Range (36 page)

"What will it take to make you understand?"

I snort out a laugh. "What kind of question is that? I mean, a little bit of truth, obviously. Why don't you just admit that you've been using me, Lucan. Just fucking say it already. Because it's so painful—" I stop and choke on the word for a few seconds before I can pull myself back under control. When I'm ready to talk again I only have a weak little whisper. "It's so painful to know that that you're lying to me. That you all hate me, see me as this insane girl that you have to keep around so you can save yourselves."

I turn back to Tier. He's stopped walking and is facing us again. He waits with me. To see what Lucan will say to that.

What comes out is unexpected. "Did you know that I love sunsets, Junco?"

"What?"

"Sunsets, Earth sunsets specifically," he clarifies. "I love sunsets but I had to spend thousands of years without ever seeing a single one. Coming back to Earth and seeing my first sunset again after all that time… well, it was something fantastical. I felt alive again. Not the dead thing I turned into. The stoic leader of the avians. Not the Archer of Fledge or Aves."

My eyes are still fixed on Tier as I think about this.

"Look at me, Junco. Not just glance at me, but look at me. See me for what I am right now."

I turn back to him, studying his ancient armor. The black interlocking scales remind me of a reptile's skin. I've touched it before, of course, and the smoothness is like a bucket of paint or a vat full of melted chocolate. Something that begs to be touched. I reach out. They are so soft. I'm not sure how something that's supposed to protect you can be so soft.

Lucan stretches out his bat wing and it curls around his arm a little. I touch that now too and it makes him shiver.

"Sorry," I say, looking up at his eyes again. "I see you, Lucan."

"I'm sorry as well. I know we've been dishonest."

"Pffft. Dishonest? Please."

"We've lied, kept things from you on purpose, misled you. We're guilty. And I'm sorry, I have no excuse except to say that I don't understand you at all. I misjudged you at every turn. It's all my fault. If I could go back, I'd do it all differently. Which should prove to you that I never saw these things you accuse me of. I didn't, Junco. We all knew Isten would die, but that it would affect you like this? No. We never saw that, we do not understand you. Not what you really are, not where you come from, not why you were made. The only thing I understand about you, Junco, is that you're capable of a great number of things. You are very powerful, you are a force. So it just never occurred to me that it would be so easy to break you. I did not see your end in Deliverance. Or how Kush would die. I knew Kush wouldn't make it out of the fight, but I never saw that end." He stops to search my face for some sort of comprehension, but I just swallow and look away. "You must believe me. Do you believe me?"

Do I believe him? No, not really.

"I'm not the Devil, Junco."

"I know that, Lucan. I really don't think you're the Devil but I'm not sure why you care what I think of you."

"I care because I see myself in you. I see your potential, your possibilities, and I'm worried that I'm sending you down the wrong path."

"What's this got to do with sunsets?"

He laughs softly and I look back over to Tier. He waits with me, still and quiet.

"When we had our first honest conversation, the one outside Fledge after you killed those boys, you lamented over the stars. Do you remember?"

I nod. "Yeah. I remember."

"And I thought about how I missed the sunsets on Earth. That's why I took you to see the stars that night. I wanted you to know that I understand. I really do. I have been you, Junco. I was forced to make choices when I was young and I stand by those choices to this day. I regret the price I've paid. I regret that Tier has to complete a job he wants nothing to do with. I regret that you are my saving grace and you'd rather be anything but that. I have a lot of regrets, but I am not unhappy. I am, in fact, very happy, all things considered. I never thought the Seven would be like you. I've imagined it millions of ways, but none of them even came close to what I got. I'm so glad you're my Seven, Junco. And I want you to know, above all else, that you're doing a pretty good job."

I laugh again. "Oh, crap. I hope that's not true, Lucan. I suck." It was meant to come out like a joke but the tears steal away any hope of pulling that off and suddenly they are streaming down my face.

"I know it hurts, Junco. I know you're tired. I know you have doubts and you think you're doing it all wrong. But you're doing just fine. Not perfect, but I can't expect you to comply with everything. That's not who you are. You can do it your way. I'm OK with that. I believe in you, Junco, so I will step back and stop interfering with your goals. I trust you. I know in my heart you will do the right thing in the end."

I sniff as I wipe the tears away. "I wouldn't count on that, Lucan. Seriously." When I look up at his face he is smiling. "What?"

He just shakes his head and motions for Tier to join us, which he does, and then he continues as Tier and I both wait it out together. "I understand your need for revenge, Junco. But you might be surprised to hear that I've taken care of all of that for you. We got the Vegas lab this morning. The lab where they held you."

"You have? You did?"

"Your killing is over now, Junco. I got them all, except for a few technicians in the lab that we kept for questioning. And Inanna, of course. I have no power to kill her." He stops and stares hard at me after this revelation.

"What?" I ask again. I hate it when they stop short in their explanations.

He looks like there are words on the tip of his tongue but he can't manage to get them out. He stares into my eyes for a few fractions that to me seem to stretch out like years. "It takes a certain skill level to kill a member of the High Order. I could not, for instance, kill you now that Inanna has changed you. But you could kill me. With your SEAR knife. If you had it."

My gulp is audible, I'm sure of it. He doesn't know I have one? I look over at Tier for some kind of confirmation.

"It's true, Juncs. The SEAR knife, the knife coded for you specifically, is the only thing that can dissipate Lucan."

