Raging Star (43 page)

The visions are fake! It’s Wrecker tech! shouts Jack. He ain’t no Pathfinder. He’s a trickster. A liar.

Nero starts to screech. The crowd erupts to confusion an anger. Some of ’em surge towards us. The Tonton run to form a line. They push back aginst the bodies with their firesticks.

DeMalo ain’t moved. He’s frozen. Blank-faced. Clutchin his chunk of crystal rock.

Speak to me, Pa. What happened? says Tommo. Why didn’t you come back? Look fer me?

Answer yer son, I says. Answer these people. Tell us. We all wanna know.

His face changes. From nuthin to rage. In the split of a second. Wild, black rage. He drops the rock, pulls a knife an lunges at Tommo.

I dive at Tommo too. Knock him to the ground. DeMalo’s knife slashes my arm. Tommo’s back on his feet. DeMalo goes fer him agin.

I seize the crystal rock.

I raise it high.

I smash DeMalo in the head.

One heavy blow to the back of his skull. With the swing of my full weight behind it.

He goes down.

Like a stone.

He don’t move.

I’m on my knees beside him. Feelin fer life. My fingers wet with his blood. His head’s crushed. A mess of hair, blood an bone. Tommo’s with me. He helps to turn him over.

Seth, I says.

He’s dead.

Words need sayin. So I do.

After a moment, I close his eyes. An behold, this day I go the way of all the earth.

There’s silence. From the crowd. From the Tonton. The visions play on. The music plays on. Nero drifts quietly above.

I look at Tommo. I’m so sorry. I didn’t plan that, I says.

He stares down at the father who denied him. He would of killed me, he says. He was ashamed of me. That’s why he left.

I touch Tommo’s face. He had wrong ideas, I says.

Yer arm’s bleedin, he says.

Only now do I remember the knife caught me. The point ripped my sleeve. Sliced my skin, not deep. I’m fine, I says. It ain’t nuthin.

The Tonton ain’t known what to do all this time. Now
a couple of ’em move towards us, their guns pointed. They falter. They stop. They turn away.

Becuz there’s somethin happenin. In the meadow below, Stewards cry out. They’re startin to run towards the ridge. Me an Tommo stand slowly. I cain’t believe my eyes.

A tide of people flow down from the ridge. Slaves in their collars. The Snake River folk who went back to the farms. I see Creed an Ash an Slim. There’s Molly an Auriel with the rest of ’em from Nass Camp. Women from the babyhouses with infants in their arms. Many others, Stewards, carry babies as well. People call out as they spot friends an family. They run. They embrace. There’s tears an laughter.

It’s what we wanted. It’s what’s right. I’m glad fer them all. I only wish I could feel it in my heart.

A Tonton grabs me. Shoves a gun in my back. Another Tonton’s grabbed Tommo.

What’s the plan? I says.

Wait fer orders, says my guard.

So we stand there, the four of us, an watch the reunions. Watch as the children from Edenhome run free, lookin fer their brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, anyone at all they know. I cain’t miss Nell’s copper hair. She’s found Webb. Him an Peg are free of their bonds. Deserted by their Tonton guards. An Tracker’s bin set free too. Peg’s got hold of him. She raises her hand when she sees me lookin their way.

When did you know? says Tommo.

I turn my head to find him lookin at me. Not till Edenhome, I says. When I seen yer bracelet. I cain’t believe I didn’t realize before. You are so like him.

If it was Seth’s child I lost, it would have bin brother or sister to Tommo. What a very strange thought that is.

His eyes shift away, then back to me. You called him Seth, he says.

Keep quiet, says my guard.

We’ll talk later, I says.

A few commanders shout orders, but the Tonton’re fallin apart. Some throw down their guns an walk away. Some find theirselfs bein disarmed by Creed an Ash, Vain Ed an other Stewards. They don’t put up no resistance.

Tommo’s guard spots a Tonton commander walkin up the hill in our direction. Sir! he shouts. Prisoners here, sir. Awaitin orders.

The Tonton commander is Jack.

As he comes towards us, he says, Release all prisoners an stand down.

Stand down, sir? says my guard.

That’s the order, he says. We’re disbanded. This is over. No more Tonton. As Jack speaks, he throws off his black cloak. Unbuckles his weapons belt. If yer amenable to society, he says, there might be a place fer you here in New Eden. There’s a man down there’ll tell you what comes
next, what you hafta do. His name’s Salmo Slim. You cain’t miss him.

