Rachel Golden and the Retriever of Sin (8 page)

As soon as this thought had formed in her head she heard the crashing rumble of something heavy breaking cover just behind her. Barely had she turned her head when the massive weight of Pig-face slammed into her back. He had charged her with his head down, and his snout and tusks had caught her right in the kidney. The wind was knocked out of her and all she could do was gasp as she flew through the air, brambles tearing at her clothes and skin, before she landed in a crumpled heap in the middle of the clearing.

From where she lay dazed on the forest floor she heard the grunting laugh of her assailant as he lumbered out of the bushes toward her. She couldn’t even move, but groaned at the pain of the hit. So much for my Hero reflexes, she thought as she lay face down in the dirt.

Before her attacker could get to her, there was a second crashing of foliage, and Kel came tearing across the clearing. He leapt over Rachel and hit Pig-boy hard in the chest with a double-footed flying kick. Damn, that boy could
move.
As Rachel struggled to breathe and right herself, two other figures emerged from the bushes. One of them looked like a giant rat, and the other looked like… Toby?? What the frick was he doing in Altworld? She screwed up her eyes, thinking she must be concussed.

Still on the ground from when he’d hit Pig-face, Kel threw his legs back then flipped onto his feet in one impressive kung-fu movement. Despite the pain she was in, Rachel had to admire her friend’s skill. He was facing the two newcomers, who had split up and were approaching him from different sides. And to make matters worse, Pig-face was starting to get up too. That couldn’t be possible, Rachel thought to herself. Kel had hit him like a freight train. They guy should be
dead
. Was this Altworld rules? And if so, why wasn’t she back on her feet too?

The guy who looked like Toby seemed to be hanging back, waiting for the rat creature to attack first. Which it did. He swiped at Kel’s face with his claws, leaving four scarlet lines of blood on the Safeguarder’s cheek. Though Kel was much larger and stronger than his opponent, Ratboy was fast. Rachel screwed up her eyes against the pain and staggered to her feet. NO ONE messed with her friend.

Toby called to Ratboy to warn him, but too late. Rachel caught him in the face with a backward spinning kick, knocking out one of his long yellow incisors. He crumpled to the ground, unconscious. Though Kel had brute strength, Rachel had speed and skill. Together they were unstoppable. The two of them turned to face Toby. And it really
was
Toby. Rachel had no idea what he was doing in Altworld, but this wasn’t the time to find out. Now their last standing enemy was looking scared, and backed away to the edge of the clearing.

Rachel was suddenly aware of feeling quite dizzy, and of a warm wetness on the back of her shirt where she’d been hit. When she reached around to touch her back, her hand came away red with blood. Pig-face’s tusk must have impaled her. Oh. So that’s why it took me a while to get up, she thought, dreamily, as her vision began to blacken around the edges. Still, Kel can take this guy no problem…

Just then her pocket watch ding-ed. Both Kel and Toby turned to look at her, and Toby’s eyes flashed hungrily. And then there was a snort and a whinny from behind Kel. ‘Oh look,’ Rachel said quietly, ‘a unicorn.’ Pig-face had untied one of the beasts and was holding him by his tether just behind Kel. The massive animal reared up on its hind legs and hit him hard in the face with a hoof the size of a church bell. Kel dropped like a sack of bricks and that was the last thing Rachel saw.

RACHEL WAS JIGGLED AWAKE. SHE WAS LYING FACE DOWN OVER THE BACK OF A UNICORN, and felt like her kidney was on fire. Her head was full of blood from being slumped over, but when she tried to right herself discovered that her wrists and ankles were bound. She managed to raise her head slightly, and found herself staring straight at Kel’s butt. He was similarly tied and slung across the back of the second ’corn. He wasn’t moving, and Rachel was terrified that he might be dead. Memories of the massive blow from the unicorn’s hoof came back to her and she felt physically sick.

Voices were coming from behind her. ‘…don’t know and I don’t care. All that matters is that we have the Retriever and the Golden girl. Hopefully that will make up for us being late.’ It was Toby’s voice. Rachel’s head was pounding and she felt weak and tired. She must have lost a lot of blood from being impaled on that pig thing’s tusk. Every time her ride went over a bump she felt the wound break open fresh, and thick, warm blood oozed from it. She was in trouble.

She looked up at Kel again, and felt so sorry. It was all her fault that they were in this mess. If only she’d been quicker to react, she could have fought the pig and Kel wouldn’t have been forced to come to her rescue. Stupid stupid stupid. She would never forgive herself if something happened to him because of her. Some Hero she was turning out to be… She fought the urge to cry and vomit at the same time.

