Providence (17 page)

“Sure,” he replied, shooting a
questioning glance at Jake.

Jake shrugged, watching Kate lead
the mare to the barn.

Kate turned the mare into an
empty paddock, removed the halter and leaned on the rail to watch as she ran
the fence line for a moment before dropping her head to graze on the sparse
grass. Watching the graceful beauty of the mare, her mind turned to the man who
had given her the horse. She wanted to tell Jake about Tochoway, but she didn’t
know how. Her feelings for him were confused. She was very attracted to him,
but he was from such a different world, though his actions and words showed him
to be a Godly man, more so than many “Christian men” she could think of.

Lord, protect him and keep him.
Let your spirit fill his soul, and let his feet continue to walk in Your ways.
She prayed silently.

“Beautiful animal.” Luke said
walking up behind her.

“Isn’t she?”

 They watched the mare trot
toward the fence adjacent to the pasture where the remuda grazed quietly in the
gathering dusk. Her flowing tail flagged over her back, neck proudly arched,
she cantered along the fence, neighing to the others. Several mares and
geldings from the herd lifted their heads, nostrils flaring, as they eyed the
newcomer.

“How soon before you turn her
out?”

“I’ll give them a few days to get
acquainted over the fence first. And I want to see if we can get her in foal to
Raven. I think they’d make an outstanding cross.” Kate replied, voicing her
thoughts aloud.

“Good idea.”

“I think Nana’s probably going to
be livid if we don’t get in to dinner soon.” Kate sighed, not wanting to leave
the peaceful sight.

“I believe you’re right. Shall
we?” He asked holding out his arm for her.

She hesitated a moment before
reaching up and tucking her hand into his secure grasp.

***

After the dinner dishes were
cleared away, Jo was given the task of distributing the gifts from Martha. As each
was opened and exclaimed over, the air of tension that had been present since
their return began to ease. There was a new wild rag for Jon, a beautiful blue
silk neckerchief just like all good cowboys wore. He put it on with pride, and
Luke helped him to tie it just so.  For Jake there was a new Farmer’s
Almanac, and for Nana, a crisp new apron with bib and pockets. Lastly, Jo
pulled out a small wrapped package for Luke.

“Me?” Luke exclaimed taking the
package.

“Why not?” Jo asked ingenuously,
“You’re a part of the family now, aren’t you?”

The innocent remark struck him
like a blow.
A part of the family?
No, anything but that.

“Well, Jo, don’t forget, I’m just
the hired hand around here. I’ll be moving on once the steers are sent to market.”
Luke said stiffly, the weight of the gift heavy in his hands.

The stricken look on Jo’s face
tore at his heart. Better that she realize now, though, than become too
attached. Silence filled the room. The tick of the old grandfather clock in the
corner loud in his ears.

“What did Martha send for you?”
Kate asked, breaking the awkward moment.

Opening the colorful paper
revealed a leather-bound volume. The Tragedy of Pudd'n Head Wilson by Mark
Twain, was emblazoned across the spine. “Well, I haven’t read this one, though
I do like Twain.” he said attempting a cheerful tone, sorry for the grief he
had caused.

“Do you like to read?” Kate
inquired.

 “It passes the time,” Luke
shrugged.

“Well, I have a small collection
in the living room you’re more than welcome to browse through.”

“Thanks.”

The atmosphere was still grim
despite their best efforts to lighten the mood. Jo approached her mother and
climbed up into her lap, tired after the long day and saddened by Luke’s
outburst.

“Come on, punkin, I think it’s
time you were in bed.” Kate placed a kiss on the sleepy girl’s soft hair as the
others prepared to leave. “Jake, would you mind waiting? I want to talk to
you.”

“Sure. Jon, you walk Nana home.”

“Yes, sir.” Jon said, helping
Nana with her shawl and opening the door for her.

