Raised By Wolves Volume four- Wolves (86 page)

I looked to Gaston. He appeared as relieved as I. However, I knew I would need to hear these things from the king before I truly trusted them—and even then… Well, monarchs often change their minds with the wind of political necessity.

“There is one other thing,” Theodore said with a sigh. “Youmust be a good member ofthe Church—ofEngland.”
I sighed and poignantly recalled Father Pierre’s words about lying to men in order to do good in the name of God. I would not be lying to the Gods if I lied to men to make a safe home for myfamily. “Ofcourse I will,”I said.
Theodore studied me with concern before at last apparentlyjudgingme sincere. He sighed withevident relief.
I met his gaze. “IfI can truly live as I wish with Gaston, I will do whatever else I must… I will shoulder this yoke of responsibility:inorder for allto prosper.”
He nodded solemnly with a small guilty smile. “I am sorryI doubted you.”
“Non, do not be. I have givenyoucause.”
The Marquis chuckled and patted Theodore’s arm. “See, I told you all would be well. He understands the responsibilities withwhichhe is entrusted.”
I supposed I did. I felt harnessed and yoked more thoroughly than I had spent the last months chained. My Horse trembled. Gaston was steady beside me, though; and I did not fancy I heard our heavily-laden cart even creak. We would survive: we would endure and conquer—despite the dragon crouched in the road ahead. Aye, the King of England was a great beast we could not slay. I supposed the Catholic Church was another; and though we had run from it, we could never hope to escape its clutches—unless we hid in the shadow of another dragon…
There was a knock on the door, and at Theodore’s call, two maids entered with trays containing hunks of bread, pots of jam, and steaming bowls of some heavenly-smelling soup that made my stomach growl. The women set their burdens on the desk and curtsied before slipping out again. Gaston and I fell upon the food like starving dogs. I decided I would not be moved to release the cook frommyservice.
“What do you wish to do now?” Theodore asked when we had scraped the bowls cleanwiththe last ofthe bread.
My belly was full and I felt bruised and battered at the base of a mountain after an avalanche of a day. My father and Shane were dead in the cellar. I was sitting at my father’s desk. Everyone I loved was purportedly safe—save those of whom I did not know the whereabouts and could not likelyfind.
“Sleep,”Gastonsaid inecho ofmyunspokenthoughts.
I nodded. The Marquis and Theodore smiled indulgently.
We had one of Jenkins’ men locate our weapons and bags, and then made sure Whyse’s man, Captain Horn, was remaining at the house. We left Theodore and the Marquis to send a messenger to our family and then return to the guest house Whyse had lent them. We followed a chambermaid to the guest room.
I did not feelsafe evenafter the door was closed and we were alone in the stuffy room with a huge draped bed and a small banked fire on the hearth. Gaston crossed to the window and threw open the shutters. I scattered the fresh coals off the flame.
“This will take a great deal of…
inuring
,” Gaston said with a weary sigh and a nose wrinkled at the muggy night air sluggishlydriftinginthe window.
I did not ask himto what he referred with
this
: it was all goingto take a great dealofaccommodation.
“We have escaped the wolves only to find ourselves betweenthe legs ofa dragon,”I said. I told himofthe image ofa

dragononthe road. “I feelI must bow to it.”
“Ifwe are to remainhere,”he said gently.
I threw myself back on the thick feather mattress. It felt

wonderful after months of hard wood, but it seemed to grasp at mylimbs like the mud ofa bog:attemptingto dragme under with its seductive luxury.

“I did not want this,” I said. “I want everyone to be well. I want what is best for everyone. But damn it all, I do not want this for me. It is heavy. I do not feelthat it makes me walk taller. I feel it lurking in the shadows like a great shroud that will fall uponme and smother mylife away.”

Naked, Gaston crouched atop me and pulled at my clothes. I let him strip me in silence. Then we were curled together nose to nose inthe terriblysoft bed. His eyes were dark and barely green in the dimcandlelight. I could not see myself in them, onlyhis love for me.

