Red Hill (22 page)

Even after half or more of the population had been wiped out, it wasn't a good enough excuse to throw away the list—regardless of the strange excitement that I felt every time Nathan was in the same room.

We weren't a mile away from the entrance of the ranch when Joey tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to the field on our left. It probably wasn't the best idea, leaving that early in the morning with the sun in our eyes, but I could still see her, limping across the knee-high wheat stalks.

“Ted, ten o'clock,” Joey said, alerting the others.

We approached her carefully. She'd noticed us right after we saw her, and instantly turned in our direction, her low moans signaling her excitement at the prospect of a meal. She reached for us as she walked, and I held the hatchet tightly in my hand as I charged her.

I lifted the wooden handle of the hatchet high in the air, and just before I was within her grasp, I brought it down to her skull, letting the weight of it work with me. The steel pierced bone, and then slid easily into the softer part of her brain. She instantly froze, and then fell to the ground.

I bent over, steadying myself with my foot on her head, and then pulled, releasing the edge of the axe from her head. Joey, Cooper, and Bryce were all watching me, their expressions ranging from disgusted to awestruck.

“What?”

Joey glanced at the other boys and then back at me. “I'm not completely convinced at this point that you needed us with you for anything other than chitchat.”

I laughed once, and continued on. “Come on. She isn't the ted I saw from the porch. There is another one out here. To the south.”

We crossed the field in search of the large male I saw lumbering across the wheat. He met the same end as the previous ted, but then I wanted to return to the road. The girls only knew how to get to the ranch from Halle's song, so the roads were what needed to be cleared first.

We had eliminated a dozen or so teds by lunch time, when we stopped to rest and snack on the potato chips I'd stuck in my pack.

“So . . . Nathan . . . ,” Cooper said with a smile.

“What about him?” I said, taking another gulp of water.

“He seemed really worried about you. You guys are getting along pretty well.”

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, and then raised an eyebrow. “Are you really trying to play matchmaker right now?”

Cooper spit out the bite of sandwich in his mouth and laughed uncontrollably, and Bryce and Joey began to chuckle, too.

I rolled my eyes. “Stop it.”

“It's okay, Scarlet. You don't have to be a badass all the time,” Joey said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked.

Bryce handed me his leftovers to put in my pack. “Nathan is a good guy. One of the best. Even before all this. You shouldn't be so hard on him.”

“Am I?” I asked, a little offended. How was I being hard on him? Just because I wasn't throwing myself at him? Why I was even entertaining this conversation with a bunch of barely pubescent boys was a joke in itself.

Joey smiled. “There's nothing wrong with being happy, ­Scarlet.”

“Are you happy, Joey?” As soon as the words passed my lips, I regretted them. The question wiped the smile off Joey's face, and the others fell silent. “I'm sorry. God, I am so sorry,” I said.

“It's okay,” Joey said, standing. “We better get going.”

I stood and brushed the dead grass off my clothes. “I guess Nathan is okay.”

Joey's small smile returned, and he closed one eye tight to help him look at me despite the sun. “You like him, then?”

“A little. I think.”

“I think a lot,” Cooper teased.

“Shut up,” I replied.

“What if something happened to him?” Bryce asked.

I was quiet for a long time, and then finally said, “It would break me.”

We continued until dinnertime. By the time we'd returned to the house, I had downed fourteen, and the boys had taken care of at least ten apiece. We'd stumbled on a herd just before we got to the highway, significantly upping our count for the day.

Ashley nearly tackled Cooper to the floor when we walked into the house, and the rest of us grabbed clean clothes and then found different places to wash up.

I was filthy, covered in sweat, dirt, and the thick, coagulated blood of shufflers. I went out the laundry-room door to the patio on the side of the house and pulled off my shirt, letting it slap to the ground. I used my foot to pull off one tennis shoe, and then did the same with the other before shimmying off my jeans. They were Leah's, and a bit tight, but my scrub pants weren't made for an apocalypse, and were shredded by week two.

