Proven Guilty Boys in Blue 05 - (7 page)

Shawn’s nerves were shot. Things had been too quiet since the night James had come home with a shiner and tried to kiss him. To this point, the fault of anything involving intimacy had been left at Shawn’s feet. It was only reasonable to assume the bender would be his fault too.

Now that James was finally talking, Shawn was almost relieved to be ending the tiptoe on eggshells. “Thursday night. I’m ready to hear about what an asshole I am.”
James’ brow furrowed. “You aren’t an asshole.
I’m
the asshole.”
Shawn lifted his brows. “You are? This I’ve got to hear.”
“Let’s talk in the living room. I don’t like the idea of you being around sharp objects when you’re mad at me,” James told him.
“Right. Like I’d have a shot at hurting you. You’re twice my size, at least.”
James got up and walked the short distance to the open living room, then sat on the couch. Shawn followed. He’d meant to take the chair nearest his room-mate, but James indicated the seat next to him, so he sat on the couch too.
“I got really drunk,” James began.
“Yep. I noticed that.”
“I’m not going to act like I don’t remember things I said.”
“So you remember all of it?” Shawn asked.
“I remember. I’m not going to spill my guts on what I was thinking. I don’t see the point in it, but I owe you an explanation.”
“I have no idea where this is going. Just say what you have to say,” Shawn told him. He couldn’t gauge if James was looking for encouragement, a pat on the back for being honest, or if he intended to tell Shawn to get lost. He braced himself.
James leaned on his knees, weaving his fingers together. As though he were arguing with himself internally, his shoulder lifted in a half-shrug. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I want you to stay.”
“You said as much. You told me not to break the lease,” Shawn reminded him. James shot him a look of annoyance. “Stay because I asked you to, okay?”
“Are you going to keep being a dick about my sexuality?” Shawn challenged. “Because I can pretty much move anywhere and get that.”
“Then I’ll arrest them for harassment.”
Shawn’s eyes narrowed as he tried to read between the lines. “Are you saying you’d come to my rescue?”
“No one’s allowed to pick on you, but me,” he said by way of answer.
“How charming.”
James’ lips twisted into a frown. “Just stay.”
“I’ll stay.”
“Good,” James announced, standing.
“Is that it?” he asked incredulously. “All the work up was to make sure I didn’t break my lease?”
James shifted from foot to foot. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Not really. The rest is a bunch of apologies for being a dick and saying that I don’t think being gay is such a bad thing anymore.”
“How noble of you.” Shawn stood too. “Generally speaking, apologies are better received when actually
given
.”
A smile quirked into play on James’ handsome face. The dimple peeked out and Shawn thought it was impossibly unfair to use it as a weapon against him.
“I’m sorry,” James elaborated, as though it had come at great cost to him and after the end of a long tedious explanation.
Shawn shook his head affectionately. “Forgiven. Again.”
“Thanks.”
Shawn made to move past him.
James caught his arm. “There’s more.”
Shawn resumed his stance. “Okay, shoot.”
“I’m interested.”
Now he was genuinely confused. “In what?”
“You know.”
Shawn tried to think about any conversation they’d had where that answer made sense. “In having a room-mate for another six months?”
“In you.” James added another shrug.
“Oh.” Weird. But then James wasn’t the usual kind of guy. Maybe big oafs had a short circuit. “What do you want to know about me? I’m an open book.”
“What are you talking about? I’ve lived with you for most of a month. I think I know you.” He added sheepishly, “Plus, I did a background check and talked to Tom.”
“Okay, now I’m
really
confused.”
“Let me clear it up then.” James grabbed the front of Shawn’s shirt in both fists and dragged him forward until he hit James’ chest.
James tucked his chin and kissed Shawn square on the lips.
Stunned and still a bit confused, Shawn hung on as the firm kiss became smouldering and seductive. The rougher man took on a gentler approach, nibbling at his lips and angling until Shawn’s knees turned to jelly.
Shawn’s lips felt like they were on fire beneath the unceasing onslaught of James’ unexpected attention. Arousal raged hot and ready inside Shawn, and he wanted nothing more than to drag the other man to the couch with him, feel his hard body stretched out on top of his own.
A memory of James practically spitting the word
gay
pushed to the forefront of his mind. Shawn grunted. He shoved James’ shoulders. James’ eyes sparkled with lust, and Shawn took a second to appreciate the swell of desire he saw there, before he opened his mouth to snap at his room-mate for mocking him.
Yet James pushed through Shawn’s strength and kissed him again. He took without apology. Shawn’s mind swirled. His argument vanished as he gave in to the kiss. James plundered Shawn’s senses, stripping them of protest. His tongue swept inside.
The unexpectedness of it was what finally shook some sense into Shawn. He shoved harder, this time successfully breaking them apart. “What the fuck, James?”
“What’s wrong?” James asked.
“I know you don’t pity me. But I’m also not stupid enough to think that you coincidentally converted.” Shawn gave him a final shove and stepped away from him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Fuck you for that, James. Fuck you.”
His voice shook and he hated that it had, because he knew James could see the moisture gathered in his eyes. Pain slammed his chest as he realised how much he wanted James to like him, and to be offered that moment even briefly had broken through his guard.
Damn him
!
“I want you,” James snapped under the chastisement. A dull flush crept up his neck. “I thought maybe you’d want me back.”