“
This
is the test,”he whispered.
“At the moment, I feelI would rather have been tortured by my father than spend the rest of my life chained on my knees bythe circumstances ofmystation.”
He nodded. “But mylove, it need not be forever.”
“Oui, somedayI willdie as allmenmust.”
He snorted and caressed my cheek. “Non, if it is unbearable, we willsimplyleave.”
“And take the children, and…”
He laid a finger onmylips. “Whynot?”
“It will anger our people, and possibly the damn dragon, and…”

He hushed me with a kiss. “Dragons must bow before Gods. We cannot know what the future will hold. If this day has provenanything, it has surelyproventhat.”

I sighed. “Whyare youso calm?”
He grinned. “One ofus must be sane.”
“AmI…”
He shook his head. “You should be worse. I would be if

I were youthis day. But I amthe luckyone.”
His humor teased my own: I grinned. “Oui, you will not
inherit.”
“I ama veryfortunate man,”he said solemnly. We laughed, and held one another, and finally slept with
pistols beneathour pillow.
I woke still tired to bright afternoon light streaming in the
window. My sleep had been filled with nightmares, and I felt I
had run throughout it. I found relief in that I did wake in the soft
bed and not chained in the hold of the
Lilly
or in the cellar
below. The truly horrifying and miraculous occurrences of last
night had not beena dream.
Gaston was speaking quietly with someone at the door.
Frowning, he glanced over his shoulder. He smiled with relief
whenhe saw me awake. He turned back to the person he spoke
to and said some other thingquite curtlyand closed the door. “What is wrong?”I asked withconcern.
“Whyse is here,” he said with a sigh as he came to join
me.
I sorted through my disjointed thoughts and
recollections. “Good, I have a thingI would ask ofhim.”

“About us: I wish for an audience with the king: to determine his true dispositiontoward us.”
He nodded and sighed. “I would say it did not matter, but it does. The maid walked in on us this morning. I almost shot her. ThenI almost shot her because havinga pistolpointed at her was not what appeared to disturb her most—nor even my scars, though they attracted her attention next. I feel she was scandalized we were naked in bed together. I instructed her to knock and then wait for us to call before coming in to check the fire and bring water. Then I had to suffer through her stammering and blushing while she cleaned the water and shards from the ewer she dropped. And just now the damn chamberlain—or whatever he is titled here—was quite rude. I do not know if he feels he need not show respect because you are a sodomite, or because he does not yet feelyouare trulyhis lord.”
He was quite angry, but I was yet too tired to even feel umbrage. “I slept throughthis?”
He let his anger go. “Like one dead,”he teased.
“I do not feelI slept at all.”
“You did not sleep well,” he said gently; and I saw the circles about his eyes and surmised he had not slept at all.
“We will likely have to release them all and hire new ones,”I said. “Their minds and hearts willbe poisoned against us by their expectations and the gossip Jenkins spoke of—even if we were not matelots. I will not behave as my father did, and therefore I will not behave properly. And I will not bear their censure.”
Gaston nodded thoughtfully. “It will be months before
Gaston nodded thoughtfully. “It will be months before we can feelcomfortable here—ifthen. At this moment, allI want to do is see the children. And then we must tell Striker of Pete, and I must speak to Yvette—and myfather, and…”
“I do not feel we should tell Striker of Pete,” I said with alarm. “We canlet Pete tellhim.”
My man frowned. “We do not know where Pete is, or if he is alive. How canwe not tellStriker?”
“Oh,” I said with a sigh. “I thought you meant about Chris and…”
His eyes widened with alarm. “Non, we will not tell him ofthat. Oui, ifPete lives,
he
cantellhimofthat.”
I chuckled.
He sighed and flopped down to lie beside me with his hand on mine. “I have lain here all night thinking of what lies before us.”
I smiled. “I have dreamt of it: you at least had the solace ofordered thoughts.”
“I would not say that.” He rolled to me and met my gaze with calmer eyes. “We will make what we promised the Gods: what we promised Venus: a home filled with love. But I feel the road will never truly be level and I see ambuscades at every bend.”
“Oui, but is a life free ofadventure worthliving?”
“Non,”he sighed happily. “And I willdo it withyou.”He kissed me.
I savored it and was reluctant to part. “Well, come then, let us meet with this Whyse and take steps to assure ourselves it will be here. As much as I love the Gods, and appreciate all will be here. As much as I love the Gods, and appreciate all They have wrought here, I will surely not forsake you in acceptingit.”
Fresh water and bread and jam arrived while we performed our toilet. Then we dressed in the clothes we had worn the day before. I fingered the soiled tunic and breeches in my bag with sadness. Even if they were clean and repaired, I could not go about towninthem.
“I will not surrender my earrings,” I said as we strapped onour sword belts and baldrics.
“You had best not,” he agreed with a smile. “And I will not surrender mygood weapons for shinyornate ones.”
“Non, certainly not,” I agreed. “Men fear a lord with a serviceable sword.”
“We will still need to appoint someone to do Jenkins’

