Protected by the Major (19 page)

‘I did not wish to drag you down with me. Rochdale would have ruined us both if he could.’

Hal seized her by the arms, gazing down into her face. She saw anger and hurt in his eyes and her throat tightened with emotion.

‘I’m sorry, Hal. I never meant to hurt you.’

‘I thought I should die of the wound you inflicted when you wed him,’ he said. ‘For a time I hoped I should be killed in battle. It was my cousins who brought me through.’

‘Forgive me...’ Tears were burning behind her eyes. ‘I believed I had no choice. I have regretted it so many times.’

‘If you heard Adam question me that night, it was because he knew that I had suffered the first time and he feared it might destroy me if you hurt me again. Is that why you left me, Maddie? Tell me, I beg you, for I have been in agony since I learned you’d gone. If you do not care for me, tell me now and let us be done.’

‘Oh, Hal,’ Madeline said and the tears began to trickle down her cheeks. ‘I have always loved you b—’

She got no further for he crushed her against him, bending his head to kiss her fiercely on the lips. His kiss was filled with a desperate need and hunger that she could not help but know for desire. Yet she found herself pressing her body closer, felt the heat rising from within her and knew that she wanted him to go on kissing her. She wanted to be held for ever in just this way. She had feared that she would freeze and shrink away when he demanded intimacy of her, but suddenly she knew that she could never feel revulsion for anything Hal did to her. It was Lethbridge’s coarse, brutal treatment of her that had made her shrink away, but even in the midst of his passion, Hal was tender and his love caressed and coaxed rather than took. She slipped her arms up about his neck and kissed him back, her lips parting as his tongue explored and flicked at hers in a way that made her tingle and want to melt into his body.

‘Oh, Hal, I was afraid...’ she said and now she was laughing and crying at the same time. ‘But you have been so sweet to me, so loving that you have banished what he did...the shame he made me feel...’

‘You should never feel shame,’ Hal murmured and stroked her hair as she buried her face in his shoulder. ‘You were innocent and sweet when he forced marriage on you. I vow that I will never force or hurt you, my love. You have only to ask me to stop and I would let you go.’

The tears were trickling down her cheeks so that she tasted their salt. ‘I feared I could not be a proper wife to you and I did not want you to give up everything you cared for, for my sake. I thought you would become bitter and hate me if I could not...but I can,’ she said and gulped back her tears as he wiped them from her cheeks with his fingertips. ‘I love you, Hal. I do want to be your wife so very much.’

‘Then we shall be married as soon as I can arrange it,’ he said and smiled. ‘Be damned to the gossips and those who censure us may do so. We shall have friends who accept us and I dare say we shall not often come to town, for my estate is small and I fear we must live the life of a country gentleman and his wife.’

‘It is all I want,’ Madeline told him, smiling through the tears. ‘I shall let Mr Symonds save what he can from Lethbridge’s estate and it shall be put aside for our children. If amongst the jewels I left at Ravenscar there are any worth selling, they may be sold for I shall need only the pearls that came from my grandmother.’

‘I have some pieces that my grandmother left to me,’ Hal told her. ‘All I have is yours and I own I would rather not keep anything that belonged to your husband.’

‘We shall not,’ Madeline promised. ‘Our children may inherit what there is, but we shall do very well on your estate. To be your wife is all that I care for, my love.’

‘If I have you, I am richer than any man deserves to be,’ Hal said and bent his head to kiss her once more. ‘I can hardly wait for our wedding day, my love.’

Afterword

‘I
t was so good of you to give us the reception here,’ Madeline said as Jenny entered the bedchamber where she was dressing for her wedding. ‘I do not think I deserve it after I ran away and caused you all so much distress.’

‘Adam told me it was his fault. You heard him question Hal’s wisdom in giving up his estate to go abroad, and he should not have doubted you—as I soon told him. You are my friend, Maddie, and I am glad that everything has turned out well for you after all.’

‘I never thought I could be so happy. Lethbridge was not a kind man. I believed I could never give myself to anyone, not even Hal—but I saw how happy you were, Jenny, and Hal was so tender and gentle. I did not know it, but my stay here helped me to recover my pride and forget my shame, and now I cannot wait to be Hal’s wife.’

‘There can be no shame where love is,’ Jenny said and smiled. ‘To love and be loved is more pleasure than I could ever describe in mere words. Trust Hal for he is a good man and would never willingly hurt you—and if you fear anything tell him.’