Luke watched Kate accompany Jo to
her loft, and listened to the quiet murmurings of prayers. He stared blankly
into the dying embers of the fireplace.

“You really planning to move on
this fall?” Jake asked.

“Well, that was the agreement.”

“I don’t expect Kate would mind
an extension of that agreement, seeing as how you seem to be working out all
right.”

“I don’t know.”

“Think about it.”

 “I’ll see you in the
morning, Jake.” Luke grabbed his hat from the peg by the door, and strode out into
the clear night air. The clouds had departed with the passing of the storm and
the stars shone brightly against the deep black of the heavens. His heart raged
within him. Why had he done that? It was one thing to separate himself from his
growing feelings for this family, but it was something else entirely to crush
the spirit of a child.

Of course Kate wouldn’t want him
to stay on, not after that little episode tonight. He’d be surprised if she
didn’t ask him to leave in the morning. He reached the bunkhouse, slamming the
door as he entered. Seeing the Bible laying among the other books on the small
shelf, he grabbed it and threw it against the wall. Just another example of
God’s work in his life. Give him a taste of something tangible and sweet, then yank
it away again. Anger coursed through his body. Unable to quell the storm
within, he burst through the door into the night. The house glowed from within
with the warm inviting light of a spirit filled home. Tearing his eyes away
from the sight, he strode off into the dark, breathing heavily, tight bands of
pain constricting his chest, not knowing or caring where his path would lead.

***

Jake sat staring into the dying
fire as Kate returned from tucking Jo in for the night. The glow illuminated
his tired features, and Kate was struck by how much he had aged in the months
since Will’s death. Had she been so caught up in her own grief and anxieties
that she had failed to notice the effect on others?

“Would you like another cup of
coffee, Jake?” Kate asked, startling him from his thoughts.

“Sure, sounds like just the
thing,” he replied, joining her at the kitchen table.

“You look tired, is everything
all right?”

“Oh, yeah, just the spring
planting and all, keeps me pretty busy, probably not getting as much sleep as I
should, you know.”

Kate took a long sip of the black
coffee, mulling over what it was she wanted to say.

“You didn’t ask me to stay to
tell me I look tired. What’s eating at you, Kate?” Jake asked laying a hand on
hers.

Sighing, she stood and walked
over to her desk. Withdrawing her journal from the bottom drawer, she opened it
to the last entry, and took out a small scrap of paper with charred edges.
Silently she handed it to him.

“What’s this?” Jake asked
studying the paper.

“We found it last week, where the
fence had been cut.”

“Yeah, you said y’all had scared
off some rustlers.”

“That’s just it, I’m not sure now
that it was rustlers.”

Jake peered at her intently, “You
want to tell me what this is all about?”

 In a rush of words, Kate
told him Martha’s story. “So I don’t know what to think! If Little Dick West is
working for Matt Johnson, then is that receipt his? And if so, is Matt trying
to run me off this place? But why would he have asked me to marry him, if he’s
going to try to strong arm me off of here?”

“Whoa there, slow down a minute.”
Jake said, grabbing her hand and steadying her. “First, you don’t even know if
this paper has anything to do with that man. It’s a very common name, and could
be pure coincidence.”

“Don’t you think I’ve told myself
that a thousand times?”

Jake nodded. “You know how I feel
about Johnson. If anyone’s gonna think the worst, it’d be me.”

“I know.” Kate answered quietly.

“But I can’t convict a man based
on this alone.” Jake paused head bent in thought. “How seriously are you
entertaining his proposal?” he finally asked in a low voice.

“Oh, Jake, I’m not, not at all!”
she cried.

Kate could see relief flood
Jake’s features. In a matter of moments, it seemed as though he had shed ten years
of grief. “Oh, Jake, I’m so sorry to have caused you so much pain. I just
didn’t know what to do. For an instant that day in Fallis, it all seemed so
easy, just marry the man, and have done with it, but you know I could never do
that! I realize now that I could never let this place fall into his hands.”