I pulled the garden hose from its coil and twisted the water spigot. The water came out with a gush just as Nathan came outside. His eyes pored over my body. A month ago, it would have been embarrassing to be standing in front of someone in just a bra and panties, but we lived in a different world, now. In truth, I just felt like one of the guys.

The way Nathan was looking at me in that moment, though, was not like he was just looking at one of the guys. He took the hose from my hand and I bent over, letting him spray my back and hair.

“Looks like a productive trip,” he said.

I stood up and scrubbed my face as he sprayed me with the water, and then used my hands to scrub my arms and legs. “Yep. We came across a herd. Not sure if I can beat my count tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? Scarlet . . .”

I turned to face him. “I understand that you don't want me to go, but I need to do this.”

“I know,” he said, taking a step toward me. He leaned over to pick up the stack of clean clothes off the rusted-out cooker beside the door where I'd tossed them, and handed them to me. “But I can't stand staying at the house while you're out there.” He was just inches from me. Even though it was warm out, my skin was covered in goose bumps. He put one hand on my hip, and the other on my face.

His mouth was just inches from mine, but I put gentle pressure against his chest with my fingertips. “Did you love her?” The question was painfully out of place, but still needed to be asked. I may have far surpassed my days as an insecure adolescent, and we might have been the last of the few people left in the world, but it was still a valid worry to wonder if it was the situation that brought us together or his feelings were genuine. Maybe it didn't matter.

“Not for a long time, and never like the way I love you.”

Even though I realized that I might feel the same, his words surprised me. He seemed to be waiting for me to return the sentiment, and when I didn't, he rushed to kiss me, covering the awkward silence in case it led to an awkward exit. I let him pull my bare skin against him. I parted my lips and he wasted no time slipping his tongue inside, searching every part of my mouth. I'd never thought about if he was a good kisser or not, but he was such a good kisser that it both surprised me and made me ache for more.

I walked backward to the back of the house, and he walked with me, never pulling his mouth from mine. He knotted his fingers in the dark, wet strands of my hair, as he pressed my back against the wooden slats of the house. There was no room between us, but I kept pulling him closer and closer to me. My thighs throbbed for the hardness behind his jeans.

I reached down and unbuckled his belt and then unbuttoned his pants, immediately pinching his zipper and tugging it down. Nathan let me go for just a second, took a quick glance around, and then put his thumbs into the waist of his jeans and pushed down just enough.

He reached down and pulled my knee up to his hip, and with the other hand slid over the small bit of fabric covering what he was after. The tip of his skin touched mine, and I instantly moaned in his mouth. I didn't realize how much I wanted him or how much I missed sex until just that moment.

He steadied himself and then rocked his hips up and forward, pressing himself inside of me. I moaned again. I wasn't sure if it was just because I'd been without sex in almost a year, or if he just felt that good.

Nathan pulled his mouth away from mine, and then hugged me to him, allowing him to go even deeper inside of me. The leg I stood on was burning, but I ignored it. Nathan slammed harder into me, making my ass bump into the wood behind me. He rocked into me over and over, in the most uncomfortable, amazing position. He licked and bit my earlobe, and I pressed my fingers into his back, and bit my lip to keep from screaming out just how amazing it felt. As my thigh began to feel numb and shake from exhaustion, Nathan pressed his face hard into my neck, and then groaned loudly, pressing into me a couple more times.

We stood still like that for a moment, and then we both let our legs give way, falling gently to the ground. Nathan looked up at me, and I leaned down, kissing his lips, already red from how much he'd used them on my skin.

He smiled, and then slipped my panties down my legs.

“It's a little late for that, don't you think?” I said with a smirk.

He grabbed my hips and pulled me on top of him. I straddled his legs, leaned up, and then slowly, carefully, we fit perfectly together once again.

I was out of practice, but Nathan moved with me, slower this time. He pulled me down to kiss his lips, and then sucked my lower lip into his mouth, between his teeth, applying the smallest bit of pressure. I moved faster, and pressed against him harder, and then my whole body tensed, the orgasm holding on longer than I expected it to.