James went resolutely to the stairs. It took Shawn another moment to follow. Anger made him go. Anger insisted he make sure James never tried that again, because Shawn would find a way to beat the shit out of him if he pulled another tease.
The door was closing as Shawn hit the landing, flattened his hand on the door and slammed it against the wall.
James whirled. “I get it. You don’t want me. Now leave my room.”
“No, you don’t get it. You don’t get to kiss me. You don’t get to come on to me and say things like ‘I want you’, when you aren’t and never will be interested in me. You don’t get to fuck with my mind like that. We call that cock-teasing. I’m sure you’ve heard it before,” Shawn barked.
“Shawn!” James yelled over him. “Shut up!”
Shawn clamped his mouth closed. He fumed silently as every angry thought and pissed-off thing he could say slammed around in his mouth, fighting to get out.
“You’re in my room,” James said, stalking over to him. “I’ve got a rock-hard dick with your name all over it, and you’re in my room shouting at me. Do you have any idea what a fucking turn-on you are?”
It was as though James had spoken in a foreign language. The words were in the air, but they didn’t make sense. James’ neck cords were flexed. His fists opened and closed at his sides. His eyes were hot, angry, and the rest of him looked ready to pounce.
“Are you high?” Shawn asked suddenly, his voice lifting an octave as he reached for the only conclusion that
did
make sense to him.
“I’m not good at saying how I feel. I’m good at doing. If you don’t leave this room, I’m going to show you exactly how I feel about you and it might be a little clumsy. I’ve never fucked a man before. In about ten seconds, that’s all going to change.”
Shawn paled. He backed up a step as James continued to stalk him.
“So when you said you were interested…” Shawn trailed off.
“I meant I’m interested in wearing a Shawn-suit. Yeah,” James bit out.
“You aren’t gay.” He tossed out the one line of reasoning James had used over and over again, even though Shawn suspected he was at the very least bi-curious. Now it seemed he was being asked to figure it out on the fly, before he had James’ dick in his ass.
Oh, God, yes
!
“I was wrong. Actually, I knew I was wrong, I just didn’t like the truth very much.”
He remembered the man beautifully naked, as the reality became more and more possible. His eyes widened with alarm. His back pressed the door frame. James loomed over him.
“You’re a fucking angel. I can’t get you out of my head, so you’ll have to forgive me if I’m a little pissy about it. I don’t like feeling out of control,” James rasped.
He lifted a hand and tentatively stroked Shawn’s cheek with the backs of his fingers. That act, more than the others, spoke volumes. All the little phrases James had been trying to say flooded back—
I want you. I’m interested.
Shawn understood them, yet accepting felt a little way off.
“When did you come to this realisation?” Shawn said, distracted by the beefy hand sliding around his waist.
“Thursday. So I got drunk.”
“I see.”
“I didn’t like the answer I got when I stopped fighting the question.”
“About being gay?” Shawn asked.
James pressed his body to Shawn’s. Shawn nearly forgot his own name as the thick cock pushed against his belly.
“Yeah.”
“So you’re gay. You know that doesn’t make us an automatic couple just because I am, right?”
James pressed soft kisses to Shawn’s jaw and along the side of his neck. “I know. I like you.”
“I feel that.”
James rocked his hips. “I’m new at it, but I know this feels good.”
“Then we might want to go to my room, where the lube is. Otherwise, I’m going to hurt.”
James lifted his head. “We need that?”
“You really
are
new at this.” Shawn could see the uncertainty in his room-mate’s eyes. There was no question that James wanted to fuck him, but did he want everything that went with it? It was almost too good to be true.
“James, go sit down. I’m not having sex with you until I know where you’re coming from.”
James grunted in annoyance. He pulled off his shirt and stepped out of his pants and underwear, completely disrobing on his way to the bed. Then he sat, legs spread, cock pointing to the ceiling.
“God,” Shawn choked as he looked at its weeping tip. All that, and it was for
him
. Shawn stayed where he was. He needed to think rationally and James made it next to impossible.
“I told you Thursday I couldn’t sleep with Jenny. I told you why.”
“I know.”
“You kissed me in the precinct and said I was in denial.”
“I know,” Shawn murmured. “But do
you
know you’re gay or are you just trying it out?”
“I like a specific kind of guy, it turns out. I thought every man went through some cross-over interest. I knew not every man jacked off thinking about other men.”
“So you knew?”
“I didn’t want to,” James agreed. “It’s still unsettling, but I know what I am. I know I want you.”
“I thought you hated me.”
“Get naked. I want to see you,” James demanded.
Shawn lifted a brow. He removed his shirt. He noticed James squirm as he unbuttoned his pants and slipped them off. Nerves? Shawn supposed knowing you were gay and acting on it could challenge a guy like James. When Shawn was naked, he turned a slow circle.
“Take a good look, James. This is what you’re asking for.”
He nodded mutely.
“Are you sure?”
James’ gaze met his. “Terrified.”
Shawn couldn’t help his smile. At least he knew the guy was being honest. “We don’t have to jump right in to sex. Have you touched another man?”
“No.”
“Stay right there.” Shawn went to his room and found the bottle of lube he kept. He searched out and found some condoms, just in case. When he returned to James’ room, he walked around the bed to the other side. He climbed up and stretched out in the middle. James had watched his progress.
“Go ahead. Look. Touch. I know I’m going to like it, but you need to know what you’re asking for.”

