Redeemed Complete: A Military Stepbrother Romance (19 page)

“I discovered this place a few years, ago,” Harrison said to me without turning his head. “I know there’s a path, but I don’t think many people actually know about it. I’ve never seen anyone else here.”

I was intrigued. I never thought that Harrison would have a place to hide out, a place to reflect. All of a sudden it hit me, maybe he didn’t reflect here, maybe he didn’t think about his life and figure things out.

Maybe this was where he brought the girls he wanted to sleep with. I felt the warmth draining out of me and into the ground as I thought about it. Is that what he thought this was? Just another hookup, another conquest by the king of high school conquests?

I wanted him. I wanted him badly. But after last night he should know that I wasn’t that type of girl. Maybe he thought knowing each other so well would change things?

Who was he kidding? We didn’t know each other at all, we just conveniently used to live in the same house and were forced to see each other around every so often. That wasn’t knowing someone, that was being neighbors.

We walked on, and I gripped Harrison’s hand, feeling him pulse back. I watched his strong back, still shapely in his heavy coat. The impossibly wide shoulders tapering down to the narrow waist just above that delectable ass of his. No wonder girls gave it up so easily whenever they got wherever they were going. The bag from the car hung off his shoulder, swaying back and forth with each step. When the path turned a little too much, Harrison would reach behind and steady it with his left hand, making sure it never swung around and hit me. It made me smile. Maybe he was different now after all.

The trees got thicker, covered in snow, keeping more flakes from hitting us. I couldn’t see any animals around. It was peaceful. I wondered what this might look like in the summer or fall. So much more color, but sometimes color got in the way. The white powder all around had a way of clarifying thoughts, getting to the heart of things.

Suddenly, Harrison stopped. I kept moving and didn’t register it fast enough, colliding with his back. “Oooh,” I shouted into the fabric of his coat. I held myself there for a long moment before retreating a step, shaking his hand like I was a little kid because I couldn’t see.
 

“What gives?” I put my other hand on Harrison’s shoulder and leaned around his right side. Then I saw why he stopped.

“We’re here,” was all he said.
 

In front of us the forest fell away, leaving a clear area with a creek rushing through it just a few feet in front of us. It was a sea of tranquility in the otherwise tumultuous forest.
 

What really took my breath away, though, was the stone bench right in front of the creek. It looked totally out of place, yet right at home at the foot of the rushing water. I couldn’t believe someone had built a bench here, so far out of the way.

No wonder Harrison came here. It was the perfect sanctuary from the rest of the world. The forest around us eliminated all sounds from outside, all I could hear was the water passing by, the only indication that time was passing at all.

“This is the place?”

“Yeah. This is the place.” Harrison looked down and to his side at me. “Oh, right.” He stepped forward and to his left, into the clearing so I could move in and get a better look.

The area in front of us lay still, as if it was waiting for us to arrive all this time. I still held Harrison’s hand, feeling up loom next to me, a giant of a man.

“Let’s sit.”
 

“Yeah.” We approached the bench from opposite sides, our hands still clasped together. Harrison set the bag down first, on the left side of the bench, before he sat next to it. I sat on the right side, not sure how close to get.

I still didn’t know what this was all about. Harrison had brought me to a beautiful place, a place he clearly used to get away from it all.

But why?

To talk about us? Was there an us? To let me down gently? I had no idea, and Harrison wasn’t exactly being forthcoming.

The bench was higher than normal. My feet barely touched the ground as I sat, and I swung my legs back and forth, keeping them warm. I didn’t want to speak first, so I concentrated on the beauty around us.
 

I couldn’t be sure, but I thought Harrison was watching me. I didn’t dare to look his way and confirm.
 

Instead of speaking, a few minutes later, Harrison reached into the bag and pulled a few things out - two cylinders wrapped in plastic and a thermos, hot to the touch.

