How could she? No, she said.
Roddy smiled bitterly. Laura.
Chapter 21
NEW YEARS EVE
It was the last day of Freddys last sale and the shop had never been so crowded in its one hundred and one years. Full page adverts in the Echo every day, offering all sorts of enticing bargains, had brought in thousands of shoppers. There was hardly room to move between the counters, some of which were almost bare and had been for days. One of the most popular was Haberdashery in the basement, where women, mainly elderly, had been eagerly stocking up on embroidery silk and tapestry wool that were going for coppers. The last remaining skeins were now in a near impenetrable ravel that a couple of grey-haired customers were patiently trying to undo.
On the glittering, lavishly decorated ground floor, scarves were piled high in a vivid mountain of silk and wool, taffeta and filmy chiffon, like something out of an Arabian bazaar. Every now and then, someone would tug an end and find someone tugging the other. Thered been a few fights, not just over scarves
the shoe department had seen some heated arguments when one customer had found the right shoe, another the left, and neither was willing to give up their shoe.
The matter was usually settled by the toss of a coin. A strong scent of expensive perfume hung in the air as passers-by liberally sprayed themselves with the demonstration bottles. No one noticed a yellow kid glove that had lost its mate being kicked around the floor.
The stock room on the fifth floor had been cleared and the staff were amazed at what had been found in the dusty corners; cardboard boxes, forty, fifty, years old, containing flesh-pink lace-up corsets, thick flannel nightdresses, lisle stockings, knee-length, lock-knit knickers, long velvet evening gloves without fingers. There were clothes with a Utility sign, acquired during the war, a long time out of fashion, but perfectly wearable nowadays when hems could be any length. Indeed, Queenie had found a brown tweed coat that was almost identical to a Jean Patou model that had come out only a year ago. It had fitted Hester perfectly.
Ladies clothes had sold the fastest of all. Now the racks were almost empty and there was nothing left to put on them.
The bulk of the customers on the final day were women, on the prowl for cheap buys, or come for a last, nostalgic look around Freddys, the shop where they had bought their wedding dress and trousseau and from where the bridegroom had hired his morning suit and top hat. Later, theyd come for their childrens school uniforms and sports equipment; hockey sticks, cricket bats, tennis rackets, balls for every conceivable sort of game. The shop had played an important part in their lives.
A few people were collectors, interested in cards of pretty pearl buttons, stockings with flocked patterns on the heel, forties evening bags, all unearthed from the stockroom and still showing their original prices; 9d, 1/11˝d, 10/6d.
The younger customers were there for the first time, to take a look around the place that had once been a local landmark and was now about to close. Theyd never been before; it was too old-fashioned and way beyond their means. Not today, though. They found themselves snapping up all sorts of unusual bargains.
Only a few men were present, dragged there by their wives, and taken to the Mens Department, where lambswool pullovers and comfortable baggy underpants were being sold for next to nothing. The loose-fitting overcoats and check suits that had looked distinctly prewar had already gone, snapped up by younger men who considered them trendy. The floor now had a deserted air.
See what Ive got! Hester opened the familiar black and white striped bag with Freddys in gold and showed Mary the contents. Loads of stuff for Annie, really cute baby clothes wed never have been able to afford at the full price, three pairs of overalls and some Tshirts for Evan. Ive got stuff for Ned and some nighties for myself. Theyre in Queenies office, where Im about to dump this lot, theyre ever so heavy. Its an advantage, being able to leave your shopping with the owner.
It wont be an advantage for long. Excuse me a minute, Hes. Mary went to attend to a customer who wanted to buy a bright red handbag in soft, squashy leather extra staff had been taken on for the Sales and Mary had jumped at the chance.
You cant get coloured handbags for love nor money these days, the customer gushed. Theyre nearly always black. I havent seen a red one in ages. Same with shoes. She paid and rushed off to the shoe department to see if she could find shoes to match.
Me legs arent half aching, Mary complained when she returned. Weve been worked off our feet for days. We even came in Sunday to give the place a good tidy up. Todays the busiest yet. Still, theres not long left to go. Hows Annie?
