Red Dust Dreaming (19 page)

Half an hour later she was dressed and ready. Hair blow-dried, makeup on. Lizzie inspected her image in the mirror. “Elizabeth” stared back at her. She was as ready as she'd ever be. Checking her watched showed ten minutes to go. She knocked at the dividing door and pushed it open. Caden and Luke were sprawled on the bed with the television on. Both had wet hair and were half dressed.

“Wow! Where are you going all dressed up like that?” Caden sat up, his eyes alight.

“Meeting Dad in the bar at four. I think it's best if Luke stays here with you. I want to get the lie of the land.”

“Sure. I don't think Luke will mind.” Luke gave every indication he hadn't heard their conversation.

“Right.” Lizzie stood up straight and took a deep breath. “Wish me luck.”

***

“Dad.” Lizzie leaned in and gave her father a kiss on the cheek. He'd been sitting at the bar with his back to the room confident she'd find him. Gerald Langtree turned and released on of his movie-star smiles. He smelt good.

“Elizabeth! Good to see you. Where's Luke?” His visage clouded for a nanosecond before he regained control.

“Upstairs.” She offered no explanation or apology.

“You left him alone?”

“Not exactly. He's with Caden.” She slid onto the stool next to her father.

“What's he doing here?” Gerald made no effort to hide his displeasure this time. “That bastard has no right…”

Lizzie laid her hand on her father's arm. “He practically raised the boy and he was there at Angela's death. He has every right.” She spoke firmly hoping he wouldn't challenge her.

“You know he's after the money don't you? I can see he's got to you just like he got to Angela,” Gerald muttered as he signalled the bar tender. “He seduced her and I bet he's seduced you too.”

Lizzie blushed under her father's scrutiny.

“I knew it!” Gerald brought his fist down on the bar.

“No one is seducing anyone,” Lizzie said. “He didn't know about Luke's inheritance. Nobody did.”

“Yeah, right!”

“Dad! What's got into you?” Annoyance surged through her. She'd had enough of her father's show pony tactics. “What I want to know is how did you know about the money?” She crossed her arms and waited.

“Investigator,” he said simply busying himself with his drink.

“Mmm…so you say.” She wasn't convinced.

“Look, the money doesn't matter to me. I just don't want some grubby farmer getting his hands on it.”

“Caden Carlyle is far from a grubby farmer as you so eloquently put it. He has a ranch the size of a small European country.”

“Never did like Europeans.”

“Dad! Honestly, you are being impossible. How's Mother?” Lizzie changed the subject.

“Anxious to have you and Luke home where she can take care of you.”

Lizzie looked at him open mouthed. You're kidding! “Shame she couldn't come along.”

“Commitments. You know how she is with those charities of hers.”

“Such a dedicated woman.” Sarcasm dripped from Lizzie's words. She was having none of it.

Gerald spun on his stool and faced her, taking one of her hands in his. “Look Queen Bess, all your Mother and I want is the chance to make up for the past. We know we could have done better with you girls. Lord knows you told us often enough. Maybe we can do better with Luke.”

Lizzie's vision clouded with unexpected tears. For the first time in her life her father was admitting he could have done better. Words she'd waited a long time to hear. “Let's take it slow,” she said in a voice thick with emotion.

“Not too slow,” Gerald laughed, “I'm not getting any younger.”

“How about we take a few days for Luke to get to know you. It's a big shift for a little boy and he's been through a lot.”

Gerald nodded. “Sounds reasonable. But I don't want that Caden character hanging about.”

“Too bad,” she said coolly. “He's part of the package. Luke needs stability and whether you like it or not right now that's Caden.”

“Fine,” said Gerald with poor grace. “What do you suggest?”

“Let's start with a day at the zoo? Everybody loves the zoo.”

They couldn't have asked for a better day. Blue sky stretched from horizon to horizon decorated with marshmallow clouds. The sun blazed down, offset by a gentle wind blowing in from the sea. Lizzie sat on a bench at Taronga Park Zoo and marvelled at the view across Sydney Harbour. “This place must have the best view of any zoo in the world.”

