Protect Me (Sawtooth Shifters, #3) (6 page)

“Rummy!” she called out. “You should never put two fives that close together, Baron. I taught you better than that.” But she was distracted, too; someone was scratching at the door. Not unusual, considering we’d all be canine in twenty-four hours, but not yet.

She opened the door and gasped. “Shadow? Honey, come in. You shifted already?”

What the fuck?

**

W
e made it through the attack with little damage. Not like last time, when we lost a brother. I’d expected much worse, but Shadow’s prediction was spot on—Ryker and his men never saw us coming. Shadow shifting early had everything inside me on point, my nerves tangled in fur that wanted to burst through my skin. My thoughts and movements were more wolf than man, but catching Ryker and his men off-guard was our best weapon.

Ryker was dead. Shadow ripped him to pieces, but his blood was on my hands, too. Another death. I may not have killed him, but I was an accessory to the crime. Ever the loyal soldier, I drove Shadow to the farm, and executed his orders. I didn’t think about what I did, just like the man on the mountain last night.

I let instinct take over. This wasn’t my wolf, this was something much more sinister. A feral need to protect what little was ours. No holds barred. Family, that’s all we had. Everything else could be replaced. I shut down the part of my brain the dealt with the repercussions, and delivered justice in the only way I knew how. I could hate myself for this later, but I wouldn’t lose the respect of my brothers.

The guards looked on in awe that someone had finally outsmarted the bastard. I wondered, seeing them as a free men for the first time, if they’d been captured, too. Why else would they have carried out Ryker’s orders, unless it was out of fear of having the same thing happen to them, or worse. With Ryker, it could always be worse.

For now, they were cooperating with us. They were used to submission; a new master shouldn’t change that for them. But tonight, with the Beaver Moon at its fullest beauty, my shift was inevitable.

When I’d been held captive, I would’ve done anything to be human again. Followed anyone who could make that happen. The ladies who worked at Forever Home were the only ones who came through for us, and I’d be forever faithful. But now, I needed to shed all the horrible things that had happened in the last few days, before this dark side of me took over everything else. A part of me wanted it to. The only way to avoid that was to go back to wolf.

“Tonight’s the night?” Kiera asked. I’d never seen her look so worried. I met her at the shelter. Shadow was still wolf. Trina was nursing him back to health, along with the dogs we’d rescued from Ryker’s farm. The bastard had already begun restocking for more fights. These dogs had only been with Ryker a fraction of the time we’d been enslaved and were still in good shape. 

“It is.” We held hands in the parking lot, the cool crisp night falling all around us. The air tasted like snow. This close to the shift, my wolf twisted inside me, looking for any escape.

“What are you going to do?” Her eyes were wide, studying me for any sign of change. It wasn’t gradual. Once the wolf found its out, I’d be animal within minutes. “Please tell me you’re going up to Baldy to run. That’s what you want. And if I hadn’t wiped out,” she rubbed her head, wincing when she hit the bump, “you could’ve had the run of the place the other night.”

“I wish.” I let go of her, walking to the edge of the parking lot. The shelter was on what used to be pack land, and the woods were thick immediately. My mouth watered at the thought of running through them, the feel of the dead brush scraping against my belly, the silence of the autumn woods humming in my ears. “We’ve got to go to Ryker’s farm, check on the men since Shadow can’t, and catch up with Major. We have to tell him that Shadow took out Ryker. Shadow’s so pissed he can’t do his victory dance.” He hadn’t healed one hundred percent yet. With all those open wounds he’d be like an all you can eat buffet in the forest.

Kiera laughed softly, coming up behind me. “I’m envious of you.” I could barely hear her. “I’d love to know what it’s like to turn into something else. It’s freedom, Baron. Don’t waste it. For me.”

Her words echoed through my soul, my mouth watered even more. She’d fought for freedom only to lose her own. I wouldn’t let her down. “I won’t.” I already couldn’t wait to come back. No more waste. Since Shadow killed Ryker, there’d be little dispute he was alpha. The other wolves would be startled when the Channings took humans as mates, but they wouldn’t be able to fight it. Kiera was my girl, if she’d have me.

