Rainey's Christmas Miracle (3 page)

“Clarissa, you will not become your mother. I have a similar relationship with my own and I know what you’re thinking. We are not programmed to be like our mothers. We are given free will and our experiences alone will make us different. The clothes, the make-up, the attitude, none of it is necessary. You don’t have to go that far to distance yourself from her.”

“Wow, you’re freakin’ good at this shit.”

Rainey laughed, her eyes on the road, scanning for an open store.

Clarissa wanted more. “What the fuck is wrong with my mother? I’ve seen pictures and home movies. She used to be cool like Katie and Helena.”

“In my experience,” Rainey began carefully, because she was speaking about the girl’s mother, “when people change like that it usually means they’ve had a life experience which shifted their value system. Your mother values her family more than anything else. In doing so, she has developed a belief system that protects that family. In her eyes, she is safeguarding what is precious to her. Her need to control everything and everyone is a symptom of her very real insecurities about losing the one thing that gives her purpose.”

“She is driving us all away. My sister, Carla, won’t even come home anymore and Dad’s just given up. Mom is so judgmental and intolerant of anything that doesn’t fit in her carefully constructive conservative box, it makes me crazy. It seems to be getting worse.”

“Don’t let her get to you,” Rainey offered, but she knew that was impossible. Maria infuriated everybody at some point. “Her daughters leaving the nest may have sparked all the changes. She loves you both desperately. She can’t be all bad, right? There has to be something good in her that you can focus on.”

“Do you feel that way about your mother? Mom said you don’t even talk to her.”

It appeared Katie had been gossiping with her sister. Even though Katie and Maria fought often, they were still sisters and talked every week. That was something Rainey couldn’t understand. She was an only child and the blood bonds that held Katie and her sisters together were a mystery to her. Rainey cut all ties with her mother over the same kind of behavior Maria displayed. Rainey figured Maria had not pushed Katie far enough, but that day would come if things didn’t change.

She considered her answer carefully, before she said, “I hope that you are able to maintain a relationship with your mother. Unfortunately, my situation is a bit more complicated than yours.”

“I don’t know how much more complicated it could be. I have a right-wing, housewife terrorist for a mother.”

Rainey laughed. “There are worse things.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Clarissa said, picking at one of the fake shotgun shells.

Rainey saw the lights on in a market just up the street. “I hope they have whipping cream. Katie doesn’t handle disappointment too well these days.”

“I know. She cried when she saw that there wasn’t any left, because Mom used it in the mashed potatoes,” Clarissa said, adding, “I don’t know how she’s carrying all the baby weight. She’s huge.”

Rainey put the car in park and turned to Clarissa. “Do me a favor and don’t mention how big you think she looks. She’s kind of touchy about that.”

Rainey grabbed the door handle and started to get out, when Clarissa stopped her.

“Rainey, I’m glad Katie found you. You guys are really sweet together. I hope I find a love like that one day.”

Rainey smiled. “You will. Be patient.”

Clarissa laughed. “Katie said the same thing, only she added that I should keep my options open. Actually, she said, ‘You never know what life has in store for you until it happens.’ I think that’s good advice.”

“Your aunt is a very wise woman. Listen to her.”

“Thanks, Rainey. I’m glad you’re part of the family.”

Rainey reached out and squeezed Clarissa’s hand. “Me too.”

#

Rainey was thankful that several cartons of whipping cream were still in the cooler and tipped the clerk ten bucks for making her life easier. She listened as Clarissa chattered about school and her projects all the way back to the Meyers' house, commenting when needed, but mostly lost in thought. The nursery was complete at home. Katie had stocked up on everything they would need. She seemed supremely prepared for the challenge of raising triplets. Rainey had barely become accustomed to the idea of being a parent when she was told she would be raising three children at once. She’d had months to get used to the idea, but it was still overwhelming. Katie’s confidence made it easier to deal with the fact that Rainey was scared to death.

At Ernie’s Christmas party last night, Rainey was standing alone, staring up at the clear night sky. The recent clouds had parted, revealing the stars in the new-moon blackness. Ernie was suddenly at her side, wearing her special Christmas sweater that would take first prize at any bad holiday costume contest. In fact, it had been a secret Santa gag-gift from Rainey years ago. Ernie wore it every Christmas Eve from that time forward. Ernestine Womble was the loving mother Rainey wished she’d had. They loved each other fiercely and, genetics aside, were family.

