Raven (5 page)

“
Ouch
.” I brought my hand to my head, bending my knees as she straddled my stomach. She looked down at me and I let my hands fall to my sides, afraid to touch her. She pulled her long, blonde hair away from her face, breathing hard and laughing.

“
Sorry—I just saw an opportunity.” She climbed off and stood, seeing my discomfort and the deep black of my eyes.

I took a minute to regroup as deathly images crossed my mind, images of Elle I never wanted to see. I stood, placing my hand on the stairs for assistance, my feet slipping. Now standing, I straightened my jacket and looked at her. She continued to breathe hard, her face alive. I swallowed, controlling my anger but not my desires. I stepped toward her and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her against my chest and kissing her with fury. She grabbed at my back, allowing me to control the situation and control myself. I ran my hand through her hair, grasping it hard as I felt the wings on my back release and spread.

She yelped and jumped back, her cheeks reddened and her face confused. “
Edgar
—”

I was breathing deeply as my chest rose and fell, my mind whirling as the whole room seemed to spin. I was controlling the fury, and it felt good—addicting even. I walked toward her but she took another step back, distancing herself.

“
Edgar,
what is this?
” There was fear in her eyes.

I clenched my fists and pressed back my desires.

“
You have
wings
,” she continued, staring at them with what seemed like fascination, but also uncertainty.

I nodded as I stepped toward her, my teeth clenched in resistance of my desire to hold her and never let go. She stopped backing away from me, allowing me to come closer. I could smell her apprehension, but she was braver now than before. She ran her shaking hand along the length of one wing, walking behind me and drawing the same hand down the other.

“
Angel wings. Like Sam’s,” she stated.

I swallowed. “Yes, like Sam’s.”

“
So then,” she paused. “You’re a
guardian angel?
”

I nodded again. “Yes. I died for you.” I felt a sense of pride saying it.

I watched her face, afraid of her reaction, afraid it would change the way she saw me. A smile grew across her cheeks. “Will you be
my
angel?” The way she said it sounded seductive, and it was hard to hold back.

I swallowed again, my throat now dry. “Sam is your angel.” I felt relief—she did not hate me.

She continued to smile, pressing her body against my chest. “That doesn’t matter,” she whispered in my ear, tracing her lips along my cheek.

She found my current state
attractive?

I tried to hold my hands away from her, but as she continued to tease, I lost my control. I pressed my hands against her back, grasping the fabric of her dress as she looked at me, no longer afraid of what I could do to her. Her breath fell across my face as she searched my eyes, loving the danger.

I drew in one shaky breath and she smirked. “What’s wrong, too much?”

I wasn’t used to her like this. “No.” I stammered.

She brought her hand up behind my neck, pulling me in to kiss her.

I had control. I could handle this. She knew what to say to make this a challenge, something I thrived on. Her body was stronger now, her bones able to handle my strength. I was no longer afraid I would kill her. I lifted her off the ground, and she wrapped her legs around me, her warmth something I craved. Her lips were intertwined with mine, her breathing the only sound that mattered. This is what I had always wanted, but it was too soon.

I had to stop.

“
Elle—”

Her lips froze, my hands guiding her away from me. She tilted her head, her eyes filled with disappointment.

“
I know, Edgar.”

COMING CLEAN

Estella

“
I see you found it.” Edgar played with the chain around my neck, making it tickle my skin.

I took it from his hands, looking at it as it glowed white and burning hot against the skin on my hand. “It was black all this time.” I had forgotten about the ring in the excitement, for the first time noticing it had changed.

He rolled toward me, our bodies separated by a safe pile of pillows. He traced his hand up my chest to the chain, twisting it until he found the clasp and released it from my neck. I felt relieved to have it off me, the power of it letting go of my soul. I watched Edgar let the ring slide from the chain, filling the room with a delightful tingling sound of metal.

He held it in his hand, flipping it over and over. “Where did you find it?”

I smiled, and looked toward his desk, the black sheets tangled around my arms as I tried to point. “In there.”

He looked mildly angry. “I tried to keep you out of here.” He looked up at all the paintings with a glimmer of shame in his eyes.

I didn’t want him to feel ashamed of who he was. “I love them. I love this room.”

He looked at me in surprise. “You do?” He sat up, and I admired his strong bare chest, his wings now retracted. We were lounging in his room, trying all we could to resist what we both wanted. I knew he still felt weak, but I felt in control. We were so close, but still, he would not allow me into the deepest regions of his heart.

“
Yes, I slept here while you were gone. It’s you, the Edgar I always wanted to know.” I touched his face. “This is beautiful, a true sense of your soul, the opposite of mine, but still a part that is essential to my existence.”

He looked amazed.

I reached toward him, and took the ring from his hand. “Here.” I grabbed his finger and slid it on, a flash of the past returning to me.

He laughed. “Thanks.”

I held his hand as his eyes filtered to black, just as they had been all night. I was no longer afraid of it. He would not kill me. I knew he couldn’t. There was something inside me that felt more confident now. I would no longer be afraid.

“
Don’t hide from me, Edgar.” I slid my body next to his, our skin touching as his eyes now filled with anger, something I found seductive. “I am in love with the darkness inside you. I want to embrace that.”

He leaned in and kissed my neck, his grasp strong. I put my hand on his chest and pushed him away. “I want to be the wife—” I paused, looking deep in his eyes. “The wife I was
supposed
to be. I want us to be together, completely.”

