Pornucopia (15 page)

The fudge had cooled and hardened, leaving an opaque tunnel into the bowels of the mountain. And bowel was what the brown-caked tube resembled! Despite the solid ice under the solid chocolate, the air was reasonably warm here, and by walking swiftly they were able to keep comfortable without clothing. Prior carried his sodden outfit in a wadded ball under his arm, hoping to rinse it eventually in some clear soda stream. Where there was one hot spring, there might be others.

No such luck. The passage debouched into a system of icy caverns. Red stalactites hung from the vaulted ceiling, and similar stalagmites rose to meet them, like sets of teeth slowly dosing. Prior broke the tip off a small one and touched his tongue to it. "Cherry," he said, noting the concentric rings of ice like the growth-rings of trees. "We're in the Orchard, all right."

"Well, get your rod hot," Black said, shivering. "Once we meet up with those three other branches—"

Prior nodded nervously. Fate kept impelling him forward into this challenge, despite his willingness to slide backward. He had vanquished the first two guardian demons—but how would he handle three at once? The moment he reamed one, another would be reaming
him
. But he had to make the effort, now that Klo had given her all for the cause. All her vagina.

The cavern passages led generally down, and fortunately they did not become killingly cold. Perhaps there were hot springs here, after all, melting new passages and imbuing the entire system with some warmth. But Prior didn't like the direction.

"How can we find the Tree, if we don't get to the top?" he demanded, trying to sound more upset than he felt. He didn't want to be trapped in here, but if they really couldn't find those malevolent demons—

"Tree's got to be in the orchard, whitepiss. Keep moving." Unfortunately Black was correct. They traversed a cherry tunnel, stepped into a dull red chamber, and came up against a demon.

It was large and male, but its penis was stubby. "Who the potash are you?" it snorted menacingly, evidently disturbed from some private contemplation, as its erect and throbbing member indicated.

Prior knew he had either to stand up or turn tail—and he was afraid to present his backside to this demon, knowing what he knew of the propensities of these creatures. So with the courage of last resort he said: "I'm Prior Gross—and I've come to climb the Cherry Tree."

The demon frowned down at him, pulling on its penis reflectively. The organ jogged in and out like a telescope. "Have you any last wish before I dilate your puckered little ass?" it asked in the tone of a firing officer beside an execution wall.

"Just let me arm myself." And Prior drew forth the prehensile unit.

The demon charged. Prior had forgotten that there was no pentagram to hold it back, and of course the infernal creature had no conception of fair play. The bundle of chocolate-stiffened clothing flew out of his grasp and he found himself hoisted in the air, his member unattached. The serpent dangled from his hand uselessly.

"I haven't fucked a mortal into oblivion in years!" the demon cried zestfully. "But I wish you'd had the common courtesy to be female. Cunt is so much more lubricious than colon."

"Same to you, cherry branch!" Prior gasped, struggling to reach the floor and gain some purchase. If he could just gain time to fasten on his member and whip it up into fighting condition! "Think
I
like to dirty my member on supernatural shit?"

"You need have no fear of that with me," the demon said, chuckling. For a moment it wavered into the cherry-branch format, but its grip on Prior did not loosen.

"You're overconfident," Prior said, feeling underconfident. "I defeated the first two branches, you know."

"That so? They were weaklings." And this demon's strength did indeed seem greater. It threw Prior down flat, put a bark-hard knee in his back, and limbered up that horsehung penis. It had not been, after all, completely erect before.

Prior's own member was still in his hand. He brought it down and shoved it under his hips, scratching for the vital connection. But he was face down with weight on his torso, and he couldn't get it attached without more leeway.

The demon poked a woody finger between Prior's buttocks. "Let's see your touch-hole, runt. If it isn't big enough, I may have to widen it, ha-ha!"

"Ha-ha!" Prior echoed heavily. He tried to defecate on the demon's hand, but the position was wrong and nothing came out. Instead the probing finger got inside and scraped cruelly at the tender mucous membrane.

"I believe it will fit," the demon murmured with satisfaction, "after I enlarge it a trifle. Scream, please—this is going to hurt."

Prior clenched his sphincter as tightly as possible, as the demon brought its loin down and began expanding its member. The greasy tip of it slobbered along Prior's scrotum before centering accurately on his hole. The demon pushed.

The muscle held. "Fucking position's wrong," the demon said, annoyed, but not completely dismayed by this challenge. It put bark-rough hands against Prior's hips and lifted his rear.

