Reckless Heart (Kauffman Amish Bakery 5.5) (22 page)

“Yeah,” he said, folding his arms over his chest. “I made a few more trips to your house to bring more people out to the hospital. You have a big community.”

“I appreciate your help so much today,” she said, holding out her hand. “You really are a blessing to us.”

“You’re welcome.” Tristan shook her hand. “I’m glad I could help. Your uncle told me Ruthie has pneumonia. I’m sorry to hear that, but I heard from another member of your community that the doctors here are very good. I bet she’ll
be just fine. We’re going to add her to our prayer chain at church.”

“Thank you,” Lydia said. “I have faith too, and I know you’re right.” She introduced Tristan to her cousins, and the three of them sat and talked together for a long while.

Later that evening, Tristan gave several members of the community a ride home while others called drivers or used taxis to get back to Joshua’s house to collect their horses and buggies. Lydia sat on the porch at her house with Joshua while they watched the buggies in the distance move down his driveway toward the road.

“When are they moving Ruthie to Hershey?” Joshua asked.

“Tomorrow,” Lydia said with a deep sigh. “My
mamm
is spending the night at the hospital and will travel with her.”

“But the doctors said she was doing better,
ya
?” Joshua asked.

“That’s what my
dat
said. Her oxygen level was much better, and she seemed to be responding to the medication.” She gave him a weak smile. “It’s the best news we could hope for. She’s not home, but she’s doing better. That’s what I asked God for, and he answered.”

“
Ya
, he did.” Joshua stood and stretched. “I better get home before my
mamm
starts calling for me. I’ll come by and visit you tomorrow night. Would that be okay?”

“That would be
wunderbaar gut
.” She stood, hoping for a hug before he left.

Leaning down, he pressed his lips to hers, sending liquid heat through her veins. She held her breath, savoring his touch.
So much better than a hug!

He touched her hand. “
Gut nacht, mei
Lydia.”

“Gut
nacht
,” she echoed. “See you tomorrow.”

Joshua loped down the stairs toward the pasture. Lydia leaned on the railing and watched him disappear by the barn. She couldn’t stop the smile forming on her lips. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined Joshua would kiss her like that so soon, and he’d kissed her twice in one day.
Yes, things are definitely looking up!

She started toward the front door, but stopped when she heard a horse clip-clopping up the driveway. She descended the stairs and walked over to the driveway to see who was coming for an unexpected visit.

The buggy stopped in front of her, and Lydia was surprised when Barbie climbed out from the passenger side.

“Lydia,” Barbie said. “Stephen was just taking me home, but I was wondering if I could have a quick word with you.”

“Of course.” Lydia stepped over to Barbie and waved to Stephen, who sat in the driver’s seat.

He gave a quick wave in response.

“I wanted to apologize to you,” Barbie began. “I was wrong about your
freind
.”

Lydia raised her eyebrows. “My
freind
?”

“
Ya
,” Barbie said. “Your
English freind
, Tristan, drove me and a few others to the hospital, and I spoke to him in the car. He’s a
gut
Christian bu, just like you said. He was very worried about Ruthie, and he spoke of God’s love and having faith in his healing. I also spoke to his
daed
in the waiting room, and he too was very faithful to God and positive that things would be okay.” She frowned. “I’m so sorry for assuming the worst about him. I was very wrong, and I feel just terrible about it.”

Lydia hugged Barbie. “You don’t need to apologize. We all make wrong assumptions at times.”

“
Danki
,” Barbie said. “I was hoping for your forgiveness.”

Lydia smiled. “How could I not forgive you, my dear
freind
?” She took a deep breath. “I have something to tell you.”

“What?” Barbie asked, looking excited.

“I’ve realized that I do want to be the teacher next year. I want to speak to the school board when the time is right.”

“Oh, Lydia!” Barbie clapped her hands together. “That is
wunderbaar gut
news! We’ll speak to the school board in a few weeks,
ya
?”

“That would be perfect,” Lydia said.

“I better go,” Barbie said, stepping toward the buggy. “We’ll talk soon.
Gut nacht
, Lydia. Please tell your parents that I send my love and prayers for Ruthie.”