"I am protected, you see. By…" Lucan stops here, maybe wanting to take it back, or maybe to think up a lie, or maybe just to find the right words to say it. "By another party to this whole mess. The High Order did not agree with the actions I took against the semi-sentient beings that used to populate this planet. But this other party, my counter-part, He did, so I was protected. I flooded the Earth using many, many Pillars and wiped out the pre-humans and then made a new race. I created the code that messed up the High Order genetics and corrupted the avian genome along with them. I was given that power and I used it."

"Oh," is all I can manage to say.

"But everything has a weakness, Junco. And you and your knife are mine. You could kill me right now if you had it. Just slice me in half and I'd never get back up. I'd be flung out into the Universe for a very long time. Eternity, for lack of a better word. Of course, I would fight you and I'd win. I'm much stronger. That's why Inanna won when she took you. She never gave you a chance to use the knife, did she?"

That day creeps back into my brain, the shock of her being in front of me, so close. The revelation that I was High Order too and she wanted me to go with her and wait for them to come back. But Lucan was there as well. And I chose Lucan instead of her. "No, I tried, I was gonna cut her head off. But she just raised her palm at me and I went flying backwards."

"She is strong, but she is also weak, Junco. She is not protected, she is just lucky. You are her weakness. Her daughter. Do you understand?"

I nod.

He stares at me. Hard. Like he's not quite sure if I understand or not. I'm not quite sure either, to be honest. In fact, I've probably got it all fucked up in my head, but I nod again. With more conviction this time. This makes him smile and turn to Tier.

"Take her to the Vegas lab, show her everything."

"Lucan, I'm not sure that's a good idea. She doesn't need that—"

"Raubtier, this is not a request. Take her now and show her everything."

And then he is gone.

Tier stares down at me and frowns. A deep frown that stretches across his whole face.

"What?" I ask. "What are you guys hiding now?"

"Things better left hidden, Junco. That's all." He reaches out for me, not a shoulder tap as per Lucan's usual method of transporting with me, but actually draws me into his chest. He holds me that way for several uncomfortable seconds, and then we're in the timeshift.

And this is not like any kind of timeshift I've ever experienced. Tier presses himself up against me and we are one as we travel. It's not like taking a step, it's not quick and clean. It's long and filled with heat and heartbeats. His heartbeat thumps against my body. The rhythm of it fills my head, it relaxes me and I press my cheek against his chest and wrap my arms under his wings and back around to his shoulders. We stay that way, entwined in each other's arms, until we are out of the tunnel and back to reality.

"What was that?" I ask, looking up at the soft green of his eyes.

"That, Junco, is how I feel about you."

Chapter Forty-Three

We are definitely in a lab all right. It's filled with avians, bustling about and doing things that look suspiciously like logging a crime scene to me. Cataloging things, analyzing things. It has an atmosphere that says they're trying to put all the pieces of this little puzzle back together.

Annun is over on the far end of the expansive room, past the many genetics stations that are neatly lined up down the center of the lab. He spots me watching him and raises a hand in a half wave, then turns and walks into a room that through the small crack in the door I see has a crowd of white-coated scientists in it.

The leftover technicians.

"This is where Inanna made her mutants and clones, Junco. This is where Irin lived."

"Oh crap." I look around with renewed interest.

"Follow me. Lucan wants you to see everything, so that's what we'll do."

I hesitate, wondering if I really need to see everything. "Maybe—"

Tier takes my hand, squeezes until I look up at him, and the rest of my objection is lost. "You'll be OK, I promise."

A long breath of air escapes before I can stop it. I'm nervous.

"And by the way, Snowbird?"

My eyes are searching the room, scanning, and looking for horrifying things. When Tier doesn't continue his thought, I snap back to him. "What?"

"Thank you for not saying shit."

I laugh before I can stop myself. "You know, it's hardly fair that you get to cuss all you want and I'm held to some girl standard."

"Since when has life ever been fair? If life were fair I'd have you back on that little habitat and we'd be lazing around in bed, wondering if we'd make it all day with no food or if we have to put clothes on and actually go into town to find some."

"I'd make it all day with no food, I promise."

His mouth twists into a sly grin as he leads me over towards a shadowed hallway.

And that's when I see what's been going on here. The glass rooms are filled with a hazy kind of smoke and I have to press myself up against the window to make out the small shapes lying on the ground inside.

"They gassed them," Tier says in a low whisper. "We did not do this, Junco."

The air scrubbers create a small wind and the thick gas moves in an almost clump-like mist, exposing a pile of children on the floor. The cloud moves up one body and I can make out the pants. A pattern of flowers and suns. I wait, holding my breath, until the gas drifts up over to expose the face.

Mutants.

Dressed up like children.

"They did this in the Stag too," I reply. I stare at the horror a little longer before turning away. "Only I was the one who killed them all back there."

Tier stays where he is as I pass down the line of windows. There are dozens of these little room and all of them are filled with the mutant children.

I keep my back to him as the words come out. "Does that change things for you, Tier?"

I hear him clear his throat and walk towards me as I continue slowly down the hall. "What would change things, Junco?"

"Well, now you know. I'm not just a killer of mutants on the range," I say, turning back to him. "I'm a mass murderer. I murdered hundreds of them."

"Why did ya kill them, Juncs?"

"Do you know the genetics of these monsters, Tier? Did you guys find the records?"

He swallows and nods.

"Well, the ones they were making in the Stag were children of Gideon and me. So I can only assume these little bundles of horror were made along the same lines."

He nods. "They were."

"And obviously they all come out the same way when I'm involved. Monsters. I'm not the Teumessian fox at all. I'm the Mother of all Monsters." He stays silent for this and I start moving again. I turn a corner and stop short when I see a glass-front door. It has pink curtains drawn back from the glass so you can see inside the room.