At first Prior resisted, stiffening his body. Then he realized that this was an opportunity for him. He bent in the middle, bringing his knees up under him while his hand jammed the prehensile member onto its socket and twisted it into place.

"Excellent," the demon said, breathing on Prior's elevated rectum. "An extraordinary neo-virginal asshole! You must really have saved it for me! I like this attitude. It makes it so much easier when you cooperate. Now we'll just fasten you in place—" It muttered an obscure pornographic spell, and Prior found himself invisibly clamped where he was. He could not budge head, arms or legs.

This demon was tough, all right! The others hadn't used magic on him. But Prior still had control over his sphincter. Probably the spell had to exclude that, or it would have been frozen closed, and be impenetrable.

Meanwhile his attached member was swelling rapidly. So the entire genital region was free, as well as his eyes and mouth. The battle wasn't over yet!

"Easy does it," the demon said, making itself comfortable behind Prior, dog-fashion. "First a little choice lubrication—" The ugly face moved down, and the huge canine tongue slurped over Prior's crack, wetting it down thoroughly with gooey saliva. "You've been consuming too much chocolate!" the demon complained.

"So what's wrong with healthy brown chocolate?" Prior demanded, momentarily gratified. So maybe he
had
gotten a little fecal matter out, and the demon had licked it up! Served it right!

"Cherry is better, as I shall shortly demonstrate." The demon chuckled. "Get that? demon-strate." But it became serious again when Prior did not laugh at the pun. "So you're still fighting it? Then we'll just brace against the portal and slide in a bit when it relaxes, so." And that slimy skinned-wood penis shoved, not hard but very firm and steady.

Prior kept his sphincter clenched, but the muscle was tiring. He remembered how starfish opened clams by exerting steady pull on the shells, until the clams could no longer hang on. In time that insistent pressure would wear him down, and he knew he would have no chance once the outer defense had been breached.

But Prehensile was finally ready. What luck that he had selected this particular organ this time! Prior curled it down between his legs, out of sight of the demon, then under his own hanging testicles, across behind those of the demon, and up. It looped in a three-quarter circle back toward the demon's rectal region. He was about to attack from the rear.

Now came the ticklish part. He had to make a good entry on the first thrust, before the demon realized what was happening. If that failed he would not have another chance, because his leverage was weak and his own rectum was on the verge of yielding.

Get ready... get set... THRUST!

Prehensile lunged forward, a striking snake, aiming blindly but with pretty good judgment for the supernatural anus. The azimuth and elevation and orientation were almost perfect; Prior felt the glancing contact of thorny buttocks, the bald alcove between them, the base of the crevice. He was driving for a hole-in-one!

Except—

Where was the aperture?

Up and down the veneer-polished crack Prehensile undulated, seeking its entrance—and there was none. From balls to backbone, the demon's bottom was sealed.

"Ha-ha!" the creature bellowed. "Thought you'd pull a fast one, eh? Well get this, dimwit: I saw your friggin' worm, I let you put it on, and I near busted out laughing. You can't get me with that! Know, oh mortal—
I have no asshole!
You can shove and slither all you want—you can tickle me but you'll never nudge
my
shit!"

It was all too true. Prior was sunk. The demon had only been playing with him, letting him think he had a chance.

"That little torment was for fucking my innocent little brother out of existence," the demon gloated. "Now I'm going to get even for what you did to my precious little sister, she of the small sweet ripe cherry."

It brought its hulking head around, at the same time cuffing Prior's frozen body sidewise. Its face was grotesque: tiny near-spaced eyes whose whites were blood-red (technically, cherry-red), purplish wiry hair, monstrous flaring nostrils, pointed ears, and a chin whose cleft surface sported two sprawling hairy warts.

But it was the mouth that horrified Prior. The lips were black and blotchy, peeling back to expose jagged animal teeth.

"You tried to ram my rectum, touch my twat," the demon said. "Well now you can fuck my face." It crunched those devastating dentures together loudly. "See—I'm giving you more chance than you ever gave my mistress!"

"I thought she was your little sister," Prior said, his eyes following the thing's clacking jaws. His poor member would have no chance at all in a beartrap like that. But he could not move even one hand to shove the mouth away or disconnect Prehensile.

"Same thing. It doesn't count when it's all in the family. Not that I ever could quite get into her tail, in man-form. In flea-form it was possible, but then it wasn't much fun."

