack. If a Fenryrian leaves, they cannot be part of our pack. They have to live isolated among humans.” Myles took a drink of water from his glass. When he set it down, he spun it around slowly on the table before finally looking back at Jared and continuing. “Our pack is more lenient. You can join the Fenryrians as long as you’re not endangering our side. But you have to completely break with our pack to ensure you aren’t sharing secrets with them that could hurt us. You can’t have any contact at all. I’d never met or talked to my mother until she contacted me when we got here to start school. She said she wanted to meet me.”

“My God, Myles! What were you thinking?”

“That I wanted to meet my mother, Brynna. You’ve had both your parents with you for your entire life. I have a mother I’d never seen before. I wanted to meet her.”

Brynna leaned toward him. “She left you when you were just a baby. She never spoke to you for years. Why on earth would you want to meet her?”

“Shut up, Brynna.” Jared’s voice rang out, his words gravelly with the half growl that rumbled in his chest, causing heads to turn our way again. “You have no idea what it’s like to lose or not have your parent with you, so just shut up.”

To my amazement, she did.

Myles continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “I saw her the first day when we all went to Key West. I slipped off a couple more times at night to meet her there. The last time I saw her was the other day. The same day Alexis was attacked at the beach with Eric.” 

I nodded. “I’d seen Myles with his mom the very first day we went to town. Then I saw him again this last time. He saw me, too.”

“You were the only person to see me with her. I wasn’t worried, but she was afraid you’d run to the council and tell them. I knew you wouldn’t.”

“Right,” Brynna said with a snort. “Because you knew she was doing much worse, seeing her Fenryrian boyfriend.”

“No!” Myles said sharply. He twisted in his seat to face Brynna. “I knew because she would want me to work my own problem out and give me the benefit of the doubt. I knew because she’s my friend.”

For once, Brynna didn’t have anything left to say. I could see the hurt in her eyes. She and Myles had known each other, been friends, a lot longer than he and I had. But Myles and I both had a parent who had deserted us, and it was a link that bound us.