Finally, I collapsed against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me.

“Does it make me crazy that I think the end of the world is the best thing to happen to me?” he said, touching my face.

I smiled, wishing I could say the same.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Miranda

IT WAS SITTING ON THE
table like it belonged there, like a flower vase, or a pen—or a toy. Zoe was playing Go Fish on the floor with Elleny, and there was a fully loaded 9mm Glock not five feet from them. I picked it up and checked that the safety was on—it wasn't.

“Are you f— whose is this?” I said, holding up the handgun. “What dumbass left a loaded gun without the safety on next to the kids?”

Nathan walked into the kitchen, likely just out of curiosity, because I knew he wouldn't be that stupid. Scarlet came in right after, followed by Joey.

“Oh. That's mine,” Joey said. “Well, I brought it up from downstairs. I just had to take a leak. I was coming back to get it.”

I made a show of pointing to the safety. “What if one of the kids had gotten ahold of this? You ought to have your ass whipped!”

“I'm sorry,” he said, stunned at my anger. “I just put it down for a second. It won't happen again.” He picked up the gun from the table, and went outside through the laundry room.

Scarlet and Nathan traded glances.

“Thanks for saving me the trouble of a lecture,” Scarlet said. “You're becoming quite the mama bear.”

“Yeah,” I said, pissed off that I was still pissed off.

I went out the front door and stood on the porch, hoping some fresh air would help. It was getting hotter. Not only did being hot make me cranky, but it also reminded me of summers here with my dad. The dad I would never see again because his girlfriend ate him.

A gunshot rang out, and I caught Joey aiming at some cans on a fence from the corner of my eye. He shot a few more times and then walked to the fence to reset the cans.

I walked over to him. He didn't acknowledge me.

“I'm sorry,” I said. “That was a little harsh.”

“A little harsh? I half expected your head to start spinning around and pea soup to start spewing from your mouth.”

“Don't be such a baby. It wasn't that bad. Are you telling me Dana never yelled at you?”

“No. As a matter of fact, she didn't. We got along really well.”

“Well, you probably didn't leave firearms lying around when you were with Dana.”

“Probably not. It was a stupid thing to do, I get it.”

I glanced up at the sky, recoiling from the bright sun. I wasn't sure, but it had to be getting close to June, if it wasn't already. I could already feel beads of sweat forming along my hairline. God, I missed deodorant.

Joey lifted the Glock with both hands, aimed, and fired.
Bam, bam, bam, bam
. Four cans in a row cartwheeled off the fence.

“Nicely done,” I said, shading my eyes with my hand. “Can I try?”

“No. This gun is allergic to bitchiness.”

“Are you calling me a bitch?”

“No, I said you're being bitchy. There is a difference.”

“Not really.” I took the gun from him and held it in front of me. I shot once, missed, and then hit the next three.

“Not bad,” Joey said.

“I've been practicing with Bryce.”

“I know. I've seen you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, you're getting pretty good.”

“Thanks.”

“You're welcome. You're still being bitchy.”

I frowned. “You're still being a dumbass.”

Joey frowned, too. His tan T-shirt was already soaked with sweat. His arm muscles strained and glided every time he moved them, and I couldn't help but wonder what the rest of him looked like.

“Why are you so mean all the time?” he asked, spitting on the ground next to him. “Is it because you're trying to hide that you want me?”

Ick. He was so arrogant. “I wouldn't want you if you were the last man on earth.”

“That's just hateful.” He was a little hurt. I could see it in his eyes, and to my surprise, that softened me up a little.

I sighed. “I just don't want you to know that I . . . I like you. A little. Not a lot.”

“You like me,” Joey said, more of a statement than a question.

“Not a lot,” I qualified.

“Haven't you and Bryce been together since birth?”

“Close.”

“He doesn't like me.”

“Not really, no,” I said, shaking my head.

“Is that why? Because he knows how you feel about me?”

“I don't know. I don't even know how I feel.”

“You just said you like me.”

