Prague Murder (8 page)

“Give me your address,” Ingrid told her. “I’ll mail you a ton. But you won’t be able to lie to people.”

“I try not to do that anyway,” Cathy said, “And I don’t care. My back and neck and shoulders don’t hurt.”

“Not even the nice lies we tell people like when I told Emily that I think her hair looked good after that last butcher job.”

“Rude,” Emily said. “I’ll punch you in the throat!”

Ingrid didn’t even look over at Emily. There was a twinge of guilt, but it had needed to be said anyway. Cause Em didn’t need to do that cut again! She already had an out-of-control mop of curls, no need to make it worse with weird hacks on them.

“You’re jealous of my curls,” Emily said, pushing back her ‘fro.

“Yes,” Ingrid agreed. “So much so.”

“Brat,” Emily said and stretched next to Cathy, following her movements like they’d just joined some sort of on-the-murder-scene yoga class.

“Well, if you didn’t do it,” Ingrid said with a sigh. “Who did?”

“And how long until we can leave and eat?” Emily added.

“For real,” Carol and Ingrid said in unison.

Chapter 7

“Let’s just figure this out ourselves,” Carol said. “If it isn’t us and it isn’t you. We have that weird shapeshifter wife and who else?”

Emily looked at the older women and then at Ingrid who was yawning as she sipped from her coffee. Yes. Why not add in the sisters to the sleuthing? They were…detectives in disguise. Who would believe these ladies were trying to solve a crime? No one! Emily didn’t even believe it and she’d heard the suggestion.

“The creepy girl-crone who said she didn’t do it under truth serum,” Ingrid yawned again, shuddering as she reached the pinnacle of the yawn.

“And the ghost,” Emily said to the two older women. “Once you go from trails of rose petals to weeping blood, you’re a murder suspect.”

“Oh, I like that one.” Carol rubbed her hands together and started typing a list into her phone.

“I don’t,” Cathy replied. “She already got tried as a witch and separated from her love. Now we’re pinning crimes on her for no good reason? Who else is there?”

Cathy looked at Carol with a tinge of disgust. Ingrid recognized it. It was an expression she’d seen on Emily’s face too many times. These two were friends in addition to be sisters.

“The vampire,” Emily said. “But he’s pretty and I don’t want it to be him even though I sort of have a boyfriend.”

“He is pretty,” Carol agreed. “What do you mean sort of?”

“Dean is probably
the
one. He’s on some secret mission and isn’t even texting me and I object.”

“Hear, hear,” Ingrid agreed, yawning again and then muttered, “Damn truth serum.”

Emily sighed and said, “The jerk. I’m gonna punch him hard in the throat.”

“And the knee,” Ingrid added.

“The knee?” Cathy looked between them and then said, “I think that would hurt your hand.”

“Sounds fun though.”

Emily nodded. Sometimes you just needed to punch someone. Even if it was just mentally. She needed to punch someone. She’d like to start with the murderer and then move onto the next person who delayed her shoe buying, napping, and wine drinking and stocking up on wine for when they were back in plain old Sage Island.

She did love Sage Island. And her aunties. And her coven. But a part of her was craving a bit of adventure. Of course. Not an adventure that included tripping over dead bodies. That needed to stop. Maybe they should find a place to go parasailing. That sounded adventurous. Yes! And bungee jumping. She eyed Ingrid and wondered if Ingrid would do it.

Probably.

If the day was going to end with tacos and wine, Emily thought she could talk Ingrid into it. But first murderers.

“Ingrid and I will talk to the ghost,” Cathy said. “Since you two are too quick to want to further ruin her afterlife. It’s bad enough that she was horrifically slain and her choices were robbed from her. But we don’t need to add crimes she didn’t commit.”

“Yes,” Emily said, planning on telling Dean
all about
the hot vampire. “We’ll take the vamp and we’ll make him drink a slew of truth serum and then tell me if he has a girlfriend.”

“And if,” Carol added, “he murdered that guy and also what he eats and how long he’s lived, and what he can add to our picture of history from his personal experiences. I want him to be really old. Do you know how old he is?”

Carol directed the question at Emily who shook her head. What
did he eat?
Was it people? If it was people, did he snack during sexy times? Did it matter if she had a boyfriend? Yes. Of course. Intellectually, it mattered.

Obviously.

And it wasn’t cheating if you were just curious about technicalities. It would be cheating if she took a chance at Adam Levine and given one—she would.

In a hot, glorious second, she’d take that chance.

Ingrid and Cathy rose, Cathy having to drag the yawning Ingrid along. And Emily and Carol grinned evil grins at each other and then eyed the Presidium guy at the end of the corridor.

“You know what I think,” Carol said as she looked around, hands on her hips. “I bet he didn’t leave, leave. I bet he’s around, sort of lurking. Like vampires do in movies. He’s got an eye on things, but isn’t just wandering around in the open like some sort of normal person.”

Emily considered. She could buy it. But how were they going to find him? If she were a vampire, where would she go?

Well…there was that body out in the courtyard with all of the blood.

Did vampires drink blood like in the stories? And if they did, would that make the hottie Igor the Vampire hovering near the fresh supply or trying to avoid it before he got in trouble for eating it?

“I think…” Emily said, turning and looking around. She hadn’t really looked for exits, and there was the one at the end of the hall, but that was the way out. Everyone knew it. But it couldn’t be the
only
way out. She turned again, saw the door at the end of the hall open, and saw Igor the Presidium dude and Alois come back They walked towards their little closet of interviews with a pile of papers. Igor led the way while Alois had a phone to his ear.

Neither looked happy.