‘Yes, I shall, though I do not think I shall fear anything in his arms. We have not stopped at kisses.’ She blushed as her friend laughed. ‘I did not wish to wait for I wanted to be sure that I was not a shrinking violet on my wedding night, though we have not...lain together. Yet from his touch and the way I felt, I know now that there is much happiness to be found with the man you love.’

‘Yes, there is. You look beautiful,’ Jenny said. ‘Hal will think himself lucky to have you, Maddie. I hope you will both visit us whenever you can spare the time.’

‘We shall, you may depend on it—and you must come to us.’

Sally entered the room then, bearing Madeline’s bouquet of lilies and roses dressed with lace and ribbons. Her wedding to Thomas had been a simple one before they left London, but although she would return to her husband’s inn after the wedding reception, she had wanted to dress her former mistress one last time. She was to be a maid of honour and carry the train of Madeline’s shimmering ivory gown.

‘You do look lovely, my lady,’ Sally said and handed her the flowers. ‘I am so glad I have seen you—you look so happy.’

‘I am. Thank you both for helping me. I am ready and we should go down now, because I do not wish to keep Hal waiting.’

* * *

Hal turned his head to watch as his bride approached down the long nave of the ancient church. She looked so regal and beautiful in her gown of satin and lace and he caught his breath. Was she truly here or was it just another of the dreams that had haunted him for years?

She came to stand by his side, then turned her head to smile at him. His breath caught and he felt a surge of love and joy. Her bonnet of blue satin was trimmed with ribbons of ivory with silk roses stitched under the brim, the colour of the satin setting off the greener shade of her eyes. She looked pale and he wondered, but then she smiled up at him and his heart sang, because he saw the joy in her eyes. She had longed for this day as much as he had and she had overcome her fears, trusting in him to love her and cherish her for the rest of their lives. He smiled at her, feeling the love flow between them. She was truly his at last and he knew that happiness awaited them.

As the vicar began to intone the marriage ceremony, Hal reached for his bride’s hand and held it firmly. She was his and he would care for her and protect her for the rest of his life.

The sun was shining through a high window, sending showers of colour through the stained glass on to the flagstones. A surge of happiness went through Hal as he glanced sideways at his bride. He wanted her, desired her, but most of all he wanted to make her happy.

* * *

Lord Ravenscar had made the dower house available to them for their first night together. Everywhere had been polished, fires lit and vases of flowers placed in every room. The chef at Ravenscar had sent down some delicious food for them and it was laid out in the small breakfast parlour, the candles arranged to give an intimate atmosphere. Maddie’s new maid had fussed around her, arranging her skirts in the carriage so that they would not crease and making sure that she had all she needed. She was even now upstairs in the bedchamber they would share, laying out her nightgown and making sure it was perfect.

Hal smiled at Maddie as she touched the silver horseshoes tied with ribbons, the small gifts that awaited them and the pretty flower arrangements on the table that held the tempting buffet.

‘Is everything as you would wish, my love?’

She turned to him, lifting her eyes to his with a shy smile. ‘Everyone has done so much. This is perfect, Hal—but I should not have cared if it had been a modest room in an inn. I have you and that is all I want.’

‘Will you have some wine, my love?’

‘I believe I’ve had enough,’ she murmured and moved towards him, lifting her face for his kiss. ‘I am ready to go up, Hal. I want to be completely alone with you—sure that no one will intrude.’

‘Go up, then, and send your maid away when you are ready. I shall come to you as soon as I’ve seen that the house is locked for the night.’

‘Yes...’ She gave a little gurgle of laughter. ‘That sounds as if we have been married for ever.’

‘Do not imagine I am not as impatient as you,’ he said and the fire leaped in his eyes. ‘But I want to give you time to be ready.’

Maddie nodded, leaned forwards and kissed him lightly on the mouth, then turned and left the room. She went slowly up the stairs, her mind reviewing the reception with her friends; more of them had come to wish her well than she would ever have expected. So many lovely gifts had been sent to them that Madeline thought it would take her many days to reply and thank them all. She seemed almost to float on air and could not help humming a little tune as she entered her bedroom.

‘I have laid out the lace nightgown, my lady,’ Maria said. ‘I hope this is the one you meant?’

‘Yes, it is,’ she said and smiled at the girl. ‘If you will help me to undress and then leave me, please.’

‘Yes, my lady. At what time would you like me to dress you in the morning?’

‘I shall ring when I need you.’