“You don’t know how glad I am to
hear you say that.”

“I think I have some idea!” She
laughed.

 The tension between them
melted slowly as they talked far into the night about plans for the branding.
Jake related the news of the calf lost to predation, and the fact that Luke
planned to carry his rifle from now on.

“Do you think it was wolves,
Jake? We haven’t had any sign of them for so long now.”

“Can’t rightly say, could be
wolves, could be stray dogs gone feral. Smoke was worryin’ at the door t’other
night, and I thought I heard something prowling.”

“What about a cougar?”

“Possible, but they’re pretty
scarce ‘round these parts, too.”

“Well, whatever it is, we’d
better get it soon, before it gets to liking the meals around here,” Kate said
grimly.

“We’ll put a stop to it,” Jake
agreed. “Do you want to tell me about that new mare you dragged home?” he asked
with a familiar twinkle back in his eye.

Kate smiled shyly, “A gift from
Nocona’s father. Seems the boy is going to be just fine, and his father is well
pleased.”

“Delivered by Tochoway?”

“Yes.”

 “You know, I used to trade
throughout the Territory. The natives here have very funny ideas when it comes
to paying a debt of honor, especially to a white, and a woman at that.” He
paused a moment searching for the right words. “I like Tochoway, he seems a
decent man, but be careful, Kate, you just never know with a Comanche.”

Kate’s eyes sparked with an indignant
rage. “Jake Insley! I cannot believe that you, of all people, would speak like
that! Tochoway is no different than you or Luke or .... or...” she sputtered
with anger.

“I didn’t mean it like that, it’s
just that...”

“To think that a Christian would
condemn his fellow man just on the basis of his birth, why it absolutely makes
me ill!” Kate continued her tirade. “Maybe one of the problems with this whole
Territory is that us good, upstanding Christian settlers keep an entire race of
people locked on reservations and quell any spirit they have with our
prejudices. Did you know that he could be shot on sight and the killer would be
upheld by the law? Do you realize that he risks his very life every time he
sets foot off of the reservation? And you dare to say that they have a funny
idea of how to pay a debt? He owes me no debt and yet he risks his very life to
show me the kind of Christian love that no white man has ever shown him!”

Jake hung his head feeling the
sting of her chastisement.

 Kate’s features softened as
she approached the man she thought of as a father. Kneeling before him, she
took his rough work worn hand in hers. “Jake, I know what Nana went through,
the horror of seeing her parents killed by Indians. But the men that attacked
her family were acting as individuals. They do not represent Indians as a whole
anymore than the white men who have perpetrated such atrocities on the Indian
tribes represent you and me.” She paused for a moment searching his face,
wanting desperately for him to see Tochoway as a man, not some representative
of a people. “God’s love extends to all of His creation, not just certain
select groups. Should we do any less?”

Jake lifted his head to meet her
steady gaze. He could see the tears of anguish brimming in her eyes. “Kate, you
might as well be my own daughter, the way I feel about you. I know in my heart
you’re right, but I can’t help remembering the past, and thinking they’re
different. They have beliefs and customs that....” He shook his head wearily,
at a loss for words. “I worry about you, is that so wrong?”

“No, Jake, of course it’s not
wrong,” Kate sighed.

***

Luke sat on a small outcrop of
rock nearly half a mile from the main house. The dark night enveloped him like
a shroud. He had stumbled several times, and hit his knee against a fallen
trunk hard enough to make him cry out in pain. The throbbing sensation coursing
through his knee began to move inexorably down his leg, and he knew that he
would be in agony by morning.

 Sitting quietly, he began
to hear the myriad sounds that make up the songs of night. Crickets chirruped
in chorus, joined by the rasping of cicadas among the trees. Frogs boomed and
croaked near the pond in the pasture below. A cow lowed softly in the distance.
Night birds sang their gentle melodies, lulling him into a state of watchful
rest.