Protector of the Realm (17 page)

“Either.”

“I suggest you think about which one you want to pursue. Once we’ve settled the legal arrangements for Armeo, you'll be free to do whatever you want. We can always use pilots with your experience.”

Kellen relaxed visibly. “I know it may sound silly, but I was afraid of becoming…redundant. I’m not sure what being the commodore’s wife entails.”

“That makes two of us. I have no clue either.” Rae laughed, making Kellen’s eyes sparkle with indecipherable emotions. She thought she detected a sly look on Kellen’s face but wasn’t sure.

“We might have to make it up as we go along,” Kellen suggested with a casual flick of her wrist.

“Sounds good to me. Why don’t you show me some of these pictures of Armeo? He’ll be home soon, and once he’s gone to bed, I have some more work to do. For now it can wait, though.” Amazed at her own words, Rae tried to mask her feelings by leaning over the album. She couldn’t remember when anything had been more important to her than work.

“You sure you want to see these?”

“Yes. When was this one taken?” Rae pointed at the screen.

“He was six here and had just lost a front tooth…”

As Rae listened to the wistful, loving voice reminisce about days gone by, she found herself looking as much at Kellen as the many pictures of Armeo. Unmistakably, this woman was the boy’s mother in every sense that mattered.
I thought I understood it, but it’s…more, and such a simple, unbending truth.
Breathless with the impact of this realization, Rae vowed to do everything she could to not rob Armeo of the only parent he had.

Kellen walked toward the infirmary. She had her last treatment today and looked forward to returning to her
gan’thet
training program. Skilled in the ancient Gantharian martial art, she was the proud carrier of the Ruby Red Suit, which designated her as a master.

Her guard, now her bodyguard, walked two paces behind her. Kellen found his presence offensive. After all, she wasn’t a child like Armeo who needed protection, but Rae had insisted, obviously not trusting her ability to protect herself, or…not trusting
her.
Kellen strode as briskly as her wounded leg allowed, trying to put more distance between herself and the security officer, but he had no problem keeping up with her.

When she stepped inside the waiting area, a nurse informed her Dr. Meyer was running late, so Kellen took a seat. Her guard stayed within sight, but kept a considerate distance.

Taking out a handheld computer, she logged onto
Gamma VI
’s information channel. She was determined to find work as soon as she was back in shape, so she scanned the ads for both civilian and military personnel, pleased to see Rae was correct--pilots were in high demand. She didn’t want to work as a trade ship pilot, since she would have to be away from the station and Armeo for months. Also, she knew she couldn’t afford to be away from Rae at this point.

Kellen had woken up before Rae in the morning and found her wife curled up in the middle of the bed, a slender arm wrapped around Kellen’s waist. Holding her breath, Kellen looked down at the tousled red hair sticking up on Rae’s head. Seeing her looking so young in her sleep ignited a quick stab of tenderness before she reminded herself of what Rae represented. She was a power to be counted on within the SC, and so was her father. Images of her parents and Tereya, ripped from her life, leaving her to carry out her duties alone, flickered through her mind.

Rae stirred next to her but only buried her face in Kellen’s neck and continued to sleep. Kellen realized how fragile a human body was compared to her Gantharian strength, and still Rae’s heart was beating steadily; she could feel it against her upper arm.
She’s beautiful.
Utterly ashamed for even noticing such trivial facts when Rae was part of a vast power that might be on the verge of acknowledging and endorsing her enemy, Kellen froze. She didn’t know whether to move away or just lie still until her wife woke up. Eventually the chronometer’s soft female voice recited the time, and Rae’s eyes snapped open.

For a moment, she clutched Kellen even tighter, squinting against the faint starlight coming from the porthole. “Alarm off.” Her voice was even huskier in the morning.

Kellen shifted a little, freeing her long hair where it was stuck under Rae’s head.

“Kellen?” Rae sat up, looking down at her. “Oh, damn. Did I crowd you?”

“It’s all right. We’ll get used to sharing quarters…and this bed, eventually.”