They hesitate, jest fer a moment. Then they’re gone without further ado.

Tommo’s already got Jack by the hand. I might of known you wouldn’t stay dead fer long, he says. Then, with a glance at the two of us, he heads down the hill.

He didn’t ask about Emmi or Lugh. He must be able to see it in me.

An we’re alone. Me an Jack. With Seth lyin a few foot away. We don’t look at him. We move outta the room an a few steps down the slope. The noise of celebration fills the mornin air. The late autumn sun shines bright. There ain’t a cloud in the blue blue sky.

We stand a little bit apart.

The day’s turned out fine after all, says Jack.

I’m sure I got you to thank fer all this, I says. I didn’t know what I was gonna do. Thank you.

You set it all goin, he says. Once it got started, it was amazin how quick it went. Like a runaway horse. I had to hold it back some. We needed the … what did you call it? The big gawdamn rumble. You gave us that, no question. Talk about wingin it, though. That was hairy, even by my standards. But you did it. I didn’t … really believe it would work. I would never of thought of it. Congratulations.

I nod at the scene below us. It’s them you need to congratulate, I says.

We’re talkin as if we’re two strangers.

He turns to look at the walls of the vision room behind us. Silent now. Jest white walls. Nuthin more.

You was in this room with him, he says. In the bunker. Before you an me went together. That’s how you knew about the light. His eyes go to DeMalo. Then to me. You owe me the truth, he says.

It was when I believed you’d turned aginst us, I says. You was at Darktrees. You sent me back the heartstone. I didn’t unnerstand why, you know that. An then you took Emmi an Lugh warn’t there an—I was in a bad way. I fell, Jack. I didn’t wanna be caught, but he caught me. He was the only one there. He saved my life an—

I cain’t look at him.

Jack’s silent. You did ask how I’d feel if you’d bin with somebody else, he says. I had no idea you meant him.

It got very … complicated, I says.

I can only imagine, he says.

I’m jest about to say somethin. I dunno what. Maybe

I never loved him, I love you, always you, can you ever fergive me fer my lies an deceit

but a horde of people come rushin up the hill. Ash an Creed an Slim an Molly. An Tommo agin. An Cassie. There’s Webb
an Ruth an their coppernob Nell. An Vain Ed the miller an JB, the very last Treedog. I’m grabbed by them an swept away down the hill in a wave of celebration an laughter. Come on, Jack! cries Molly. Come with us!

I look back but he’s already gone.

I
T FELL APART SO QUICKLY.
S
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New Eden. I was right. He did build it on fault lines. He was right. The story will be told fer generations to come. It jest won’t be the story he intended.

New Eden it will remain in name. But in spirit an body, it’s already startin to be somethin else. Somethin good an right an hopeful.

There’s much mournin to be done. Much healin that’s needed. Much atonement to be made fer grave wrongs. Much fergiveness to be granted from some bigger place within us. Fer many, it’s like bein wrenched from a dreamworld where they’ve long bin held captive. Such was the power of one man. His vision, his passion, his belief, his will.

The people of this New Eden will need courage an faith. They must be strong enough never to be followers agin. Healin the earth an all who share her is the work of many lives an it will take many lifetimes. DeMalo said that. He was right.

At the centre of New Eden will be a council of nine wise women. The first council they choose includes Mercy, Auriel, Molly an Ash. They’ve chosen well. They try to choose me, but I won’t be chosen. My warrior’s part is played out. The strength of New Eden, their future lies with them, the people. An them alone.

There’s a few here can read, Tommo among them. They’re startin to discover the secrets of the seedstore. That gift from the past to the future, which is now. I’m hopeful fer New Eden. Fer the earth an the sky. The water an the trees. The beasts an the people.

If I’m hopeful fer myself, I hope fer no more than this. That beyond the horizon, somewhere, someday, I can live with myself an what I’ve done. I cain’t ask fergiveness fer the highest of my sins. Them I’d beg it of are dead.

So I ain’t fer this land no more. I’m done here. I hafta move on. An keep movin.

I stand with Mercy as she burns her slave rags. A great pyre is built. All the slaves’ clothes are placed upon it an we all bear witness to the fire. Black smoke billows upwards an fades to the blue.

