Promise Me (14 page)

“That was nice of you.”

“I guess,” I said as I handed Jerry his credit card slip and told him to have a good night. When I got back to Jack, I figured I’d change the subject before he pried any deeper into my past. “So where does your older cousin live now?”

Jack smiled. “He’s in Houston. None of us really went that far. We’re a close family.”

“Yeah, you said Logan is your best friend?”

He nodded as he took a bite of his sandwich and chewed.

“But you guys don’t live together?”

He swallowed as he shook his head. “Nah, Logan likes living at the Sigma Delt house, and I’d never do that. I much prefer the quiet of my apartment.”

“That seems like a thing for you,” I told him. “Liking the quiet.”

He sighed. “Yeah, well, before I lived with Aunt Deena and Uncle Rob, my life was sort of loud. I never liked it – all the yelling and the chaos and the frenetic energy. I didn’t even realize how much I hated it until it was gone, but now I relish peace and quiet when I can get it.”

As he was talking, I started to wonder what had happened to his parents and how he’d come to live with his aunt and uncle. But he hadn’t volunteered that information, and I knew it was too soon to ask. I also knew firsthand that sometimes people kept secrets for good reasons, and the last thing they wanted was to talk about things they’d rather keep hidden.

“I like the quiet too,” I told him, realizing that was another thing we had in common. “Our house was really small when I was growing up, and you couldn’t cough without someone hearing you. I much prefer being able to close the door and shut out the noise Sara’s making.”

Jack smiled. “Oh yeah? Is she loud?”

I shook my head in amusement. “Sometimes I’m not sure she has an off switch. Thank God for texting, because if she couldn’t communicate with her friends that way, I think she’d be on the phone non-stop.”

“And you have my roommates to deal with,” Jack reminded me.

“That’s true. They like to hang out in our living room a lot.”

“So I’ve heard. Though that might stop now that Micah lost his chance with your sister. He’s really pissed that she picked a pledge over him. He wanted to haze the shit out of him for it, but Cullen and I talked him down. It’s not the kid’s fault.”

“Kid?” I questioned around a laugh. “He’s not that much younger than you.”

Jack shrugged sheepishly. “I feel like he is. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just wise beyond my years.”

“Oh, are you now?”

“I had a shitty childhood. I had to grow up fast,” he said, throwing me for a loop. I’d imagined his life to be relatively perfect.

“But your life’s good now?” I questioned.

Jack grinned. “It’s freakin’ awesome.”

“So humble,” I teased him.

He shrugged. “I try. So how about you?”

“How about me what?” I questioned, not sure what he was talking about.

“Is your life awesome?” he asked as he shoved a few fries in his mouth.

“It’s good,” I told him noncommittally.

He eyed me skeptically as he swallowed. “Seriously?”

“What, you don’t believe me?” I challenged him, thankful when another service bar ticket came through, and I could busy myself making a margarita and a vodka tonic.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Jack told me as I pulled out the ingredients I’d need. “You’re just not exactly forthcoming with anything personal. I’ve told you practically everything about me, and I know nothing about you.”

“I’m your bartender,” I reminded him. “I don’t have to be forthcoming.”

“You’re more than my bartender, Kate.”

The way he said my name startled me, and I stopped what I was doing for a few seconds, not sure if I wanted to see the expression on his face. Of course when I finally worked up the courage to look, Jack was munching on his fries and not really paying me any attention. 

“Fine, I’m your server too,” I told him, mostly because I wanted to see what he’d say next.

Jack looked up from his food and narrowed his eyes at me. “I think we’re more than that. In fact, I’d go as far as considering us to be friends.”

“Really? You think we’re friends?”

He shrugged. “Sure. And if we’re not, I’d like us to be.”

“Yeah?”

He shrugged. “Sure, why not. You seem cool, and to be honest, ever since you told me that the redheaded waitress is your only friend here, I’ve felt a little bad for you.”

“You felt bad for me?” I asked incredulously as I set the two drinks I’d made in the service window, and Zeke, one of the servers came and got them, giving me a smile.

“Well, it sounded so pathetic,” Jack said teasingly. “Although, I think you have more friends than you realize. In fact, I think that guy wants to be your friend.”

“I just moved here,” I defended. “And which guy are you talking about?”

“The dark-haired server who just smiled at you, and when you turned around he completely checked out your ass.”