Caden slid in beside her. "Looks like things are going well," he nodded in the direction of Gerald and Luke. Gerald gave Luke his full attention while Luke picked out an ice cream.

"He's trying really hard." Lizzie smiled. "Making up for poor performance as a parent."

Caden grunted, a sound of the unconvinced. "He better not break Luke's heart."

"I'll see to that." Lizzie put a hand on Caden's thigh and he covered it with his own. They had made love only once, the air between them charged with sexual energy seeking release.

Caden surveyed the view. They had travelled by ferry across the bay. Luke had been beside himself with excitement. Not only was it the first time he had ever seen the sea the ferry represented the first ever boat he'd encountered also. Caden rubbed a thumb over the back of her hand. She watched him in profile looking for a sign of what he might be thinking. The situation had to hurt, had to stir up all kinds of unpleasant feelings, yet he revealed none of them to her.

The sound of Luke's laughter reached them on the breeze.

"Luke seems to like him," Caden muttered grimly.

"Yes he does. Of course he doesn't know Gerald. He's just a jovial old man with ice cream money." The need to reassure Caden was strong.

Caden shrugged. "Gerald is his grandfather, a link to his mother."

"So are you."

"It's different and you know it." He turned his dark eyes on her and she glimpsed the depths of his sorrow.

"We'll work something out," she whispered. "I promise."

"I just don't understand why Angela didn't nominate a guardian. She goes to all this trouble to provide financial security for Luke but not a guardian? Doesn't sound like her at all. Are you sure there's nothing in the will? Did you read it through properly?"

Lizzie bristled. "I'm a lawyer Caden, may I remind you. I read contract documents for a living. What's a will if it's not a contract document? And this one involves my family. Of course I read it properly." Her secret grated on her heart.

"Fine," he sighed returning to the view.

“You can read it for yourself if you like.”

Before Caden could answer Luke came racing down the path. "Look Caden, I've got bubble gum flavoured ice cream." His grin reached from ear to ear. "Can we go and look at the meerkats now?”

"Sure thing, little mate." Caden ruffled Luke's hair and Luke grabbed his hand pulling him off the bench.

"Come on!" The pair of them moved off and Gerald fell in beside Lizzie.

"He's a lovely little boy."

"He certainly is," Lizzie agreed.

"I really do want to make this work. I want to make it up to Angela. I know she wasn't happy. We never understood her, didn't get her."

Lizzie nodded not trusting words.

"Maybe we can do better with Luke," Gerald continued. “Rectify our mistakes.”

Maybe they could. Was this what Angela hoped for when she gave Lizzie the awful job of deciding her son's fate? That their parents would redeem themselves through her son? Her eyes sought Caden in the crowd. He stood a good head higher than everyone else. Taking Luke from him would break his heart. What would that mean for their relationship? Would he be able to forgive her once he knew it had been her decision? And what about Luke? How would he feel being taken away from the only home he'd ever known? None of these questions were new. She'd spent hours grappling with each of them in turn. The difference now was she'd run out of time. She had no choice but to make the hardest choice of all.

"So where's Angela's will?" Gerald spoke with feigned nonchalance.

Lizzie let the silence stretch between them before finally answering. "In a safe place."

"Caden's got it, that bastard!" Gerald's animosity towards the younger man was never far from the surface.

"Actually he's never seen it."

"Then who has it?"

Lizzie wanted to tell him it was none of his business, that he couldn't manipulate this situation to suit his own needs. "I told you, it's in a safe place."

"So you've read it." It was a statement rather than a question.

"Yes," she said simply. Sooner or later he'd know the truth anyway.

"Who does she give Luke to? There must be some instruction."

"She gives Luke to me."

"To you!" Gerald stopped walking in surprise. He put a hand on her arm halting her mid-stride. "Why you?"

"Why not?" she asked, annoyed at his surprise. "I can take perfectly good care of him."

"Of course you can," Gerald hastily backed up. "I'm just surprised that's all. The two of you had little contact over the years."

