Protecting My Hart (Protectors Series Book 1) (22 page)

Oh. My. God. Is he serious? He can’t be. He’s been calling me Tesoro for years
. I’m pretty sure I’m not breathing as I just stare at him.

“Hart?”

“How can that be? You used to say ‘te amo’ before when I was living with JD. You have been calling me Tesoro forever.”

“Yes, I have. You have always been my treasure. Saying te amo was the only way I could tell you how I felt without causing problems. I didn’t want to get you into trouble, and I had no idea the hell you were going through. I’m pissed at myself for not telling you sooner, and then I could have gotten you away from there. I spent all of those years falling in love with you so deeply, and it all started the day I met you. I love you, Hart, you are my treasure, and I will always love you. I promise.”

That’s it. I’m done. That was the last hit I could handle, my shield has been effectively shattered. I can’t fight the fact that I feel safe here with him. I can’t fight the way he makes me feel loved. I can’t fight the way he clearly loves my son, or the way Ethan loves him in return. I can’t keep fighting to keep him away. He’s here, he’s told me what he feels, and it’s true that it’s not sudden. I believe him, he wants me here, he wants a future with me. He loves me. I can’t fight those facts any longer. I can’t fight what Beamer told me. I can’t fight the feeling of being complete that came back that first night I slept in his arms. I can’t fight reality any longer. I can’t fight the plain and simple fact that I love Slyde Cardoane.

“I…I…Slyde, I…” I choke out as a new wave of tears rush forward. The look in his eyes is overwhelming; these feelings are overwhelming and even though they terrify me, I can’t fight them anymore. I look into his eyes, and I know that I am home. “Slyde, I love you too,” I rasp out.

“I know you do, Tesoro. I know. I love you, Hartley, everything is going to be OK. I promise.” His lips seal softly to mine, and I melt into the man I love while he holds me protectively and kisses me lovingly.

Ethan and I are at the park playing, and it’s been about two weeks since my breakthrough. I’m finally starting to understand and accept Slyde’s feelings. Even though I admitted mine to him as well, I’m still processing everything. I love him, I really do, but accepting something good is still a difficult concept. Slyde reminds me at every opportunity.

Arms slip around me from behind while I make breakfast. Lips press against the side of my neck.

“Where do you belong, Tesoro?”

“With you.”

“Say it.”

“I belong here with you, Slyde.”

“Mi preciosa belleza te amo.” He kisses me again before leaving me alone to cook.

That happens a lot. It’s getting easier each time to say that I belong here with him, and if I’m honest, the more I say it, the more I really do believe that I belong here. Ethan has adjusted without an issue. He loves the guys; both Kash and Beamer now have the title ‘Uncle’ before their names. I like that, and it’s true, over the last couple of weeks they really have become family. Then there is Slyde whom Ethan looks at like a hero, and that part is true too. Slyde
is
our hero. All of this he is doing out of love and to keep us safe. What more could we ask for? I just keep praying that this happy, content feeling doesn’t get ripped away from me.

Kash has been here with us for the last several days—this is the longest that Slyde has been gone since we moved in. Slyde is supposed to be home at some point today but will only be home for a day. I seriously can’t wait for all of this to be over. Not only will I be able to let the fear go, but I will also have more time with Slyde. I really do miss him when he’s not here, but when he is, life seems so normal. We spend time playing with Ethan, talking, watching movies, we’ve had the guys over once for a barbeque, and it was enjoyable. I have loved falling asleep next to him whether we just go to bed or he makes me scream his name first. Either way; I love sleeping pressed against him and when he’s not here I feel as if a part of me is missing. It’s a strange feeling really being here in Slyde’s house—it’s comfortable, and not something that I have ever experienced before.

Ethan comes running up to me. “Momma, I’m hungry.”

“You are?”

“Yes. When can we have dinner?”

“I’ll tell you what, why don’t we go back home and I’ll make you a snack to hold you over while I make dinner.”

“OK. Can I have cheese?”

“I think that might be possible. Go get your truck; we don’t want to leave it here.”

“OK,” he shouts as he runs back over to his truck and Kash follows him back over.

“Are we done here?” Kash asks.

“Yeah, Uncle Kash, I’m hungry and Momma said she would make me a snack when we get home.”

“Sounds good, little man. Let’s go.” Kash takes Ethan’s free hand and we start to walk back to the house when Kash’s phone rings.

“Hey, man. Yeah, we are headed back from the park. You are? Cool, see ya in a few.” Kash slips his phone back in his pocket as he turns his head to me and smiles. “Slyde’s home.” His grin gets wider I’m sure as my pace picks up. Just as we breech the small hill, the house comes into view and so does Slyde who is just walking out of the house onto the porch. Our eyes lock over the long distance and the smile on my face hits mega-wide and my feet begin to run toward him. He meets me at the edge of the lawn, bracing for my impact. Jumping, my arms fly around his neck and my legs wrap tight around his waist.

“Hey, Tesoro.”

“Hi,” I mumble into his neck. Feeling him, breathing him in erases the empty feeling I’ve had since he’s been gone. Lifting my head, my eyes get lost in the deep blue depths of his. He smiles, and it’s a good thing I’m wrapped around him, otherwise my weak knees would have me melting to the ground before him.

“Did you miss me?” His smile gets wider. I give him a smile in return, one hand coming from around his neck. I gently caress his cheek before sliding my fingers into his hair and then lower my mouth to his, slipping my tongue between his lips, tasting him. His arms tighten around me and I hear him groan. I kiss him deep, putting as many of the emotions I’m feeling as I possibly can into the kiss and Slyde does the same. Pulling back, I drag in a deep breath.

