Authors: Jamie McGuire
Zoe didn't flinch when I peeled back the covers and let her sink into the pillow-top mattress. The luxurious down pillow and high thread count of the sheets didn't match the farmhouse. As I thought about the custom-made tree-trunk coffee table in the living room, and the seventy-inch flat screen, I decided that wasn't true. There were a few oddly placed expensive items peppered inside the old, outdated house. That puzzled me, much like the tiny woman with a huge set of balls holding the rifle in the living room.
I waited to be sure Zoe was sound asleep, and then stepped into the living room, listening to Ashley weep quietly on Cooper's shoulder. She was asking the mystery woman how her father died and about a woman named Leah. The answers were vague, I assumed on purpose. The details didn't really matter, only that two girls had lost their father, and everything they expected to find here was gone with him.
Cooper held Ashley as she shook and moaned, rubbing at her face and raking her back in frustration as she bounced between devastation and anger. Finally, she met the woman's eyes.
“Why are you here, Scarlet?”
Scarlet sighed, and then scratched her head. “It seemed like the safest place, and I knew there was a chance my girls would come here.”
Ashley sat up as Scarlet sat down on the couch. She seemed to be suddenly exhausted, as if saying the words out loud took the last bit of energy she had.
Ashley sniffed and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her jacket. “Why aren't they with you?”
I braced myself for what she might say.
Scarlet fidgeted, clearly trying not to break down. Ashley obviously knew her, but from what I could gather from the bit of conversation I'd caught earlier, their father's significant other was buried outside with him. The woman sitting on the couch didn't seem to be family, so I wondered how she would know about this place, so far removed from everything.
“Scarlet?” Ashley prodded. “Where are your girls?”
“They're coming.”
“Here?” Ashley said, sounding surprised. “How do you know?”
“Because I left them a message. On Andrew's wall.”
The conversation made less sense as it went along, and Ashley didn't seem to understand, either. Agitated, Scarlet stood up and disappeared into the back of the house. Ashley and Cooper traded glances, and then we all looked to the side door leading to wherever the father was buried. Bryce was leading Miranda inside the house, shutting the wooden door. The bottom half was wood, the top half Plexiglas.
“We're going to need to board that up,” I said. “Tonight.”
Joey nodded and stood up from the corner. I'd almost forgotten he was here, he'd been so quiet. “I'll help you.”
Bryce jerked his head toward the door, careful not to take his arms from around Miranda. “There should be some leftover wood in the barn. Be careful. There's a bull out there.”
As Joey passed Miranda, she watched him walk by, and I assumed by the way her eyes fell to the floor that something wasn't right. I had been conditioned by Aubrey for years to detect a problem and buffer it before it got too far out of control. These people were still strangers, but I had a very real fear that if the delicate fibers of our group broke down, Joey, my daughter, and I would be the first to go. The others seemed to know each other. We were the outsiders, and I needed to ensure my and Zoe's place here.
With the flashlight Scarlet had given me, I shined the light around in the darkness until it highlighted the side of the barn. I could already hear the grunts and movements of the bull. Fortunately the boards were in a different part of the barn than where the animal was corralled.
“Let's get this and get back in,” I said. “We don't want anything sneaking up on us out here.”
Joey nodded and lifted a stack of boards up into his arms with a grunt. I picked a stack as well, and we made our way back to the house. Scarlet brought a small, red, carry toolbox and set it on top of the dryer. “I didn't board this because there aren't many nails left.”
“We'll make do,” I said, pulling the hammer out of the box. As I hit the nail head and watched it slide easily through the board to the wood on the other side, I thought of Gary and Eric from the church in Fairview, and wondered if they were alive. And then I thought of Skeeter, and of Jill, and their unborn baby. I hadn't had much time to mourn them, so I took out my anger and pain on each nail as I buried it into the boards.
The last nail was used to secure the second board horizontally across the center of the Plexiglas. It wasn't enough, but it would keep something out long enough to give us time to react.
