They kissed. Laura didnt just sound fed up, she looked it.
Whats the matter? Queenie asked.
Is it that obvious?
Yes. Why do you need someone to talk to when youve got Roddy? She could have bitten off her tongue the minute the question was out. Perhaps it was Roddy she wanted to talk about.
I cant talk to Roddy, because hes hardly ever there, nor Gus. Its all Theos fault, Laura said sourly. Ever since he got you that boat, Roddys been aching for one. Hes bought a day boat, halfway between a dinghy and a yacht. He and Gus virtually live on the damn thing, even sleep there. They disappear every Saturday morning, come home exhausted on Sunday night, have something to eat, then go straight to bed. Im fed up to the teeth with the pair of them.
Why dont you go with them?
Because Id hate it. Wouldnt you? You were seasick on that great big thing of yours. Not only that, I cant swim, and I cant think of a more boring way of spending my time.
Poor Laura! Queenie reached for her hand, just as the waitress came for their order.
After theyd ordered and the waitress had gone, Laura continued to complain. It wouldnt be so bad if Hester were here, but shes in California and, if her letters are anything to go by, having a wonderful time. The day after tomorrow, shell be twenty-one. If everything had gone the way it should have, she would be marrying Duncan. Now shes not even coming home and therell be no party, no wedding. Her eyes narrowed. Do you know if she and Steven Vandos are having an affair?
I dont know, no. Ive wondered meself.
Oh, you must think Im a terrible old misery, Laura cried. Im just feeling unusually down, thats all. It didnt help when Vera told me about Marys party last Saturday. It sounded a very lively affair. Did you go?
Yes, Theo went too. He loves Vera and the Monaghan lads because theyre so down to earth and uncomplicated. His family are the very opposite.
And was it as lively as Vera said?
Have you ever known a party at the Monaghans that wasnt?
No, Laura said gloomily. She invited us, but I said no. I hope she wasnt hurt, but I couldnt stand the thought of seeing Mary and Duncan together, and Id have to have bought the horrible girl a present. Is the baby still as gorgeous?
Queenie sighed wistfully. Shes absolutely beautiful.
How do Mary and Duncan get along? Oh, please tell me they cant stand each other. The thought that everythings worked out all right for them, while Hester, the innocent party, is living halfway across the world, just doesnt seem fair.
I didnt see much of them, Queenie said evasively. Mary and Duncan had danced quite closely together at the party.
Oh, come on, Queenie. You must have noticed something.
They seemed to be getting along OK. Perhaps theyre doing their best for Floras sake.
That makes sense not that I can imagine Mary doing anything sensible.
Shes changed, Laura. She looked at the bitter eyes behind the severe glasses.
Circumstances can change us all. When Hester and I were in Paris, she said slowly, she told me she was determined to put everything behind her, get on with her life. She wasnt prepared to let Duncan spoil it. And thats what shes done. I doubt very much if she wants him and Mary to be unhappy. I reckon shell be glad theyre getting on.
Laura shook her head impatiently. Is there a point to all this?
It seems to me that youve taken what happened much harder than Hester. She lost her fiancé, yet all you lost was a rather weak son-in-law.
I cant begin to explain how it made me feel, Laura cried tragically. And it had an effect on Roddy and me. Weve been very distant with each other since.
Are you sure its not you being distant with him? Perhaps thats why he goes sailing every weekend. She smiled, as if she were making a joke, though suspected this was the truth.
The soup arrived. During the meal, they talked about more mundane things.
Queenie mentioned they were expecting some lovely clothes in for autumn. Soft jersey frocks and costumes in rich, muted colours. Theyd look smashing on you.
Is that a hint? I know I look a frump, but I cant be bothered with clothes these days.
You used to love sewing.
I dont any more.
Shall we join something? Queenie suggested over coffee. A tennis club, maybe?
Ive always wanted to learn to play tennis. We could go evenings and on Sunday afternoons.
Laura laughed. Queenie, dear, I know darn well Sunday is the only day you and Theo have together. Dont pander to me. Ill sort this out my own way. All I wanted was a good moan.
