Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six (32 page)

“He’s ashamed to be seen with our Penny?” Jerry’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. “That bastard! I’ll teach him to toy with a woman’s affections.”

We were nearing the clearing where Penny had lost her mortality. Sure enough, she and Josh were already out of the car and he was lying flat on the ground, staring up at her like he couldn’t believe she’d managed to put him there. Jerry pulled the car to a stop and we both jumped out.

“Stop! Penny, what are you going to do?” I ran up to her. Jerry was on her other side but neither of us touched her. She had tears running down her cheeks and a shoe in each hand.

“Help! The chick’s gone psycho on me. First, she says let’s go park, then she throws me to the ground and threatens me.”

“Death by Payless?” I snickered. “Were you scared, fella? How’d a little thing like Penny manage to throw you anywhere?”

“Caught me by surprise is all.” Josh wouldn’t look at us. He just got to his feet, keeping a good distance between himself and Penny, and brushed off his expensive khakis. “What are you doing here? Oh, never mind. Guess that’s obvious. This is a prime make-out spot. But I’m not letting her get in my car again. Can you take her home?”

“You thinking of abandoning your date? Up here?” Jerry grabbed Josh by the front of his designer shirt.

“What else can I do? She’s nuts. Look at her. She tried to put a high heel into my skull.” Josh’s eyes were saucers as he focused on Jerry. “Uh, what the hell’s going on here?” He’d finally noticed Jerry’s fangs. And, yes, they were huge.

“I’d say you are about to enjoy a little payback for disrespecting Miss Penny here.” Jerry lifted Josh by his shirt and deposited him in front of Penny. “Do what you will, Penny. I certainly won’t stop you.”

“Jerry! I’m supposed to be mentoring Penny. ‘What you will’ sounds a little too much like carte blanche.” I put my hand on Penny’s shoulder. She was shaking.

“You think I’m going to kill him?” She managed a laugh. “As if.”

“What? Kill me? No, hell no.” Josh struggled but Jerry wasn’t letting him go. When the fancy shirt ripped, Jer just shifted his grip to the man’s arms, which made Josh screech.

“Settle down. It’ll only hurt for a short while. Then . . . nothing. If you’re lucky.” Jerry smiled at me. “Gloriana, I believe you were given a description of hell recently. Will Josh here enjoy it?”

“Doubt it. Seems there are all kinds of upgrades. Fiery furnace is out. New tortures are in. The punishment fits the crime.” I gave Josh a thorough head to toe. “Nice-looking. Demons will go for you. So I’d guess if you’re an asshole in life . . . ? Well, I just don’t want to think about what the lowlifes in hell would think you’d earned as your reward down there.” I had no pity to spare for Josh as he began gulping back sobs.

“He was ashamed to be seen with me, Glory.” Penny dropped her shoes and stepped into them, then turned to look at me, her eyes bleak. “That theater in a mall halfway across Austin? To a movie that none of his frat brothers would be caught dead seeing? It was all so no one would catch him with that fat girl he’d invited to the Ugly Chick party.”

“No, I didn’t mean it. I liked that movie. It was the only place it was still playing.” Josh took a big, watery gulp of courage. “You want to go to the party? Let’s go. You and me, right n-n-now.”

“Too little, too late.” Penny wheeled around and got in his face. “Listen to me, Joshua. I can read your thoughts. Get it? Yeah, I’m a genuine freak. Something you’ve never seen before. And something you won’t remember after I get through with you.” She glanced at me. “I haven’t totally lost my mind, Glory.”

“Good to know.” I stayed out of this, pretty sure Penny was in control.

“F-f-freak?” Josh craned his neck, trying to get another look at Jerry’s fangs. His eyes rolled back in his head and I thought he was going to faint, but he had more stones than I’d given him credit for. He gasped when he glanced back at Penny. Now she was letting her own fangs show and they were glistening in the moonlight.

“Yep, I’m a vampire. Newly made the night you dumped me out here.” She poked him in his chest. “I drink blood and your type is extra delicious.” She opened her purse, pulled out a timer, set it and handed it to me, then jerked his hand to her mouth and sank her fangs into the vein at his wrist.