If he whipped Prehensile aside, Prior thought, those jaws would follow, playing cat and mouse until there was no further room to retreat. No doubt that was what the demon wanted. But if he detumesced it, he would still be disarmed.

The Cherry Branch meant to bite off Prehensile, then sodomize Prior at leisure while he bled to death. And there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

"Use your bleached gray matter, whiteface!" Black called from a safe distance. "Is that the best you can do? I thought you were a real fucker!" And the big Negro blew his nose disdainfully.

Black wasn't even a fair-weather friend. He had expressed nothing but contempt for Prior all along. Now he was rubbing it in. Blowing his ebony nose, while Prior was getting demonically chewed and screwed.

Nose....

The demon's breath was hot upon Prior's scrotum. The huge teeth hovered near the quivering glans. The mouth came down, smiling evilly. Slowly, slowly, tantalizingly slowly....

Think... real fucker... nose....

Prior launched Prehensile forward, a rattlesnake. The tip bounced off the demon's stubby chin, scratched nauseatingly against the hairy warts, skated over the slimy upper teeth scraping away a channel of smegma-like plaque deposit, skidded on the cleft of the mottled upper lip....

And plunged at last into the gaping left nostril.

"Oomph!" the demon cried, jerking back.

But Prehensile followed, thrusting deeper, wedging a passage through the caked snot inside. Three inches, four, five! The force of it slammed the demon's head back against Prior's raised knees, stopping the retreat.

Six inches, and he was well settled in the sinus cavity, warm and soft and slick. "Go, go, go, gonads!" Prior grunted.

In and out his faithful penis thrust, heating the membranes by the friction of its travel while the demon howled and clawed futilely at it. Then the Cherry Branch got belatedly smart: took a deep breath, pinched shut its other nostril, closed its big mouth, and prepared to blow its nose violently. This was a blow-job that would finish Prior—

Suddenly the spasm came, sending its fluid coursing along the winding hose and into the demon's pressurized sinus.

"HA-CHOOO!" the demon sneezed in agony... and exploded into vapor. At that moment the spell abated, and Prior's limbs were free.

He had won again... by a nose. Thanks to Black's seeming insults, which were actually advice couched in a manner the demon would not understand and counter.

They moved on down the cherry caverns. This time Prior kept himself prepared: he had Normal, the six-incher, connected and halfway turgid. That way he was halfway ready for anything. Halfassed, as Black put it. But he hoped he wouldn't meet the fourth Branch soon, because the struggle with the third had exhausted him, physically and chemically. He wasn't certain he could get a full erection, let alone ejaculate!

"Well!"

Prior and Black both jumped. A demoness lay before them, dusky, sultry and sexy. She was another branch of the Cherry Tree, all right, for her cherry was bright red and sparkled between her supple, leaf-green-shaded thighs.

"Sa-ay," Black said appreciatively. "Can anybody play? I wouldn't mind cornholing that brown beauty myself."

Prior wasn't sure of the legalities, but his limp member cast the deciding vote. He might get it up for this encounter, for the demoness was as luscious a piece as he had ever approached—but what if the next demon arrived on the scene too quickly? Sheer glandular fatigue would do him in when he faced the last branch! Black knew he was not eligible to approach the Spire itself—but that was not his purpose. He just wanted a good fuck, and he knew the risk entailed. "Okay by me," Prior said.

Black needed no further urging. "Now you stay out of it, the way I stayed out of yours," he cautioned. "I know she's a bitch, and she'll kill me if she can, but this here motherfuckin' horn
will
not be denied." And, indeed, his erection was impressive.

"Right," Prior said, realizing only now that it had not been indifference or cowardice that prevented Black from coming to his assistance before, but the man's own code of ethics. Three was a crowd, when it came to serious combat or fornication! Except for advice from the sidelines.

Black advanced penis-first on the waiting female, took hold of one arm and breast, dropped onto her torso and issued a pneumatic sigh. "Just let me dip my stick in your transmission, black baby," he said.

She shimmered—and Black found himself embracing a crocodile. Great and green and alligator-hided, with a thrashing tail and elongated snout and cruel hungry eyes.

Prior, watching, was as dismayed as Black. There, but for the grace of circumstance and a flaccid member, went he! He had known the demons could change shape, but this was ridiculous!

Black, whatever his political sentiments, was sexually normal. Bestiality was hardly in his line, when he considered it degrading to sample the lubricity of even nonblack human females. Prior saw the ebony penis losing elevation as it brushed the cold belly-scales of the reptile. A luscious woman-form was one thing, demon though she might be; this was something else.