Do you feel better for the moan?
I havent finished yet. Ive kept the worst till last. Im pregnant, she said in a hard voice. Thirty-seven and pregnant. Ive just missed my second period.
Next year, I was due to be promoted to assistant head, but by then Ill have a baby. Except if I get rid of it. What do you think, Queenie?
She cant have been all that distant with Roddy, Queenie thought as she stirred her coffee, hearing the spoon scrape against the bottom of the cup. She stirred it the other way and it made a slightly different sound. First Mary, now Laura.
How could God be so unfair? Why had these women, who didnt want a baby, conceived, when she, who wanted one more than anything on earth, had failed after almost a year of trying? Theo had left it entirely up to her. He didnt know shed stopped using her cap.
I could never get rid of a baby, she said slowly. Its a decision only you can take. Does Roddy know? What does he think?
Roddy doesnt know, Laura said brusquely. Ive no idea what hed think ifhe did. Anyway, I only care about me. All Ive got left is my career, school. My family have deserted me.
Arent you exaggerating a bit? For the first time since shed known her, Laura was getting on her nerves. Hester wont stay away for ever, and Roddy and Gus cant go sailing in the winter it might even be just a five-minute wonder and theyll get fed up with it soon.
No, they wont. When winter comes, theyll be out painting the damn thing, and Hester mightnt be home for years. She finished the coffee with a flamboyant gesture, throwing back her head until the muscles showed in her neck, swallowing it in a single gulp. Actually, Queenie, youre beginning to irritate me. All youve done is criticise since we met. I was expecting sympathy, not a lecture.
Im afraid I cant feel sympathy for someone who wants to get rid of a baby.
I was considering it. I hadnt made up my mind.
It amounts to the same thing.
Laura picked up her bag and got to her feet. Ill pay on the way out. Thanks for the company, Queenie, though I cant say Ive enjoyed it.
Queenie felt sick as she watched her friend walk away. Ill ring in a few days, see how you are, she called.
Id prefer it if you didnt bother, Laura called back.
Chapter 16
People were starting to leave, much to Hesters relief. It hadnt been a very enjoyable party. The apartment was too small for so many guests, particularly on such a hot night. The noise was deafening. Shed pretended to be invisible, drifting from the edge of one crowd to another, hoping no one would notice and speak to her because she couldnt hear a word being said. She didnt even know whose party it was, or why it was being held not that in Hollywood anyone needed a reason. Though she was glad shed come. Anything was better than spending the night in her hotel room, alone. She was equally glad when Steven Vandos approached and asked if shed like to go. It was nearly midnight and she could go to bed and hopefully sleep.
Havent you clicked with a girl? she asked. Steven had loads of friends. He was asked to parties two or three times a week and nearly always took her with him, though she insisted on going as just another friend, not as a couple. Id feel awful if I stopped you from meeting a woman, shed told him. Once they had arrived, she insisted he ignore her. On the times he did meet someone, Hester would go back to the hotel by herself, but Steven always made sure she was safely in a taxi before he left.
Clicked? He laughed. Is that a Liverpool expression?
Im not sure. Mary used to say copped off copped off with some feller.
She could mention Marys name now without feeling any emotion at all.
Back home, I didnt mix with the common people like you. Ive never heard of either expression. He sighed and looked mournful. I didnt click with a soul, which means we can have coffee together in Daves.
They strolled arm in arm along La Cienego Boulevard, still brightly lit and full of people at such a late hour Los Angeles was a city that never slept. She and Steven got on well, strangers in a strange land, as hed said once. Hed been there over a year, having had a small part in a film, and then a slightly bigger one. Now hed landed a part big enough to have his name on the screen. Itll probably be at the very bottom of the cast list, but I dont care. Im gradually getting there.
Hester wasnt surprised. He was thirty-one and terribly attractive, with a languorous charm and old-fashioned manners, rare in such a crazy, hectic place, where people were usually too busy or too rude to say please or thank you.