“I brought snacks,” Harrison explained, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I didn’t realize until that moment when I saw the wrapped food just how hungry I’d been. I’d snacked a bunch at Maggie’s party, which despite ending just a couple hours earlier felt like forever ago already, but hadn’t eaten a full meal since my late breakfast at home.

Harrison handed me the thermos, which I clung to, feeling its warmth radiate through me. After a few seconds, I fumbled around with cap, unscrewing it and using it as a cup to pour the dark brown liquid in, steam rising all the while.

I took a sip, tentative at first, not sure how hot it was. The warm sweet chocolatey flavor was perfect, just right. I drank long and deep, a clear smile on my face.

Harrison piped up, watching me as I poured myself some more. “You really can’t get enough of that stuff, can you?”

“I didn’t know you’d noticed,” I replied, lifting the lid cup to my face again, feeling the warmth trickle down my throat. I loved hot chocolate, and I always tried to buy local brands wherever I traveled. Chocolate in general was totally my thing. I never made a big deal of it to Harrison, though. I never made anything a big deal with him. The less he knew about my life the better.

“It was tough to ignore, you’ve got the equivalent of a small south American country’s worth of cocoa fields stashed throughout the house.” I hadn’t taken most of my hot chocolate collection with me, so no surprise he’d found some of it lying around.

“Thanks.” I realized I was hogging it and quickly poured him a cup. Harrison accepted it gratefully and drank.

“That really does hit the spot, I can see why you go nuts over this stuff,” he said, staring at the cup before handing it back to me. I refastened it to the thermos and set it down.

“What’re those?” I asked, pointing to the wrapped packages Harrison brought.

“They’re sandwiches. Duh.”

He handed me a sandwich; we unwrapped them and started eating. Mine was a turkey bacon with a hint of ranch - it was exactly what I liked. How did he know all this stuff about me? Had Harrison being paying attention all this time? I didn’t know what to do with that.

I stayed quiet, looking forward, eating silently, my feet swinging in the wind. The sandwich was still toasty warm after spending the drive over lying next to the thermos, and I devoured it without a second thought. When I took the time to breath and look over at Harrison I saw him taking smaller bites from his sandwich while cocking an eye at me.

“The way you eat…” he trailed off.

“Yeah?”

“You put some of my fire teammates to shame, that’s all I’ll say.” He kept eating, laughing to himself.

“Ugh, really?” The idea of eating faster than a soldier who weighted 100 pounds more than me and was on his feet all day was not appealing.

“No joke.”

I let that hang there and focused back on my sandwich, deciding right then and there to just enjoy myself. Maybe I could eat like a solder. And maybe I was OK with that.

After we finished up our meal, I poured another cup full of hot chocolate and passed it over to Harrison. He took a sip and handed it back, and I took a sip.

I was reminded of ancient chieftains making deals between tribes by drinking from the same cup, or eating from the same plate. I wondered what kind of deal Harrison and I’d just made.

We passed the cup back and forth till it was empty, then we just sat there. It started to snow again, and I looked up to watch it come down.

“You’re shivering,” Harrison said, low.

“Yeah,” I quickly replied, “unlike you, I haven’t been daydreaming about this place.” I looked around and shivered more, enjoying myself, and the wonderful piece display seem to bring to me, despite the frigid cold.

“Let me see if I can help with that,” was all Harrison said, as he shuffled toward me on the bench. I wanted to resist, wanted to push him away, because I didn’t want to hear what I thought he would say next.

I’m sorry, Laurel, what we did last night was a mistake, and it should never have happened. I know where not blood related, but we are step brother and stepsister, and that counts for something. Think of what our parents would say if they ever found out about us.

You’ve got a good thing going on in New York City, and I am finally starting to get my life back together after my first tour in the military. I was really messed up kid, and I was really bad to you, but now I have the opportunity to make something for myself. I don’t want to jeopardize what user of us have going on for the sake of some fun, harmless as it is.

I will always care for you, but the things I said last night, please forget all about them, and the same with what we did. It can never happen again.

He could definitely say something like that, but knowing Harrison like I did, it would probably come out a lot meaner. And I’d cry even more than I already expected to.

