Range (40 page)

"Will you come with me?"

The fear in her voice takes me back a second. She's really screwed up. More than me, even, and that's some new record. Whatever they did to her, it must've been pretty bad. "Of course I'm coming, Irin. Why do you think I'm here?"

"You didn't help any of the others out, why help me?"

"They didn't need me. But you do."

She takes a deep breath. "You don't think we'll get stuck in there? That other place?"

I shrug. "Maybe we will, who knows. But like I said, I think it's not all that bad in that place. So who cares? If we do we do. If we don't we don't. We have no control over it, so let it go, Irin. Just let that fear go, it's such a useless emotion. Fear gives you nothing. It only takes."

"But…" She stops, squinting at me in confusion. "You're not ever scared, Junco? I mean, that's not even possible."

"Of course I'm scared. All the time. You just can't let it control you like this. Just push it away and think about the job. The job always pulls you through the hard times. When you have a mission, Irin? Life is easy. It's when the missions end that should worry you."

"I never had any missions, Junco. I'm not a soldier, I was just a—" She stops and looks away, almost as if she's embarrassed. "I was nothing but a test subject, that's all. I never did anything brave or special. I just complied because I was so scared of everything. So, what can I do? How do I stop being afraid?" She sniffs and wipes her bloody hands across her face, leaving a long streak of residue.

I get up and take her hand, pulling her with me over to the kitchen sink. "Just stand here quietly, OK?"

She nods out a yes.

I grab some paper towels and get them soaked with water and lathered up with soap. Then I wipe her face like she's a little kid. "Close your eyes," I command, "so the soap won't get in." I scrub her, then rinse, and hand her a dry towel.

I wait for her to finish patting down her face and she looks a bazillion times better. "Fear, Irin, can be beaten with one simple exercise. Gideon taught me this. Are you ready to learn it?"

She bobs her head up and down.

"OK, the secret to conquering fear is to embrace the worst-case scenario. So, tell me… what's the worst-case scenario if you go in the Pillar?"

She thinks about it for a moment. "Death."

I shrug. "All right. Death. What happens if you die?"

"How should I know?" she snaps.

"Exactly. How should you know. It's the great unknown, right? You die and then you're gone, just blipped out of existence. Now what?"

"What? Nothing, that's what. You're gone."

"Right. So you'd never even know you died. Who gives a fuck if ya die, Irin? You're never gonna even know about it!"

"What if I do know about it?"

"Well, then that means there's an afterlife, in which case, it can't be worse than here, right? Just think about it, you've had a pretty fucked-up life so far. How can an afterlife be any worse?"

She stays silent.

"Irin, the secret to fear is to accept the worst-case scenario. Embrace it as truth. That way when it doesn't happen, you're better off than you were. And if it does come true, you're prepared. Of course, if death is the real end, then who gives a shit? You're done. That's the worse thing that could happen to you. You're done and sometimes being done can sound pretty fucking awesome."

Silence again.

"Don't just accept your fate, Irin. Change it to suit you. And don't just accept your Destiny either. Meet it on your own terms. Go forward with courage, because fear gives you nothing in the end. It only takes away your dignity."

She looks up at me now. Her yellow eyes are normal. A golden hazel, just like my own, before the morph, of course. It occurs to me that I've never seen her eyes without the glow. Who knew they'd be hazel?

"You were so lucky to have Gideon growing up, Junco."

"I'm still lucky to have him, Irin. He told me these same words the last time I saw him, right before we found ya screaming for us in my dad's old marketplace." I wait for another response but none comes forward. "Well, actually, him and Lucan."

"Oh, for fuck's sake. Just what I need, second-hand advice from the Devil."

"Smart-ass remarks mean you're back to your old bitchy self, I think."

She curls her lip at me and growls as the door swooshes open and Tier enters again. He looks her up and down real good and when her eyes finally meet his, he speaks. "You're ready then, Irin?"

She nods and Annun comes forward to take her out.

"We're right behind you," Tier calls after them. And then he turns. "I thought I told ya no swearing?"

"Sorry, but it's Irin, ya know? She needs a heavy hand, sorta like me."

He laughs and pulls me close as we follow them out. "Like you? That's cute. The last thing you need is a heavy hand, darlin'. If ever there was a person who required a light touch, it's you." He leans down to kiss me, his lips brushing past mine for the briefest of fractions. "What's the term they use for horses that require gentle guidance? A soft mouth, right? You've got a soft mouth, Juncs."

My whole body goes warm with his words. "Where did you learn that?"

He shrugs. "I looked up all kinds of shit about horses and pianos when you were missing. Spent entire days sitting in your room back at the 039 looking at your stuff. I stared at that piano for hours sometimes, wishing I could hear you play it."

"I think that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard." He leans in and kisses me long and good this time. "Don't ever stop," I whisper.

"You'll be begging me ta stop when this is all over, Snowbird. And I'll have ta tell ya no every time."

Chapter Forty-Seven

I feel all the breath leave me when we land on the side of a mountain ledge in South Central Columbia. This part of South America has been controlled by terrorists for more than a hundred years. Or I guess I should say
was
controlled. Because right now there is nothing left to control. It is hundreds, maybe thousands, of burned and charred acres of what once used to be thriving rainforest vegetation.

Forest fires are not all that uncommon in the jungle, but the kind powerful enough to burn the entire canopy into dust is truly End of Days stuff. The only other time I can think of where this occurred is when the planet pad explosion took out a large portion of Brazil. But that was due to tens of thousands of gallons of liquid hydrogen from the refuel station being sprayed into the air upon impact from the suborbital.