We left the stack of wood in the laundry room, and returned to the living room, where Miranda and Ashley were comforting each other. Scarlet had rejoined the group, sitting in the same spot she couldn't stand to be in less than half an hour before. I wondered about her daughters and why they weren't with her, but didn't want to upset her again by asking. I followed her eyes to a frame on the wall across the room. A creased picture of Scarlet, a man, and two girls was inside.
Beyond the walls of the farmhouse was blackness only a place far away from city lights could provide. Even the moon had hidden away behind thick clouds. Scarlet stood up and busied herself with pulling hanging dark sheets across the wooden slats, and then brought a box of matches to light a few candles around the room. We sat in silence for what seemed like forever, and then a low rumble echoed from miles away.
“Thunder,” Ashley said, looking around.
“I noticed some pretty dark blue clouds back there,” Scarlet said, pointing her thumb to the east. “The wind is blowing west.”
“It won't miss us this time,” Joey said.
Scarlet glanced at the soldier, and a light of recognition touched her eyes. Joey met her stare, seeming hopeful that she might say something. Scarlet was the first to look away. The awkwardness between everyone was bugging the shit out of me.
“So are you guys family?” I said to Miranda, motioning to Scarlet.
Miranda shook her head. “Scarlet works with my dad . . .
worked
with my dad.”
Scarlet nodded and smiled. “I'm an X-ray tech. Miranda's dad is Dr. Hayes.”
“
Was
Dr. Hayes,” Miranda corrected, staring at the flame dancing above the candle on the coffee table.
“Stop it,” Ashley hissed.
“I've been so mean to him,” Miranda said, holding her shaking hand to her mouth. “I'll never get to tell him I'm sorry. I'll never get to talk to him again.”
Bryce squeezed her to his side. His eyes were moist, too, and it was apparent that the boys were close with the doctor as well. “He knew you were having a tough time with the divorce. He knew you loved him.”
“Did he?”
Ashley lost her battle to hold in a sob. She kneeled in front of Miranda and then rested her head on her sister's knees.
Scarlet nodded. “He knew, Miranda. I promise, he did.”
Miranda and Ashley cried together again, with Bryce and Cooper on each side.
“Did everyone that Dr. Hayes worked with know where he lived?” I asked. The more they talked, the more confused I became.
Scarlet seemed to be amused by my nosey question. “I cleaned for him when I was in X-ray school.” Her eyes glistened. “He was very kind to me. They both were.”
“Both?”
“Wes and Leah,” Scarlet said.
Ashley leaned against Cooper, thinking fondly of the two. “Leah was my dad's girlfriend. She was very sweet.”
“She was,” Cooper nodded.
Ashley shook her head slowly. “I can't believe she's gone. That they're gone.” She looked to her sister. “I hate this. I want to wake up and this all be a bad dream.” She began to rock back and forth a bit, struggling with the new reality we all faced. “I don't want this.”
“None of us do,” Miranda snapped. She sighed, realizing she was too harsh. “We've had a long day. Bryce and I will take my room; Ashley and Coop have their own. Scarlet, I guess you've been sleeping in dad's room?”
Scarlet nodded. “Yes, but the girl is in there. I'll take the couch.”
“You sure?” I said.
Scarlet offered a small smile, and then looked to Joey. “There is a couch downstairs in the basement, but it might not be big enough for you. I can switch with you if you'd like.”
Joey shook his head. “The basement sounds good to me. I'll make a pallet if I have to.”
“I'll show you the linen closet,” Scarlet said, standing. That prompted everyone else to stand, and Scarlet laughed once without humor. “I'm glad you all made it,” she said, her voice breaking. “I was afraid I was the only one left.”
Scarlet could clearly take care of herself, and wasn't the slightest bit fragile, but something about the way her voice broke made me want to pull her into my arms and hold her. She and Joey walked away, and the distance created lessened my urge to comfort her. I shook my head and silently scolded myself. I'd just met her, and she probably didn't need anyone to make her feel better, anyway, not that there was any way for someone to feel better about being separated from their children in days like these.
I went into the doctor's bedroom and closed the French doors behind me, sliding quietly under the covers beside Zoe. Even as I thought about the horrors of the last few days, warmth washed over me, comforted by the knowledge that this was the safest place to raise my little girl. At least until someone found a cure for the sickness that had taken so much from everyone under that roof. Knowing we weren't alone and that we were still waiting for others was the most comforting. That was a hope I would help Scarlet hang on to.