As Harrison put his arms around me all I could think about where those words running through my head. It can never happen again. What we did was wrong.

I managed to gather up some strength and press back against him a little bit, still no match for his raw power. And then there was the heat. Harrison warmed me up like we were back at home.

“Stop,” I whispered, not even sure if Harrison could hear me.

He immediately froze. “Is everything okay?” He whispered back.

“Yes. No.” I shook my head, trying to dispel the conversation we were having in my head. Unsuccessfully. In my head Harrison made all the right points, and made them convincingly, but I still didn’t want to listen.

Of course what we were doing was new, of course we were doing was scary, but it felt so right, after feeling so wrong all these years, that I couldn’t help myself.

“Never mind.” I didn’t want to deal with it for the moment.

Harrison looked at me, his eyes boring into me, concern clear on his face. Finally, he turned away and brightened. He must think everything was okay, when it really wasn’t.

“I try and come here every few days when I’m in town. It’s a great place to be alone. You can’t hear anything but nature. Hard-to-find any other places close by like this.”

I was grateful for the change of subject. And grateful to hear Harrison start to open up to me. “Especially one with a bench like this. In the middle of nowhere.”

Harrison chuckled. “Yeah, you’re right. Not much call to build benches out in the wilderness these days.”

I had to know. “How did you find this place?”

“Oh, you know how it is,” he said, not meeting my eyes, “boys exploring all over when they’re young.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant by exploring, in particular what or whom he was exploring, but I let it go. “I didn’t figure you for the nature type.”

“Yeah? You don’t think I could rough it up?”

“No that’s not what I said. I know you’ve had training, I know you can rough it up with the best of them.”

“That’s more like it. You’re right, though, I wasn’t much of the nature type before the service. But after you’ve been out there, and seen some things, sometimes it feels really good to get away from it all, and just be alone with your thoughts.”

That was probably the most heartwarming and introspective thing Harrison had ever said to me, including pouring his heart out to me last night. Which we still hadn’t talked about.

I leaned into him, feeling him cover me up as we got closer. The steam from our breaths collided as we sat in silence.

“It’s a good place to think about things, it’s a good place to come and meditate. I started finding places like this wherever I’m stationed, I think everyone does. It’s tough to find moments to be alone.”

“Moments like this?”

“Yeah, just like this. Of course, I’m not quite alone, but that’s all right.”

We both let those words hang there, and instead of speaking, we huddled closer together. It would be dark soon, and soon we’d have to leave for home.

“We should probably talk about last night.” Just like Harrison to dance around the issue for a while, before wading into it had first all at once. I didn’t really appreciate the first part, but the second part was refreshing.

“Yeah, about that…” I trailed off.

“I didn’t expect that to happen. You gotta believe me, Laurel, I didn’t expect that to happen. I don’t know what came over me. It was the heat of the moment, seeing you, with that guy….” Harrison’s whispers became nothing, and he just looked at me.

“I didn’t expect it either. Nothing about last night went according to plan.”

Harrison looked straight ahead and laughed at me. “Always with the plan, Laurel, always with the plan.” He focused Back on me, those dark eyes pushing into my head, as if he was trying to see how I worked, how my mind worked. “Do you ever just let go? Do you ever just enjoy yourself? Or does everything have to be according to plan?”

How could I even respond to that? How little did he know about me? Couldn’t he tell that when I kissed him last night, I was throwing whatever plan I had right out the window, never to be seen again?

So I liked things to be a little organized. I liked to know how things were going, I liked to know where I stand, what was so wrong with that?

I saw how Harrison had lived, throwing caution to the wind at every turn, and I knew that all that kind of lifestyle would inspire me was anxiety.

“You make me sound so uptight. I’m not like that at all! I can relax, I can enjoy myself.”

Harrison chuckled. “You sure about that? Are you really sure?”

I stared back at him, Not willing to let this go, Just like he wasn’t. “I kissed you last night, didn’t I?”