best make his damnwayto England soon.”
Gastonchuckled. “That willbe a thingfor mento fear.” Whyse was dressed all in red again, but his jacket and

breeches were now of a different brocade. I wondered if I should choose a wardrobe in some color, or spread the misery throughout the rainbow. I would not dress in black as my father had. I thought Gaston would look fine always dressed in greens. Perhaps I should choose blues.

“Ah, there you are, good afternoon,” Whyse said effusively. “I trust youare wellrested now.”
“Nay,”I said. “I feelit willtake weeks for me to recover fromrecent events. I stilldo not believe this is allreal.”
“Ah,”he said withsincere concern. “I cansee where that would be the case. What—only two days ago you were chained on a ship? And then to see your father and—childhood friend? —die so suddenly, after…
fearing
meetingwiththem?”
“Aye, all of that,” I said and smiled. I could not dislike this man. Gastonand I took a seat onthe settee again.
“Well, I will reluctantly try to keep this visit brief, then,” he said as he folded his long limbs into one of the chairs that still stood before the couch. “Though you are the first person we can reliably question concerning Morgan’s and Modyford’s actions; and the kingis quite anxious to hear ofit.”
“I am happy to oblige,” I said. “I will be quite happy to do whatever the king requires of me. However, there is a thing I seek assurance on—fromthe king.”
He raised aneyebrow but nodded.
I glanced at Gaston and found him smiling calmly. I looked back at Whyse. “This man here is more important to me than king or country, or gold or title, or anything other than perhaps the lives of our children—and even that, God forgive me, I would questionina moment ofduress.”
“We have been given to understand that,” Whyse said witha knowingsmile. “And,
we
understand your concern.”
“I ampleased to hear it, but pardon me my presumption, and I meanno disrespect to you, but I would hear it from
him
.”
Whyse smiled. “Of course, and he is anxious to meet with you as well. There are things he would hear only fromyour lips; despite your solicitor and…” He frowned. “How should the Marquis de Tervent be considered inrelationto your person?”
“As my father-in-law, if only the law would allow it,” I sighed.
Whyse nodded and smiled. “I have been thinking of him as your father:he surelyacts as ifhe is your father.”
“Unlike my own,” I said. “Aye, but he cannot speak for me. What would the kinghave ofme?”
“The king is interested in having young lords in his court who have things to sayand are willingto saythem. He so seldom gets to hear the opinion of men who do not merely wish to curry

