Ravens Deep (one) (21 page)

             
I pushed that thought away, I was tired and anxious, but eventually I fell asleep.  It was some time later that a sudden noise woke me. My thoughts flew to Darius, and I looked all around, but I was alone.  The noise was coming from the kitchen, just as before I warily went into the kitchen, my focus immediately rested on the pantry door -- it stood open.  Well at least the ghost was here!

             
Suddenly I wondered if the ghost made itself apparent when Darius was close. I ran up the stairs and into the bedroom.

             
What can I feel? A presence?

              I wanted to feel something, a chill, a sensations, but I couldn’t’t feel anything.  There really was nothing here and I started to believe Darius was actually not at Ravens Deep. I was totally alone this time.  That belief grew stronger as days and nights passed, and he did not appear.

             
Over the next few days I made several trips back to my car and to the village for groceries. I left Ravens Deep via the back door, at least it still had a key.  I looked for the key to the front door, but it was missing, and I was certain Darius had it with him. 

             
The days merged into weeks, constant thoughts nagged at me.

             
Where was he?  Just how long would he stay away?
  

             
I had been back at Ravens Deep for nearly three weeks, and they had certainly been the loneliest three weeks I had ever spent. He was punishing me for breaking my promise it seemed and I wondered what to do if he did not return, but despite the situation or the underlying worry, a voice inside my head told me he had to return here, he had to return to me.

             
I felt lonely without him, but not truly alone. Strange occurrences often took place at Ravens Deep, the pantry door still opened and closed itself on a regular basis, but other things happened too. I had not noticed them before, or perhaps my focus had been so much on the mousetraps and Darius that I had noticed little else. I would put a coffee cup on the table, only to find that it had moved from its position, teetering on the edge, or its contents would be dripping down the side of the table as though knocked over. Paperwork would rearrange itself or an item would suddenly fall from a shelf of its own accord. But as I became accustomed to these happenings, I found them to be a kind of reassurance in my uncertain world right now. Confirmation that there were indeed other forces to be reckoned with. The ghost it seemed did not wish me harm. Maybe, like me, it was just lonely in its eternity.

             
Another day passed.  I couldn’t’t remember what day of the week it was anymore, every day seemed to merge into the next. That did not matter to me, although I had been careful to keep myself healthy and eat on a regular basis, I had to be strong to confront Darius, I couldn’t’t afford to be weak and sickly.

             
Again the thoughts crossed my mind, where was he and why had he not returned. Was he watching me now, or did he know I was even here.  The questions remained unanswered.  

             
The sun had already set, as I selected a book from the library and sat curled on the chair absorbed with its contents.  The table light cast a warm glow across the whole room illuminating the pages in front of me.

             
Suddenly I experienced the strangest feeling, a perception of something about to

happen
. The prickles that started at the base of my neck ran all the way down my spine and I shivered inwardly. All my senses were alert, as my ears picked up the faintest of noises at the front door -- a key in the lock.

             
My already rapid heartbeat increased, and my eyes were fixed on the doorway to the hall. I heard movement. My throat went dry and my stomach clenched into a tight knot sending a wave of nausea through my entire body, but I could not move -- I was paralyzed with fear.

             
The door opened quickly and Darius entered. He looked taller than I remembered, and shrouded in the darkness of the hallway, strangely sinister. I tried to speak, but no words formed.  He stood across the room and we stared at each other, my eyes locked with his in defiance, his presence now frightened me and unstoppable chilling thoughts filtered through my mind. I pushed them away and concentrated on trying to steady my nerves, but my pulse raced frantically and the tension in the air was electric.  Darius finally broke the silence.

             
“Why do you continue to defy me, Madeline?” His voice was cold and the way he looked at me with his intense, darkly disturbing gaze chilled me completely.  The paralysis left me and I stood up with my eyes firmly fixed on him. Somehow I found my voice.

             
“You know why . . . I cannot live my life without you.”  My words were barely there and my voice sounded frightened even to my own ears, but I had to be strong, I couldn’t’t let him intimidate me. I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the familiar urge to go to him for his eyes, although ferocious and damning, held me captive. But I did not move, as the shadows of the night still clung to him.

             
He swiftly and silently crossed the room, I was horrified and chilled by his laugh, for it was the first time I had ever witnessed it, and it exposed his perfectly formed teeth.  His eyes glittered dangerously, as he spoke.

             
“Even now, do you not realize what I am?” Startled by the question and sight before me, I was too frightened to respond.  Darius was undaunted by my silence.  “Why did you come back here and break your promise to me?  I am already damned to eternal hell. Why do you wish to see me tortured so?” My fear turned to anger, he had no idea what I had gone through in the past few months, how dare he talk of torture.

             
“Why do you wish to torture
me
so? You may be living in an eternal hell, but I am living in an earthly one.  You cannot send me from you . . . and
your
torture is of your own making.”  My statement startled him, there was a fleeting look of surprise, my voice gained confidence and I looked warily up at him.

             
“If you want to kill me then you know I am powerless to prevent it, but you can also allow me to live and to stay with you.  It worked once, you delighted in being with me once.” Darius stared at me with a dark incredulous look in his eyes.