He took my hand and kissed it, his teeth grazing my skin, my touch driving him mad. I smiled. This image of him in my head was the man I’d always wanted, not the man tortured by anger and holding back his desires. At times I wanted to escape my beautiful life, embrace danger and feel the dark side.

“
Edgar, we are here together. This is
our
life, as one life.” I laughed.

He touched my chin. “Though it’s an endless life, Elle, I have learned that it does not mean it isn’t fleeting. I can still lose you. I just got you back. I’m not ready to risk that.”

I grinned. “I want to spend every second with you.”

He chuckled. “
Every second?
”

I gave him a playful slap on the arm. “Edgar, you know what I mean.”

His smile was striking. “I won’t allow us to part ever again, Elle. I’m sorry we ever did.”

“
We won’t.” His eyes were pitch black. I leaned away from him, allowing him space.

“
I won’t allow us to separate as we have so many times, and I promise to be true to you, to be the other half I am supposed to be,” he declared.

I took his words to heart, believing the look on his face. “What was it like?” I changed the subject.

He shrugged, knowing exactly what I was talking about. “Much like what I assume you felt when you disappeared, though I was dead and you were just asleep.”

“
Why weren’t you in Heaven, then, like everyone else?”

His lips pressed together. “I suppose I was, but perhaps caged. Did you see me while you were there?”

I nodded. “Yes. They had you at the white castle.”

“
Yes, I must have hovered there under some spell. Drugged, so to speak. Anyway, in Fate’s eyes, I must have died at some point, otherwise I wouldn’t be an angel. Perhaps the gods managed to bring me back from the dead? Struck a bargain of some sort?”

“
Yes,” I agreed, affirming what I already knew, but I had hoped there was more.

I thought about that day at the castle, and the little girl that had led me there—
my mother
. I began to wonder how this all worked, who was in charge, and why. I looked toward the window where the curtain was cracked, reveling a rainy sky.

“
Looks like the bad weather has returned.” I frowned.

Edgar’s face changed, and I tried to understand why. “Seems so.”

I read into his reply. “Do you know why?”

He shrugged. “I’m not sure.” His voice was flat, his eyes staring into mine as though he wanted me to say something, but there was nothing.

There was a knock on the door then.

I wrapped the sheets around me and sat up, not wanting to be seen in my camisole and underwear. “Yes?”

I heard someone begin to turn the handle. “Hey, Elle. It’s Margriete.”

Edgar’s face changed back to happiness. “Margriete! Come in!”

I looked at Edgar with an angry face. “
Edgar!
” I hissed.

He looked at me, remembering we were practically naked, but it was too late.

“
Hey, guys!” She came bounding in, halting as she saw us. “
Whoa
there, put on some clothes.” She shielded her eyes and turned away from us.

“
It’s not what you think,” I said with resentment.

Edgar jumped from the bed and I grabbed one of his shirts from the floor, putting it on while Edgar grabbed a fresh shirt, letting the hem fall over his still-intact jeans.

“
Are you decent now?” She peeked over her shoulder, content that I had a shirt, “Don’t you know that’s dangerous? You shouldn’t get that close.” She barked, referencing what we had done.
“Young idiots playing with fire is what that is.”

I laughed, thinking of something that would shut her up. “I know what you and Sam do, so…”

Her jaw dropped. “I do no such thing!” she denied, but the smirk on her face said it all.

Edgar’s expression showed disgust. “So it
is
true? Margriete and Sam really are a thing? That’s
repulsing
.”

I laughed.

Margriete hissed. “No worse than you. I hear you’re an angel now, too—” She paused for a moment. “
Pillow talk
,” she added, just to piss him off.

Edgar pretended to gag.

“
So, Edgar.” Margriete stared at him. “Long time no see.” She put one hand on her hip, giving him a sassy face.

I watched the both of them, neither one flinching as though stuck in some sort of face off. Margriete hadn’t seen Edgar in decades, since she had run away, and I wasn’t exactly sure how they would interact. Considering the circumstances, and Matthew’s death, I wasn’t sure if it would be a delightful reunion or a dreadful fight. Though she had been with me down in Heaven, the Edgar we had seen there wasn’t
real.

They continued to stare, inhaling and exhaling in even breaths. The tension was unbearable, and I found myself covered in a cold sweat. It was then that I saw a smile begin to form on Margriete’s lips, and I rolled my eyes, a breath of relief releasing from my lungs.

“
Oh, Edgar!” She ran toward him and jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist and giving him a big dramatic kiss on the cheek.

Edgar struggled to hold her, his eyes changing to black, sensing the creature she was.

Margriete leaned back, sliding her legs from around him and back to the floor, looking at his eyes. “Oh,
Edgar
. No need to be so overdramatic. Cool it.” She gave him a playful smack on the shoulder, which I doubt made the situation any easier for him.

His skin was glistening with sweat. “Thanks Margriete.” He paused and cleared his throat, walking toward his desk where he shuffled through some papers to distract himself. “I didn’t expect you to be so bubbly.” Edgar turned and looked at me. “Was she always like this? I can’t remember.”

I glared at him. “Yes, darling. She was.”

Margriete grabbed my arm. “Hey, come have some coffee with me.”

I looked at Edgar over my shoulder, but he was still busy going through the papers on the desk.

“
Oh, come on. He’s busy anyway,” she pleaded.

I nodded, and she grabbed my hand, pulling me through the stacks of books and papers to the door, where we made our way down the stairs toward the kitchen.