Pride, Prejudice & Secrets (31 page)

“I did not have to, Aunt. He noticed it and immediately became intensely concerned because his mother died in childbirth. He wanted to leave me alone for fear of causing harm, but I would not hear of it. We Bennet girls may have our faults, but I suspect I will have no more problem than my mother.”

Aunt Gardiner nodded. “That is certainly true. So, there will be a child at Pemberley. Let me think: it will likely be around the end of January or the beginning of February.”

“Likely so, Aunt, though William and I have not decided whether to remain at Pemberley or return to town.”

“I would advise a return to town. Your husband’s physician seems not only competent but quite unlike the usual type.”

“He came to see me when I was sick at Charlotte’s house, but I do not really remember him. William thinks very highly of him.”

“And if you return to town, I will be available to provide what help I can.”

“Of course, my mother will likely not leave my side for three months, but I suppose that is a burden I shall have to bear. Even if Jane has a child before me, Mama will not be able to hold him.”

“And I should not care to get between your mother and her first grandchild!” Mrs. Gardiner said fervently.

“I would advise against it, Aunt!” Elizabeth said, imagining the scene in her mind.

On that note of mutually shared but compassionate humour, aunt and niece moved to less serious topics and confined their conversation to the wonders of this lovely estate in the summer.

Thursday, August 6, 1812: Pemberley, Derbyshire

Darcy stood silently at the window of his library, watching Elizabeth and her aunt return to the house, walking arm in arm as they talked and laughed gaily. He felt a familiar tightness in his throat at this additional proof of her happiness in her new life. He worried about that, even though she often asserted that she was simply not formed for such melancholy as sometimes afflicted him. He was convinced she was correct; her every action showed that she was almost incapable of being anything other than cheerful in most situations and not just in the bosom of her family.

She is not like me at all in that respect,
he mused gloomily.
Shall I ever be able to rid myself of these dismal thoughts and moods? I have achieved my dream, and still I cannot find ease; always I worry, especially now that she carries my child. No matter how many times she assures me of the sturdiness of her mother, I remember that nightmarish morning when I felt my mother’s cold cheek and realized what death is.

He felt a presence and found Mr. Gardiner standing beside him, looking benignly at his wife and niece in such a harmonious association.

“It appears you have made my niece quite happy, sir,” Mr. Gardiner told Darcy, who never took his eyes off Elizabeth.

“I hope so, sir. I am certainly trying my best.”

“And succeeding. Do not doubt it for a moment. Lizzy can conceal her emotions at times, but she is hard pressed to do so when she is in good spirits. Then her inner self usually shows clearly on her face.”

“I thought as much, but I am not yet able to read her as you seem to,” Darcy said seriously. “She is so very dear to me.”

“We know,” Mr. Gardiner said. “We know,” and he returned to his chair and his book.

Darcy remained at the window, and though the two ladies had disappeared from his sight, he was not aware they had returned to the house until he heard Elizabeth from the doorway. “So, Mr. Darcy, I hope I do not find you in thrall to another of your moods?”

“You do.” Darcy turned to her and smiled as she and her aunt walked into the library. “But that is only because I did not have you beside me to keep me in good cheer.”

“Oh, very good, sir! Very good indeed! That is the third compliment I have solicited from you already this day. You are learning quickly, very quickly indeed.”

“The first two compliments I offered without any reminder from you, my dear,” Darcy said loftily, lifting his nose in the air, and Elizabeth laughed lightly before coming to his side and standing on tiptoe for his kiss to her cheek, placing her hands on his forearms to steady herself.

“You are indeed correct, sir, as always.” She was pleased to see his eyes brighten at the touch, another of the intricacies of this man.

Mrs. Gardiner watched the interaction with great interest, wondering whether her husband saw what she did.
Probably so,
she thought.
Knowing Elizabeth the way we both do, he must see she is not even aware of how she pressed herself against Darcy when he bent to kiss her cheek. While this is a gathering of close family, such a display of affection is still unusual. I suppose I can stop hoping that Lizzy will find something more than mere satisfaction with her husband; she has already found what I hoped for her even if she cannot yet put a name on it!

“So, Mrs. Gardiner, did you enjoy your tour?” Darcy asked as Elizabeth tucked her arm through his elbow. “Touring Pemberley can be a hard business even in a carriage.”

“It was gruelling, sir,” Mrs. Gardiner said, laughing, “but Lizzy was the perfect guide. She never pushed me beyond my limits. But now, Mr. Gardiner, I must ask about your fishing expedition. You certainly set off bravely enough, but how did you fare?”

“We cut quite a swath through the aquatic population, my dear, but I do not think our depredations made even a dent in their numbers. His streams are quite full, and Mr. Darcy says that we may try again tomorrow or the next day. But I suspect we are unlikely to reduce their numbers in any meaningful way.”

“The trout are so numerous that they are making life quite difficult for the insect population here at Pemberley,” Darcy said. “I have often sat beside one of the streams with Elizabeth, making bets on whether any given grasshopper would make it to the other side without being snatched by a leaping trout.”