Shawn lay before him like a buffet of sex. James didn’t know what to touch first, what to look at, so he stared. Like the night he’d watched his room-mate sleep, his gaze travelled over his slim, firm chest to the gentle sloped basin of softer skin between his hips. Then lower.

Shawn’s cock lifted, long and delicate. It was pale, like the rest of him, topped with a dusky raspberry head. All the veins that James had seemed more polished on the other man. His balls were hairless. It fascinated him.

James looked into his clear blue eyes. They trusted him, knew what he was going to do and invited him to do it anyway. With a shaking hand, James placed his hand on Shawn’s chest. He felt the swift beat of the other man’s heart tattoo against his palm.

Being given the permission to touch nearly overwhelmed him. He’d existed in a state of hate for himself and for others like him. He’d practised it so well, he’d nearly fooled himself. Yet Shawn encouraged him to do all the things he’d only dreamt of doing before.

He stroked, almost shyly, then with more boldness when Shawn made quiet sounds that indicated he liked it.
James didn’t realise he’d been holding his breath until the sound rushed out of him. He wanted to touch Shawn’s cock. He wanted it as badly as he wanted to taste him, but never having held another man’s dick in his hands, he wasn’t quite sure what the protocol was.
As though sensing the problem, Shawn moved James’ hand to take the cock. Instinctively, James’ fingers closed on it. Smooth heated steel filled his palm. It was the same as his own, yet different. He thumbed the rim, watching it bump back and forth against the pad. James liked that and given the quickened pace of his breathing, so did Shawn.
“Is that good?” James asked.
“Very good.”
“I like that too.”
“Touch the hole,” Shawn instructed.
James did. He’d never particularly cared for play there, but Shawn groaned when James rubbed over it firmly. Testing the water, James cupped the bare balls he’d been fascinated by. Shawn’s legs parted wider for him.
“I want to taste you,” James confessed.
Shawn propped himself up on his elbows. “I’m not going to stop you.”
James shifted his position, lowering himself between Shawn’s parted legs. He’d had plenty of blow jobs in his life, but he’d never given one to a guy. That didn’t mean he didn’t know what he liked and what he didn’t.
Careful to keep his teeth covered, James haltingly closed his mouth on the head. Shawn swore. His fingers fisted the comforter. That was when James decided to combine the rough rubbing he’d given the hole with the tip of his tongue instead. He was rewarded with a long, whimpering groan.
“Damn, you’re a fast learner,” Shawn gasped.
James kept an eye on the other man as he took him deeper. He tasted salty, slightly sweet with an underlying mustiness that reminded him of a gym locker. James felt ravenous. He liked the slick feel of Shawn on his tongue, the heady bitten-back moans, the way he twisted the sheets as he tried to stay still. He loved the way Shawn filled his mouth, and he sucked down as far as he could take him.
James pulled off. There was something else he wanted to taste. He ducked his head and dragged his tongue over the pale pink balls, felt them wrinkle up against his lips as he plucked at the loose skin. Then he wrapped his mouth around James’s sac.
Shawn cried out, his hips lifting off the bed. “James—God, James.” He tossed his head from side to side, seeming able to do little more than repeat his name.
James chuckled, the balls still in his mouth. Shawn snarled, grabbed his head and placed his lips back at his cockhead. Torturing Shawn turned out to be an insanely erotic game, he decided. But he knew what blue balls felt like, so he relented.
James went down on him in earnest. He sucked and drew on Shawn’s shaft, making it a mission to get him off. The shaft was hot on his tongue and James couldn’t deny his own desire seemed nearly out of control.