“Are you kidding me?” I asked, appalled that Zeke would be so blatant about that.

Jack shrugged. “It’s a nice ass. I can’t really blame the guy.”

“Oh, my God!” I said, covering my face with my hands as my cheeks started to heat. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

But Jack was laughing. “I’m kidding. I actually have no idea what your ass looks like, but I’m sure it’s very nice.”

I shook my head as I peered at him through my hands. “You are a complete flirt.”

“I’m just friendly. I have a girlfriend.”

“So you’ve said,” I said, dropping my hands once I felt my cheeks return to their normal color.

“It’s true. She’d be pissed if she thought I was flirting with another girl. She’s weird like that.”

“Uh, that’s not weird,” I said as I refilled his sweet tea and took his empty plate from him. “That’s completely normal. In fact, I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a girl who wouldn’t get pissed at her boyfriend for flirting with another girl.”

Jack waved me off. “I don’t mean real flirting,” he said, since apparently there was a difference. “I mean harmless side comments that could be construed as flirting. Alyssa hates that stuff, but it’s hard because I’m a naturally friendly guy.”

“So,
she
probably wouldn’t be okay with us being friends,” I ventured, bringing us full circle.

“I’m actually not sure. I don’t have a lot of friends who are girls here at UT.”

“But I made the cut?” I questioned.

“You’re different,” he told me, and it suddenly felt like he knew something I didn’t.

It was the way he said I was different. It was like he thought he knew me better than he should after only a handful of conversations, which didn’t make any sense.

“Different how?”

“You’re just different. You’re cool, and I’ve decided I like you – in a completely platonic, possibly brother-sister way. And if Alyssa has an issue with that, then she’ll have to get over it.”

“You’re strange Jack Kinsley,” I told him, realizing too late that he’d never told me his last name.

But for some reason, he didn’t call me out on it. Maybe he just assumed I knew a lot about him, since most people did. Maybe he was used to being the center of attention.

“I’m endearing,” he said instead. “And if you can’t already see that, you will soon enough.”

“Sounds like a fun challenge.”

He leaned forward on the bar. “Oh, come on Kate. You know you see it.”

“Are you looking for someone to stroke your ego?” I challenged him.

He grinned. “Always. But not really. What I am looking for is more information about you.”

“And why is that?” I asked him as two more beers orders came through the service bar.

I set to work making them as Jack answered me.

“We’re going to be friends, yet I know relatively nothing about you. Tell me something – anything.”

“What do you want to know?” I asked him as I slid an orange onto the rim of a glass of Blue Moon.

“Do you have a boyfriend back home?”

“Interesting question for someone who’s not flirting,” I teased him, knowing I was toeing a line in basically flirting back with him. I just couldn’t help it.

“I promise I’m not. I’m just naturally curious about people.”

“Right,” I said skeptically. “And no, I don’t have a boyfriend. I broke up with the guy I was seeing before I left Indiana.”

Jack rested his chin on his steepled hands. “Interesting. Why did you break up with him?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to be a psychologist?”

“Totally sure,” he assured me. “Now please answer the question.”

I sighed. “I wasn’t in love with him.”

“It was that simple for you to know?”

“It was simple enough that I knew I didn’t want to try long distance with him.”

Jack nodded. “Fair enough. I’ve never done long distance personally, but it doesn’t sound so great. Although Gunnar and his fiancée did it for a year, and they ended up fine. In fact, they’re getting married next month.”

“Well, I guess sometimes it works. I just knew it wouldn’t with Max and me. Besides, I knew in coming here I needed to focus on school. I couldn’t get bogged down with a guy.”

“So you’re not looking for a boyfriend,” he ventured.

I shook my head. “Not really. I’m just focusing on school right now.”

He nodded. “Got it. That’s smart. Although it can get kind of lonely.”

“I’m fine,” I assured him.

“Your bed must be so cold,” he said with teasing sympathy.

“My bed’s fine, and this conversation is starting to head to a bad place.”

“Man, are you picturing me naked?” he asked in mock-irritation. “Damn, that always happens to me.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “You are so egotistical. I’m not sure I want to be your friend.”

“You totally do,” Jack told me. “But I can see when I’m overstaying my welcome. I’ll take my check, and we can try another topic the next time I see you.”

“So, tomorrow in class, or will your girlfriend be there?” I asked, finding myself hoping she wouldn’t be as I took his credit card from him.