“I will.” Lydia waved to Barbie and Stephen as they drove down the driveway.

Lydia climbed up onto the porch and then looked back at the sun as it began to set in the sky. She smiled and headed into the house.

L
ydia stood outside the one-room schoolhouse and smoothed her dark blue dress with her hands. The past six weeks had flown by at lightning speed. After spending two weeks in the hospital at Hershey due to her case of pneumonia, Ruthie had come home and then returned to the Hershey hospital for more treatments. When she and her mother had come home on Tuesday, Ruthie was tired, but she looked better than she had in months.

Lydia’s mother wasn’t quite as stressed out as she had been either. Their family was falling into a routine with Ruthie’s illness. With school out, Titus and Irma were helping more around the house and the farm. Her father was still working long hours, but he was in the process of applying for state assistance with their medical bills, and he seemed more at ease with the debt they were facing. All in all, things were becoming more “normal,” and Lydia was ready to look toward her future as the possible teacher.

Lydia touched her prayer covering and then smoothed her dress again.

“You look
schee
,” Joshua said, touching her hand. “Stop fussing.”

She looked up into his eyes and blew out a nervous sigh. “
Danki
for saying that I look
schee
, but I want to look better than pretty. I need to look grown-up, put together, professional.”

“You’re all that and more,” Joshua said with a smile. “That’s why I want you to be my girlfriend.”

She gasped. “You do?”

He laughed. “You haven’t figured that out already? I’ve been spending every moment of my free time with you. Wouldn’t that give you a clue about my feelings? It won’t be official until we join the church in the fall, but I wanted to ask you now.”

“I’d love to be your girlfriend, and I’m really froh,” she said, squeezing his hand. “But I’m about to ask the school board to consider me for the teaching position next year. I can’t discuss my personal life or even kiss you in case they’re looking out the window at me right now. They would be more than displeased if they saw me kissing my boyfriend out in public, in broad daylight, on a Friday afternoon.”

“Then we’ll save the kissing for later on your back porch.” He touched her cheek. “I’ll be happy to wait until then.”

“
Gut
,” Lydia said as she folded her trembling hands over her apron.

The door to the schoolhouse opened, and Barbie hopped down the steps with a smile glimmering on her face.

“I guess that went well,” Joshua said.

“
Ya
,” Barbie said. “They’re ready for you. I told them you would be the best teacher for the class next year. They said they wanted to talk to you about it before they made a decision.”

Lydia bit her bottom lip as doubt and worry coursed through her. “I can’t do it. I’m not ready. I’ll just work at the
bakery. That’s where I belong — with my cousins, my
aentis
, and my
mamm
.”

“Stop being
gegisch
.” Barbie touched Lydia’s arm. “You’re ready. You’re a
wunderbaar gut
teacher. Now go in there and tell the school board how much you want this job.”

Lydia turned to Joshua with a worried expression.

“You look perfect, Lydia,” he said. “Go in there and show them why you’ll be the best teacher our district can have, aside from Barbie.”

With a chuckle, Barbie started toward the road. “I’ll visit you later, and you can tell me how it went.”

Lydia started up the steps and turned back to look at Joshua one last time.

He gave her a wave and his special smile, telling her she would do great.

Placing her hand on the doorknob, she sent a silent prayer up to God, asking him to continue blessing her and her family with his grace. As she moved into the schoolhouse, she knew she was taking a huge step toward her future as the new teacher for the district.

“How’d it go?” Joshua asked as he took her hand while they walked down the road toward her house.

Lydia took a deep breath and tried her best to will her hands to stop trembling. “I think it went well.”

“
Gut
.” He raised his eyebrows. “Are you going to tell me what they asked or is it a secret?”

“I’ll tell you.” Her cheeks blushed. “I just hope you don’t think I’m
gegisch
.”

“Why would I think that?”

“I was so
naerfich
that I worried my answers would be
stupid.” She shook her head. “They asked me why I wanted to be the teacher, and I said I felt as if God had chosen this path for me. I said that my
mammi
told me if the decision felt right then it was God’s path, and this path feels right for me.”