But there was no release from that embrace. The crocodile's immense jaws whipped around, snapped at Black's face—

But Black had brought up his wrist with the amulet. A blue spark jumped, singeing the reptile's teeth. "No kissin', cousin!" Black cried. "You can't hurt me. I got protection!"

"Human bastard!" the crocodile muttered, licking the charred surface of the tooth. "Think you're pretty mortal smart!" And it changed into a monstrous crab. "Well I'll just pinch you to see if you're real!"

Two gigantic pincers reached for the man. One went for the throat, and Black had to fend it off immediately with the amulet.

The other pincer moved simultaneously for his groin, and Black, distracted by the threat to his neck, didn't catch it in time. It clamped on the genitalia and wrenched—and suddenly Black was a bleeding eunuch. He screamed once, horribly, then fainted.

Prior was appalled, sickened, and terrified, but also angry. The foul-mouthed Negro was his friend in his black-humor fashion. Black had twice summoned cherry branches for him to tackle individually, and had once thrown him a penis when he had been caught short. Last time Black had given him the life-saving hint about the Demon's nose—the facial aperture
without
deadly teeth. And Black had gotten them safely here by summoning the hellephant.

Yes, Black was a friend in deed and sometimes in word. Prior knew he could not have made it this far without the man's timely assistance. Black didn't deserve such mutilation and death, when all he had wanted was a decent dusky fuck.

The crab metamorphosed back into the crocodile, and the crocodile opened her jaws to take another bite of manflesh. The dripping penis and scrotum lay on the cold cavern floor, the blood melting into the cherry ice.

Prior charged.

If he had had time to think it through properly, he would have known he had no chance, and let the Negro's corpse buy him time to escape. He would have given up his insanely foolish quest for the Spire. He would have returned to Earth a sadder but more potent man.

But now rage drove out all fear and all reason. His six-incher was not even rigid, but he tensed his legs to pounce on the crocodile.

His foot slipped on the severed, peeled-banana penis. A testicle squirted out from under as Prior fought for balance. He couldn't stop; he had to fall, so he fell forward.

And landed astride a tigress. Literally.

"Another lover, so soon!" she purred, her predator-muscles orienting on him. "Well here's some real pussy for you, half-mast!"

She twisted off Black and faced Prior, the deadly sharp claws of all four feet driving for his gut. But he still had some of the advantage of surprise; she was not properly braced for his impact, and the floor was slippery with diluted blood on the ice. He crashed into her bodily and shoved her sidewise, away from Black.

Instinctively he wrapped his arms about her torso, pulling her tight to restrict those scraping claws. And then she was an enormous fat hen. "Squa-awk!" she squawked. "Let's have some cock!"

He tried to wring her small neck, but the clumsy bird became an unclumsy bird: a giant eagle, its bill stabbing down at his eyeballs.

There was hardly time to react, let alone think. Prior butted his head against hers, using his hard skull to blunt her sharp beak, and reached out wildly for Black's body. There was sharp pain in his skull as hair and skin were gouged, but he found the body. While he fought off the buffeting eagle's wings one-handed he wrestled with the Negro's body for that magic amulet. It was set in a bracelet, and if he could get it off—well, he could take the punishment of claw and beak for a little while, so long as he got hold of that protection.

Meanwhile his opponent had changed her shape again. A man-sized hairy spider threw loops of sticky web about him while purple mandibles came at his face. But he got hold of Black's arm, slid along the wrist, hooked a finger under the band. As the spider's venom-dripping jaws opened to damp on his nose, he hauled desperately on amulet and hand, and brought it between him and the demoness. The spark jumped again.

"Now cut that out!" the spider said, jerking back while its face-fur smoked. Its six or ten eyes blinked in pain. "I'm just trying to offer you a little good hair-pie." But already she was a shark, with seemingly endless teeth.

"There's something fishy about you," Prior grated. He put the amulet right into that underslung maw and drove it back. He had a weapon now—but he knew it could not win the battle for him by itself. It had not been enough for poor Black! He used it to fend her off while he concentrated desperately on his definitive weapon: his penis. He could only vanquish her completely by copulating with her—and it had to be fast, or he was dead, amulet or no.

But it was hard to stiffen his torpid member in the face of these repeated changes of form! Now the bitch was a bear, now a snake, now a pig. Each form constituted a new attack by claw, fang or snout, and none was sexually conducive. And he sorely missed the semen he had so recently expended on the assless demon. An amulet was no substitute for ejaculate!