‘Can I see it?’ A different voice, higher pitched and weaselly. Possibly the guy that looked like a rat.

‘Sure. Just be careful,’ came the unseen reply. There was a snuffling noise, and then the unmistakable ding of her pocket watch. ‘Why does it keep doing that? It’s annoying me now. Pig-face. Go see if the girl’s conscious. I want to know what this Retriever thing does.’

Rachel let her head fall down again, pretending to be out cold, but had a feeling the act wouldn’t last long. She heard her unicorn neigh, and the grunting of Pig-face as he led it by the tether around to Toby and the rat.

‘Oh look, she’s sleeping,’ Toby said. ‘I would hate to wake her.’ Sarcasm. ‘Ratboy, do me a favor stick your claw in that hole in her back, would you? I think that might wake her up.’

‘I’M AWAKE!’ Rachel snapped her head up. ‘I’m awake. No need for any claws to go in any holes. And before you ask, I don’t know what that thing does. It was only given to me a couple of days ago. And as far as I know the guy who gave it to me didn’t know what it does either. It just dings sometimes.’

Toby frowned, letting the pocket watch spin back and forth on its chain in the late afternoon sun. ‘So you don’t, for example, know how it’s used to open portals then?’

Rachel was genuinely surprised. ‘It does that? Wow.’ Then she tried to rally. ‘I mean, yes, of course it does that. If you untie me I’ll show you how.’ She mentally kicked herself at how stupid she was being, but you try losing a couple of pints of blood and see how cunning you are.

Toby laughed. ‘Aw. How sweet, your little lies. Don’t worry, Rachel. We’ll camp tonight, and should have you at the castle by late tomorrow. You can explain to El
all
about how it works.’ He winked at Ratboy, who snickered, then winced in pain. He licked at the space where his tooth used to be and gave Rachel a look of pure hatred.

‘Smash it open,’ Pig-face grunted. ‘Wanna know how it works; smash it.’

‘Yesss… this is why you aren’t in charge, Pig-face. But do feel free to join in. How’s the Safeguarder, by the way? Not dead is he? I don’t care—we have the girl and the watch—but if he’s dead we can dump him, and I can ride the unicorn.’

‘Breathing,’ was all Pig-face replied, and Rachel took that to be a good sign.

***

‘Oh, no. No no no. Why aren’t they stopping? It’s getting
dark
. What if they don’t camp, and just keep going through the night? We might lose them!’ Ros was understandably nervous and fretting. Things couldn’t be going more wrong, and on his
test mission
of all times.

‘Calm down, you fraidy-dog.’ Assorted Colors was taking it a little better than his companion. ‘No one travels through the night here. You know that. I don’t care who they are. There are worse things than unicorns that come out at night. They’ll stop and light a fire soon enough.’

‘That’s easy for you to say. It’s not your license that’s at stake. And you saw what happened back there. Rachel got gored, and Kel might be dead for all we know! Did you see when that unicorn hit him?’

Assorted Colors rolled his eyes. Yes, he saw what happened. He’d been there too. He chewed on his lip thoughtfully. It
had
been a pretty nasty blow… But this was Altworld. He knew that Heroes’ and Safeguarders’ powers were greater in the Altworld. They were stronger and faster and much more resilient. Though unfortunately, so were the bad guys.

Ros stopped and sniffed at the air. ‘Smoke!’ he cried with relief. ‘They must have stopped!’ Since the fight in the clearing, Ros and AC had been tailing the kidnappers about half a mile behind them. Which was luckily downwind. They had been relying on Ros’s extraordinary inter-dimensional nose to track their quarry.

‘Good. Stop here,’ AC said, and slid down off the dog’s back.

‘What now?’ Ros asked, exasperated.

‘Time to get into character.’ AC briefly disappeared into the bushes before returning with a handful of leaves. He tore a strip of red cloth from what could loosely be described as his shirt, and tied it around his forehead, commando style. He scooped up some dirt from the ground and rubbed it in lines across his face. Lastly he tucked some of the leaves into his clothes for camouflage. He pulled out his prison shank, and when he spoke his voice was much deeper than before. ‘Let’s roll,’ he growled.

‘Oh for god’s sake,’ Ros sighed. WHY did he have to be paired up with this psychopath? ‘I really don’t think you need to worry about camouflage, AC. You’re eight inches tall. All you need to do is crouch down behind a leaf and you’ll be invisible. And just what exactly is your plan anyway?’

