Pride & Princesses (19 page)
‘Hot.’ We both clap our hands like we are Mouche’s fan club. ‘We are so glad we’re not going with you,’ I whisper under my breath. Scott was not exactly my dream man.
‘Now’, I said to Wednesday after Mouche vacated, ‘I’m going to put on this DVD of Mouche and I singing songs in first grade, you’ll just love it... and we can practise all the words after we’ve watched it.’
Of course, Wednesday sang along for about ten minutes and I danced around with her but after all the face painting exertion, she wound up asleep in the corduroy beanbag in front of the television. I moved her out of the way of the radiation and looked up to see Trey rifling through a drawer in the kitchen.
‘Hey Phoebe, has Mouche just left you guys here?’
‘Yeah, it’s okay, I promised your mom I’d wait until she comes home. My mom is coming home soon...she has a late showing.’ My mom was busy selling a house three streets away.
‘Okay, if you’re sure it’s alright. You are really good with her...’
‘Uh...thanks.’ I smile. Trey is looking super hot. What a shame he is an older man and totally annoying. He thinks he’s going to be a band manager as well as a doctor.
‘...So?’ I asked Trey.
‘Huh?’
‘Forget something?’ I said with a smile.
‘Oh, I’m just trying to find my car keys...’
‘I think they’re in the fruit bowl...’
‘Oh,’ he says, grinning at me all white toothed and handsome. Gosh, he’s almost as good-looking as Mark Knightly, and because he’s older, he might even be hotter.
Mouche and I took Trey’s car for a spin once when he was studying. He didn’t even notice it was gone until after we arrived home. Trey is so busy studying and trying to promote his band that the more important things in life, like having some serious fun, might just bypass him if he’s not careful.
‘I love your aftershave,’ I say, really sarcastically.
He looks so embarrassed and Wednesday stirs and mumbles, ‘after-wave’ and Trey looks uncomfortable and says, ‘see ya’ in a confused manner and hurries out the door.
‘If a man is hesitant around you, don’t imagine you’ve reeled him in. He may just be unsure whether or not he wants to make the first move. And a man should always make the first move. And really, girls, do you want a man who doesn’t think enough of you to make the first move?’
Oh,
Mrs Robinson
can just shut up for the next day or so. I totally enjoyed making Trey cringe. Honestly, my new found confidence and all those old dating guides are working wonders.
As Wednesday slept, I wrote up the
Boy-Rating
guide with the events of the day and the plan for the following month. Mouche and I are big on planning.
But when it came time to put pen to diary paper, all I could think to write about my ‘date’ was:
Date with Matt the UCLA older man – possibility- didn’t occur
Rating 3/10
Items for the treasure chest: silver pen.
Possible Date with Mark Knightly – My saviour!!!
Rating 6/10 – it didn’t really happen, but he still managed to be in the right place at the right time. Yay! Thus far has revealed an arrogant nature with little regard for the feelings and schedule of others (i.e. me).
Items for treasure chest locker: the receipt for my drink (doesn’t really count).
I think I was sleepy by then because when I woke up it was morning and Mouche was lying on the floor next to Wednesday on the couch in front of the television. Breakfast News was playing. My mom had left me a note saying when she came by we were asleep and Mrs Mouche was home and she was going to come around at 9am to have breakfast with us. I’d looked so happy dozing and needed my rest.
Trish was busy with her own life so she probably didn’t notice
The Boy Rating Diary
lay open on the floor on page nine (The first eight pages were filled with notes taken from various guides – mostly
Mrs Robinson’s
and
Mrs Jones’
since they were our favourites). The notes included sub-headings (that might be of use to younger sisters such as Wednesday when she’s older) with topics such as:
•
Boyzamples (examples of familiar boy-types i.e.: academic, sporty, emo etc)
•
How to behave on dates
•
Likes / dislikes of future men
•
Targeted potential boy candy and
•
Items needed for your journey; be it New York, Los Angeles or Paris
The first page gave our mission statement:
This is the work of Phoebe Anderson and Mouche Macintosh.
Phoebe wants to be a Broadway singer, dancer, actress. Mouche: a brilliant lawyer. We want to help others as well as ourselves. This is our expose of the pre-men and women of Sunrise High (and a few random adults) starting with the Princesses and moving on down the list of pre-men prototypes we have or intend to date.
What follows is our advice, gleaned from hundreds of hours of research. We hope our experiences can shed light on yours...
After my notes on date one, Mouche added hers when she arrived home:
Date 3: Mouche and Scott
2/10
Identifying factors: his mother drove us everywhere
Job and personality: student, primary focus; science fair
Kisses: one on hand
Items gained: A feather (also disguised as a pen)
Possibility of re-date: none (hopefully)
*Date 2 Mouche...continued (notes):
‘Everything that could possibly be humiliating and bad about a date happened on this one...first of all, his mom came with us, which I thought was bizarre at first, but then it was okay. Scott’s mom was dressed like a hippie but it turns out we had a lot in common (we all liked pizza) so it wasn’t too bad. In fact it was preferable to talking to Scott as he didn’t have anything to say. It was also really sweet when she made her son open my door for me. I thought it was cute that she was teaching him to be chivalrous even if some people think it’s old-fashioned. Up until then he hadn’t spoken until we walked past the penguin enclosure...’
‘I hope you don’t mind my mom coming. It’s just that...it’s her car and she doesn’t trust me to drive it.’
Wow is this supposed to make me feel secure in his arms? Wait a minute, I’m not even in his arms...
Then he says, ‘after dinner let’s leave her in the gift shop and go make out...’
‘Are you serious? It would be a bit rude leaving your mom like that...’
He’s starting to seem less like a nerd and more than a little undutiful...worst date ever except for the baby animal zoo where I got to feed a lot of different species and Scott’s mom, who used to be a vet, explained loads of interesting stuff to me. I think I will introduce her to my mom and Trish. She told me she her husband just ran off with a woman he met online.
Is there something in the water of Sunrise? I shouldn’t be too hard on Scott. He must have immediate family tensions. Give him an extra point. Prompt arrival home at 8pm – Phoebe and Wednesday were asleep on the couch. We picked up Wednesday and I’m writing this while you were sleeping. Can’t wait for the Fall Fling. This was just for practice.
First planned dates are always just for practise. Onwards and upwards, Mrs Mouche always says. ‘Night.
Chapter 11
The Cast List
‘Also, his mom was driving,’ Mouche said as we walked through our school corridor on Monday after lunch, on our way to check the cast list for
Rocco and Julie: A Teen Tragedy!
Teegan, Tory, Brooke and Freya glared at us from behind their lockers. Their looks said it all; don’t even think you’re going to beat us to the leading roles.
‘I need to speak to you,’ Teegan said to Mouche, ‘it’s about a certain crumpled piece of paper you left near the Century City sushi bar...’
‘I’ll have to check my schedule, Teegan, to see when I’m free. Maybe I can pencil you in. Meanwhile, I wouldn’t talk about what I’d read, if I were you...’
‘Is that a threat?’
‘No, it’s a warning...’ Mouche replied.
There was, as you’ve already heard, some serious history and a buzz going around that Mouche and I had already been asked to the Fall Fling by Jet and Mark. The rumor about Teegan and Tory going with them was just that.
The Princesses were on the warpath.
‘We know you are up to something,’ Teegan accused Mouche.