Ernie’s white hair glistened, reflecting the colors of the blinking lights from the tree behind them. Ernie’s house was decorated with enough lights to land a jumbo jet. No tree, bush, barn, or piece of farm equipment escaped becoming a flashing symbol of holiday spirit. Music played in the background, as Henry, Ernie’s husband, and her four sons picked guitars, banjos, and fiddles for the gathering of neighbors and friends. Most of the crowd was occupied with steaming oysters piled on panels of plywood stretched across sawhorses. Katie, who was avoiding seafood because of the pregnancy, was stretched out on a lawn chair covered in a blanket near the open fire. Several of the women from the shelter Katie ran sat with her, sipping hot chocolate. Their eyes were scared, as if trapped like wild animals. Rainey was reminded of how blessed she and Katie were to have put their lives back together, after their own battles with cruelty.

Katie smiled and waved to her from across the yard. Rainey returned the wave and was warmed all over with the adoration she felt for the beautiful blonde looking back at her.

“Still moon-eyed in love with that girl, aren’t ya’?” Ernie asked.

Rainey grinned down at Ernie. “Always.”

“Are you ready for the big day?”

“I think so. Katie’s thought of everything. I can’t imagine needing anything else. She even bought a defibrillator and took a First Aid class. She checked that my certifications were up to date and made me show her I knew how to do infant CPR.”

Ernie sipped her coffee, which Rainey knew was laced with a little bourbon. She looked up at Rainey, steam following her words into the air.

“That’s not what I meant. Are
you
ready? I saw you’ve been reading that parenting book. Honey, you won’t find the answer you’re looking for in there.”

Rainey smiled. “And what might I be looking for, do you think?”

“You want to know if you’ll be a good parent. Here’s the facts. No, you won’t have all the answers. Yes, you’ll do some things wrong. No, it won’t always be a fun ride. And yes, you will fall madly in love with those babies the first time you lay eyes on them and you’ll learn to be the best damn parent you can. That’s all there is to it.”

Rainey turned serious. “Were you scared the first time? Was Henry scared?”

Ernie threw her head back and cackled. “Oh Lord, honey. Henry ran around here like a chicken with its head cut off. He couldn’t tell you which way was up. I’m surprised we made it to the hospital in one piece. I was more worried about him out in the waiting room than having a baby. They had to put him in a wheelchair, because he nearly fainted when we got there. The last time I saw him they had a paper bag over his face, telling him to breathe.”

“I think I’m okay with the birth thing. We’ll be behind a curtain, so I won’t have to see the actual C-section. With as much as I’ve seen, I don’t think it will spook me,” Rainey answered confidently.

“It’s different when it’s someone you love under the knife. Don’t get too cocky, Rainey.” Ernie laughed. “You’ll end up breathing in a bag.”

Rainey joined in Ernie’s laughter. “You’re probably right.”

Ernie’s laughter faded. She touched Rainey on the arm. “You’ll be fine, honey. Katie’s mother is going to stay with you for a while and I’ll be around, you know that. We’ll get through this together, one big mish-mashed family. Those kids are going to have more folks loving them than you can shake a stick at. You’re not alone, Rainey. Just remember that.”

“Thanks, Ernie,” Rainey said, hugging the smaller woman to her.

“Have you spoken to Constance?”

Ernie was referring to Rainey’s biological mother, whom Rainey had told to “fuck off” last spring. Rainey had not told her mother about the triplets, because Rainey being a lesbian did not go over very well. She was sure the fact that she and Katie were having children would send Constance Herndon into orbit.

“No, I haven’t spoken to her since last April.”

“Grandchildren have a way of warming cold hearts,” Ernie said, casually.

Rainey knew Ernie never said anything casually. She was sending a subtle message, “Talk to your mother.”

“Good thing we’re having three at one time. They’ll need to work as a team. It’ll take a blow torch to melt that Grinch’s iceberg heart.”

Ernie smiled. She didn’t like Constance anymore than Rainey did. “So, she’s the Grinch that stole Christmas now.”

Rainey laughed. “Katie made me watch every children’s holiday special this year. She wanted to make sure they weren’t too violent. I told her we watched them when we were little and she said, ‘Yes, and you carry a gun everywhere.’ I’m afraid she may cover the kids in bubble-wrap before they go outside.”