Whyse grinned. “He is not concerned. It is a thing expected. He is, after all, a king.”
I chuckled, but the import of his words seemed unfathomable. “So the kingdoes wishfor me to joinhis court?”
“Aye, bothofyou.”
I glanced at Gastonand found himtense withalarm.
“Worrynot,”Whyse said witha dismissingwave. “There are a number of avowed sodomites in His Majesty’s court. Several of them have lovers of long standing. And there have been a number of liaisons between men of title and station— some ending poorly. Surely it has been the same in every other court youhave visited.”
“It has, and on occasion I have been the subject of both conjecture and scandal in that way,” I said with ease. “But not whenmyfamily’s title and livelihood have beeninvolved.”
“Ah,” he said knowingly. “You are indeed a noble man. And yet so noble youwould abandonyour nobility.”He grinned.
“Just so,”I said.
Still, whether or not we would be accepted as a couple was but a smallthingwhencompared withsubjectingour Horses to court – or specifically, Gaston’s. I looked to himagain and he met mygaze witha small, resigned smile.
I sighed and turned back to Whyse. “We shall be delighted to oblige the king whenever it meets his pleasure—and we can be properly attired. Now, what would you have me say ofMorgan?”
“The truth, I hope,”Whyse said witha laugh.
I told him all I knew of Morgan and Modyford, starting with the salient facts and working my way through the boring details. We were discussing the occupation of Panama and how it compared with Maracaibo and Porto Bello when Theodore, the Marquis, and to our surprise and happiness, Liam, Striker, and Rachel arrived. Seeing our excited greeting of these newcomers, Whyse left us with the promise of wishing to hear more ofour adventures another day.
“How did you get here so quickly?” I asked Striker. “Rolland Hallis two days’ ride.”
“We were on our way,” Striker said. “Liam and I left when Theodore sent word you had arrived in Portsmouth. We rode straight through. Mistress Aurora was alreadyhere.”
At our frown, they allpointed at Racheland she stepped forward to speak quietlyas Theodore closed the studydoor.
“Mister Theodore and I have decided on a different arrangement,” she said quickly and quietly. “We are not married here. All must think that Elizabeth’s mother died in childbirth.” She held her hand up to stop our yet unspoken protests and concern. “It is for the best. Theodore will be no good to you or himself if he is married to a Jewess; and I have returned to my faith.”She turned and gave her husband a smile ofgreat love and regard, which he returned. “We stilllove one another very much, and we will be as man and wife in all but name. But it is best if I amMistress RachelAurora, his housekeeper, Elizabeth’s nanny, and the friend ofhis late wife.”
I looked fromone to the other as Theodore stepped up behind her to embrace her happily. I glanced at Gaston, and he sighed withresignationand a bemused smile.
“Who are we to complain about another’s arrangements?” I said. They laughed. “Truly, as long as it is not for mybenefit, or the benefit ofthe damntitle and all…”
“We could not know you would gain the title when we made this decision,” Theodore said. “On the voyage here, Mistress Aurora decided she wished to return to the faith of her birth. We discussed the matter at length, together, and with a rabbi once in Rotterdam; and we decided on this course. The rabbi here in London does not believe we are sharing a bed, however.”
I laughed. I was relieved to hear they were sharing a bed after his concerns of never being able to touch her again for fear ofanother tragic pregnancy.
“Mistress Aurora?”Gastonasked.
“Hannah, Mistress Doucette, and the Lady Dorshire helped me choose it,” Rachel said with pride. “To signify the start ofa new time inmylife.”
“Mistress Aurora it is, then,”I said.
“Now,” Striker said firmly, “do you truly not know where
my
matelot is?”
I suppressed a grimace. “We last saw himat the fortress of San Lorenzo before we marched on Panama. We did not have time to seek himbefore we were captured upon our return to that place. Theywere supposed to travelwithPeirrot.”
He sat heavily with a sigh. He looked well. They all did: a little taut withworry, but not too thinor fat.
“They knew we were coming here,” I continued. “We cannot know if they saw or heard of our capture, though. It is possible they thought we escaped and departed in secret on another vessel. Cudro and Ash saw us last. We can only guess what anyofthemknow.”
“He willcome here?”Striker asked.
“He should. I would think that unless…” I did not wish to say that unless circumstances with Chris prevented it. Striker was watching me. “Unless he could not find a captain to sail them here. They had the money. I would think the four of them could find one another and come here. And this—England—is where we agreed to meet. There was no plan for them to go to the Netherlands.”
“The stupid girlwas stillwithyou?”Striker asked.
Theodore and the Marquis were frowning, obviously remembering some of what Gaston and I had said last night. I could onlyhope theywould keep their mouths shut.
I sighed. “Aye, we passed her off as a youth, and… she