Women loved him, enamoured by his courtesy, his lovely, deep voice, his perfect diction. He was the epitome of an English gentleman.
Be careful with Steven, Queenie had warned before she left England. When we first met, he flirted like mad, kept asking me out, but wasnt the least bothered when I turned him down. He makes women feel very special, as if theyre the only one in the world for him, but inside hes very shallow. I hasten to say hes also very nice, incredibly nice, in fact. I like him very much.
So did Hester. Steven hadnt said anything that could be remotely considered flirtatious. Instead, hed looked after her, got her a room in his hotel, the Wellington, not far from the Dodgers stadium. It was a nice hotel and a bit expensive, but she lived in one of the small rooms on the top floor that were let at a reduced rate, which she could just about afford out of her wages. Hed also found her a job as a typist with an agent, Elfreda Hicks, who was probably the most unscrupulous, untrustworthy and cynical person whod ever lived. But Hester didnt mind. The job was fascinating. She mostly typed contracts for actors for whom Elfreda had found parts in films, taking a huge cut of the fee for herself.
For all its faults, and there were many, Hester loved Hollywood. There was so much to do, so many films to see, so many parties to go to, even if some were tedious, like tonights. Shed been to Manns Chinese Theatre where there were hand and footprints of famous stars, the Hollywood History Museum, Sunset Strip, which was a bit tawdry, and loads of other famous places. It left her with little time to think, to dwell on things like Duncans betrayal. It was funny, but once the baby, Flora, had arrived, it seemed as if a final line had been drawn, and she could actually think of him and Mary without wanting to weep until there was no tomorrow. But the betrayal! She would never get over that.
She would never trust a man again.
They had reached Daves, a diner only a few doors along from the Wellington.
Daves never closed. When she first came, in the middle of the night, when she couldnt sleep, Hester had often gone there for a malted milk. The night waitress, Jo, was very friendly, as well as breathtakingly pretty. Jo wanted to become a film star, but had had no luck so far there were an awful lot of breathtakingly pretty girls around who wanted the same thing. She worked nights, so she could be free during the day to attend auditions. Virtually every person Hester met wanted to be a film star, a screen writer, a director anything to do with the movies. She wondered if she was the only person who had no ambition to be anything except happy. And, like Steven, she was gradually getting there.
Coffee? Steven asked when they went into the half-full diner. Jo waved to them from behind the counter and came to take their order.
No, it keeps me awake. Id like a malt, please.
Have you two been somewhere exciting? Jo enquired.
Some guys just had a script accepted by Warner and his pals threw a party to celebrate.
Is that what it was for? Hester exclaimed. If Id known, Id have congratulated him.
I didnt know until I was leaving, by which time the guy had left himself.
Black coffee and a malt, please, Jo.
Coming up in just a minute. She left.
I had a phone call from Queenie today. Steven lit his hundredth cigarette of the day. It was to tell me that next Monday youll be twenty-one. Were you just going to let the most significant birthday of your life pass without telling a soul?
Yes, Hester conceded. It was the day I was going to marry Duncan and Id sooner not be reminded.
What tosh! Duncan sounds a prick. Why spoil your birthday on account of him?
Thanks, Jo. Sit down, join us. Im just giving Hester a severe telling off.
I dont like intruding on a private conversation, Jo said, sitting down all the same.
This young ladys twenty-one next week and she doesnt want a party.
Everyone has a party on their twenty-first.
Tell her that.
They do, you know, hon, Jo said earnestly. In Hollywood, anyways. Itd be a sin not to.
A mortal sin, Steven added. What were you going to do, sit in your room and sulk?
Why should she want to sulk?
Because she expected to be doing something else on her birthday, like getting married. Now shes not, and shes going to sulk instead.
I never said anything about sulking!
What were you going to do then?
I dont know, Hester said sulkily. Shed had no intention of staying in, but hadnt made up her mind where to go; lose herself in a movie maybe, though not a romantic one.
OK then, a party it is. But where? Steven raised his perfect eyebrows. Not the Wellington, the manager would go crazy.