Nevertheless the heat of combat elevated his blood pressure, and his member gradually came erect. The abrasion it received during the struggle helped, though there was little sexual appeal in this. As his penis hardened, the demoness lost strength, for here was the thrusting phallus she most feared. Her scratches became shallow, and her blows futile. Finally she collapsed back into human form.

Prior wedged her luscious thighs apart and forced his full-sized meat into her loosening hole. At least this vagina was ample! He had been half afraid she wouldn't have one. She screamed and went limp.

He had won again!

Except—

Except that he hadn't come yet. And she hadn't puffed into smoke. That was suspicious.

She was playing possum, though she had carefully avoided assuming the possum shape, evidently hoping he'd be satisfied with the seeming victory. She must have known that he couldn't come quickly, so her loose vulva was safe for the time being. If he fell for that ruse, who could guess what deviltry she would come up with once she recovered the initiative?

Prior rammed into her the full six inches, finding no resistance. It was such a contrast to the vicelike tightness of the other female; this one was a cool ocean in her laxity. In fact, he had precious little to strive against, and his penis was freezing!

That
was her trap! She was zero weather inside, and his hot blood was rapidly chilling. He had to finish the job promptly, or his flesh would go numb.

He couldn't come. He had to have incentive, stimulation, and friction, and there was no more of these here than might be had by having intercourse with a day-old corpse. In fact she even felt corpselike now—a body in the freezer.

Black groaned and stirred. "Did you trim her wick, whiteshit?"

So he was alive! "I have it in, but the juice is congealing. Do you have any more advice?"

Black coughed unhealthily. "My old man—curse his black hide—always said...." He trailed off.

"What did he say?" Prior demanded. His whole front was getting chilled; he might as well have been having intercourse with a bank of snow! "Don't faint now, you bastard nigger!"

"Flattery... nowhere...."

"Listen, Black, I'm not flattering you! My cock is an icicle! Tell me what you know!"

"If you can't eat it, and you can't...." The voice became an indecipherable mumble.

"What? What?" Prior shouted desperately. Not only was his member going numb, it seemed to be frozen in place in her ice-solid body. To withdraw now might well be to rip it off himself!

"...can't fuck it...."

"I know I can't fuck it!" Prior cried. "That's my problem!
Tell me
, you deballed wonder!"

"PISS ON IT!" Black screamed furiously. And died.

There went his last hope! Black's eleventh-hour help had pulled him through before, but there was no chance of that now. "Piss on it!" Prior echoed with mixed sorrow and rage. Why had he driven Black into such anger as the man lay dying? His thoughtlessness had cost them both their penises and their lives!

Piss on it....

Inspiration! Would it work?

He resumed pumping, pretending that there was still fire in his phallus. "I'm getting near the climax, you demonic cherry whore," he told her. "You're a corpse, but you can't cool my organ. Not deep down to the source of semen. It's sort of fun, fucking frigidity; a novelty, sets me off. You can't shrink me before I spurt. Feel that hot burble starting?"

"No," she said uncertainly.

He jogged his dead member, hoping it was more rigid than it seemed, and not because of getting frozen. "What an orgasm! It's raging in my gut! I can't hold it back any longer, much as I enjoy playing with you! You're quite a lay, know that?"

"You're quite a bluffer, know that?"

"Ooooh!" he cried, twisting his face in simulated rapture. "Ah, crocodile-cunt, I've never had one like this! Aaaaah!" And he panted and tensed his whole cold body as though torn by the spasm.

She changed into a giant, slimy, wriggling worm. But his member was wedged in the thing's cloaca, and he continued his act. "I'm coming! I'm coming! Swing low, sweet chariot! Feel that hot liquid!"

And he compressed his belly and urinated forcefully into her quivering vagina as she changed back into a woman.

"A-a-a-a-ah!" she screamed in climactic agony. She began to dissolve into chilly vapor.

Suddenly her misty eyes opened. "You unmitigated fucker!" she snarled, metamorphosing into the tiger. Her hole clenched airily. "That's not ejaculate!"

Prior just waited, letting his bladder drain into her, warming his cold penis during its passage. It felt almost as good as a real climax.

"That's PISS!" the crocodile bellowed.

But it was too late. She could not pull her wafting flesh together again. Slowly, reluctantly, angrily, and with multiple changes of form, she faded into brown, urine-saturated mist. His last drops spattered on the pink ice.

This time he really
had
won—by cheating.