Professor Gargoyle (2 page)

After the marching band had finished playing, Principal Slater directed the students to find their lockers and then proceed to their homerooms.

As the bleachers emptied, Robert moved nimbly through the crowd, careful to stay several steps ahead of Glenn Torkells.

He noticed a girl hurrying alongside him.

Looking at him.

She was short and skinny, dressed in a white T-shirt and blue jeans and carrying a beat-up skateboard. She had dark brown hair that fell past her shoulders and wore a dozen jangling bracelets on her wrists. She smiled, revealing a mouthful of metal braces.

“You’ve got worms in your hair,” she said.

“Excuse me?”

“Gummy worms. In your scalp.”

Robert reached up and shook them loose. “Thanks.”

“You’re gonna have to stand up to him.”

“Stand up to who?”

“You know who.”

Robert flushed. Was there anything more embarrassing than getting advice on bullies from a cute girl?

“Glenn and I are friends,” Robert quickly explained. “That’s just a stupid game we play. I owed him two dollars from the other night.”

“He called it a dweeb tax.”

“See, that’s part of the game.”

The girl wasn’t buying it, Robert could tell.

“I’m Karina,” she said. “Karina Ortiz.”

“Robert Arthur.”

“I know,” she said. “I heard him taunting you.”

“He wasn’t taunting me.”

“Friends don’t throw chewed-up gummy worms in
your hair,” she said. “I was there. I watched the whole thing.”

“Well, maybe next time you should mind your own business.”

The words came out louder than Robert intended. Karina raised both hands in a defensive gesture, like he’d just come at her with his fists. “Hey, suit yourself,” she said. “You just looked like you needed a friend, that’s all.”

Karina dropped her skateboard to the asphalt, pushed off with one foot, and quickly zoomed away from him, swerving around the other students with remarkable balance and precision.

Almost immediately, Robert wished he could apologize and somehow take the words back. But it was too late. Karina was the first friendly person to approach him at Lovecraft Middle School, and he’d managed to scare her away.

He followed the crowd of students up the stairs and into the central corridor of the school, a frenzy of color and sound and energy.

Instead of bulletin boards, the hallways of Lovecraft
Middle School featured large high-definition LCD screens with animated announcements of soccer tryouts and chorus practice. Sleek metal lockers lined the walls; instead of old-fashioned combination dials, they had ten-button digital touch pads. Up and down the hallway, kids were lining up to stow their backpacks and lunches.

Robert walked to his locker—A119—and entered the passcode he’d received in the mail. Each button made a satisfying chirp when he pressed it, and then the locker door opened with a gentle pneumatic
whooooosh
.

In the distance, Robert heard a girl shriek, but he thought nothing of it. Girls in sixth and seventh grade were always shrieking about something or another.

His new locker was divided by a metal shelf into two sections. There was a tall bottom section with a hook where he could hang his coat and a short top section, near the air vents, where he could store his brown-bag lunch.

Robert studied the top section and blinked.

Perched on the shelf, twitching its nose, was a large white rat.

Elsewhere in the hallway, another girl screamed. Then another, and another. A teacher yelled, “Get back!” and Robert felt something brush past his legs. He stumbled away from the locker as the white rat sprang toward him, landing on his chest and leapfrogging over his shoulder.

“Get it off me!” someone shouted.

“There’s another one!”

“It’s in my hair!”

More rats brushed past his feet—there were dozens now, darting under sneakers, gnashing their teeth, squealing and snarling and stampeding down the hall.

Up until this moment, Robert’s life had been fairly quiet and ordinary. He had the same interests and hobbies as a million other twelve-year-old boys. He spent his days in school; he spent his nights doing homework and messing around on the computer. He’d never experienced anything that might have prepared him for a swarm of wild rats.

Yet while the rest of his classmates were freaking out, Robert remained calm.

He understood he had just two choices: He could scream and panic like the rest of his classmates. Or he could sit tight for a few moments and hope the rats would charge toward the nearest exit.

Which is exactly what happened. The stampede reached the open doors at the end of the hallway and fanned out across the lush green lawns surrounding the school. The students watched after them, awestruck.

