Read My Lips (34 page)

• Type 1 clitoridectomy refers to removal of part or all of the clitoris; also commonly known as the “Sunna circumcision.”
  
• Type 2 clitoridectomy refers to the excision of the clitoris as well as part of the labia minora. The urethra and vaginal opening remain visible and accessible.
  
• Type 3 may be referred to as an “intermediate” infibulation. It involves removal of the clitoris and labia minora and the stitching together of the labia majora, leaving a moderate-sized opening for urine, menstrual blood, and vaginal discharge to leave the body.
  
• Type 4, also called total infibulation, is a more extreme version of infibulation in that only a small opening is left for fluids to leave the body.
  

Because female genital-circumcision procedures are typically carried out by laypersons (often female elders in a community), there is wide variation in the type and amount of cutting, so these are only general guidelines. We would never want this to happen to us, but then again, we both grew up in cultures in which these practices are largely unheard of and doctors are not allowed to perform them.

Being “outsiders” to this practice presents specific challenges in how to respond to it. Some people feel that it’s the work of feminism to oppose practices worldwide that are harmful to women. Others feel that it’s quite patriarchal for (largely) Western women to be so critical of cultural practices that they are not a part of and can’t ever truly understand—perhaps particularly when many Western women willingly engage in all sorts of body cutting in their own quest for perfection, beauty, or symmetry (e.g., breast-implant surgeries, elective female-genital surgeries such as labiaplasty, liposuction, etc.).

What We Do Know Is This

• We love vulvas as they are and hope that one day these practices go away. However, we feel that changing this is best done in a culturally sensitive way. The V-Day organization, for example, has a long history of supporting a safe house in Kenya that assists young women who wish to escape this practice and instead live at the safe house and receive education. To learn more about how you can support this kind of work, visit VDay.org.
  
• Women from cultures or countries where these practices are common should not be asked about the state of their genitals except by people whose business it is to know, such as their healthcare providers, partners, or midwives. We know of some African women who, for example, have been asked by complete strangers if they have “been mutilated.” Would you want a stranger asking you about your genitals?
  
• Although it’s commonly said that women who have experienced genital cutting cannot and do not experience sexual pleasure, this is not always the case. Research has found that many women who have experienced genital cutting are indeed able to experience sexual pleasure and orgasm, even if their genitals are not intact.
  
• Women who have had this done should not be made to feel ugly or damaged or “mutilated.” We are all beautiful and valuable regardless of what has been done to our genitals, whether by choice, cultural pressure, or force.
  

For more information about female genital-cutting practices, visit VDay.org or the World Health Organization (who.org).

Although
The Vagina Monologues
was originally intended as a celebration of the vagina and women, it is now often performed to support V-Day: A Global Movement to End Violence against Women and Girls. While there are few people who would not applaud the promotion of anti-violence efforts, some critics, such as Betty Dodson, are less positive about the association between violence and the vagina.
²³
Others fault the play (which was eventually made into an HBO special) for failing to include pictures of vulvas/vaginas. Still others critique the use of the term “vagina” when the play is predominantly about the “vulva,” a term which, according to critics, may have become popularized if used in the play.
²³
In her defense, Eve is said to have believed that the title would have been confusing to those who were not aware of the meaning of the word “vulva.” It will never be known whether
The Vulva Monologues
would have flopped or whether it would have made “vulva” a household name, but we do know that
The Vagina Monologues
got people talking about a subject that they may not have discussed without the play. In fact, it is unlikely that this book would have been possible without her work. For many reasons, including this one, we are incredibly thankful for Eve Ensler and her groundbreaking work—the woman who got the word “vagina” on marquees worldwide, encouraged audiences to chant the word “cunt,” and inspired women to honor the “vagina warriors” in their lives.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE FAMOUS.COM

Fifteen years ago, the terms “Google,” “poke,” “tweet,” and “sext” were probably meaningless to you. You had to arrange to meet friends ahead of time, answering machines were used to screen calls, and cameras (with film!) were used to take pictures that you had to wait a minimum of an hour to see. Recent technological inventions have changed the way we think, feel, and talk about the vulva. Our ability to capture a picture at a moment’s notice has made panty-less celebrities who exit their limos one of the most commonly discussed vulva-related conversations. Sure, this is probably not a new phenomenon. If you think about it, one of the most famous pictures of any celebrity is the image of Marilyn Monroe in that flowing white halter dress taken from
The Seven Year Itch
where she appears to be trying to hide her genitalia (or at least her underwear) as the wind shoots her skirt up from below.

Modern-day upskirt shots are different and so is the way that we talk about them. Within the past few years, several of today’s hottest celebrities have found themselves in panty-less predicaments. They go out one lovely evening donning a fetching mini-skirt or dress. Presumably, the dress is oftentimes not only short but quite tight. In fact, it is likely too tight to wear with panties (sorry—this is beginning to sound like the beginning of a bad porn). Not wanting to be caught on film with panty lines (or perhaps to feel super sexy or just plain comfortable), they leave their panties at home and cross their fingers/legs that no sneaky photographer has decided to wear shoes with mirrors on the tops that evening.

Fortunately, while no celebrity to our knowledge has fallen victim to mirrored shoes, they have been caught by a similarly sneaky move. When crouched at the right angle, photographers can snap a picture up the celebrity’s skirt as she steps out of her car. When they do, do the photographers say, “Oops, got the vulva,” and then quietly delete the photo? No. There is money to be made from a picture of a celebrity without underwear. Consequently, a number of these photos have wound up on the Internet.

