Raven (2 page)

I drew my watch from the lapel of my coat, opening the shiny silver cover and tilting the face of the watch toward the fire. It was nearing midnight, but it wasn’t the time that had made me look at the watch–it was the engraving from Elle. I ran my thumb across the scratched letters, feeling the indentation ripple across the ridges of my finger. I was close enough to feel her warmth inside my soul, close enough to feel the emotion she held at any given moment–darting from happiness to tension in a heartbeat. She was anxious and afraid, wondering if I’d ever return. I wanted to hold her and tell her it was all right, but I knew there was also that part of me that held the desire to suck that very same life from her bones, ripping her heart apart like an animal.

I shuddered at the thought, feeling like a monster as I forced my wings back and away from me. I hid them in the shadows with shame, feeling as though I didn’t deserve something so holy. I snapped the watch shut with one hand, still holding the feather in the other.

My body tingled with a strength I hadn’t felt before. Though I was already strong, I wondered what becoming an angel had really done and what sort of power it had granted me. I could already fly, so getting wings seemed useless. I thought I was already strong, but perhaps stronger? I knew that Sam could read minds, but could I? I tried to think back to when I had seen Sam earlier, but could not recall hearing any thoughts. Then again, maybe he had the power to hide them from me as well.

Feeling bored, I tried to amuse myself with the memories of Matthew’s death. I smiled, but it was short lived as the memories quickly turned morbid, knowing that my own death had followed. Finding there was nothing else left to distract me from the task at hand, I finally faced the facts and began to think of a plan.

Tomorrow I would set out and hunt down the hologram. Surely then things would begin to fall into place, and I would become more like myself again. I looked up at the trees as they swirled overhead in a gust of spring air, distracting me for a moment. Next, I would build myself a suitable camp, something with all the comforts of home.

A sneer grew across my face, thinking of how lucky I was to be a part of Elle’s life and her grand existence. If it wasn’t for the prophecies, I would have been killed and thrown away by the gods like a lump of trash–useless as Matthew was. Elle and I had worked hard to nurture the strength she needed to combat her fate, and luckily for me, her years spent alone and gone had granted me the time to hatch a plan for the future.

I tried again to tuck my wings into the bones of my back, succeeding as I felt each feather being sucked in and under my skin like an old Chinese fan, now resting along the length of my spine on either side. The corners of my mouth curled, finally content that I had achieved the feat, and relieved the wings were gone—
at least for now.
I cracked my neck, feeling as though something was out of alignment, but figuring I had a lot of time to practice.

I looked at a nearby tree, feeling it stare down on me with both fear and hope. The whole forest felt anxious, and it should. They knew what was coming. A smell of trepidation was secreting from their very shell, filling the air with a sour mist. Other than the sounds of the fire, I also noticed the stagnation. It was as though every animal also knew—also tried to hide, but there was nothing they could do, and nowhere they could run that would be safe.

The long journey was finally over, and we had arrived at the end. All we had worked for was now coming to pass. When I look back, I see that everything had its purpose—all those years I spent alone, all the time Elle spent in darkness and sleep. Elle had been groomed by a force even the god’s could not understand, so there was no one we could look to but her. What was coming was unstoppable, inevitable and sealed. Only one could fix this, but only she could decide whether it was
worth
fixing.

Though Elle’s fate was to be this chosen one, she still held the option to choose, and that’s what the gods feared most. Her fate did not include an ending because it was undecided, but it made no matter to me. I found that not knowing the end was what I preferred. If I knew we would die, then why try—why hope? No matter what her decisions, I would stand by her, revel in the fact that she was my other half: the great one,
the one.

I dropped my head into my hands, running my fingers through my hair and locking my hands behind my neck. The dirt below my feet seemed to teem with power, the whole world of Heaven in an uproar. It was times like this that I admired our race, the human race. For as smart as they claimed to be, they were still too involved with their lives to notice what was coming. I knew that they would be the last to sense the end, and I found it relieving. At least this way they wouldn’t waste days with worry and fear, or at least not over this.