That made her wonder if they knew that Igor the vampire had left or if they hadn’t been able to determine it one way or the other. Were they still fixated on her and Ingrid despite what Hazel had said? Had they decided to look beyond them to the wife? Or creepy-girl-crone Gwennie?

“That way,” Carol said. She nodded covertly to a little door hidden in the shadows. “It’s different than the one leading into the cell.”

“What cell?”

“Where the Presidium fellows are interviewing people.”

“Why is it a cell? There aren’t any bars. It’s just a tiny room.”

“That’s what they called the rooms where nuns used to live. A small, bare room to turn your mind towards God.”

Emily imagined it up and then shuddered. “That sounds horrible. I am definitely not devoted enough to anything to decide to live in a closet.”

“Well…” Carol mused and then shrugged. Maybe she agreed. Maybe she was distracted. But she didn’t expand on what she had started to say.

They walked together towards the door that was inset rather than flush with the wall and Carol looked around while Emily checked to see if it was locked.

It was not.

She slid it open and the two of them made their way into another hall. This one held several doors, but one was open with a light on.

They smiled at one another in triumph and eased forward towards the light while not making a sound.

“I can smell you,” Igor the Vampire said.

“Oh my gosh,” Carol said. “I almost had a heart attack.”

“You need to live near Ingrid. She’ll teach you to be afraid of nothing but fire. Once you are randomly set on fire, a little noise? No big deal.” Emily’s voice was dry and she could see the utter lack of belief on both Igor the Vampire’s face and Carol’s.

“That doesn’t sound better,” Igor the Vampire said. “Why does she set you on fire?”

“She doesn’t mean too. She’s just really bad at magic. Hey, where did you go?”

Igor looked at her and then the room.

“Oh, duh. You went here. What the what? You can’t just disappear when the rest of us have to linger around wondering who is going to die next.”

Igor cleared his perfectly chocolate throat. “Well…”

“It’s the blood isn’t it?” Carol moved forward and laid a hand on Igor. “You are kind of cold.”

“Vampires run a lower body temperature,” Igor said. “Why is the normal type here? Did you tell her I was a vampire?”

“Why was she on the tour?”

“Meredith messed up,” Igor said.

“Who is Meredith,” Emily asked, scowling at him.

“She’s the lovely girl who sold us our tickets,” Carol said. “She’s from Austria and speaks four languages. She’s one of seven children. I have seven children, so we chatted for a while.”

“Obviously not about magic,” Emily said. “Since you’re a normal chick on a magic tour of Prague.”

“She gave them the wrong tickets and starting place. She’s been having a hard time lately,” Igor said. “I was going to try to roll with it since she’s already in trouble with our boss.”

His face said something else when he talked of her though. But he looked around as he said as if to make sure no one else knew that he, what? Had feelings for her?

“That’s a pretty big screwup,” Emily said. She didn’t really care about Meredith. “Quit changing the subject. Did you kill that guy? We want to leave. Fess up, so we can go.”

“No,” Igor growled. “Why would I do that?”

“Why would you disappear,” Emily countered. She wanted to lay a hand on him like Carol had. Emily was pretty sure though that Carol got away with it because she was clearly a grandma.

“Look, things are different when you’re a vampire,” Igor shuffled and look around again.

“Who are you looking for,” Emily asked, eyeing the little room herself.

“No one,” he snapped.

“I knew it! It was the blood.” Emily high-fived herself and said, “Take that Presidium idiots.”

“I didn’t take my potion today. And it’s been subpar lately. I need a new supplier. Man, I’m starving.”

“Do vampires drink blood?”

“What?” Igor the Vampire look frustrated as if he couldn’t believe he was being talked to like this. As if they’d made some sort of weird racial slur. But he answered, “Sort of. It’s in our potion. If the potion is made right and we eat lots of food—usually protein, we don’t need anything else.”

“So you
do
drink blood!” Carol backed away and edged behind Emily.

Emily might have considered being freaked out except he was really pretty. If you had to be a vampire and drink blood, you should be a pretty one. She was pretty sure that everyone would agree on that. Now he just needed to flex and…

“Look,” Igor the vampire said. “Sort of. It’s in the potion with lots of other things. Lavender is in there too. That doesn't sound so bad does it?”

“Yes,” Emily said, because it
had
to be said. “Anything with blood in it is nasty. Lavender does
not
make that better.”

“People eat black pudding and blood sausage all the time.” Igor the Vampire glanced back and forth between them in such a way that said they were idiots.

“And that is
nasty
.” Emily explained, shaking her head at Carol. “Drink this.”

Emily handed Igor truth serum.

“Does that work on vampires?”

That was a good question. Did it? She texted Hazel and handed him another one. They were going to be out if they kept flying through like this. So Emily asked Hazel where they could get more as well. At this point, Emily was pretty sure it was generally unsafe to be without truth serum in your pocket.

“I like black pudding,” Carol said.

Emily couldn’t answer because of the gagging.

“I do,” Carol said. “I could see drinking blood if I could live forever. How do I become a vampire?”

“You don’t,” Igor said.

“You did,” Carol replied.

“Lady, you aren’t going to get to be a vampire. Let it go.”

“That’s not fair. I want to live forever, too.” Carol put her hands on her hips. “I have worked hard. I raised seven kids by myself. I deserve to have some time off. I want to be super strong and turn into a bat and enjoy some extra time.”

Igor looked at Emily as if to ask if she could believe this but Emily could. Seven kids was crazy. Anyone that crazy was probably crazy enough to be a vampire. She didn’t see why Carol couldn’t get the big switch, drink blood, and party until someone staked her.

Hazel texted then and reminded Emily that she was supposed to be investigating. Turned out that truth serums do work on vampires. Emily pushed the vials at Igor the Vampire again and he shook his head.