I shrugged. “I like everyone.”

“No you don't.”

“That's true.”

Joey put the gun on safety, showed me, and then took a step closer. He was so close that I could feel his breath on my face, and see the sweat glisten between the thick, dark whiskers of his five o'clock shadow. He was so unlike anyone I would normally be attracted to, but then again, I didn't know whom I would be attracted to because I'd been with Bryce for so long.

“I like you, too,” he said. And then he walked away, leaving me in a puddle of holy shit and inappropriate thoughts.

After several moments, I walked to the porch and sat on the top step. The storm door opened and closed, but it wasn't until I saw two perfect legs that I knew who it was.

“Hey,” Ashley said.

“Hey.”

“You know what I miss?”

“Your flat iron?”

“Date night. You and me getting all dressed up and meeting Bryce and Coop somewhere fun. Just hanging out and talking about all the stupid stuff we used to do when we were kids.”

I smiled. “Yeah, that was fun.”

“You know what else I miss? Music.”

“Cheeseburgers.”

“Facebook.”

“Movies On Demand.”

Ashley laughed and shook her head. “I miss the mall.”

“In about a week, we're going to miss toothpaste.”

Ashley looked at me in horror. “Are you serious?”

I shrugged. “Dad had a few boxes, but between nine people . . . it's almost gone.”

“You know what else I miss?” she asked. I waited. “You being in love with Bryce.”

I craned my neck in her direction. She met my glare. “You don't know anything about anything, Ashley.”

“I know what I saw in the field a minute ago. You better be careful. That guy in there loves you more than life itself. You don't want to mess that up.”

“I'm not trying to.”

“Then stop.”

“You stop.”

Ashley narrowed her eyes at me, and then shook her head. “We're all stuck here. No sense in everyone being miserable.”

I picked at my nail. “No, just me, right?”

“Are you
miserable
with Bryce?”

“No.”

“Okay, then.” With that she stood up and went inside.

Movement just over the hill in the field caught my eye, and before I could yell to the others, Scarlet blew past me, a hatchet in her hand. She took care of the ted, and returned to the porch like she'd just picked a flower or something. She stood next to me, staring at the road. Since she was outside, anyway, she probably thought it was as good a time as any to wait for her girls.

“You still think they're coming?” I asked, feeling awful as soon as the words fell out of my mouth.

“Yes,” she said without pause.

Nathan came out and stood beside her. Right at my eye level, I could see their fingers touch, and then intertwine.

“I guess I'll go in,” I said to no one in particular.

I passed Joey and joined Bryce in the kitchen. He and Cooper were cooking with Zoe. That consisted of her sitting on the counter being entertained by Cooper while Bryce cooked.

I sat at the table and sighed.

“Bryce said you're feeling bitchy,” Zoe said, matter-of-fact.

Bryce froze and looked back at me for a reaction. I peeked over at Joey, who chuckled to himself.

“I guess I am,” I said, sighing again.

“Why?” Zoe asked.

“I don't know. My dad died. The world is over. We're stuck in this house together waiting for Scarlet to have a meltdown when she figures out her girls aren't coming . . .”

“You mean we're safe and we have each other?” Zoe said.

I looked up at her, feeling instantly guilty and yet cheered up by her sweet smile. “Yes. That's what I meant.”

Scarlet

NATHAN WAITED FOR ZOE TO
fall asleep, and then he came to the laundry room with a smile and a wink. Elleny had just fallen asleep downstairs as well, and I was sitting on the dryer, waiting for him. He leaned in between my legs, kissing my lips.

“What is the plan?” I asked.

“I want to fall asleep with you.”

“Is that all?” I smiled, and let him lead me to the front bedroom. He was so incredibly sweet. Knowing that made me wonder what kind of clueless moron he was married to. Zoe was snoring lightly through her nose as she lay on the far side of the king-size bed. Nathan crawled to the middle, and I lay next to him on my left side. His arms were wrapped around me, and his face was buried in my hair.

He took a deep breath. “I've been thinking about this all day.”