“My God! My God!” Josh screamed and the sound echoed over the hilltop.

“Got to admit, he’s taking this better than I would have thought,” Jerry said conversationally.

“Yes, and Penny is keeping her head.” I patted her on the back. “Good job, fledgling.”

Josh stared at me wild-eyed. “This is not happening. Bad acid. Maybe one of the guys slipped something into my water bottle.”

“Sure, Josh, that’s it.” I grinned and winked. “And that sucking sound Penny is making? That’s a vampire version of a hickey on your wrist. You headed up here with the bright idea that you could make out with her, then take her home. Maybe take it all the way this time. Fat chicks have to be desperate. Am I right?”

“No. I offered to take her somewhere.” He jerked when the timer buzzed.

Penny dropped his arm and raised her head, sighing with pleasure before she took the timer from me, opened her purse and dropped it in. Then she pulled out a wipe, tore it open and blotted the blood off her mouth.

“Delicious. What a shame this didn’t work out. I was sure he’d make a good pet. But who needs this kind of douche bag for any purpose?” She glared at Josh. “Yes, he offered to take me somewhere. Let’s see. Bowling at a lane on the other side of Austin. Or maybe we could hit a game room, same area.” She closed her purse with a snap. “Meanwhile, all his buds are living it up at the frat house with a live band, no DJ, and open bar. Forget the keg.”

“How did you—” Josh winced when Penny jabbed a finger into his midriff.

“Shut the hell up, you lying loser. My sister is going to that party. My
twin
sister. I thought we’d meet up there. Guess we won’t now.” She abruptly turned her back on him so that he wouldn’t see the tears that suddenly filled her eyes. “I’ve had enough fun. Let’s get out of here.”

“Two things you need to do first, Penny.” I was still in mentor mode. “Remember?”

“Oh, yeah.” She blinked, then turned and grabbed his wrist. He tried to wrench free but it was useless. She sneered, then licked the puncture marks closed and they disappeared. Finally, she sighed. “I really wish he could remember this. The whole lesson.”

“Let me take over.” I gently moved her out of the way. I stared into Josh’s eyes until he was under the whammy. “Josh, you brought Penny to this hilltop thinking to score but she told you off. Told you that she had figured out you were a loser and she could do way better. Then she got a ride home with friends who’d followed her up here so she wouldn’t have to waste another minute with you.” I turned him toward his car. “Now you’re going to get in your SUV and you’re driving straight to the frat house. There you’re going to tell all your frat brothers and everyone else at the party that your heart is broken because the beautiful Penny Patterson dumped you on your sorry ass. Got that?”

“Penny dumped me? Heartbroken. Must tell all the brothers.” Josh nodded and walked to his car. He started it and headed down the gravel road.

“Wow. He’ll do it? He’ll tell the whole frat that we dated and I dumped him?” Penny was actually smiling now.

“Yes, indeed. Our power of suggestion isn’t. A suggestion, anyway. It’s a command.” I hooked my arm through hers and shared a smile with Jerry. “Now get in the car and fix your face. Jerry and I are taking you to N-V with us. You look too cute to waste it and I want to dance. I bet Trey gets a break sometime tonight and he’ll want to dance too.”

I gasped when Penny crushed me to her in a hug. “Glory, how can I ever thank you? I thought this was going to be the worst night of my life and you just turned it around.”

“The night is young.” I climbed into the car and checked my own lipstick in the makeup mirror. What a rush. First time to do that in a car. Jerry winked at me, easily reading my mind. Too bad it reminded me of the demons and that issue yet to resolve.

“Yes, Penny, Gloriana and I have learned that a night can turn to crap in a heartbeat.” Jerry patted my knee, then started the car.

“Amen to that, Jer. Amen to that.” I sighed and put my lipstick away. It would be too much to hope that we could just enjoy an uneventful night out.

“
It’s
a good thing you know the owner.” Rafe grinned at me as he had one of his shifters squeeze a table into a corner of the balcony. “I wouldn’t do this for anyone else.”