“Yes, I suppose so.” Rae rubbed her eyes, still looking vulnerable and so much softer than Kellen had seen her. The thinlinnen shirt had twisted around her, baring Rae’s left shoulder. Her lips seemed fuller and had yet to find their usual austere expression. “We’ll just have to give it some time. I hope you slept okay, despite…” Rae gestured toward the wrinkled area in the center of the bed.

In fact, Kellen had slept better than she had before leaving Gantharat. Unsure what that implied she recoiled, raising her chin. “What do you expect from our union?”

Rae looked at her with obvious bemusement. “What do you mean? Union?”

“Our marriage. What do you hope to gain from it? Since this is for convenience, for appearance only…will you take lovers?”

“I’m not about to commit adultery,” Jacelon hissed, her eyes suddenly dark gray slits. “That’s not my style. Besides, it would be like confessing to the court that our marriage is arranged.”

“That’s why I asked.” Kellen fought to remain calm. To her dismay, Rae’s angry reply caused her more relief than she was comfortable with.
Take as many lovers as you like, Commodore. I couldn’t care less.
Her thoughts echoed hollow in her mind.

“I see.” Rae’s eyes held Kellen’s without wavering.

Kellen was struck by the contradiction between Rae’s elegant features, enhanced by the pale light, and her tousled hair. “I don’t even know if you find me attractive,” she said, wishing she had never started this discussion. “You’ve labeled me beautiful, but that’s not important. We have to have more than that between us if we’re going to make this work.”

Rae nodded. “I agree. But you haven’t said if you think I’m attractive either. I’m older than you, by quite a bit.”

Kellen thought she detected a trace of vulnerability in the way Rae fiddled with the bedsheet, as if to cover herself, but wasn’t sure. The odd little gesture tugged at something inside Kellen, stirring a need to reassure her. “You’re very attractive. Any man or woman would consider themselves lucky to marry you.” She felt her mouth go dry, and a sudden bout of nervousness made her voice hesitant. Unaccustomed to such closeness with another adult, and certainly in such an intimate setting as a bedroom, Kellen struggled to find the appropriate Premoni words. “Your touch is soft and pleasing.” She held her breath, knowing full well how uncertain she sounded.

“My touch?”

“You’ve tended to my wound several times. You’ve also touched me on several other occasions. You’re a strong woman with a soft touch.”

Rae averted her eyes, glancing down at her hands. Looking back up at Kellen, she reached for one of hers. “We’re in this together. We’ve signed a document, promising each other allegiance. I won’t break my vow. No matter what kind of relationship we have, how it may or may not develop, I want you to know you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

Kellen swallowed.
What’s she playing at now? Does she really think simple flattery will make me lower my guard when I need it the most?
“You don’t find me too alien?” Kellen wanted to kick herself for continuing this unproductive conversation. What did she care if Rae found her attractive or not?

“No more than you find me alien.” Rae had smiled then, her eyes glittering when they met Kellen’s.

“Dr. Meyer will see you now, Ms. O’Dal.” A nurse interrupted Kellen’s train of thought, and she rose and followed her to the examination room. As she waited for Gemma, the memory of Rae’s eyes lingered. So too did Rae’s declaration:
I want you to know you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen
.

“Hello, Kellen, you’re hardly limping at all. Excellent. Come with me, please.” Gemma stood in the doorway to the examination room. “You’re healing much quicker than I expected.”

Wondering if she was supposed to feel proud of her obedient flesh, Kellen removed her trousers behind a screen before she sat down in a chair. Looking where the inflamed wound used to be, she had to concede that it had healed beyond her expectations. Her mind flickered yet again to earlier in the morning, Rae’s hand around her own, and she wondered how it was possible for her to allow such an intimate act. Only a few days ago, she would have recoiled with a disdainful snarl.
Instead I sat there, compelled to reassure Rae that she’s indeed beautiful.
Angry at herself for her weakness, Kellen leaned back on her hands and glared at the doctor.

Gemma traced the pink scar tissue with her fingers and looked pleased. “I’ll use the deep-penetration fascia fuser, to ensure the strength of the muscle. After this treatment, I also want to use the derma fuser one more time. And by the way, you can resume normal everyday activities.”