Suddenly Shawn pulled his hair. “I’m coming. James, I’m coming!”
James didn’t want to stop. He wanted to taste all of him. He bore down, taking him as deep as he could, his tongue working the base awkwardly. Shawn shouted, his hips pumped up three times and semen shot with stinging force against James’ soft palate.
He swallowed quickly, understanding the gag reflex for the first time, but quelling the urge. He wanted all of it. Every drop.
Shawn’s hips dropped back to the bed as he tried to catch his breath. “Holy fuck, you’re good at that.”
James grunted, busy licking him off. He liked the softening cock in his mouth almost as much as the firm one. He kept it there, licking, sucking, drawing on it, then dipping down to enjoy the texture of the other man’s balls.
Shawn’s laugh started soft and grew until he shook the bed with it. Annoyed, James looked up.
“What?” James asked, irritated.
“For a guy who could barely handle a kiss a week ago, you’ve come a long way.”
“I’m not close to done with you.” James swept up to his knees, pushed Shawn back and knocked the smaller man’s knees as far apart as they’d go—cop search style. “I know how to fuck ass.
That
, I’ve done before.”
He grabbed a condom and quickly put it on. Lube was easy too, though he’d rarely had to use it before. He put himself at Shawn’s hole, grabbed his hips and with only momentary hesitation, he pushed balls deep.
Shawn grunted with pain. Reaching back, he slapped James’ thigh, hard. “Fucking give me a few minutes next time to adjust.”
“Never heard a woman complain before,” James muttered.
“Maybe you were with loose women. I, for one, don’t let just anyone back there.”
James chuckled. Shawn did too.
“Are you okay?” James asked. “I’m going to explode if I don’t start moving.”
“Wait. Pull out.”
“The fuck you say,” James complained. He pulled out though. He’d never fuck someone who didn’t want it.
Shawn turned over. He motioned James down, then lifted his own leg to James’ shoulder. “Now fuck me.”
“I didn’t know guys could do this,” James admitted wonderingly.
“I like to look at the men I have sex with.”
James pushed in, deep. He watched his lover’s face change from one slightly pained to satisfaction. Connected like this, deep inside Shawn’s body, staring down into his blue eyes and angelic face, James couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else ever again.
He wanted to see that satisfaction bloom. Would it?
James withdrew slowly, pushed in. Shawn caught his bottom lip behind his teeth.
“Is that a yes?” James asked hoping he read the signals right.
“Yes,” he hissed. “Try tipping your hips up at the end.”
“What will that do?”
“Hit my prostate,” he answered. “Trust me. It feels really good.”
James tried it. Shawn gasped. He liked that look on Shawn’s face. He repeated the move on each thrust, until his own passion took precedence. It rode him suddenly and James couldn’t keep himself from pumping roughly into Shawn’s body, taking his own pleasure even as he gave it.
Shawn made a broken sound and moisture cooled James’ belly.
“Fuck that’s hot,” James rasped. He pounded Shawn relentlessly, fucking him in a mindless rut as orgasm clenched his balls and streaked up his spine. Cum exploded from him and James bucked his hips, rolling them in sharp jerks until he’d been emptied.
He kept his dick deep, his back bowed as he looked down at Shawn. “You came again?”
“It was news to me too,” Shawn confirmed with an embarrassed smile. “You feel good in there. Maybe one day you’ll let me explore
your
prostate.”
“Not sure I’m ready for that.” James lowered himself onto Shawn. “Am I hurting you?”
“No. You feel good.”
“So do you.”
Shawn pulled him down for a kiss. It was long and warm and James felt it to his toes. That was when he knew it was something special. That was when he knew
Shawn
was special. He’d found his Powell. Finally.