I say what needs sayin to them I love. To those I’ll carry always in my heart. I tell the truth, at last. All of what I did, to all of them, all together. None of it’s easy. I don’t come off well. I ask fergiveness from that bigger place within them.

Lugh’s part in this, I don’t say. I tell them he took Nero, in the hope I’d be frightened an give up. His care was only fer Emmi an me. Everythin he done was fer love of us, to keep us safe. That’s all they ever need to know.

I spend a long time with Tommo. Jest the two of us, alone. He tells me of his life before Ike. What he remembers of his years with his father. I tell him what good things I can of Seth.
We talk of Lugh an Emmi. We talk of his feelins fer me. An of my deep care fer him. He tells me how he asked Creed fer advice on how to win me. By the end, he’s emptied his dark eyes of secrets. By the end, we’ve reached some kinda peace.

Then we go to the hilltop meadow where Seth lies. Tommo buried his father hisself. Jest him, with his own hands. That’s how he wanted it to be. Together we plant a young ash tree at the grave. Its roots will grow strong among his bones.

Molly seeks me out. It was Lugh that she lay with in the woods. How strange. How very strange. That them two should come together. He, who hated Jack, an she, who loves him. It started between them jest after Resurrection. Their hurt brought them together. They never spoke of Jack. It warn’t no great love match, but they cared sweetly fer each other.

I’m glad Lugh had Molly in his life. That he knew her light an her strength. She tells me of his tenderness to her. How it fell like balm upon her soul. I’m glad that she knew him to be kind an good. An I’m the first to be told her secret. She’s with child. Lugh’s child. He never knew. She never got the chance to tell him.

A tiny spark of hope lights within me.

When I’ve made my farewells an packed Hermes up, I do the one thing I’ve left until last.

I go to the twisted old oak where they lie. My golden heart, Lugh. An my Emmi. I loved her well. But too late.

The children of my mother an father. Dead an buried in the short days of the year. When the light fails early an things perish.

I’ve bin told an now I see it fer myself. Their cairns are covered with tributes. Posies of late flowers. Bunches of berries an autumn leaves. Grasses an ivies an polished stones. Beautiful things of the earth. I could wish they’d bin burnt on a pyre so their souls could rise free to the stars. But I know they’ll find their way there somehow. An it’s fittin that they be in the ground. Since they gave their lives fer this land.

I cain’t leave them here without me. We three must lie together, somehow.

I scrape a narrow pit between them. In it, I bury the Angel of Death. I lay my armour that never saw a fight. My metal-plate jerkin an armbands. An, obedient to the dream that’s haunted me so long, I put Auriel’s red shawl on top. I cover it with earth an pile stones above. Nero watches from the top of Lugh’s cairn.

Auriel’s voice comes from behind me. Her cool, clear voice, like a mountain stream. Every people need a place of visitation. Every people need a story, she says.

I git to my feet. They’ve all gathered quietly while I bin workin. Auriel. Mercy an Tracker. Molly. Ash. Creed. Slim. An Tommo. Tommo, of course.

A long time ago, says Auriel, when the land was sick an hope lay dyin there was twins born at midwinter. A girl, dark as the night. A boy, light as the day. An so it goes, she says with
a smile. I can tell you, that cairn in the middle will soon rise high above the other two.

That ain’t a sight I wanna see, I says. It’s time fer me to go.

I cain’t look at their dear faces. I give Tracker a last kiss on his head. Then I go over to Hermes, sayin, No long goodbyes. We already said what needs sayin.

No fuss, we promise, says Slim. We knew you’d try to sneak off. We’re jest here to wave you on yer way.

I swing myself onto Hermes’ back. I steel myself to look at them. One long last time.

Ash is red-eyed from cryin. Gawdamnmit, Saba, she says.

Molly rests one hand on her belly where my brother’s child now grows. Creed stands next to her, a few foot away. Their bodies incline towards each other. Neether one of ’em realize.

The heartstone hangs cool around my neck. You don’t own a heartstone. You jest become its keeper fer a time. When it’s led you to yer heart’s desire, you pass it on to someone else.

I pull it over my head. Molly, I says. This is yers now.

I throw it to her. She catches an looks startled. It’s hot, she says. What does that mean?

Look beside you, I says. Then pass it on.

We raise hands in farewell. Hermes moves out. An I ride away from my life.