“Wow.” Joshua looked impressed as he swung their entangled hands back and forth as they strolled. “That sounds like a perfect answer to me.”

“They also asked me why I wanted to teach in this district instead of another one.” She hesitated, wondering if she should share that answer with him.

“And …?” He looked expectant. “What did you say?”

Lydia looked up at him. “Promise you won’t think it’s a
gegisch
answer.”

“Lydia,” he began, “nothing you can say would be
gegisch
.”

She laughed. “You’re
narrisch
.”

“That may be true,” he said with a grin. “But I don’t think you could be wrong in anything you say from your heart.”

“
Danki
,” she said, feeling her cheeks flush again. “This is straight from my heart. I told them that deep in my heart I believe my baby
schweschder
is going to be well in the next couple of years, and she’s going to go to school. I explained that I want to be her teacher. I want to have the joy of seeing her play on the playground and recite her multiplication tables at the front of my class. That would be a dream come true for me, and I believe it will happen very soon.”

A glowing smile turned up Joshua’s lips. “I think that is the perfect answer.”

“
Danki
,” she said as they turned up her driveway. “They also asked me to recite the
Ordnung
and they asked how I would deal with behavior issues. I think I answered those correctly, but I was so
naerfich
.”

“I’m certain you did just fine,” Joshua repeated. “You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

Lydia shrugged. “I guess I don’t, but I don’t want to be prideful. It’s a sin.”

“When will you know the answer?”

“I should know in a few days. Maybe they’ll tell me at church on Sunday,” Lydia said as they reached her porch. “I know I won’t sleep until then.”

“I’m very proud of you.” Joshua smiled as they stood at the bottom of the steps.

“
Danki
.” She bit her bottom lip before sharing the thoughts that had been assaulting her mind since she’d spoken to the school board. “I made a decision.”

He raised his eyebrows with interest. “What decision is that?”

She took a deep breath. “If I’m going to be the teacher, then I need to be a proper role model. I have to tell my parents the truth about what happened that night with Mahlon.”

With a hesitant expression on his face, Joshua rubbed his chin. “Are you certain you want to do that?”

“
Ya
,” Lydia said. “I know that my
dat
just gave me permission to go back to youth gatherings, and I’ll be okay if he takes away that privilege again. I’ll even tell the bishop the truth if they ask me to.” She felt queasy at the thought of facing the bishop, and she quickly pushed the thought away. “I just feel I need to be honest about who I am or I’m not a
gut
role model for my scholars.” She smiled. “My scholars. I like the sound of that.”

Joshua touched her cheek. “You will be a
wunderbaar gut
teacher.”

A voice yelled Joshua’s name from across the pasture.

“I better go,” he said before kissing her cheek. “I promised
my
dat
I’d be back in an hour.” He started across the driveway walking backward. “I’ll see you later tonight?”

“
Ya
,” Lydia said. “See you then.” She gave a little wave and then hurried up the porch steps.

Later that evening, Lydia took a deep, cleansing breath as she headed down the stairs to the family room, where her parents sat reading. Her hands trembled when she reached the bottom step, and they looked up with surprised expressions.

“Lydia?” her mother asked, placing her Bible on the table beside her. “Is everything all right? Are the
kinner
asleep?”

“
Ya
,” Lydia said, fingering her dress. “The
kinner
are fine. Everyone is fast asleep. I was wondering if I could speak with you for a moment.”

“Of course you can,” her father said, closing the
Budget
, their Amish newspaper, and removing his half-glasses. “Was
iss letz
?”

Clearing her throat, Lydia stood before her parents and hoped for the right words. “I need to tell you something important.”

Now her parents exchanged concerned expressions before her father spoke. “Go on. We’re listening.”

“Today I stood before the school board and asked to take the role as the teacher for our district,” she began. “When I did that, I made a commitment to the
kinner
in the community, and I feel that I should be the best role model I can be. If I’m not a
gut
role model, then I’m not a
gut
teacher.”