But this?

This comes with a smell that goes far beyond chemicals and green trees. The odor curling up my nostrils and invading my olfactory receptors is nothing short of thousands of charred and disfigured bodies. They are strewn about the landscape, what's left of them, anyway, curled up and still smoking.

"What happened?" I ask in a whisper as Tier comes up behind me.

"War happened, Junco."

Ashur walks up next to me, his posture still angry and stiff. "Is that righteousness I detect in your voice, Junco?"

I want to smack him so bad. Or at the very least tell him to fuck off. But Tier grabs my hand and addresses Irin. "Ready?"

She backs away quickly and Ashur has his hands wrapped around her chest, restraining her, before I even notice he's moved. "Not so fast, Psycho Number Two."

"Ashur!" Tier barks. "Shut the fuck up. I don't need this today."

Ash does shut the fuck up and I feel a little satisfaction that he still has to take orders like everyone else.

"Irin, we've talked about this," Tier says, trying to be reasonable. "You know what's gonna happen, you know you're not leaving here any other way, so do not make this difficult. Comply or I will knock you out like I did with Soli and drag your ass to that Pillar. You are out of options."

I look over at Irin and she begins to whimper. She's scared and I don't blame her. I've asked to go along and watch because I have this overpowering need to know what happens before I go to my own Pillar. Tier agreed because I insisted, but that means that Irin will have to fly herself over there and the guys will have to fly me with them because I have no fucking wings and if I can fly or float or anything like that, no one's told me about it and this new body did not come with a manual.

Tier prods me with his shoulder, a signal I figure.
Go shut her up and let's get a move on
is the message it sends.

But I just look out past the blackened remains of countless humans, and probably an equal number of avian warriors as well, to the column of light bursting forth from the forest about a dozen miles away. This is the first Pillar that will erupt on land, all the others have been in the ocean. A small relief to coastal populations everywhere I bet, but unfortunately for South America, this Pillar lies close to a major fault line that will be severely disrupted once the mechanism deep inside the earth is triggered.

It will cause yet another horrific natural disaster.

I swallow. How many will die because of Irin today?

And when they take me back to the Runout valley where my Pillar is located, how many people will die because of me?

I look up at Tier as a horrible thought strikes. "What about HOUSE?"

His brows flatten down over his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"HOUSE? She's in Peak City." I start shaking my head and I hear Irin getting more hysterical behind me. Ashur is talking low to her, maybe to issue threats without me and Tier knowing. "There's gonna be terrible earthquakes, New Peaks is not that far from Runout, only a couple hundred miles, that's not nearly far enough away to be safe. Who will save my HOUSE?"

"Junco, this is not the—"

"The fuck it's not the time!" I scream—a bit hysterically, I admit. "I need her, I told you that. I need her!"

"She's an AI, she has a backup, right?"

"No." My head is shaking out the word and I'm trying to move away now. "No. She's not an AI, she's a little girl! And… and… even if she was still just an AI, there is no backup! I took the—"

He wraps his arms around me like Ash has his around Irin. "Darlin', listen. I'll get your HOUSE. OK? I promise, when you come back, your HOUSE will be there. OK?"

"But she might not be able to leave… what if she can't leave? I have to go see her, we can go there, it's on the way. I—"

"Junco." He interrupts me with a hand over my mouth. "We're not stopping there. The teams at your Pillar have a very tenuous hold on the area right now. We have no more time. We need to get Irin in that Pillar and then port directly to number seven. You understand? I will take care of her, I promise ya."

I stare up at him, my eyes glowing like fuck I'm sure.

"OK?" he asks again.

I nod and wriggle out of his hold so I can turn back to see Irin. Ashur has removed her to a place farther away from Tier and me and she is sobbing uncontrollably.

I'm not helping her at all, I'm making it worse.

"Go talk to her, Junco. Quickly, or you'll have to wait here and Ashur and I will have to drag her over there."

I take a deep breath and walk over to Ashur as I put on my soldier face. "I've got it, thanks," I say with the voice of a former cadet captain. It's pretty weak, but Ash just nods and lets her go. Irin turns to me, wiping her eyes.

"Please, help me be brave."

Oh my God.

I hug her. So tight.

"Irin," I whisper in her ear. "I'm scared too, OK? I'm scared too. But remember what I said, embrace the worst. This is it, OK? The end. We've got no choice."

This does not console her. Her whole body shakes against mine as we embrace our terrible futures together.

I try another tactic.

"When Gid and I were little and had a hard time dealing with something scary, we played a game. Do you want to hear about it?"

"Junco?" Tier barks.

"Wait!" I command him. "Just wait!"

Irin pulls back and nods at me. "Tell me, quick!"

"We'd take turns telling each other about a time when we were scared, and then we'd say how we overcame our fear with rational thinking."

She watches my face as I talk, her sobs slowing down a bit, and since we're pretty much out of time, I start with the most heinous thing I've ever had to do. "When I was back on Amelia fighting my way through Fledge I had to kill a friend because it was my duty."

Irin looks at me with horror.

"I struggled with it, but to be honest, there was never a doubt in my mind. I am a rule follower, and most of all, I always obey an order when it comes from the top. Lucan said I had to do it, and he was my top. So I did it. I am always afraid, Irin. But I get past it by following orders. For me, there's a lot of satisfaction in doing my duty." I shrug. "It's not very brave, I admit, but that's just how I work, I guess."

Her mouth hangs open as she processes my words.

"I've had a hard time living with myself ever since I killed Isec to be honest, but now I know that my friend went to a better place. I really believe that, Irin."