Ravens Deep (one) (38 page)

             
Darius had learned over the decades how to exist amongst the mortals. That was the key to his very survival and the fact he had remained for so long.  Regardless of whatever conflict raged within him, he moved easily amongst them. I wondered if it had always been so, or had he learned such self control because of me?  I on the other hand felt nervous at these brief encounters, always mindful that I may witness something that I did not care to see.  In those moments I lived my life on a knife edge, waiting with bated breath, forever watchful that a scene from a horror movie might play out before my eyes.  I alone knew, only too well, what he was capable of.

             
Darius would sense my discomfort and that in itself amused him, but he would reassure me that he would never subject me to any unnecessary horrors and I would relax again for the moment.

             
However, one evening whilst in London his reassurance tested me to its fullest extent. We had just left a theatre and I was caught up in the excitement and wonder of the fine production we had just watched.  I revelled in the details of the story whilst Darius and I walked hand in hand through the various patrons of the theatre that remained milling around in the street. 

             
With my eyes only for Darius, I was totally unaware of the faces of the people that we passed by, but rather abruptly, I was forced to acknowledge the reality that other people did indeed exist, as someone had called my name.

             
Astonished, I looked for the source of the voice, and felt Darius’s tightened grip on my hand.

             
“Joe?” I had to stifle a gasp of horror.

             
Charlie’s father!

             
“Madeline, I thought that was you.”  I stared at him. I hadn’t seen him in a long time, but his face was drawn and looked as though he had aged prematurely, no doubt brought about by months of worry and concern over his son. But I had to think fast. 

             
“How are you Joe?” I said, forcing a smile.  I didn’t know what else to say to him and I could feel my face burning, as I was very much aware that I didn’t want to hear the next words out of his mouth.  But it was inevitable they would come.

             
“Actually Madeline . . .  not that good,” he faltered.  Then he said the words I was

dreading
.

             
“I don’t know if you heard, but Charlie disappeared . . .  he just upped and went one day.  Nobody has heard from him since.”  Joe’s eyes were staring into mine, and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

             
“I am so sorry, Joe, I really am,” I half choked. I felt terrible, but as I spoke, Darius’s grip tighten even further, I felt his penetrating gaze burning into me. I refused to look up at him.

             
“Have you seen him at all?” Joe asked expectantly, as his eyes seemed to plead with me to give him hope.  I felt close to tears and didn‘t know how to answer.  There was no hope, but how could I tell him that?

             
“No I’m sorry Joe, I haven’t seen Charlie recently.”  I paused.  At least it wasn’t a

complete
lie. “You know things were difficult between us.”

             
“I know but . . . well I thought, you of all people might have had some contact with him.” I cringed inwardly at his words. “Charlie cared for you a great deal, you know,” he added, much to my discomfort. 

             
“I know, Joe,” I said sympathetically, “but it was over a long time ago between us . . . besides . . . I am married now.”  The words almost stuck in my throat, but I had to say them to prevent him from talking about Charlie.  I was distraught, and Joe’s underlying distress was obvious and heartbreaking.

             
“Perhaps he will be in contact soon.” I heard myself say the words, but I was shocked at my response. What the hell was I trying to do to him?  In desperation I glanced at Darius.

Joe’s hopes had been dashed and he seemed to realize for the first time that I was with someone, as his gaze left me and he stared at Darius. It was a longer than necessary look and I was mindful of my silent pleading with Darius not to react. Joe took a step back.

                “I’m sorry Madeline, I didn’t’t mean to be the bearer of bad news, I should be

congratulating
you.”

             
“No it’s fine, I really am sorry Joe,” I said sincerely. Joe seemed to resign himself to the fact that I had not seen Charlie.  He looked deflated, even older than before and I felt terrible.

             
“Well, I have to be going,” he said as he made a soft despairing sound.  “It really was nice to see you again Madeline and I should give you . . . both my congratulations.” 

             
“Thank you,” I said forcing a smile.  Joe smiled back at me and glanced quickly at Darius again, before he turned and disappeared into the crowd. I looked up at Darius. He was watching Joe depart and an unexpected darkness surrounded him. It made me suddenly nervous.

             
“He could be a problem,” he remarked in a calculating way.  I squeezed his hand tighter, determined not to let it go. 

             
“No, don’t even think it,” I said with authority.  Darius glanced down at me, but before he had time to respond I continued. “He is not a problem.  Think of the consequences, Joe is a well known man, an owner of a successful publishing company and he is well liked and rich.               It would be too much of a coincidence if his son disappears, then the father disappears.  It would not go away, too many questions would be asked.”  My voice was confident as I added, “Besides, we must be on at least two or three different surveillance cameras.  Think about it, our image caught on tape as the last people seen speaking to him before he disappears.”

             
Darius studied me, smiling faintly at my words. He knew what I was doing, but he also knew the words I spoke were correct, London was full of cameras.

             
“Maybe you are right,” he said at last, “it may be better to let him be.”

             
“Will you promise me Darius, that you will leave him alone?” I pressed. Darius regarded me coolly for a few moments.

             
“Unless he crosses your path again, he will be safe from me,” he stated.  I felt somewhat appeased for the time being and relieved that Darius had seen the sense in my words. Although, it was a shock seeing Joe tonight, and to realize the trail of anguish Darius left behind. Darius turned to me.