I felt my limbs tingle with a familiar emotion. Envy, the sweetest feeling, and one I seemed to wallow in like an endless abyss. Who was I kidding? Of course I wished that I were the one and not Elle, but it was never meant for me. That kind of responsibility could never be trusted to a heart like mine, corrupt and black, all but for one small piece that belonged to her. I struggled with this feeling all my life—knowing that I was less of a being—allowing Elle to prosper. It was this emotion that made holding myself back hard. Envy was powerful and bitter, a feeling that all the other ravens never had to deal with, but in this I knew I was stronger than them.

Like Sam had always said, I needed to rise to the task of being her soul mate, and be proud. Become the one thing in the world that could hold her up, and keep her going. I sat up straight on the log. Another gust of wind blew hard at my back, my wings extending as my arms erupted with goose bumps. There was a scent in the breeze that I recognized, even from this distance. I closed my eyes and breathed deep, my wings relaxing to the ground.

“
Estella,”
I whispered. The corners of my mouth curled and I exhaled, blinking a few times.

It was getting late and I knew that tomorrow was going to be a big day. I slid from the log to the ground, propping my wings behind my head and allowing them to finally come of some use. I yawned, thinking that soon my love would come back to me; soon the fun would begin.

HOME AWAY FROM HOME

Edgar

The fire burst to life in a ball of flames. I laughed, never finding it got old to start a fire with such magical fury. A few fat drops of rain fell from the sky, filtering through the canopy from one maple leaf to the next, reminding me of how much I hated the outdoors. The ferns bowed toward the dirt, lower than usual, but it was to be expected. I looked up at the maples, an idea coming to mind as I remembered Elle’s trees up the hill, where I took her on the snowmobile.

I put my hands up toward them, and for a moment, I saw them lean away from me in fear.
“Hush,”
I told them, smiling. “You know who I am. I will not harm you. I need your help.”

I rolled my eyes, thinking to myself that it was a bit silly to talk to trees, but I needed them. I began to concentrate. They tried to hesitate, but began to move as I continued to coax. Clenching my teeth and shutting my eyes, I tried harder—imagining what I wanted them to be. The image on my mind was presumptuous, but I had faith that they could do this, as a challenge perhaps?

I heard the crackling of the branches as they intertwined, leaves grazing my shoulders, but I refused to let it distract me from my imagination. I saw a table and chairs, bed frame and fire pit, drawing across my mind like a scroll pen on white paper. Soon the sound of crackling subsided, and I slowly opened my eyes.

Rain continued to fall on my face, dripping into my mouth as I licked my lips. I blinked away a few drops, my eyes falling on a small cabin that was rooted to the nearby trees, the leaves stretching to form a roof. I bowed to the trees in thanks before allowing my excitement to take over. I would finally be able to escape the rain.

“
Ha!”
My voice echoed through the forest, but my happiness was short lived as a figure emerged from behind a nearby tree, catching me off guard as I jumped, embarrassing myself.

My eyes snapped from that of my new residence to the figure, finding myself frozen. I took in the familiar outline of the figure, watching it’s every move, feeling it as though it were my own. The figure stared back at me like a mirror, darkness filtering across its eyes—
my eyes.
A smile grew across my face then, laced with a hunger to kill.

“
You
.” I laughed.

The figure smiled back with a vindictive glimmer in his eye. He nodded.

“
Don’t you remember you’re no more than
air?
You cannot be me,” I yelled across the clearing that had been made by the moving trees. I stepped toward the hologram as it took one step back, remembering how fragile it was compared to me.

I froze, but the figure inched back again. As he did this, I lunged, my large black wings filling his eyes with shock. My heart was racing with the thrill of the hunt, forgetting about the rain and the chill in the air. He twisted into a raven then, taking off toward the upper canopies of the forest as he left a trail of smoke behind him. He tried to use his small size against me, dodging through tight spaces as I struggled to keep up.