“Do
not
make that bet with him, Uncle,” cautioned Elizabeth. “Make him bet the grasshopper
will
make it across. I was not as careful, and I owed him more than five pounds before I realized he was taking advantage of me!”

“Thank you for the warning,” her uncle responded with a smile. “But that reminds me, Mr. Darcy. We have not seen your sister today, and I was going to beseech her to play for us again.”

“She is studying her French with Mrs. Annesley for another half-hour yet,” Darcy said, consulting his watch. “Perhaps I might interest you in a game of billiards while we wait?”

“Do not bet with him on that either, Uncle,” Elizabeth said. “He was incautious enough to allow me to observe him one evening, and I can attest that he is devilishly good.”

“Now, Elizabeth,” Darcy said. “You know your father gave me as much as I could handle. He even won a couple of pounds from me.”

“Hah! You did not exert yourself to the fullest, William; you wanted him to enjoy himself here. I
know
how good you are.”

“Actually, I have a certain dexterity myself, Lizzy,” her uncle said. “I think I will be able to give Mr. Darcy a challenge.”

“You have been warned, Uncle,” she told him, shaking her head. “But might I have a word with you, William, before you relieve my uncle of his spare currency?”

“Certainly, my dear,” Darcy said, smiling at her teasing before he walked over to the window for some privacy.

“While I was driving through the park with my aunt,” she said softly, “she asked me if I had told you that I was with child.”

Darcy raised his eyebrows in surprise, and she continued. “She guessed just by looking at me. I did not think it showed, but I begin to think I am deceiving myself. Perhaps we might consider informing Georgiana before she guesses.”

“Perhaps so,” Darcy said thoughtfully, then nodded firmly in decision. “You can tell her if you wish after she finishes her lessons.”

“Very well, I will do so. And you may inform my uncle if you wish.”

“And Mrs. Reynolds?” Darcy asked with a smile.

“She knows as well as you and my aunt, but until I inform her that the child has quickened, she will say nothing. It just is not done, you know. She is a dear, and she reminds me of Mrs. Hill at Longbourn, who would likely say the same thing.”

“True, true. However, imagine how difficult it would be at Pemberley without such loyal employees.”

“It would be near impossible,” she said seriously then cocked her head at him thoughtfully. “In fact, it would be almost as impossible as it would be to imagine how you could come to pick such an unlikely person as myself to be your wife. Everything is so grand: you, your fortune, your home, your sister, your relations…”

“Except Lady Catherine, of course.”

“Of course, but that is another reason I cannot stop thinking that I am an imposter who is going to be discovered and exposed at any moment.”

Darcy leaned close and whispered softly into her ear, “If you can think of any way we can retire early, I will demonstrate one of the reasons you are the perfect wife for such a man as myself.”

“You are incorrigible!”

“And I will never change.”

“I should hope not.” She rose to her toes to kiss his cheek. “And I believe my aunt and uncle will understand if we simply disappear after supper. So, yes, I would be happy to have you demonstrate whatever you want.”

She reached up to cup his cheek tenderly and said softly, “I love you so very much, William. I shall never get enough of you.”

Darcy managed to smile, though his heart felt in his throat, and finally said, “I am sure you will tire of me eventually, and we will settle in and become a comfortable old married couple like Lord and Lady Matlock.”

“I think not,” smiled Elizabeth. “And I also wonder whether your aunt and uncle might surprise you.”

Friday, August 14, 1812: Pemberley, Derbyshire

“…and of course, you remember Elizabeth’s aunt and uncle from London, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Gardiner.”

“From the wedding, of course!” Bingley exclaimed enthusiastically, bowing to each of them. “It is wonderful to see both of you again! And I am accompanied by my sisters, Miss Caroline Bingley and Mrs. Hurst, as well as my brother, Mr. Hurst.”

After greetings were exchanged, the ladies and the men drifted into different groups by unspoken agreement, and Bingley continued in the same eager vein. “Will you be joining us for grouse shooting, Mr. Gardiner?”

“I think not, Mr. Bingley,” Mr. Gardiner replied with a laugh. “Darcy and I have made several determined assaults on the multitude of fish in his lake and streams, but I have never hunted.”

“Never hunted?” Mr. Hurst said in surprise. “Most extraordinary!”

“Not particularly for a man in my occupation, Mr. Hurst,” Mr. Gardiner said mildly. “My business keeps me quite busy, and even finding time to indulge my passion for fishing is often difficult.”

Mr. Hurst looked at Mr. Gardiner doubtfully and might have said more, but Darcy immediately recognized the awkwardness of the moment. “You are most welcome to join us, Gardiner. The grouse have been left to proliferate much as the trout have done, and the shooting is always excellent. I have enough fowling pieces to outfit you.”

“Many thanks, but I have never fired any type of gun. All in all, I think it would be safer for both the grouse and the hunters if I confine my participation to observing.”

“Very well, then,” Darcy said with a smile. “If you do not mind, I will still bring along a few extra pieces in case you change your mind.”

“I would not mind having a go at the trout, Darcy,” Bingley said with his usual enthusiasm.

“The Gardiners will be staying for another three or four days, so we can plan another fishing expedition or two.”