Chapter Nineteen
Miranda
I
'
D IMAGINED SO MANY TIMES
in the last week what it would feel like to finally lie down in my bed, to feel the safety of the walls that my dad's house provided, but even under a familiar comforter, my head resting on a pillow I'd picked out myself, I didn't feel at home. I felt sick, displaced, and afraid.
Bryce was lying behind me, his body outlining mine. My body was nearly in a ball, but Bryce made sure to surround me with his warmth and love, as if it would keep reality away.
“I can't remember the last thing I said to him, but I don't think it was anything nice,” I whispered.
“He was excited that you were coming. If you weren't nice to him, he obviously didn't notice.”
“I wanted to hug him.” I sniffed, turning my head so the sleeve of my zipup hoodie could catch more tears. “Getting here and being safe meant him being here to protect us. I don't know where my mom is, and my dad is dead. Leah's dead. I have no one.”
Bryce propped his head up with his hand. “You have Ashley, and you have me.”
Those words should have offered more comfort than they did. I lay there until the rain began to patter on the roof and Bryce's breathing turned deep, and rhythmic. The lightning cast quick flashes and shadows on the wall, including my own as I quietly snuck to the door and into the living room.
Scarlet was asleep on the couch, a rifle nestled in her arms like a child. She'd always been kind to us, and her little girls were so sweet. Once when Dad made Ashley and I help him burn brush, Jenna and Halle helped, too, entertaining us so much that by the time we were finished, it barely seemed like we'd started.
I crept over to the front door and twisted the knob.
“I wouldn't,” Scarlet whispered in the dark.
I jumped, and then when my nerves stopped trying to jump out of my skin, I sat on the rocking chair adjacent to the couch Scarlet was resting on.
“That was smart. The cans, I mean. I would have never thought of it.”
She didn't raise her head, and if she hadn't spoken to me moments before, I would have thought she was still asleep. Lightning lit up the room for a second, and I caught sight of a tear dripping from her nose.
“They're probably worried about you, too,” I said. Trying to comfort someone else made me feel better. It kept my mind off the fact that I was probably an orphan.
“I worry about them being outside in this weather,” Scarlet said, sitting up. “I worry that Andrew was hurt or killed and they're alone.”
“Worrying won't help them.”
“I know,” she said quietly. “You shouldn't go outside. I've watched out the window at night. Sometimes I catch glimpses of shufflers in the fields. They're not that fast, and not that smart. Getting caught off guard is how they get you. That, or getting caught in a big group of them like on the highway.”
“By Shallot?”
Scarlet nodded.
“We've been staying there. In Shallot. They were all on the highway, but now they're in town.”
“You sure about that?”
“Someone ran their car into the gas station. Blew up. Drew them all back in.”
Scarlet's eyebrows pulled in, and she closed her eyes. “Was it a white Tahoe?”
“Huh?”
“The car that hit the station. Was it a white Tahoe?”
“No. Is that what your ex drives?”
Scarlet opened her eyes and sighed.
“So they're with him.”
After a short pause, Scarlet rested her elbows on her knees. “I hope so. Andrew picked them up from school. By the time I got off work and everything went to shit, they were in Anderson.”
I waited, watching her eyes search the darkness for something.
“I tried to get to them,” she said. Her breath caught sharply. “I snuck into town. They weren't home. The town was overrun. I didn't know what to do.” Her voice broke, and she covered her mouth with a trembling hand. “So I left them a message to come here. I'm not sure it was the right decision . . . to leave. Did I abandon them?”
“I saw you,” I said. Scarlet's head jerked up to meet my eyes. “In that Jeep. I saw you heading toward Fairview on the highway. You got past them?”
“Past who?” Scarlet asked.
“The kids with the guns. On the bridge.”
“Yeah,” she said quietly, looking down. “I got past them.”
“You're lucky,” I said. “We were stuck under the overpass. They opened fire on everyone.”