“I don’t believe it,” said the boy standing next to Robert. “They spend a trillion dollars building this place and it’s already full of rats? How’s that possible?”

Good question, Robert thought.

He knelt to study the inside of his locker. The metal walls and floors were intact; there were no gaps or cracks or holes. There were no places where a rat might have squeezed its way into his locker.

Robert knew middle school would be strange, but this was ridiculous.

Incredibly, the strangest part of Robert’s first day at Lovecraft Middle School was yet to come.

Most of his teachers were very nice. His American History teacher promised a class trip to Philadelphia, where students would tour the National Constitution Center. His Mathematics teacher demonstrated a neat trick for adding large numbers without a calculator or even a pencil. And all of his teachers boasted about the school’s extraordinary new facilities. They claimed Lovecraft Middle School was the most environmentally responsible school on the East Coast; much of the building was constructed from recycled materials. They seemed like good teachers who were proud to be
working in a good school.

Then Robert went to Science.

As soon as he arrived, he noticed Glenn Torkells seated on the far side of the classroom. Robert ducked his head and grabbed a desk near the door.

There was no sign of a teacher, but the students had plenty to admire while they waited: chemistry flasks and beakers and enough test tubes to stock a mad scientist’s laboratory. At the front of the classroom was a life-size model of a human skeleton. In the back were a dozen aquariums housing tropical fish, lizards, a hamster, and other small animals.

The seventh-period bell rang and still no teacher arrived. Robert’s classmates continued to chat away, but the mood had changed. Something was wrong.

He checked his class schedule.

He was in the correct room at the correct time.
But where was Mrs. Kinski?

The girl on Robert’s left turned to him. “I think you should go to the principal’s office,” she said. “Tell them we’re waiting for a teacher.”

“Me?” Robert asked.

“Don’t listen to her,” said the girl sitting on his right. “She likes to boss people around.”

“I do not.”

“Do too.”

Robert looked from left to right and back again. Both girls had fair skin and long red hair. They looked so similar, they could have been sisters.

In fact, they looked virtually identical.

“Wait a second,” he said. “Are you two—”

“Twins,” they said simultaneously, almost sighing, as if they were tired of answering the question.

“Cool,” he said, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say. “I’m Robert.”

The girls didn’t bother to introduce themselves.

Suddenly the door to the classroom swung open and Robert looked up, expecting to see Mrs. Kinski.

Instead there was an old man, tall and gnarled and dressed in a jacket and tie. He seemed surprised to find the classroom full of students. His cold blue eyes surveyed the desks, taking everything in. He did not blink.

“Good afternoon,” he finally said. His voice was rich and deep and smooth as polished wood. “I hope you’ll forgive my tardiness.”

He lumbered toward the front of the classroom and laid a worn leather satchel on his desk. Without a word, he turned to the blackboard, picked up a piece of chalk, and began scratching some notes:

Robert watched in astonishment with the rest of his class. “Excuse me?”

The teacher whirled around. “Yes, young man?”

Robert immediately regretted opening his mouth, but someone had to ask the obvious question. “What about Mrs. Kinski?”

“Kinski?” The teacher scrutinized Robert through his bushy eyebrows. “Kinski, Kinski. Why does that name sound familiar?”

Robert held up his class schedule. “It says she’s teaching seventh-period science. Here. In Room 213.”

“You mean the substitute! Of course! Mrs. Kinski is one of our many wonderful substitute instructors. She’d been assigned to cover my duties while I was, ah, recovering. From illness. But as you can see I’m feeling perfectly fine, so her services are no longer required. I am Professor Garfield Goyle and
I
will be your seventh-grade science teacher.”

Robert had seen some kooky teachers over the years, but this guy was far and away the strangest. Professor Goyle didn’t even bother to take attendance. He just turned back to the chalkboard and began sketching an anatomical drawing of a rat skeleton. It was extremely detailed and took him the better part of ten
minutes. He drew forcefully and furiously, and several times the chalk snapped in his grip.

When the drawing was finally complete, he labeled the bones one at a time—the sternum, the scapula, the tibia, the thoracic vertebrae …

One of the twins raised her hand.

“Excuse me, Mr. Goyle?”

He didn’t turn around. “
Professor
Goyle.”