I knew that was so bad, but I
liked
our banter, and I knew it wouldn’t happen with Alyssa around. That probably should have been an indication that it was wrong, but I couldn’t help myself. It wasn’t like I’d ever act on anything I might be feeling. It just seemed like there was a sort of raw sexual tension between Jack and me that led me to think exactly what he’d accused me of. And it was all his fault. Why did he have to be so flirty?

And why did I have to like it so much?

“Nope, Lys won’t be there. She said she’s done with early mornings, but I think she just said that to not hurt my feelings. In actuality, your assessment was probably more spot-on. I really should shower more.”

I wanted to tell him that there was no need. He smelled kind of incredible, but there was no way I was going to utter those words. I’d take them to the grave before I’d hit on a guy who was taken. That wasn’t my style at all, and I hated girls who did that.

“Do me a favor and take one tomorrow morning,” I told him, instead of what I was thinking, as I handed him his credit card slip to sign. “If I’m going to be sitting next to you, I don’t want to have to breathe through my mouth the whole time.”

Jack looked up at me as he sighed his bill, smirking slightly. “Noted. I’ll shower but just because you asked so nicely.”

“Thank you,” I told him, hoping he didn’t go crazy with my tip again. Once was nice, but he couldn’t keep that up.

“No, thank
you
,” he told me. “Your company was a pleasure tonight.”

“As was yours,” I told him, figuring we were joking around again.

He winked at me as he slid off his barstool. “See you tomorrow, Kate.”

“Bye Jack,” I told him, and then I shamelessly watched him walk away, checking out his ass the whole time.

I was such a hypocrite.

Chapter Eight

Jack

“Aunt Deena?” I called out as I stepped into the foyer and dropped my duffle bag on the hardwood floor.

“Jack?” she called back. “Is that you?”

I started toward the family room, where I thought she was, but before I could make it very far, she came around the corner with a wide smile on her face and threw her arms wide for me to step into them. I towered over her these days, so I leaned down to hug her when I reached her.

“I had no idea you were coming home this weekend,” she chastised me in her thick accent as she squeezed me tight.

Aunt Deena had always been a hugger, and it had taken me a few months to get used to it – at least the way she hugged. Growing up, my mother had hugged me, but most of the time it felt like she did it out of fear – fear that she would lose me, fear that she couldn’t protect me, and fear that we just weren’t safe in our house. And we weren’t, so maybe her fears were right. But Aunt Deena hugged you because she was happy or she loved you or she was glad to see you. There was no fear behind her affection, and it had been so foreign to me at first.

In fact the whole experience of living with my aunt and uncle and cousins had been completely foreign at first. Not only was I trying to work through what had happened with my parents, but I was living in a completely different state, with people I’d never even known existed until my Aunt Deena had shown up at the police station to claim me. She’d known who I was, even though I never knew my mother had a sister. As far as I was aware, I didn’t have any family outside of my parents.

But when Aunt Deena saw me for the first time she’d teared up, and her hand had covered her mouth as she’d whispered my name. I didn’t recognize her. I only knew who she was because the woman from social services had told me my aunt was coming to get me. When she’d said that, I’d been in a relative state of numbness, since I’d just learned what my father had done and that my mother was gone. I didn’t even bother telling her that I didn’t have an aunt. I figured it was a mistake that would be sorted out once the woman she was talking about arrived and realized she wasn’t related to me
1
– which didn’t end up happening.

Aunt Deena knew me. She knew who I was, and she told me I looked so much like my mother in a choked up voice as her eyes had filled with tears that she’d tried to not let fall. Then she asked if she could hug me. I let her, because even though I would have sworn on a stack of bibles that I didn’t have an aunt, she looked like my mother. And at that point, a part of me was just grateful to know that I wasn’t as alone as I’d been feeling in the hours since I’d learned of my mother’s death. Someone wanted me, someone was glad to see me, and that someone looked so much like my mother that it comforted me in a way I hadn’t known possible.

And when she told me she was going to take me back to Texas with her, I didn’t fight it, because truthfully, I couldn’t imagine going home after what had happened. I’d always hated our trailer, especially when my father was home. And here was a kind, loving woman who knew me, who knew my mother, and who wanted to take me to a place far away from the house of horrors my dad had left behind. I didn’t question it for a second.