Not about to get on her knees and thank the CMO, Kellen pinned Gemma with her eyes. “Can I get back to my physical training?”

“Sure, as long as you don’t overdo it or use heavy workout tools. You may feel a tightness, which is okay, but if the sensation becomes more toward burning, you’ll have to stop what you’re doing and see me. You know your own body’s limitations. Pay attention, and you should be fine.” She cleaned the skin and ran the first fuser along the scar. “I’m relieved we didn’t have to graft any muscle tissue. You’d have been in the infirmary while we cultivated the tissue from cells from your uninjured leg, and that takes weeks.”

“Because I’m the only Gantharian here.” Kellen kept her eyes on the other woman’s hand, which slowly moved the piece of technology along her thigh.

“Yes.”

The tingling sensation bordered on pain, but was far less painful than the treatment the day before. Kellen assumed this was a good sign. Reluctantly, she admitted to herself that
Gamma VI
’s trauma physician far exceeded the Onotharian butchers who treated Gantharian citizens with inferior technology. Gantharian physicians were not allowed to practice medicine independently any more. Demoted to working as orderlies, once-distinguished medical professors and docents worked for minimum wages in humiliating circumstances. Kellen glowered at Gemma, knowing that she would become one of these oppressors once the SC acknowledged Onotharat’s dirty business on her homeworld.

“There, that’s it.” Gemma put the instrument away and peeled off her surgical gloves. “My assistant will give you some scar-reduction tape and show you how you align it with the scar. Then you’re ready to go.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Cold politeness was all Kellen could master. She rose and, to her astonishment, felt no pain at all, not even a small reminder of how excruciating the throbbing had been only days ago. Half admiring, half resenting the Supreme Constellations technology available to the
Gamma VI
military installation, she stood indecisively, her hands by her side. Her people back home had no such help, she reminded herself again..

“Please, call me Gemma,” the doctor reminded her. “We’re going to be running into each other frequently since Rae is a good friend of mine. I look forward to hearing more about Gantharat.”

Kellen felt a sudden sorrow erupt in her stomach, making her bite hard into her lower lip. Visions of the billowing green hills around her estate sent shivers through her, and she knew from the sympathetic look in Gemma’s eyes that she could spot the desolation on her face.
This woman’s a friend of Rae’s.
Kellen made an effort to answer politely. “Armeo and I will do our best to describe it to you. It’ll be good for him to talk about his homeworld.”

“I know you can’t go home. I didn’t mean to sound insensitive.”

“You didn’t. I’d rather people not walk on glass around me. Things are as they are. We’re lucky to be together, no longer fugitives.”

“And we’ll benefit from knowing you.” Gemma rose. “Take care, and don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions or experience discomfort.”

“I guess ‘discomfort’ is a good word. I’ll use some more of the paste Rae gave me last night. It helps with the sting from the derma fuser.”

Gemma covered her eyes with one hand. “God, that woman has half of my medical supplies in her cabinets.”

“Why is that?” Kellen suddenly felt concerned. Did Rae’s seemingly healthy appearance lie? “Is Rae ill?”
She’s my only anchor here. What if something happens to her?

“Fit and strong as a racehorse. The thing is, she insists on going on missions herself, despite her rank, or perhaps because of it. She’s worn out more derma fusers than anyone else on this station. I have to run. Take care now.”

Gemma disappeared out the door, leaving Kellen to get dressed. She frowned as she carefully donned her trousers. Was Rae as reckless as Gemma’s words suggested or merely dedicated to her work? If her spouse risked her life at any given time, she and Armeo might end up stranded without her.
I can’t keep Armeo around anyone who’s not careful.

*

Sitting through an extended morning meeting because everyone on her craft wanted to impress her father was not what Rae had in mind. As she endured the ensign who sounded even more solemn than usual while he submitted his report, she had to bite her lower lip to keep from cutting him off. Shifting in her chair, she stealthily punched in a few commands on her handheld computer and checked the status of the three ports. Unfortunately she couldn’t find even the smallest skirmish anywhere that demanded her attention. Damn.