Lizzie hesitated telling her father the truth. Angela had given Luke to her in a way. She'd given him into her care for the time being. Lizzie had become the gatekeeper to Luke's future. Didn't hurt for her father to be on the back foot for a moment.

"When are you coming back to New York?" He broke the silence.

"No idea. When we get this mess sorted out." She watched Luke as he excitedly pointed out the meerkats to Caden. They both laughed at the little animals antics. Maybe they could arrange for Luke to visit Caden once a year? The situation might work. Luke needed to know his family and he needed to be exposed to the world. Living in the Outback isolated him too much. Watching him discover Sydney and all the delights a city had to offer convinced her of that. Still, the question of Caden hovered. She sighed. Someone's heart was going to be broken and she was the one to do the breaking.

"Dad, I haven't been entirely honest with you." She turned to Gerald searching his face for confirmation she'd made the right decision. "Angela gave me the task of finding the right guardian for Luke. I am to decide who gets to raise him."

Gerald's eyebrows shot skywards as he processed the new information. "You'll do the right thing and pick family of course." Again it wasn't a question.

She looked back at Luke, her heart heavy. Lizzie had wanted to have this conversation with Caden first. Had she picked her family over Caden? The words would not pass her lips. Something held her back. She needed to tell Caden first. She owed him that much.

"A decision is in hand," she said brightly linking her arm with his and gently pulling him along. "Let's concentrate on having a nice day." The beaming grin on Gerald's face indicated he believed he's won custody. Let him think so if it made for a pleasant day. It might be the last Caden and Luke shared.

Three hours later Lizzie paced up and down her hotel room gnawing on her fingernails, nerves clawing the pit of her stomach. She'd arranged for Gerald to spend some time with Luke so she could speak in private with Caden. She stopped in front of the connecting door and closed her eyes. Now or never. Taking a deep breath she knocked on the door before pushing it open. “Hello?”

Caden was sprawled across the bed, one hand behind his head and the television on softly in the corner. “Hi.” His eyes lit up at the sight of her. “I was hoping you'd pay me a visit.” He patted the bed next to him. “Come and join me.”

Lizzie throat constricted so tightly she feared she wouldn't be able to speak. Wringing her hands together she stepped closer to the bed.

“What's wrong? Is it Luke?” He sat bolt upright ready to leap into action.

“No… and yes,” she said miserably. “I have to tell you something and I know you're going to be really angry when you hear it.”

Caden stilled, all warmth retracting. “Yes.” His careful tone told her he was braced for the worst. And that's what he was going to get.

“Angela did make provision for Luke's guardian, well sort of.”

“What do you mean?” He narrowed his eyes and the stubborn set of his jaw told her she was about to pass the point of no return with him.

Sweat broke out at the nape of Lizzie's neck and the back of her hands prickled. “She asked me to choose a guardian.” Lizzie closed her eyes waiting for the explosion which must follow. But there was nothing. She opened one eye cautiously. Cold eyes stared at her from a stony face.

“You knew this all along?”

She nodded. “I didn't know how to tell you and things were… different between us when I first found out.”

“And did Thelma know about this too?”

“Oh no! I really don't think so. I mean, I don't know exactly …”

He crossed his arms, his eyes shuttered. “So are you here to tell me your decision?”

“That's just it! I can't make one. Every time I see you and Luke together I think yes, this is how it's meant to be. Then I see my Dad trying so hard and I think maybe he deserves the chance to make things up to Angela. Maybe that's why she asked me to do this so I could be sure Dad and Mother were ready.”

“I see.” The cold emanated off of him in waves.

“Please understand. This is super hard for me,” she begged. She was losing him, she could feel it.

“Hard for you?” Here it came, his anger. At least she could deal with anger instead of this icy façade, impossible to crack. “I'm losing my son, Elizabeth. Neither you nor your father even knew the boy existed a month ago and here you are claiming him. What gives you the right?”

“Blood?” she ventured knowing the minute the word left her lips it was the wrong thing to say.

“Yeah and look where blood got the Langtrees so far. Good job. A fractured family who can't stand each other. Great legacy for Luke don't you think?”