Pulling Kiera against me, she welcomed me in for a long, hot kiss. A delectable mix of desire and desperation, she’d never tasted so good. Kiera might not be able to put her feelings into words, but the way her tongue tangled with mine, playfully at first, then urgent, her hands gripping my shoulders hard, I knew she was terrified about what the night would bring for me. I could tell her a thousand times that she had nothing to worry about, but words meant nothing compared to the way our bodies melted together in this kiss. We were one, and I wished I could bring her with me, so she could experience the shift through her own eyes and heart.

It hurt to pull away from her. “Go back inside,” I rasped. I didn’t have much longer.

“Baron—“

“Not this time.” I gasped. Fur rose in my throat, I could hardly speak. “You can watch me when I have more control over it.”

“Okay.” She didn’t look convinced. “Baron, I....um, just come back to me in one piece.” Her eyes clouded over, and she wrapped her arms around her middle, shielding her scars, before running back into the shelter.

I wouldn’t give her any more scars. Only happy memories.

My shift began before she made it to the door, fur ripping through my skin, claws elongating my fingers, my jaw breaking to accommodate fangs. All the stress and the pent up shit leading to this shift floated away. It didn’t fucking matter anymore. This was how I was meant to be. Animal.

Dallas shifted just before dawn yesterday, after I got him back to the forest. He’d be waiting for me, so we could make sure everyone was behaving as Shadow wanted them to. The problem was, I didn’t give a damn about any of it, especially now I was the wolf. All the drama and the violence didn’t belong to me like this.

I trotted through the dense woods, high off moss and sap fumes. Rolling onto my back, the dusting of snow on the path crunched under my fur. This was how things were supposed to be. At one with the forest. Not tearing each other apart.

As the second in command, I was a loyal pack mate. I went to Dallas, even though all I wanted to do was run up that mountain. I found him on the porch, licking his paw, staring in the direction of Major’s village.

“I’m not the first one to see you tonight?” I nudged him, trying to get him to lighten up.

“Nope.” It didn’t work. “Major was here, wanting to know where Shadow was. Won’t believe Ryker’s gone until he sees it himself.”

“Then he can go babysit his goons.” I certainly didn’t want to do it. “Think any of them will shift tonight?”

“It’s possible.” Dallas padded down the steps, shaking out his fur. “It’s a good idea if we beat Major there.”

“If any of them did shift, we should let them know they’re free to go.” I headed back to the trees, but Dallas didn’t follow. “What?”

“Shadow will kill you if you let those guys go,” Dallas growled. He caught up to me, and we trotted side by side into the forest. “They’re in his pack now. He decides if they go or not.”

So we just traded one regime for another, and nothing was going to change, except for my brother.

That wasn’t what the Channings stood for.

K
iera

“You’re safe. Thank God.” I ran to Baron when he and Dallas walked up the steps of Forever Home.

“Damn, it’s good to see you.” Baron wrapped me in a tight hug, rocking me back and forth. He inhaled deeply, his face buried in my neck. They had only stayed wolves for a little more than twenty-four hours, but Shadow had yet to shift back to human.

My heart broke for Trina, the pain on her face said everything she wouldn’t as she looked up at his brothers. The moon’s power affected the wolves’ strength, and if Shadow stayed like that too long, he might have to wait until it was full again to become a man. I’d worried Baron would have the same problem as his brother since it had been so long since they’d gone through a full shift.

Trina hadn’t left Shadow’s side, and now she sat on the floor beside him, stroking his coat. His whines turned to barking and growling once his brothers returned, trying to tell them something. “Are you sure he’s not in danger?” Her eyes were rimmed with unshed tears.

“It should be any time.” Baron sighed, but I knew he was completely bullshitting her. He didn’t look at Trina as he sunk to one knee, rubbing Shadow hard behind his ears. I knew they could talk to each other, no matter what form they were in, so maybe he was pleading with his brother to get his shit together and shift.

My heart broke for me, too. With Ryker gone, the guys would have no reason to spend the night at our house anymore. I didn’t know what I’d do if Baron didn’t come back with me tonight. He’d finally given me something to look forward to. I’d learned a lot from the animals, but with Baron, I could put it all into action. I was ready to trust someone with my heart.

“We’re going to get pizza.” Lyssie startled me when she touched my arm. I’d been lost in a Baron daydream. “Want to come?”