“She’ll figure out they’re not as fragile as they seem. Give her a little time.” Ernie patted Rainey’s arm again. “I think Constance deserves to know she’s a grandmother. What she does with that information, well that is entirely up to her. I wouldn’t expect much, but she should know.”

Rainey knew she wouldn’t win this argument and gave in. “Okay, I’ll call her after they are born.”

Ernie smiled. “Good.” She stared up at the sky and then sighed softly. “I wish your daddy could be here.”

Rainey looked up at one particular twinkling star. “Don’t worry. He’s with us, always.”

The memory faded and Rainey returned to listening to Clarissa, who was rounding out the end of her story about a piercing gone terribly wrong. Rainey pulled the car into the driveway, parked, and shut down the engine.

“So, anyway, I won’t be piercing that particular part of my anatomy again.” She looked at Rainey, who was just staring at her. “TMI, I guess, huh?”

Rainey smiled and took the sack containing the whipping cream from behind Clarissa’s seat. It was then she noticed the sticker Clarissa had placed on her vest. She must have picked it up in the store.

“Did you put that sticker on just to piss off your mother?” Rainey asked.

“No. I read about this Amendment One deal and I think it’s total bullshit. It doesn’t ‘protect marriage’ at all. It strips not only LGBT families of any rights, but the rights of all domestic relationships except those designated as legally married by state law. It’s prejudicial, bad for business, and simply a ploy by the right wing conservatives to drive people to the polls through hate and discrimination.”

Out of the mouths of babes, Rainey thought. The corner of her mouth twitched. She wanted to laugh, but the sticker was sure to start a discussion that would lead straight back to her. “I’d rather get through this afternoon without Katie’s blood pressure skyrocketing. If you don’t mind, can we not discuss politics over Christmas dinner? By the way, I appreciate your being so informed. I wish others were.”

Clarissa peeled the sticker from her vest and rolled it up. She stuck it in her pocket and said, “In honor of this special family gathering, I shall resist the temptation to tell my mother what pompous-assholes she and the people behind this amendment are.”

Rainey extended her hand for Clarissa to shake, saying, “And I will do my best not to let her get to me either, deal?”

Clarissa shook Rainey’s hand and they exited the car. Katie greeted them at the backdoor that opened into the kitchen. She gave Rainey a peck on the cheek, after looking in the bag and seeing that Rainey had been successful.

From across the kitchen, Maria piped up, “Do you have to rub it in our faces?”

Katie deflected the challenge. “What, that I happen to be grateful that Rainey was able to find what I needed to finish the pies, or that I think she’s smokin’ hot and I love her madly?”

Rainey’s hand shot to her face to cover her snicker. She saw Clarissa attempt to do the same thing, but it was a massive fail. Clarissa gave up trying not to laugh aloud and patted her aunt on the shoulder. “Good one, Aunt Katie. Don’t let her bully you. See, Mom, it really does get better.”

Clarissa had already forgotten her promise not to goad her mother. Rainey remembered teenagers’ frontal lobes were not fully developed and they were not to be trusted. Since Katie appeared to be enjoying herself, remaining calm and wearing a smile — and most importantly Rainey was not the target at the moment — she decided to stand back and watch. Clarissa wasn’t finished and stepped between Katie and Maria.

“So, Mom, what if I told you I’m a lesbian? What would you do then?”

Helena leaned on the counter sipping wine. She looked over the top of her glass and said, “Oh, this is going to be priceless. Where’s my phone? I need to put this on Youtube.”

Melanie looked up from checking the pies just in time to see Maria storm toward Rainey. Maria’s targeting strategy had changed. She was now barreling down on Rainey, her face scarlet with rage.

“I knew I should not have let my young daughter near the likes of you. What did you do to her while you were gone? Is that what took you so long? You couldn’t keep your hands off that child. People like you should be locked up. You should never be allowed around children.”

Rainey was stunned. She had gone from innocent bystander to pedophile in less time than it took Maria to cross the floor. She looked over Maria’s head at Katie who had the most surprised look on her face. Helena sprayed wine in every direction. Melanie let the oven door slam shut. The room fell absolutely silent. Rainey tried to maintain a calm exterior, while her mind thought of all the things she would like to say to Maria, reminding herself that others were present. She used the same skills, developed sitting across the table from the scum of the earth, not to let her true emotions show.