Maddie stepped out of her gown and then stood as the girl unlaced her bodice. A lovely filmy white nightgown was slipped over her head, and the pins taken from her hair, but when Maria offered to brush her hair she shook her head.

‘I can manage now, thank you,’ she said. ‘You may go to bed. I shall not need you again tonight.’

Maria curtsied, wished her happiness and went from the room, a little smile on her lips as she turned away.

Madeline began to brush her hair as the door closed behind the maid. It was a little strange not to have Sally waiting on her, but she would get used to it in time. She enjoyed the feel of the brush on her hair and had stroked it several times when the door opened and Hal entered. He was wearing a long dressing robe of dark-blue velvet and his feet were bare. As he approached she caught the smell of soap and knew that he had washed his face and shaved before coming to her.

‘I am not too soon?’ he asked hesitantly. ‘You know that I am prepared to wait until...’

‘There is nothing more to wait for,’ she said and moved towards him. She slipped her arms about his waist, lifting her gaze to his. ‘I love you, Hal. You are not Lethbridge. I love you and I trust you. Please make love to me. It is what I want—to be yours, to be your wife and to love you forever.’

* * *

Madeline woke slowly to a feeling of well being. She smiled as the memories of Hal kissing her, of his lips lingering in the most intimate places, came filtering back into her mind like sunbeams of pleasure. She had never known that she could feel this way...never known that her body could sing and cry out for more. She had been swept away on a wave of desire and sensual pleasure, reaching such heights as they loved that she’d cried out, her nails scoring his shoulder as she shuddered and moaned with need. All the love she’d shut away inside her for years poured out, welcoming this man who had taught her to feel again. She clung to him and wept when the storm of passion had settled and then laughed at his anxious face as he wiped away her tears, reassuring him that they were tears of happiness and not pain.

‘You are awake,’ Hal said and leaned up on his arm to gaze down into her face. ‘You looked so lovely as you slept that I did not want to wake you.’

‘Yes, I am awake.’ She glanced towards the window and saw that sunshine was peeping through the crack. ‘What time is it?’

‘About eleven, I think,’ he said and bent down to kiss the end of her nose. ‘I kept you awake most of the night, Maddie...but you tempted me so much I could not leave you alone. I have wanted you for so long.’

‘I hope you will always want me as much as you did last night,’ she said and reached up to kiss him at the corner of his mouth. ‘You made me so happy, Hal. I knew that I loved you, but I did not know I could feel that way...so content and secure in your arms.’

‘It is the way I always want you to feel,’ he murmured and bent his head to kiss the little hollow at the base of her throat. He kissed the valley between her breasts and then licked delicately at her nipples. ‘You taste so good that I want to gobble you up.’

Madeline laughed, because she had never known what it was to be teased like this or to luxuriate in the warmth of a man’s adoration and tender love. She trembled as his hand explored and stroked her body, feeling little flickers of desire shoot through her once more. She could feel the heat between her thighs and the moisture as her body welcomed him to her again, lifting her hips to allow him to ease into her, his smooth hardness filling her in a way that brought no pain, but only aching delight and pleasure that grew and grew until it exploded inside her.

Afterwards, they lay in each other’s arm, talking and laughing, remembering that time when they were young and forgetting the hurt that had kept them apart so long.

And when at last they rose and Madeline rang for her maid, while Hal went away to wash and shave, she knew the true meaning of happiness at last. After eating a light nuncheon they would leave for Hal’s estate in Cambridgeshire, for Madeline had wanted to begin her new life at once.

‘I have clothes enough,’ she told Hal when he’d asked where she would like to go for her honeymoon. ‘Why should I need a trip to Paris to buy more? I would rather spend the money on curtains and things for our home—and then perhaps another year, if we can afford it, we shall go on a little trip somewhere. If not to Paris, to Scotland or even to the coast of Cornwall, which I hear is very wild but beautiful in summer.’

‘We could have a wedding trip if you wished,’ Hal told her. ‘My mother’s brother has written to me. He tells me that I am to be his heir, because his son died in an accident, and asked that I should bring you to meet him in a few weeks. It is like to be some years before we inherit, but I am content to be a country gentleman, if you are content to be the wife of a gentleman farmer?’

‘Quite content, my love,’ she said, ‘but I should like to meet your uncle for he must be lonely having lost his family—and I should like to share a little of our happiness.’

‘And we shall have plenty to share,’ he said and kissed her again.

* * * * *