“
I see you’ve learned a few tricks since you’ve been here. Been reading my books, have you?” I was close at his tail, nearly over him.

The raven looked up at me, his eyes beady but blank. He had no soul, but I could see he had evolved, left to his own devices for too long. He let out a cry and I used the moment to throw myself at him. His body dissipated like black smoke then, eluding me and making the anger inside my heart grow stronger. My laughter echoed off the soggy trees as I looked around, finding this little sport invigorating, and a test of my once dormant agility.

I grabbed onto a branch and swung myself around in the other direction, scanning the trees with my sharp sight, catching the glimpse of a man running a few yards ahead. I clenched my jaw, no longer noticing the way my heart pounded in my chest. I reached down and removed my shoes before jumping from the canopy, floating down until my bare feet met the wet forest floor, mud and needles squishing through my toes.

I whistled, calling to the hologram like a dog and loving every moment. I could feel his presence in my heart. He was just up ahead now. I knew where he was headed, thinking that the shelter of the school would stop me, but he was mistaken. His black hair was bobbing as he ran, my feet not too far behind his.

I readied myself, rubbing my hands together as I summoned the warmth of magic from deep inside my heart. The trees began to thin, and I leapt off the ground, allowing my wings to pick up the pace as I overcame him.

He looked up at me, feeling my fury as his image began to flicker like a television with poor reception. An electrical charge ignited in my now-warm hands, and I reached down to grab him, feeling not only his body, but also the feeling of fabric—of his clothing as the air solidified. Confidently, I commended myself for creating something so real, that it could mimic human emotion so well.

He looked up at me, and it was like looking in a mirror. It felt as though I was killing myself, but it was a thought that wasn’t foreign to me. I tightened every limb around him as we fell to the ground like rocks, breath releasing from both our lungs.

I laughed. “You believe you can breathe now, too?” I kept a tight focus on the magic in my hands, not wanting it to fade or give him a chance to escape.

I saw fear in his eyes, a great play but not convincing. I tilted my head and smiled at him as my hands came to his throat. “You were so perfect.” I looked him in the eye and grunted. “But unfortunately, you were
too
perfect.”

The hologram made a move to speak, but I knew that if I heard his voice—my voice—it might throw my concentration. I was quick to destroy him, squeezing my hands as he began to deflate like a balloon. I balled the hologram up in my grasp, continuing to shrink him until he was no more than the size of a golf ball. With one last clasp of my hands, I felt him disintegrate into my palms, the magic returning to where it came from.

I took a deep breath and sat back, my body hot as sweat beaded across my skin. I felt intense warmth inside my heart, filtering a powerful blood to every limb. My power returned then, faster then it ever would around Elle. I laughed to myself between heavy breaths, feeling alive for the first time in a long while. It had been too long since I had taken a life, magic or not, and it felt good, like a drug. I felt my pupils dilate. The need to binge was strong, but I forced it back as always, reminding myself of my duty and my oath.

I tried to distract myself as I shut my eyes, thinking of the greater tasks ahead. An image of Estella came to my mind, smiling, finally coming into her own and learning so much. I felt the urge inside me subside, a cool feeling washing over me as each muscle began to release. You would think that thinking of her would make the feeling worse, but it never did. It was those notions that lead me to hope that we could have a normal life together.

Opening my eyes, I stood and brushed off my clothes, finding that now I needed a bath as well. I looked toward the sky as I filled my wings with air, pressing myself upward and back toward camp. I flew high over the forest, toying with the possibility that perhaps I’d see home in the meadow. The clouds overhead were growing dark and angry, the wind picking up as I squinted to see. The trees parted ever so slightly to my left, opening onto an expanse I had all but forgotten. I felt the desire for home tug at my heart, the desire to be with Elle so great it was hard to hide.