“And I appreciate it.” I saw Jerry slip a tip to the man who put our spot together. “Thanks, Rafe. You sure it’s okay if Penny just sits at the bar? It won’t get Trey in trouble?”

“No, he’s one of my most reliable guys. And he has a break coming up. He seems into Penny, was really glad to see her.” Rafe quit smiling as Jerry put his arm around me. “I’ll send you a waiter. Got to go.”

“Appreciate the table, Valdez.” Jerry held out my chair.

“Whatever makes Glory happy.” Rafe nodded and headed downstairs.

“Gee, is it chilly in here?” I rubbed my arms.

“You expect me to be friends with the man?” Jerry sat and moved close enough to lean against me. “Never happening. I did thank him. And I can keep you warm if you’re really cold. Though the heat from all these mortals is getting to me. We’d better order some synthetic before I give in to my urges that you don’t approve of.” He looked significantly at the next table where a rowdy group of men and women were obviously not on their first round of drinks. Definitely mortal and even tempting to me.

I put my hand on Jerry’s arm. “Yes, order something. I don’t want to worry if you head to the men’s room and are gone too long.” I glanced around the packed club and over the railing, where bodies positively seethed to the loud music. A band that had just hit the charts with their latest single was scheduled to perform in a few minutes and there was still a line at the door with people willing to pay for standing room.

Jerry signaled a waitress just as I heard the hum of my cell phone vibrating in my purse on the table. I pulled it out, checked the caller ID, and grinned. “Guess who.” I answered the call. “Flo! Where are you?”

“Ricardo and I just got back in town. Where are you? I want to tell you all about our honeymoon.” She laughed. “Well, not
all
about it. But we went to the most beautiful island.
Stupendo!
”

“Jerry and I just got to N-V.” I looked around. I bet two more chairs could fit at our table. “Why don’t you come over? The band should start in about thirty minutes. There’s going to be dancing.”

“On our way. I missed you,
amiga
.” Flo laughed. “Ricardo is frowning. Doesn’t want to get dressed. As if he wore much of anything on that island. I’ll get him there if I have to drag him by . . . Never mind. He is throwing on clothes. Ciao!”

I was smiling as I turned to Jerry. “You heard?”

“So Flo and Richard are back. Then maybe she can talk you out of this nonsense of helping Valdez with the demons.” Jerry had leaned in and spoke softly so that no one nearby could hear.

“Don’t start, please. Can’t we just enjoy the night?” I touched his cheek. “When you order drinks get the kind with alcohol. I wouldn’t mind a little buzz.” I looked up when one of Rafe’s paranormal waitresses appeared at Jerry’s elbow. He placed our order, then stood.

“Fine. Let’s dance.” The lights had dimmed and the song was a slow one. Jerry gave me a hungry look that made me wiggle in my chair. “I want to hold you. That dress is driving me crazy. I can’t wait to see what you have or don’t have on under it later.”

“Good to know.” I smiled at him and held his hand as we walked downstairs. Earlier, I’d watched him get dressed in his dark trousers and white silk shirt. The open throat showed off his strong tanned chest. He looked pretty yummy himself and turned more than a few heads.

Downstairs, I was happy to see Penny dancing with Trey. They held each other close and were obviously feeling some chemistry. Good for her. She needed a guy showing her some appreciation after the humiliating experience with Josh.

Jerry and I danced to two songs before I felt a presence nearby. I turned and Flo grabbed me, dragging me off the dance floor. Richard and Jerry just shook their heads and followed us.

“Tell me everything.” I laughed as Jerry went to find someone to bring us two more chairs.

“Aye,
Dio
. My husband outdid himself. We went to this little island in the Pacific. We had our own private cabana, our love nest. Eh, Ricardo?” She held out her hand to Richard.

Her tall husband looked more than pleased with himself. “It was that. I made sure Florence had some shopping close by too. I know my bride.”

“Yes, the sweetest designer boutiques.” Flo ran a hand down her size-six body. “You like my dress? My shoes? I got them there.” She looked perfect in a copper silk sheath that hugged her curves and ended midthigh. Her heels were designer cages made of three kinds of metal. Only my friend could have walked in them and not fallen on her face.