Scarlet offered a small, tired smile. “I guess you were lucky, too.”
“Who shot at you?” A deep voice said. I turned to see Joey standing in the dark kitchen.
“Jesus, you scared the shit out of me,” Scarlet said, blowing out a quick breath.
“Menâkids, actuallyâat the Anderson bridge had guns, shooting at anyone trying to get in,” I said, watching Joey sit on the carpet next to me.
“Good thing we ran out of gas. We were headed to Anderson. Dana's dad lived there.”
“Small world,” Scarlet said, her smile fading.
Joey sighed. “Even smaller now.”
We sat in silence for a while, listening to the thunder rumble and the lightning crack across the sky. The sky opened up and rain poured down, drenching the farmhouse until it moved slowly toward Shallot and then Fairview. I thought of the dead ones, if they even noticed the storm, and of the small children in Shallot with the milky eyes that just a few days ago might have been terrified of thunder and lightning. They were now ambling outside, impervious to the rain, the wind, and the monsters walking alongside them.
“Dana liked storms,” Joey said. “She would have wanted to go outside and dance in the rain.”
“Dana is your wife?” Scarlet said.
“She was going to be.”
“You lost her,” Scarlet said, more a statement than a question.
“A couple of times.”
Scarlet's eyebrows pulled together. I thought about explaining, but it wasn't my story to tell.
“You saw my father?” I asked.
“I saw him at work,” she said. “He was really excited about you girls coming here for the weekend. It was all he talked about.”
Tears burned my eyes again.
Scarlet continued, “We were busy, so I didn't get to talk to him much. Mostly just that morning . . .” Scarlet seemed to get lost in a thought, and then she looked up. “Joey?”
“Yeah?”
“You said your girlfriend's name was Dana?” Joey nodded and Scarlet shook her head. “Was she at the hospital Friday?”
Joey nodded.
“I met her!” Scarlet said. She smiled and touched her chest. “I did her exam! She met Miranda's dad!”
Scarlet's smile seemed so out of place for the discussion, but I was waiting for Joey's reaction. At first, he just stared back at her blank-faced, and then a small smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “She was beautiful.”
Scarlet nodded emphatically. “Oh my God, she was. Crazy about you, too. You being there was so comforting to her.”
Joey nodded. Even in the dim light, I could see his eyes fill with tears.
Scarlet yawned. “Wow. Crazy how we all ended up here,” she said. She lay on the couch, and used her bent arm as a Âpillow.
Joey and I stood; that was our cue. Joey walked a few steps toward the laundry room, and then stopped and turned. “I don't sleep much. You're welcome to hang out downstairs with me, if you want.”
I knew I shouldn't. I looked to Scarlet for judgment or guidance, but her eyes were already closed. “Okay,” I said, following him downstairs. I'd been up and down that stairway so many times since my father had bought that ranch, but this time was different. My blood rose to the surface of my cheeks, and burned hotter with every step. When we walked into the vast space of the finished basement, Joey raised his arms.
“Welcome to my place.”
I smiled. “Technically, it's my place.”
Joey sat on the floor, and I sat on the loveseat. I glanced to each side of me, amused that Scarlet had to guess if he would fit. His legs from thighs down would have hung off the end.
We spent hours talking about how long my father had owned the ranch, how Ashley and I spent our summers there, and the stupid predicaments we would get into, like the time she lost her shoe in the mud because we snuck out in the middle of the night to meet Bryce and his friends so they could drive us to the Diversion Dam for Matt Painter's kegger.
It felt good to laugh and remember things that didn't mean anything at the time. Any good memories were everything now.
Joey's eyes began to redden and droop, and I was finally feeling the effects of exhaustion myself, so I stood and headed for the stairs. Something stopped me, and I turned.
“Joey?”
“Yeah?”
“Why did it make you so happy to know that Scarlet did Dana's exam? Wasn't she really sick then?”
Joey nodded. “Yeah, but . . . I don't know. Talking to someone else who knew Dana when she was alive makes her real, you know? It's easy to forget that our lives before weren't a dream. This isn't the reality, how we're meant to live, or who we are. The people we were seven days ago . . . that is who we are, and Scarlet remembering Dana when she was alive makes that true.”