So far, this story is understandable to us. The celebrity left the house likely hoping that no one would be the wiser about her under-garments (or lack thereof). The term “money shot” is not lost on the photographer, and he/she publishes the picture for financial gain. Are we fans of this? No. But we understand how it happens. Where we feel the story gets interesting is in the public’s reaction to the pictures. Are we, the public, shocked and appalled that the photographer would snap a private picture without the celebrity’s permission and put it on the Internet for all to see? Perhaps some are, but the public’s outrage is usually directed toward the female celebrity. She is vilified for daring to leave the house without the “proper” undergarments. Even though seemingly accidental, these celebrities are deemed promiscuous even though the picture was entirely unrelated to their sexual behavior. Not only that, but her vulva becomes the easy target of criticism by commenters who apply a mob mentality to her most private parts. We’ve read anonymous comments that not only shame these women for leaving their homes without underwear, but also attempt to shame them for the way their genitals look. It’s particularly upsetting to us when anonymous commenters describe women’s vulvas as looking “used up” or “slutty.” Since when can a woman’s genitals tell you anything about her sexual behavior?

We felt that one ex–teen star’s comment on a recent talk show summed up these comments nicely. Let’s call her Brenda. During Brenda’s teen stardom, she was widely known for being rebellious and temperamental. When Brenda was asked about her teenage rebellions, she said something along the lines of “at least I always wore panties.” As though showing your vulva (accidentally) can be the worst thing that a girl can do! It is no wonder women feel so uncomfortable showing their vulvas to their doctors or loved ones. These are clearly not the messages passed down from our sex-positive foremothers.

The disparaging comments made about celebrities’ vulvas are particularly difficult for us to digest. When researching some of these pictures and their corresponding comments, we noticed that people had taken the opportunity to insult the appearance of the celebrity’s vulva. This is problematic for a couple of reasons. First, it is clearly insulting to the women whose vulvas are being commented on. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly considering that celebrities are less likely to read the commentary, someone without prior vulva knowledge may use these images and corresponding comments to make assumptions about their own genitalia. Somewhere out there may be a young woman who is reading about her favorite pop-star or socialite, and then gets a sense from the comments that vulvas should always be perfectly waxed or always have short or long labia and so on. Young women have enough to worry about. Do we really need to suggest that women are to be judged by their genitals, too?

THE DOWN THERE UPSIDE

Fortunately, not all technology has led to vulva-negative outcomes. In fact, we think that technological advances have led to positive vulva developments, as well. First of all, the Internet can be a great way to meet people who share an interest in vulva promotion/advocacy. You can see a list of some web sites and communities that we love (including our own podcast
Genitales
—a shameless plug, we know) in the Resources section. As you can probably tell from the craft projects included in this book, we believe that vulva craft is a great form of activism in addition to being a heck of a lot of fun. One of our favorite genital crafters is Rachel Leibert, founder of the International Vulva Knitting Circle.

VULVA ARTS AND CRAFTS

If you are not much of a knitter but still support or love vulva arts and crafts, the Internet has made it possible for you to easily own a variety of vulva products. You can get everything from sofas to lip-balms to jewelry to bicycle covers shaped like vulvas (see Resources). There is no end to the neat things that one can create to look like or honor a vulva. One of our absolute favorite products is the vulva puppet (the original is called the Wondrous Vulva Puppet and it’s made by Dorrie Lane). Vulva puppets come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and materials but typically contain a clitoral hood, a fluffy clitoris, puffy inner and outer labia, a lovely inner lining, and a button or flower urethra and vagina. The best part is that you can stick your hand inside to move the lips of the vulva! The reason we love the vulva puppet so much is because it serves several purposes. Not only is it a great conversation piece as a decoration around your home (or in our case, our offices), but it is also a wonderful tool for teaching about the vulva. Even we understand that some people may feel uncomfortable looking at pictures of the vulva, especially if they have never seen one before. Using vulva puppets as sex-education props helps us to quickly and easily explain the parts of the vulva in a non-intimidating way that is easy for anyone to understand, and it is particularly kid-friendly. This was best demonstrated to a national audience when Debby made the vulva puppet famous by bringing it on
The
Tyra Banks Show
while explaining the parts of the vulva. That’s right: Debby’s vulva puppet has met Tyra, not to mention sex columnist and author Dan Savage, who graciously slipped his hand into her vulva puppet. (If he denies it, remind him that we have photographic evidence.)

AN INTERVIEW WITH THE FOUNDER OF THE INTERNATIONAL VULVA KNITTING CIRCLE, RACHEL LIEBERT

“The International Vulva Knitting Circle was founded in 2008 as a grass-roots activist collective in support of The New View campaign’s WTF-ing against the emerging industry of female genital cosmetic surgeries. We wanted to mass-produce our own line of diverse lady-bits to speak back to the increasing ways in which female bodies and sexualities are colonized by corporate practices. Within a year we had nearly 150 deliciously different vulvas from people across eleven cities and five countries, and over 500 members of all ages, genders, and geographies.

“People either craft on their own or host circles, although politically we prefer the latter as it more so spoons the dialogue and solidarity needed for broader social change. Either way, we discourage the use [of] patterns (diversity!) so long as people include the labia majora, the labia minora, and of course Her Highness the Clitoris. All skill-levels and crafts are welcomed.