Her parents nodded, still looking confused.

“When I made the commitment to the
kinner
and to the school board, I realized that I have to be honest with both of
you,” Lydia continued, still nervously fingering the skirt of her dress. “Therefore, I must confess something.”

“Take your time,”
Mamm
said.

“I did something very bad a few months ago, and I’m not proud of it.” Lydia met her father’s cautious stare. “In fact,
Dat
, you asked me about it, and I lied to you.”

His expression grew grim.

“Do you remember when you asked me if I’d been out with Mahlon and his
freinden
?” she asked, her voice quaking as her nerves stood on end.

“
Ya
,” her father said in a hesitant tone.

“I had. Once.” She glanced at her mother, whose mouth gaped with surprise. “It was a stupid mistake, and I did it one night when I was very upset and worried about Ruthie. Josh and Amanda weren’t at the youth gathering, and Nancy was busy with her boyfriend. I felt completely alone, and when Mahlon invited me to spend time with his friends, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I drank beer, and I was tipsy.”

Her mother cupped her hand over her mouth.

“I’m very sorry,” Lydia continued, speaking faster and trying not to stumble over her words. “I know it was wrong, and it was even worse to lie about it. I’ve felt terrible about it, and I wanted to tell you the truth.”

She turned to her father, whose expression was unmoving. “I’ve learned my lesson, and I understand if you want to punish me. Go on and ground me, and I’ll stay home from youth gatherings until I’m eighteen. I’ll even go speak to the bishop if you’d like since my name was never given to him. I understand if you’re upset and disappointed. I’m disappointed in myself.”

To her great surprise,
Dat
smiled.

Lydia gaped.

“I’m very proud of you, Lydia,” he said. “What you just said has shown me that you’re mature.”

“It has?” Lydia asked.

He glanced at
Mamm
, who also looked surprised.

“You’ve shown me that you take the role of teaching seriously, and you’re going to do your best for the
kinner
and the community. You’re thinking of the
kinner
and not yourself. You’ve finally learned how to sacrifice for your community.” He stood and hugged her. “I’m very proud of you.”

“You are?” Lydia studied her father in disbelief. Was he ill? Was he joking? This was not the man with whom she’d argued only a month and a half ago. “Dat, I’m glad you’re proud of me, but I don’t understand. Why aren’t you angry with me? Why aren’t you yelling?”

Dat
chuckled. “Lydia, you were wrong to drink, but you also know that it was wrong. You were very upset about your
schweschder
and how stressful things were at home, and you foolishly followed the wrong path. Now you realize your mistakes, however, and you’re confessing your sins. You’ve grown up.”

“That’s right,”
Mamm
chimed in with a smile. “I’m proud of you too.”

“
Danki
,” Lydia said with hesitation. “Are you going to punish me?”

Her parents looked at each other again and smiled.

“No,” her father said. “
Danki
for telling the truth. But don’t ever lie to me again.”

“I won’t,” Lydia said quickly before they changed their minds. “I’m going to sit outside for a little bit. Joshua said he is going to stop by. I hope that’s all right.”

“Don’t be long,” her mother warned her, suppressing a knowing smile. “It’s getting late.”

“I won’t be late.” Stepping onto the porch, she heaved a sigh of relief that seemed to come from her toes. The discussion had gone much better than she’d ever imagined. She was so thankful she’d told the truth and elated that her parents forgave her. A huge weight had been lifted from her heart, and she felt renewed.

While Lydia awaited Joshua’s visit, she hugged her arms to her chest, lowered herself onto the swing, and contemplated the past six months. Her life had been turned upside down by her sister’s illness, but things were heading back to normal, or as normal as they could be when someone in your family has a chronic illness. In a day or two, she’d find out if she would be the new teacher, and she could now call Joshua Glick her unofficial boyfriend. Yes, things were definitely looking up.

She smiled as she spotted Joshua’s lanky body loping toward her porch, glowing in the light of a battery-powered lantern. He hurried up the steps and stood in front of her.

Before she could greet him, he took her hand, pulled her up to him, and brushed his lips against hers. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.