I shook my head. I still didn't understand.
Joey shrugged. “It feels good to know she lives in someone else's memory, too.”
I offered a small smile, and shoved my hands in the pockets of my hoodie. “Goodnight.”
Nathan
MY EYES PEELED OPEN
,
AND
it took a moment for me to recall where I was and why. Simultaneously, I remembered that Zoe was supposed to be asleep next to me, and realized that her side of the bed was empty. In a panic, I scrambled over the bed and ran through the French doors to the living room. Zoe was sitting at the head of the dining room table, chomping away on Frosted Mini-Wheats and chatting Scarlet's ear off.
Scarlet was sitting in the chair next to Zoe, her chin resting in her hand, listening intently to every word my daughter uttered. Zoe and Scarlet mirrored each other's happiness in that moment, and I got a little choked up at the sight of them. Zoe's sweet smile had returned, and Scarlet's fiery red hair glowed in the morning sun that poured through cracks in the wooden slats on the window. I wasn't sure I'd seen anything more beautiful.
Once Scarlet caught a glimpse of me, she pushed away from the table and went outside. Zoe took another bite, and I winked at her before joining Scarlet on the porch. She was staring down the dirt road, longing for her daughters, I imagined.
“My daughter Halle isn't much older than Zoe,” she said, covering her mouth with a few of her fingers. Her pink nail polish was nearly completely chipped away, but her fingers were still elegant.
“How old is the other one? You have two, right?”
Scarlet cast a curious glance in my direction.
“The picture on the wall.”
“Just the two,” she said with a guarded smile. “Jenna is thirteen.” I laughed once, and Scarlet nodded. “Boy, is she ever.”
“I can't imagine.”
“You will,” she said. Her smile faded. “They were supposed to meet me here if something happened. They were with their father when . . . I couldn't get to them.”
“They know their way?”
She nodded. “Halle made up a song. She makes up a song for everything. It used to drive me crazy. I try to remember some of them, but I can't,” she whispered the last bit. “Having all of Halle's artwork from school all over my Suburban was maddening. I remember getting on her case for it so many times. I wish to God I had just one piece of that now. That picture is all I have of them.”
Her blue eyes glistened, and I fought the urge to wrap my arms around her. Before that thought was complete, her soft, red hair was under my chin, and her hands were interlocked at the small of my back. It took me a moment to realize what was happening, but then I rested my cheek against her hair and squeezed her tight. She wept quietly in my arms, and I waited patiently until she stopped shaking.
She let go first, and wiped her eyes. “I'm sorry. That was probably a weird thing to do.”
“Nothing is weird anymore,” I said with a half-smile.
She laughed, for maybe the first time since this all started. It sounded like music and sunshine. “That's true.” Her eyes wandered back to the crest of the hill, and we waited in silence for a while until Zoe called for me. I left her alone to tend to my daughter. After an hour, Zoe tugged on my slacks.
“Is she going to stay out there all day?”
“I don't know,” I said. Scarlet hadn't moved. She watched the road like she was expecting her children to come over the hill at any moment.
Minutes later, Scarlet tore herself away and came back in, immediately checking the nails in the slats, and then finding things to organize or clean.
Miranda and Bryce emerged from their bedroom. Miranda's eyes were swollen. It looked like she'd been crying again. Bryce was holding her hand, and squeezed it once before letting go to make them some breakfast.
“We should be careful what we consume,” Joey said. “We'll probably have to go back to Shallot eventually for supplies.”
“Not for a while,” Bryce said, opening the cabinet. It was stocked full. “There is a pantry, too. A big one.”
“What about the water situation?” Joey asked.
“Well,” Ashley said, following Cooper out of her room. They were more affectionate toward one another than Bryce and Miranda. They reached out to touch each other recurrently, like a dolphin rising to the surface for air.
“Well what?” Joey said.
Ashley smiled. “Water well.”
“Is it electric?” Joey asked.
“The pump is,” Scarlet said. “Why?”
“How much longer will we have electricity, and what will we do for water when we don't?” Joey said matter-of-factly.