Coming along, putting on weight, but only slowly. Neds looking after her and Evan. He managed to get home from work a bit early.
Well, she was a whole month premature, wasnt she? In reality, shes only five weeks old, not nine. Why didnt you call her Laura, like you said? she asked curiously. I didnt like to ask in front of Ned in case thered been an argument.
Oh, no, there was no argument, just that Queenie said Daddy was a bit upset when he heard, so we called her Annie instead. It was second on our list of favourite names.
Its not suprising your dad was upset. Half a mo. Mary went to attend to another customer. She was looking far more cheerful today, Hester thought. The month at Freddys had done her good. Things had been tough at home between her and Duncan since Flora had moved out. She ducked when a woman passed behind, half a dozen bulging bags held aloft, and she was nearly decapitated. She still felt a bit tired, what with the Caesarean and worry over Annie. Pushing her way through the crowded shop didnt help, but she wouldnt have missed this historic day for anything. She had to be home by four. Annie was on the bottle and the breast and, as Ned had pointed out, he could manage one, but wasnt equipped to manage the other.
Mary came back. Was it your dad who called the wedding off, or Queenie? Ive been dying to know.
I dont know either. They wont talk about it. Dads been dead miserable for weeks, so I suspect it was Queenie.
Queenie had already been for half a dozen excursions around the shop, giving a hand in places where the staff looked overwhelmed. Now she was back in her office, alone, with absolutely nothing to do; no letters to write, phone calls to make, catalogues to look at, buyers to see, no one to talk to most of the office staff were helping behind the counters. The only people busy were in the cash office; tills were being emptied every hour and the contents counted and taken to the bank. After the banks had closed, the money would go in the night safe. Business had been brisker than anyone had expected and she felt guilty, sitting behind the desk that used to be Theos, and finding nothing she could do.
As from midnight, Freddys would no longer belong to her, but to the developers whod made the first offer, which had turned out to be the highest. By this time next year, the building might have been demolished for a multi-storey car park or, if the Council insisted the original façade remain, it could be on its way to becoming flats.
She had vaguely thought of buying one of the flats, but had dismissed the idea straight away. It would be a sad place to live, full of too many memories, even if they were mainly happy ones. She had no idea exactly where she would live in Liverpool, but intended to spend a few months in Kythira before making up her mind. Eventually, she would return, because Liverpool was in her blood. And it was where her friends were; friends like Hester and Mary who had become more like family over the years.
Hester entered the room at that very moment. She looked weary. Ive come to leave this bag with the others. Ive had a marvellous time buying all this stuff, but I think Id better stop and have a coffee before I drop.
Ill come with you, Queenie said with alacrity. If the truth be known, I dont know what to do with myself.
Ned sent his novel to a publisher this morning, Hester said shyly. He finished it on Boxing Day. It took him nearly five years.
Wish him the best luck in the world from me. I hope it becomes a bestseller.
Had things gone differently, wed have stocked them in Freddys and he could have come and signed them.
The restaurant was crowded cream teas seemed very popular. They managed to find a table by the window. It was a miserable day outside. A dirty mist hung in the air and the sky was the colour of mud. Down below, on Hanover Street, people were hurrying by, laden with carrier bags, quite a few of them Freddys.
Youre practically giving things away, Hester remarked.
We had an offer for the goods left over, but it was so miserly, I decided Id sooner let everything go for next to nothing. At four oclock, prices will go down even more. Were closing at five.
Hester wrinkled her nose. Im afraid I cant wait till then. Four is when Annies due for a feed.
Ill wander around later, Queenie offered, pick you up some things, on the house, as it were. Ill enjoy that and Ill get some stuff for Mary too. This week, shes been a brick, like all the staff. Theyve worked like Trojans.
I understand youre giving them all a bonus.
They deserve it, Queenie said warmly. Everyones getting a basic hundred pounds on top of their wages, with an extra ten for each year theyve been here.
Youre being awfully generous, Queenie.