“I think I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Good idea.” I smirk back.

“Uncle Kash, why do Momma and Slyde always gotta kiss?”

“Kissing girls is fun, little man. You’ll understand when you get older.”

“No I don’t wanna kiss girls when I grow up. I only wanna kiss Momma,” Ethan replies making Kash laugh, I can’t stop the giggle coming from my throat and Slyde chuckles. He gives me a small kiss before I slide down his body.

“Good idea, baby boy, I’m not sure I want you kissing girls,” I tease him, turning to face him. Ethan lets go of Kash’s hand and walks over to Slyde wrapping his arms around one of Slyde’s legs. Slyde bends down instantly and pulls Ethan up into his arms giving him a hug.

“Do you get to stay home for a long time, Slyde?”

“No, buddy, not this time. I get to stay home tonight and tomorrow night, but I have to leave before you wake up on the next day,” Slyde tells him gently. My heart lurches at Slyde’s response and at Ethan’s reaction. We both miss him like crazy, and at least for me, desperately want him to be home for good.

“Uncle Kash, are you going to come back when Slyde has to leave again?”

“Actually I think that Uncle Beamer is going to come over to play.”

“Cool, I can show him the new game you and me played!”

“I think he’d like that, buddy.”

“C’mon you three, inside, I’ll make dinner. Kash, you’re staying, right?”

“Naw, darlin’, I’m gonna go, leave you three be.”

“Nonsense, stay for dinner, Slyde can kick you out afterwards.” I laugh and so do the guys as they follow me into the house, Ethan clinging to Slyde.

Dinner is over, dishes are washed. Ethan has had a bath and fell asleep to Slyde reading him a story. I have just put another load of laundry into the dryer and head to Slyde’s room to get ready for bed. I’ve slipped on one of Slyde’s overlarge shirts—I’ve been wearing his shirts to bed since he left; it makes me feel better. Finishing up my teeth, I’ve just taken my hair down and turn to walk back into the bedroom when I see Slyde leaning against the door frame watching me, which causes me to stop mid-step. His eyes roam from my head to my toes before locking his eyes with mine.

“Fuck, Tesoro, that shirt has never looked better.” Quivers race through my body, and I melt inside at the word Tesoro. Now that I know what it means, my heart jumps and the butterflies go crazy every single time that word slips past his lips.

“I, uh, I hope it’s OK. I just felt better wearing it while you’ve been gone.”

“Like I said, mi amor, it’s never looked better. You can wear my shirts any fuckin’ time you want to.” He takes the two steps to me and pulls me into his arms. His nose buried in my hair, he inhales deeply. “Fuck, I’ve missed you, Tesoro. I can’t wait for this shit to be over.”

“Me too. I miss you when you are gone.”

“Soon, Hartley, it will all be over soon,” I tell her, pulling her closer to me.
Fuck, this feels wonderful. I’m home, my son is sleeping down the hall, and I’ve got my girl in my arms again. This feeling of peace is something I desperately needed, it sucks I can only have it for a day before I have to go back to hell, but at least I get to have it.

“Slyde, I have to tell you something,” she states softly. I already have an idea of what it is. Kash told me what they did, none of it was bad, but I know how her mind works and she feels guilty, feels like she needs to explain.

“What is it, Hart?” I ask as she pulls herself back, only slightly though because I won’t let her move much further back.

“Well, we ran out of a few things, and so I asked Kash to take us to the grocery store and well it’s starting to get colder, and Ethan needed some new pants, he’s just about grown out of the ones he has so I bought him some new ones only two pairs, and a few new shirts too.”

“Did you use my card?” I ask her even though I already know the answer.

“Yes, but I didn’t spend much I swear, and it was only for stuff that was needed, and well I would have used my cash, but you got mad last time and I just didn’t want to get you upset again, but I didn’t want you to be upset that I used it if you changed your mind, and….” I cut off her rambling by kissing her gently, and I feel her relax back into me.

“Not gonna change my mind about it, Hart. I want you using that card for whatever you need and for things you just want. Don’t have to explain it either. Told you that’s your money now too. Use it.”

“But.”

“No buts, Hart. Where do you belong?”

“With you,” she replies quickly.

“Why?”

“Um...” she hesitates.

“Why, Hart?”

“Because you love me, and I’m your girl,” she answers quietly.

“And what am I gonna do for my girl?”

“Take care of me and our son.” Her voice is almost a whisper.

“That’s right, Tesoro. I love you, and that will never change. I will take care of you and Ethan.”

“I know,” she states on a ragged breath. I can tell she’s trying to keep from crying. I pull her closer to me, and she rests her head against my shoulder. We stay like this for a while, both of us enjoying being close, when her hands slip under my shirt and her lips move to my neck. Soft, warm hands caress my skin, hot, wet lips press against my neck, kissing and sucking. My body responds instantly to her. One arm pulls her closer, the other hand slipping into her hair, pulling slightly. Her lips release my neck and mine crash to hers, my tongue inside her mouth tasting and teasing her. Fuck, the way she makes me feel is intense. The soft way her hands touch me, the gentle kisses she presses on my skin, the way her body melts into mine all make me crave her, as if she is the one thing that keeps my body alive. Never have I needed a woman so much, never has a woman been able to bring my body to this level of need so quickly. I hate being away from her for so long, I need her so bad, but this is still new for us, and I don’t want her to feel pressured about it. I don’t want her thinking that this is all I want from her. I try to will my cock to behave, but it’s not listening and growing harder by the second.
Fuck.