Baron’s gaze flicked to me, but I couldn’t read them. “Not tonight.” I didn’t want to speak for him either way. “Raincheck?” She nodded, and slipped her hand in Dallas’ before heading out of the shelter.

I followed her, but sat on the front stoop. I didn’t want to stay inside, all awkward and shit, waiting for Baron to pay attention to me when he was more concerned with Shadow. And rightfully so. Still, all this unknown, all this wanting something, made me feel like I wasn’t enough. It was a sensation that had replaced the feeling in my burned skin. I never felt like this before my accident. If I didn’t have something, I did whatever it took to get it. No questions asked. No fear. But getting up close and personal with a fireball made me extremely aware of my limitations. And my mortality. I fucking hated both of them.

“I missed you so much.” Baron words were an exhale as he sat beside me, like he hadn’t been able to breathe in the shelter. He slung his arm low across my back but his eyes were fixed on the trees at the end of the parking lot. Narrowing my eyes in the same direction, I wondered what he left behind there in the shift, and what he brought back.

Missed you too
didn’t even begin to cover it. I’d been to war, twice. I knew about risk and conflict. But having someone who was increasingly becoming the center of my universe morph into a wild animal, with the intention of serving no-holds-barred justice to other bloodthirsty wolves, I knew all too well the price he could pay. That’s one of the reasons I’d shut myself down so hard. I’d lost too many pieces of my heart already.

Since I’d never get my point across with words, I kissed him. Catching him off-guard, grabbing his chin, I went for it. Noses bumping, tongues searching, exploring like I was going to find something different from the last time I’d been here. He did taste different. Earthy, musky. Baron matched my intensity, his fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me closer until I crawled into his lap. The heat from his body seared my skin through our clothes. Once the frenzy subsided, both of us realized we were back in each other’s arms, and we found a rhythm. It wasn’t lazy or comfortable. If this kiss had a soundtrack, it would be speed metal, complete with the screaming singer and double bass drum.

We didn’t totally separate when the kiss was over. I rested my forehead against Baron’s, needing center. His fingers kneaded my scalp, and our lips moved, like the kiss didn’t stop just because we needed to catch our breath.

“I’m not good with talking about feelings and shit,” I said softly. I loved sitting in his lap. There weren’t many people in the world who could make me feel small, in a good way. Protected. Safe. I let go of his shoulders, bringing my fingers up into his hair. It would’ve been too easy to kiss him again, it was so much easier to get my point across that way. “But I’m really glad you’re safe.”

“You were all I could think about while I was in the forest.” Baron’s voice was raspy, like maybe he’d been the screaming singer belting out our theme song. “I couldn’t wait to get back to you.”

Our lips found each another again. Softer, more needy this time. All the questions were out of the way now and we could say what we really meant. We didn’t need words.

“You know, I still need a babysitter.” My eyelashes fluttered, my best attempt at flirting. Shit talking had always worked better for me. I spoke guy much better than I spoke girl, but this was worth a try.

“There’s no place else I’d rather be.” He traced my jawline, but his eyes flickered with worry, and I knew he wasn’t completely with me.

I looked back at the shelter door. “Do you think Shadow will shift soon?”

He frowned, worry furrowing in his forehead. “He has to. When we were kids, sometimes it didn’t go smoothly. When you’re growing and your body is going haywire, all bets are off. But that’s not the case with him.”

“He’s healing.” I hoped this didn’t mean he was hurt worse than we anticipated. Trina didn’t call the vet for him. I think she was embarrassed. The vet was a raging bitch, and there was no way to explain why the wolves were still at our shelter without blowing their cover.

“We all are.” I brought him back to me, we’d both been trying to see through the door. I knew what was happening in there. Trina sitting on the floor, next to Shadow, crying in his fur. It had to be killing him. “What do you want to do tonight? We can meet up with Lyssie and Dallas.”

“No,” Baron said before I had a chance to elaborate. “I want tonight to just be me and you.”

That’s exactly what I wanted. We headed back to our apartment. Lyssie and Dallas wouldn’t be back for another couple hours. They’d come back here, since the Channing brothers house had burned down while they were in captivity. They’d been staying with their mom since they’d been freed, when they weren’t with us. Now that Ryker was out of the picture, they could get their lives back together.