I smiled. “Oh yeah? I've been thinking about yesterday all day.”

“Don't remind me. I can't kidnap you to the backyard in the dark.” He squeezed me, bringing our bodies closer together.

The conversation naturally fell silent, neither one of us feeling the need to fill it with nonsense that didn't matter. Quicker than I expected, Nathan's breathing evened out, and his arm relaxed. A few times, his hand would tense, and he'd grip my arm, or his whole body would jerk. It had been so long since I'd slept with someone else besides the girls, I'd forgotten adults did that, too.

The girls. It had been months since I'd seen them. Guilt washed over me for lying next to Nathan, happy, when they were probably huddled alone somewhere, scared to death.

Patrolling the road made me at least feel like I was doing something to help get them to Red Hill, but it wasn't enough. If they didn't get there, soon, I would have to go look for them.

I stood up, trying not to wake Nathan as I slipped out of the room. Just as I reached the kitchen, the French doors opened.

“Scarlet,” Nathan whispered. He hadn't been asleep that long, but his eyes were heavy. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I'm just going to bed.”

“You're not going to stay with me tonight?”

“I don't know that I should. It might upset Zoe.”

He smiled. “That's really sweet of you to think of her, but I don't think that's it. Talk to me.” He took a few steps into the living room.

“I'm going to take the boys into Shallot tomorrow. I just need a good night's rest. I'm not used to sleeping with you, yet. I have trouble falling asleep anyw—”

“Into Shallot? As in, you're going into the town of Shallot?” He shook his head, stepping closer to me. “But it's overrun.”

“That's why we have to clear it out. What if Andrew takes the girls there for supplies, or looking for shelter?”

Nathan gently cupped my shoulders. “Scarlet, you haven't seen that place. The whole town was turned. That's at least three hundred infected.”

“Teds.”

“Whatever. You can't clear out that town. You'll get yourself killed.”

I smiled and kissed his cheek. “Don't you know by now that I can take care of myself? You've heard the boys' stories at ­dinner.”

“Yeah, and it scares the hell out of me. I have tried to understand, but I can't let you do this, Scarlet. It's reckless.” For the first time, his tone was firm.

My face burned. “You don't get to tell me what to do just because we fucked in the yard.”

He was surprised by my reaction, but the only thing he did in response was frown. “Don't do that.”

That caught me off guard. Andrew had always been so quick to come back at me with angry words that I wasn't prepared to resume a fight picked with someone who stayed calm. “Then don't tell me what to do.”

He gently grabbed my hand and kissed my palm. I tried to pull away, but he held on to it. “I can't begin to know what you go through every day waiting for your girls. I've never met them, and I'm worried sick about them. You can push me away all day long, but I'm in love with you. I
love
you, Scarlet, and it would destroy me if anything happened to you.”

For just a moment, I let guilt seep in with his words. In that moment, I thought about staying there, with him, where it was safe. I thought about waiting for the girls, so I could be sure to be at the ranch waiting when they arrived. But then I thought about Jenna and Halle walking past Shallot, and running into a herd. Even a small one would be a death sentence. They were just little girls. I couldn't be sure that Andrew was with them to protect them or help them make decisions.

“I can't,” I said, wriggling my hand free of his.

“You can't what?”

“Do this. It's breaking my focus.”

He shook his head. “I don't know what you mean.”

“I need to worry about
them,
Nathan. I need to stand outside and think about them and worry about them every second of the day, because I'm afraid if I don't something will happen to them.”

He shook his head again. He was clearly confused by my babbling.

“I know it's irrational, okay? I can see it on your face and I can feel it everywhere but in my heart. Thinking about them keeps them alive.”

“Okay. I get that, but worrying about them is one thing. Making dangerous choices is—”

“This is distracting me. You are distracting me. I don't think about them as much anymore. Sometimes I think about you, or Zoe or . . . I can't care about you. It makes me forget what I need to do to get Jenna and Halle home. I can't be responsible for your feelings. My children come first. They will
always
come first.”