             
“It’s only you and I that matter, remember that.”  I looked at him and smiled weakly, and tried to put any thoughts of Joe and Charlie far from my mind.

             
We walked through the city streets in silence until we came to a familiar building, the museum, where Darius wanted to retrieve a book and I happily accompanied him.  The museum had also become a source of my own amusement, I enjoyed discovering the many treasures that had been locked away for so many years. I had spent hours sorting through old documents and books, cataloguing the artefacts he had acquired over the years.  Occasionally I would remove an object from the museum and take it back to Ravens Deep, the house was now filled with many beautiful and priceless pieces.

             
The rare bookshop also earned Darius a regular income and he made a handsome profit from its sales.  I only ever witnessed a couple of meetings that took place between Darius and one of his
subjects,
as he referred to them.  It was, but a brief exchange of words and paperwork.  Every few months the sales from these priceless books would accumulate enough cash to pay for the running of the shop or to spend. 

             
Some of it would be used to arrange for yet another treasure to be acquired.  The
subjects
would handle any transactions, as the artefacts were always shipped to the bookstore.  Darius would then retrieve them in the hours of darkness at his convenience.

             
It was a fine tuned operation, but I often wondered what went through their minds when they met Darius year after year and his appearance never changed.  Although recalling Darius’s own words in which he had told me once: “Money can buy you loyalty and silence, if you are willing to pay enough.”

More time
passed and I felt we were truly a part of one another.  The longer I spent with Darius, the more I began to think of myself as immortal, and normal people began to feel strange to me. I had quickly learned that Darius was a creature of habit and he liked the routine of things.  I supposed after one hundred and seventy years plus, anyone would get a little set in their ways.

             
I tried hard to accommodate his routine and did not seek to defy or anger him too often, but I was not always willing to accept his decisions. Those were the times that I enraged him and caused the ever present darkness to surface.  Inevitably, it was I who had to back down, and the moments of witnessing his terrifying nature shattered any illusions I may have been under that it could be any different, but time heals most wounds and eventually they became but brief shadows in our life.

             
However, there was a cloud looming on the horizon, one which hung over my mind and plagued my soul, the question of immortality haunted me.  I had so often witnessed the demon that terrorized Darius, and wondered if his suffering worse, because he was alone in it. Even though he tried to describe to me what it felt like, I could not even come close to imagining how all powerful it was for him at times.  How could I possibly know the terrible toll it took on his very being; and that made me question my own mortality.  How much time did I have on this earth to comfort him, to remain by his side.  One day sooner or later the inevitable would happen, I would die. Whether it was by natural causes or something else, it would cause us to be parted. 

             
These days I did not fear for my life, in truth, I don’t really think I ever did.  Despite what Darius was, I was confident that he loved me more than anything else and I felt completely safe with him.

             
However, a disturbing contemplation remained with me night after night, and when Darius was present it took all my willpower to conceal my thoughts from him, but soon I had to confront both him and my inner torment, for it was growing stronger.

Chapter Thirty - A Fatal Kiss

             
Four years had passed since my return to Ravens Deep, so perhaps it was natural to contemplate my existence, as I reflected on this life that I had chosen. I was caught between the happiness I found with Darius and the inescapable horror and isolation that came with this reality.  I sat alone now, and not for the first time, wondered what would have become of me, if I had never met Darius.

             
Would I have married Charlie?  I didn’t think so. I was certain that I would have just moved through life incomplete, never knowing the feeling of being utterly captivated by another being and I was privileged to have been allowed to enter a forbidden realm, where I had borne witness to a legacy which was very much a part of both my history and future.

             
Darius had once said that it was a cruel fate that brought me to him, but it would have been more of a tragedy not to have fulfilled this destiny. But this was an unfathomable life,  immortality and the consequences of horror. I rationalized that every relationship had its negative moments -- the bad phases.  Darius and I, we had a down side, episodes that tested our relationship to its fullest extent, our down side was just a little extreme.

             
In retrospect if I could have done it all again, would I have done anything differently?  And I knew the answer to that question was a resounding -- no. 

             
I had just celebrated another birthday and with the passing of that date came a reminder of my inevitable fate, the foreseeable fate of every mortal.  That one day no matter how good or bad we are, it is our destiny to ultimately die.  Our bodies will turn to dust and our own personal points of view, along with our unique desires, likes and dislikes will simply vanish into thin air.  Only remembered for a short while by the loved ones that we leave behind.  Maybe because of this latest event, I was being haunted by the fact that I was getting older year by year, whereas Darius was not. In recent days I had mentioned to him that I was actually now older than him in mortal years, but he had merely smiled and told me that age had no importance. He had not really paid attention to the words I had spoken or the agonizing meaning behind them. But alone again, they came back to disturb my peace of mind, along with the cold harsh reality of what would happen to me in a few years from now. 

             
Right now, I was still in my twenties and I had no justified reason for concern, but what about when I was in my forties, or much older if I lived that long? Darius would still be twenty five and he would still look young.  His hair would still have the dark lustre and shine of youth. There would never be wrinkles or lines on that perfect skin, no moles or age spots that come with the terrible tragedy of aging.