             
“I have never wanted to kill you,” he said quietly. “You are but the lamb and I the wolf, how long before instinct takes over and the inevitable happens?”  Meeting his stare straight, my fear disappeared and it was replaced by a feeling of calmness for I felt he wasn’t about to kill me just yet.

             
“Darius, you were mortal once, you must remember those human emotions, what it is to love or to feel pain, because how were you able to be with me night after night without harming me.  You controlled yourself then, so what has changed?  And you saved my life once, what part of you did that, if not the mortal part?” I demanded, hoping to appeal to any remaining mortal senses.  Darius was silent for a few moments, and when he spoke the coldness in his voice was not so chilling. 

             
“Because once I found you, I did not want to ever let you go,” he replied, sorrowfully, “but you cannot live here knowing what I am. Your life in constant danger and you will know the horror of what could happen to you sooner or later.” He hesitated. “Why is that so difficult for you to understand?”  His eyes burned into mine, he sensed that my fear was subsiding, and shattered that illusion by raising his voice and emphasising the meaning. “Knowing the truth should horrify you, you should fear me, not seek me out!”

             
But the effect of his words was largely wasted, because I had been prepared for all the possible reasons for me not to remain here.  My voice was steady now and it rose to match his.

             
“You presume to know too much about me Darius,” I said, “don’t you think I have tormented myself, knowing that you are immortal, and thinking about all the implications of that fact.  But how can I fear you, when my love for you overwhelms that fear?” I stared at him, daring him to doubt my determination. “I know the horror of what you are and how you live, but even with that knowledge do you really think I can exist away from you?” I paused for a moment, watching him, he was unreadable. “My life has no meaning without you and all the gates, padlocks and locked doors will not keep me from you,” I said, with a surge of relief to have finally said those words to him.

             
Darius seemed shocked, he turned fractionally, it was the first time I had ever seen his normally cool composure completely disturbed, he sat down on the sofa with his head in his hands.

             
“Madeline, you ask too much of me!”  But I was empowered by his hesitance and unexpected vulnerability.

             
“I ask only what I know you to be capable of,” I said quickly, “mortal and immortal have no relevance here at Ravens Deep. I can make your life full once more and I believe that you can control your hunger when you are with me, just as you did before. With you I can live my life and with me you will have a life,” I paused for breath and he looked up into my face. “I really can take away your darkness and bring you light if you let me, but you cannot send me from you Darius -- I will only return.”

             
His bewitching green gaze was enticing and I wished that I could read his thoughts.  He seemed indecisive, unusual for him, but when he stood up, I approached him slowly. The darkness that had surrounded him, was gone, he looked calm and composed, as I drew close to him.  I looked deeper into his beautiful eyes, and they no longer held any trace of fierceness. I closed my eyes, leant up and kissed him on the lips, he responded, but after a moment he held me firmly back from him. I looked at him warily, there was a ghost of a smile on his lips.

             
“I have missed you Madeline,” he said, before encircling me with his arms.

Chapter Seventeen - Desires of the Flesh

             
If I had any doubts about returning to Ravens Deep they were soundly pushed to the back of my mind in the moments that followed.  Darius released me from his embrace and his long fingers intertwined with mine.  He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it softly.  We stood in silence for a few moments more before he spoke.

             
“Madeline, every part of me believes that this is an imprudent thing to do, but I do not want to leave you each night. You are correct in the words you speak, part of my torture is of my own making because I want more from you. I have hungered for all of you, your presence fuels my deepest desire to possess you, but that desire puts you at risk.” His gaze made me tremble. 

             
“I did not return here just to endlessly hold your hand, I want a complete relationship Darius. You have a strong mind and you have learnt control and restraint. I believe in your love for me I will be safe.” I paused for a moment.  “Do you hunger for my blood or for the mortal that I am?”  I asked breathlessly, his seductive look sent waves of longing over me.   

             
“It is you that sets me on fire, not your blood,” he replied as his fingers ran through my hair.

             
“Then am I not safe enough?”  I said, distracted by his continuing sensual touch.  He drew me closer to him still, a firm decision forming in his mind.

             
“I will keep you safe,” he said earnestly, and swung me up in his arms. Our kiss lingered as he effortlessly moved up the stairs and to the bedroom.  We were close to the bed, when he set me down to face him. The anticipation of his touch was unbearable and I could wait no longer, even if I would be damned because of it. His silky hair fell across my face as he bent his head again and I entwined my fingers in its long strands and pulled him close.

             
His deep kiss inflamed my simmering passion.  I felt intensity and desire build within him, rivalling my own.  With ease he lowered the straps of my top from my shoulders, before my clothes seemed to fall away under his expert guidance.  I shivered, from the exposure of my bare skin to the air and then again, from the way he kissed me and his seductive caress down the length of my body. My own fingers found the buttons on his shirt, with trembling hands I slowly undid them, exposing the perfect whiteness of his flesh. We kissed again and as our lips parted, I looked up at him uneasily.

             
“Can we do this Darius?” A faint smile touched his lips as he understood my real question.

             
“I cannot infect you this way, you have to be bitten.” I must have showed a small amount of concern. “I do not have a need for blood right now. It is my desire for you that consumes me tonight.” He took my hand and placed its palm on his bare chest. “Do you feel that I am warm?  Trust me, and I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.” His skin was not only warm, it was positively hot and my nerves settled down.