Queenies smile was a touch bitter. Who better to be generous with than the staff of Freddys? Ive no one of my own, have I?
A waitress arrived, she looked ninety if a day. Oh, hello, Miss Tate. I didnt realise you were here. Sorry about the wait, but were dead busy.
So I can see, Lily. Can we have two coffees, please? Would you like anything to eat, Hester?
Actually, I think Id prefer a cream tea, they look delicious. Itll be my last opportunity, wont it?
Coffee and a cream tea then, Lily. Shes been here since the year dot, Queenie said when Lily had departed. I wouldnt have minded a cream tea myself, but Ive had terrible indigestion lately. She patted her stomach. My tummy feels like a balloon and I apologise in advance if I burp. Ive kept meaning to see the doctor, but weve been so busy.
Actually, your tummy does look a bit swollen. But youll have time to see the doctor now, wont you?
Not that much time. Im flying to Kythira on Saturday.
But you will see a doctor before you go? Hester urged anxiously. I couldnt stand it if you were ill.
I will, I promise.
I wish you and Daddy were still getting married, Hester said sadly. That would have been Saturday too. I was looking forward to having you as my stepmother. She smiled wryly. Mary was terribly jealous. We used to fight over you like mad when we were little.
I remember I was very flattered.
Is there absolutely no chance of you and Daddy getting back together?
Queenie shrugged. Youll have to ask your dad that, not me.
But I thought it was you who jilted him! Hester gasped. Hes looked so unhappy since it happened.
Lily had returned. One cream tea, one coffee, she said. And good luck for the future, Miss Tate. Were not likely to speak to each other again.
Good luck to you, Lily. Queenie got to her feet and gave the elderly woman a kiss. Its been lovely knowing you. Im not sure if I can get through today without dissolving into buckets of tears, she said when she sat down again.
Ive lost count of the number of people Ive kissed so far.
About Daddy, Hester began.
If you have any questions, love, I told you, ask him.
Fifteen minutes later, after Hester had gone to see if there were any clothes left in her size, Queenie sipped the coffee, cold by now, and remembered the night Annie had been born. I cant go through with it, Queenie, Roddy had said wildly. I cant marry you, not after what I did to Laura. It would always be on my conscience and it wouldnt be fair on you.
Im the one who should be the judge of that, and I think youre being unreasonable with yourself as well as me. To put it bluntly, I also think youre being stupid, dead stupid, she emphasised. Its about time you pulled yourself together. If you hadnt found that damned book, none of this would have happened. She couldnt even remember its name.
He sighed tragically. Its nothing to do with the book. Ill never forget the cruel thing I said until my dying day.
We all do and say things we dont mean from time to time, she said, trying to keep the impatience out of her voice. Look at me! I slept with you less than amonth after Theo died. Not only that, I enjoyed it no end. How do you think that makes me feel? she asked indignantly. Awful! But Im sure Theo wouldnt have wanted me to mope for the rest of my life, and Im equally sure Laura, the old Laura, wouldnt have wanted you to do the same.
Its no good, darling. Its no good.
She stopped trying to reason with him. She had no intention of talking any man, not even Roddy Oliver, into getting married, and most definitely not a man still deeply involved with another woman a woman who was dead. If this was the decision hed come to, then the matter was closed unless one day he changed his mind, saw sense. She suspected he was having a long-delayed breakdown and it was best to leave him until he snapped out of it, something he could only do himself, without help from anyone.
That was two months ago and she still hadnt heard from him. Oh, but she missed him! She had visualised blissful years ahead with Roddy at her side. Her body ached for him at night, in bed, alone. During the day, every now and then, she would be overcome with a mixture of longing and rage; wanting him one minute, angry the next that he wasnt prepared to let her share his private torment, talk it through.
The restaurant was still crowded and she was taking up a table. She went downstairs to look for clothes for Evan and Annie. There were a few pretty frocks left, too big for Annie now, but would do for when she was older. She chose three, all different, some little frilly pants, a duffel coat for Evan, also too big, two Fair Isle jumpers, and an assortment of grey and white socks.