I wasn’t sure how she arranged for us to leave almost immediately, but somehow she did, and we went directly from the police station to the airport. Aunt Deena didn’t say much on the flight to Texas. She just kept looking over at me and asking me if I needed anything. We were in first class, so I could have had anything I wanted, but nothing really sounded all that appealing. So I just told her I was fine.

I’d never been on an airplane before, but as the reality of what had happened started to sink in, I couldn’t even bother to embrace the experience. I was numb to almost everything going on around me, and aside from direct questions I was asked, I didn’t say a word. But Aunt Deena didn’t push me. She let me be, probably because she knew what I was feeling.

I learned later that she had a sixth sense about that. She could read people well, and she always knew when something was wrong. But more than that, she always knew when to push and when to leave things be. She was kind of awesome in that way.

The first few days with my new family were the hardest, because everything was completely overwhelming. Not only was I living in a house that was larger than any I’d ever seen in person, but I had a room to myself that was almost the size of our trailer, and I had my own bathroom. I was afraid to venture too far around the house for fear of getting lost, and I wasn’t sure if I could just take the food that was in the refrigerator if I was hungry.

But Aunt Deena made me a part of the family from the start, and so did my cousins and my Uncle Rob. They acted like I’d always been there. They didn’t stare or ask invasive questions or make me feel like I was the unwanted, white trash cousin. They acted like I was family, which was exactly what I needed. I’d never been more grateful in my life to be around people that cared about me.

I wasn’t always sure what to do or how to act, and I had a few breakdowns that I knew Gunnar and Logan weren’t sure how to handle, but they never made fun of me for anything. Even when I didn’t know how to use the icemaker on the front of the refrigerator or when I had to ask which toilet to use, because there seemed to be two of them – one was a bidet – no one ever laughed or teased me. They just answered my questions, and we moved on as if nothing odd had happened.

It was probably why I’d taken to living with them so quickly. School and mainstream life were a different story, but with cousins who asked me to play video games with them and watch TV and swim in the pool, with an aunt who smiled at me and hugged me and told me how glad she was that I was there, and with an uncle who didn’t ever yell, who praised his sons when they did well in school or sports, and who taught me how to catch a football, I found comfort and safety in a place I’d always feared. My new home became my sanctuary.

Growing up, I’d hated going home. It was why I’d stayed out as much as I could, playing and exploring with Kate, or just hanging out at her house. I only went home when I had to, and even then, the fear my dad had instilled in us was all around. It was in the expression on my mother’s face, it was in the command in which she told me to clean up my dishes or pick up my room, and it was in the sound of the front door slamming when he finally stumbled home, drunk and angry and so violent that all I wanted to do was cover my ears with my hands.

Nothing about my aunt and uncle’s house was like that. There was kindness, love, humor, and above all else, support. That family loved each other so damn much, and I couldn’t have been luckier that they’d wanted to take me in and love me too. They couldn’t have had any idea what it meant to me and how thankful I was for each of them.

It was probably why I made so many regular trips home to see Aunt Deena and Uncle Rob.  Although Gunnar lived close by, he only came home when he had to, and Logan never wanted to make the drive from Austin. But I knew how hard it had been for my aunt to have all of her boys leave the house, and I wanted to alleviate some of the empty nest feelings she’d experienced.

I’d been at home for two years after Logan left. We were only a year apart in age, but I’d had to repeat the seventh grade, so I was two years behind him in school. When I’d left for college the year before, my aunt had cried and hugged me for what felt like ten minutes. She loved to take care of people, and I knew my moving to Austin would leave behind a huge void. She no longer had anyone but my uncle to cook meals for, she didn’t have anyone to watch play football on Friday nights, and there wouldn’t be a houseful of guys hanging out on the weekends that she could make snacks for.

I honestly felt guilty for leaving, but I knew I didn’t have a choice. So I promised I’d come back as much as I could, and I’d kept that promise for the past year. And true to form, Aunt Deena always looked thrilled to see me whenever I walked in the door.  

“Hi Aunt Deena,” I said as she continued to hug me.

She pulled back but kept me at arm’s length, inspecting me. “Are you getting enough sleep?”

I nodded. “Yes ma’am.”

She smiled. “Are you getting enough food? Are you eating right?”

I smiled sheepishly, not able to lie to her. “For the most part.”

She shook her head. “You boys and your pizza. I swear Logan’s always considered it to be its own food group.”