Assorted Colors stopped and straightened up, his voice returning to normal. He looked puzzled. ‘Oh,’ he said. ‘I hadn’t really thought about that.’

Ros rolled his eyes again. ‘Just get on. We’ll have a look at the camp and hopefully we can figure something out.’
Idiot
, he added under his breath, and they trotted off after their friends.

***

The next morning, a cat was walking through the forest, pulling a small red Radio Flyer cart behind him. Not
especially
unusual, except that the cat was walking on his hind legs, like a person. He was also wearing a three-piece suit. And a turtle was riding in the cart.

‘I say, Turtle,’ the cat began, stopping and turning to his companion.

‘No,’ the turtle cut him off. ‘I know what you’re going to say, and the answer’s “no”.’

The cat looked shocked, and the monocle he was wearing nearly fell out of his eye. ‘Now hold on old chap, that’s a bit rich. I dare say you have no idea what I was going to suggest.’ He spoke with an upper class English accent.

‘You were going to say we should stop for food.’

The cat looked scandalized again. ‘I was not! [He was] But since you mention it,’ he looked at his watch, ‘it
is
almost 11. It’s alright for you, getting pulled around in that cart, but all this fresh air and walking takes it out of a cat. I need to keep my strength up.’ He sat down cross-legged on the ground and pulled a cheeseburger and fries out the hip pockets of his jacket.

‘
Where
do you keep getting that stuff?’ the turtle asked, amazed. There didn’t seem to have been room for the food in the cat’s pockets, and this was the third meal he’d pulled out of them today. And it was steaming. ‘And keeping your strength up is fine, but I’m amazed you’re not dead. All you ever eat is junk food. Your cholesterol must be through the roof.’

McKitten wasn’t listening. He unwrapped his burger and poured the fries out of their red and gold cardboard sleeve onto the wrapper. ‘Want my pickle and tomato?’

Turtle sighed. ‘Yes.’ Might as well keep his strength up too. Tracking down fugitives wasn’t his idea of fun. He would much rather have been lunching on crisp iceberg lettuce at the club. Still, warm vegetables smeared with ketchup were better than nothing.

They weren’t long into their meal, when they heard a noise. It was a muffled sort of groaning, coming from just around the corner. The two lawyers stopped and looked at each other, mid-chew. ‘Better go and investigate, Turtle, what?’ the cat said, scooping the last of the fries into his mouth. Still chewing, with half a cheeseburger in one hand and the cart handle in the other, he went off to see about the disturbance. What he saw was surprising.

In a small copse, around the smoking remnants of a fire, three creatures were tied up and gagged. They were staring at Turtle and McKitten with wide imploring eyes. McKitten, still savoring the last of his burger, walked over to the most human looking one of the group and pulled his gag down. ‘Hello Toby, what? Looks like you’re in a bit of a pickle.’

Toby groaned. This was the
last
guy he wanted to see. AND it meant that El had sent him to track down the Hero party. Not what he needed. But he managed to put on a fake smile. ‘Hello, McKitten.’ He nodded to the turtle in the cart. ‘Turtle. What brings you fellows out this way?’

The cat sucked ketchup off each of his toes. ‘Well, as you might have heard, old boy, El is a little bit concerned with why you aren’t back at the castle yet.’ He looked around the campsite. ‘And where the Golden girl and the watch are. You haven’t seen them by chance, have you?’ Turtle was smirking in his cart.

‘Haha, yes, about that,’ Toby began, with forced cheerfulness, ‘had a bit of a mishap last night. We had the girl and her Safeguarder in custody, but it seems like they have a little help in the Altworld. Two others attacked us last night, and unfortunately all four of them escaped.’

‘Good lord,’ the cat said, sounding shocked and sympathetic. Toby had the feeling he was neither.

‘But they can’t have got far. So, if you’d be so good as to untie us, we can be on our way to recapturing them. Please?’

‘Dear, oh dear,’ Turtle said. ‘How simply
awful
for you. To be outwitted and overpowered by a 14 year old girl and a trainee Safeguarder. My my. I bet you’re simply itching to get out there and save some of your dignity.’

Toby’s cheeks flushed and he gritted his teeth. God, he hated this pair. But he had to remain civil if there was any chance of them freeing him. He forced a laugh. ‘Yes, well, as I said, they had help. Now, if you could untie us…’