“You are spoiling me, sir,” Mr. Gardiner said. “I shall not be content to attend to my business with all the memories of the wonderful fishing here.”

“That will simply make you more anxious to return,” Darcy said. “Mr. Bennet has an open invitation to raid my library any time he can find the time, and I will extend the same invitation to you to raid the trout population.”

“Done, sir!” Mr. Gardiner exclaimed happily, and the conversation shifted to plans for the next few days.

“The gentlemen appear to be happily planning to deplete your husband’s bird and fish population, Lizzy,” Mrs. Gardiner said with a smile and a nod toward the men on the other side of the room.

“They do appear to be enjoying themselves,” Elizabeth said. “I wish my father could have stayed long enough to join them.”

“From what he said when we left the children at Longbourn, I think he is much happier with Mr. Darcy’s books than he would be in collecting his birds.”

“Since there were quite a few holes in William’s library when he departed, I think there is much to what you say,” Elizabeth said dryly.

Caroline observed the conversation between Elizabeth and her aunt uncomfortably. Since her party had arrived at Pemberley, she had been immediately put off balance to find the Gardiners, especially Mrs. Gardiner, so amiable, intelligent, and polite. It was remarkable when she considered that Mr. Gardiner was the elder brother of Mrs. Bennet and made his living in trade. She had known beforehand they would be visiting Pemberley, and she had fully expected to find a male version of Mrs. Darcy’s mother — nonsensical, silly, and ill mannered.

In addition, seeing the obvious affection between Mr. Darcy and his new wife at such close hand was difficult to endure. Her discontent was made even more painful when she remembered that disconcerting hour she spent with Colonel Fitzwilliam in May. Her sister’s advice about how she should have conducted the interview and her observation that Colonel Fitzwilliam was the only eligible man of any consideration who had evidenced an explicit interest in her still roiled in her mind and disturbed her equanimity.

In fact, she seriously considered not accompanying her brother on this journey to Pemberley, only to have Louisa tell her not to be silly. “We do not want to offend Mr. Darcy or his new wife,” she had said sternly. “They might well drop a hint to Charles that he was always welcome to visit Pemberley but that he might consider doing so without a large family party. Mr. Darcy is the most prominent person of our acquaintance, and you might still have the chance of a connection to his noble cousin. Do not ruin it, Caroline!”

“I assume your husband will be hunting, Mrs. Hurst?” Elizabeth’s voice and manner were so polite that Caroline never would have guessed that their previous acquaintance had been constrained.

“Oh, yes,” Louisa answered. “He has been looking forward to this visit for months. It is good of you to be so hospitable so soon after your marriage.”

“It is no effort at all, I assure you. William has also been anticipating your visit. He does not wish to have our marriage diminish his friendship with your brother.”

“Nor does Charles,” Mrs. Hurst said. “He has given up the lease on Netherfield, you know. I believe he would like to find a similar estate in much closer proximity to Pemberley.”

Elizabeth merely nodded to this statement, conscious that she felt no pangs of regret at this unintentional reference to Jane’s failed relationship to Bingley. She had received two letters from Jane since her arrival in Bermuda, and they were so full of happiness and contentment that Elizabeth had dismissed any remorse she might have felt.

“Has your husband any word from his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam?” Caroline asked suddenly and then was aghast at having spoken so impulsively and with hardly any conscious intent. However, it appeared that Elizabeth noticed nothing untoward, for her face showed sudden concern.

“Not since he returned to Spain, Miss Bingley, and I confess that William is somewhat worried. Evidently, there was a significant clash between Wellington and the French last month, and Colonel Fitzwilliam usually writes immediately after such actions to assure the family of his safety.”

Caroline hoped she kept her face expressionless as sudden tightness clenched her chest. She usually paid little or no attention to war news in
The Times
, though Charles always pored over the reports and missives from the commanders, which often were printed. It had always been a matter of considerable conversation between him and Mr. Darcy, and he had commented on missing those consultations. But, for the first time, it was something more than idle news. It had assumed an air of reality as never before because it had become more than distant information completely unrelated to her. Now it was personal, and she realized as never before that real people were being killed and wounded in such encounters.

And the only man who had expressed a real interest in her was directly involved in such happenings. He might be an impudent and insulting man, of absolutely no interest to her whatsoever, but the knowledge he might be dead or grievously wounded at that very moment was overwhelming. Sudden nausea wrenched her stomach.

“I…I suddenly feel unwell,” she said abruptly. “I need to go to my room. Please excuse me.”

The three other women looked with questions in their minds as Caroline Bingley fairly fled up the stairs.

Saturday, August 22, 1812: Pemberley, Derbyshire

Georgiana was playing the pianoforte and Caroline Bingley was singing accompaniment when Mrs. Reynolds silently entered the music room carrying a small silver tray. Wordlessly, she extended the tray to Elizabeth, who took the letter on the tray and nodded. Her heart jumped as she recognized the handwriting, but she waited until Georgiana and Miss Bingley finished before she rose and handed the letter to her husband.

“A letter from Richard,” Elizabeth said simply.