“He still does,” I told her, remembering the pizza Logan and I had shared a few days earlier. “That and barbecue.”

“You are so right,” she said, hooking her arm with mine. “Come on. I’ll make you a snack.”

“I’m actually okay,” I told her. “I grabbed McDonalds on my drive.”

“McDonalds?” Aunt Deena scoffed, shaking her head. “That’s not a meal.”

“I like it,” I told her, and she sighed.

She knew I had a soft spot for McDonalds. Growing up, it had been one of the few places where we could afford to eat out, and every year on my birthday, my mom had taken me there for a happy meal. To me it had been the best treat in the world, and I always looked forward to it. Years later it still reminded me of her, but I also liked that it was cheap and fast and just plain good.

“Well, tonight I’m making pork chops, so at least you’ll have one solid meal today.”

“Thanks Aunt Deena,” I said with a smile as she led me into the kitchen, and I grabbed a seat on one of the barstools while she headed over to the fridge.

“Do you want some sweet tea?”

“I’d love some,” I said with an even bigger smile. “Although, I think I’ve been drinking a little too much of it lately. I’m probably going to get a gut.”

Aunt Deena laughed. “I highly doubt that.”

She was probably right. I worked out enough to make the calories I consumed not really matter, but I was worried I’d developed an addiction to the sweet tea at Ray’s. Or maybe it was the girl who served it that had me so keen on stopping in there a few times a week and throwing back three or four sweet teas while she talked to me and I tried to come up with the right way to tell her who I was.

After two weeks, I’d yet to find a brilliant way to spring that information on Kate, but regardless of our hidden past, it was fairly apparent that we were becoming friends in the present.

And that was okay for now, because I was enjoying the hell out of getting to know her again. I liked so much about her, and although I could see traces of who she’d been when we were kids, I liked the woman she’d become so much more. She was still smart and studious, and I could tell she worked hard at everything she did, but she was also funny, she made me laugh, and I could tell that the weight she’d carried around years earlier was gone.

She didn’t have the burdens she’d once had, and she seemed truly happy. I knew she still worried about her sister, and that would probably never go away, but she gave Sara space to be her own person, and she tried to let go. What I liked most about her, though, was that she just seemed so confident in who she was. I’d seen her kindly but firmly put flirtatious men in their place when they took things too far, and I saw her go toe-to-toe with bitchy women who thought they could push her around just because she was a waitress.

She was kind of a dynamic badass when she had to be, and she carried herself in a way that said she knew who she was. I didn’t think she’d known that years before, mostly because she’d had to play so many roles for her family. She couldn’t just be a kid. But now she could, and I felt lucky to get to see that playful, confident, really awesome side of her.

Of course, when I was around her, there was always a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that reminded me I was holding onto a pretty big secret where she was concerned. I knew I had to tell her eventually, but it had been harder to work up the courage than I’d imagined. Part of me was afraid of what she’d say when she found out, and that fear only grew as we got to know each other better. I liked having her in my life too much to risk our new found friendship.

“I don’t know. I might have an addiction,” I told my aunt. “I’ve been going to Ray’s a lot this semester.”

Aunt Deena laughed as she pulled the iced tea pitcher from the refrigerator. “Well, I can understand why. They have the best sweet tea and barbecue around.”

As a family we’d been going to Ray’s for years. Every time my aunt and uncle came to Austin, we went there, and we’d been honoring that tradition since we’d all dropped Gunnar off at the start of his freshman year, six years earlier. It was just ingrained in who I was to like Ray’s, I supposed, which was probably why Logan and I continued to go there on Sundays for football.

I felt my cheeks flush as I thought back to the Sunday everything had changed and said, “They do, and considering they won’t serve me beer anymore, I haven’t really had an option but to order tea.”

“Did your fake ID finally fail you?” Aunt Deena questioned as she put my tea in front of me and stood on the other side of the kitchen sink with her own glass.

“You know about that?” I asked as I felt my face get hot, realizing too late what I’d said.

Our family had always been fairly honest about the fact that even though one of us might not be twenty-one, we still drank. However, the fact that I drank as much as I did or that I used illegal means to buy beer wasn’t something I usually flaunted. I probably shouldn’t have said anything to my aunt about not getting served, but I hadn’t been thinking. My mind had been on Kate, and I’d forgotten who I was talking to.