Pleasures of a Notorious Gentleman (36 page)

“It was no charade.” He couldn’t stop himself. He cradled her cheek, cold and damp with her tears. “You are his mother. Can you ever forgive me for doubting you?”

She shook her head.

“Mercy, God, Mercy, I will do anything you ask of me. I won’t search for the memories anymore. I won’t worry about the past. I’ll hoard every memory from this moment on. They’ll be enough if they include you.”

“I was wrong to deceive you.”

“You didn’t. You are John’s mother. I have no memory of our first night together, but I have no doubt, my dear, precious, courageous wife, that if I did remember it, I would discover that I had begun to fall in love with you that night.”

Weeping, she fell into his lap. He held her close, rocking her, whispering sweet words of forgiveness and love. There was a familiarity to the moment that surprised him, as though he almost did remember holding her like this.

“Come home with me, Mercy. Come home to me and to John.”

Against his shoulder, she nodded. Lifting her into his arms, he carried her from the room.

His mother was waiting expectantly at the bottom of the stairs. He wasn’t surprised. He was astonished that she hadn’t been standing in the bedchamber doorway listening.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

He tightened his hold on Mercy. “To make memories.”

E
verything seemed so familiar, so welcoming as Stephen escorted her into the residence. He’d held her close in the carriage as though he were afraid that if he released her for even a second, she’d disappear from his life forever. He’d kissed her and murmured how much he loved her, how he would ensure that she never regretted being married to him.

He made her feel special again, made her glad for every step she’d traveled along the path that had led her to him.

Upstairs they went to the nursery. After giving Mercy a few minutes to hold John close, breathe in his fragrance, and then tuck him back into bed, Stephen led her to the bedchamber. He made short work of removing her clothes and his. They tumbled onto the bed.

With reverence, he trailed his fingers over her body—slowly, provocatively. She skimmed her hands up his arms, over his chest.

“Don’t think about it,” she ordered softly.

He lifted his gaze to hers.

“That night. So long ago,” she said.

“I can’t think about what I don’t remember.”

But somehow he’d learned about it, and although he didn’t have the memory, he now had the knowledge. He brushed his lips over her throat.

“I love you, Mercy,” he whispered. “It almost killed me to send you away.”

“Then why did you?”

“Stubborn pride. But more than that.” He threaded his fingers through her hair, his palm cupping her cheek. “From the moment I woke up in that damned hospital, I’ve felt lost. Until you came into my life. You provided me with an anchor, and when I learned the truth, I felt as though I was once again floundering. It’s not an excuse for my behavior. But rather an explanation for it.”

“And now.”

“I feel as though I’ve finally come home.” He took her mouth gently, but with an urgency that spoke of desire loosely leashed. He would release it soon and they’d become lost in the heat and the passion, the familiarity of each other.

His touch was different this time. Or perhaps it was only the way she perceived it. No secrets lay between them. Whatever memories were lost to him didn’t matter. The two of them existed now, within this moment. Just as he’d said as he’d carried her out of his mother’s residence, they would make new memories. She would give him so many that he’d never remember them all. Thousands upon thousands until neither of them thought about the past two years, until neither of them ever again spoke of Scutari. Or dreamed of it.

They took their time, caressing and stroking, as though each wanted to memorize every detail of the other, reaffirm the familiar, make note of the newly discovered. It always amazed her that somehow she always learned something new about him. A scar that had been overlooked, a spot on his side that was ticklish, an area that was more sensitive. They would have years of this. Learning, savoring, cherishing.

But she didn’t want to think about the future. She wanted to concentrate on this single moment, the beauty of it as he joined his body to hers.

“Home,” he whispered near her ear. “With you, I’m always home.”

He began to rock against her, slowly at first and then more quickly. Her body reacted swiftly and strongly to the rhythm. They touched, they kissed. His mouth latched on to the peak of her breast, and he suckled. Pleasure tore through her in undulating waves, carrying her higher and higher. . .

To heights never before reached.

“Oh, God,” she moaned, pressing him closer, digging her fingers into his shoulders.

“I love you, Mercy,” he rasped, his breath harsh, labored.

Opening her eyes, she held his and saw the truth of his words. Not that she’d doubted, but here was more evidence, the love he felt for her reflected so clearly in the blue of his gaze.

“I love you, Stephen. I have for so long.”

“Love me longer.”

“I’ll love you into eternity.”

“You’re the only one, the only one I’ve ever loved.”

Groaning low, he dipped his head and pressed a kiss to the tiny scar on her collarbone that remained from that long ago night. If it had not already healed, she thought the press of his lips might have had the power to heal it. It was as though everywhere he touched, she felt renewed. Tonight was a cleansing, a ridding of lies, deceit, and mistrust. She’d always thought that when they were together they were as one. Only now did she realize that a thin barrier had existed between them, placed there by her fears of discovery. But now he knew the truth, all of it, and here he was. Whispering words that touched her deeply. Taking possession of her with a fierceness that claimed her as his and announced he was hers.

Raising himself above her, he slid into her, glided out, his movements deliberate, with purpose, lifting her awareness, spiking her pleasure until it climbed—

“Oh, my dear God!” She arched back, then curled around him, holding him near, pressing against him as his rhythm quickened.

He cried out her name as his body jerked and spasmed. He never loosened his hold on her gaze. Triumph washed over his face, but it wasn’t that of a victor. Rather it was that of a man who had conquered himself. As he lowered himself and buried his face in the curve of her throat, she circled her arms and legs around him, holding him tightly and dearly.

For the first time since she’d left Scutari, she felt as though she, too, had finally come home.

Chapter 26

I
want to know everything, every moment I spent with you that I can no longer recall.”

They were lying in bed, completely unclothed, she on her back, he raised up on an elbow, skimming his fingers over her continuously as though he couldn’t bear the thought of even one second of not touching her.

Lowering his head, he pressed a kiss to the swell of her breast. “Tell me, Mercy.”

And so she did.

Of how she’d first seen him sitting against a wall awaiting medical treatment. Of assisting with the surgery. The hours she’d sat by his side when fever raged. The talks of England they’d had while he was recovering. The nights when he’d gone out for some fresh air. When she had spotted him leaning against the building. The nights they’d taken a stroll, even though she knew she’d be suspected of notorious behavior, knew that if she were caught Miss N would return her to England.

“Why risk it?” he asked.

“Because like all women, I never could resist you.”

He skimmed his knuckles along her cheek. “Never compare yourself to all women. You are nothing at all like any woman I’ve ever known.”

They were quiet for several moments while she gathered her courage to tell the tale and he gathered the strength to hear it. Finally, she told him about the night of the attack. The horror of it. The wonder of it.

“You ordered Sergeant Mathers to find us a room. He did. It was only you and me in there. You laid me on the bed, examined me so carefully, so gently.” She brushed her fingers through his hair at his temples. “You washed me. Then you held me, told me you cared for me. You gathered my tears with kisses. You made me believe that everything would be all right. That I could survive it. And so I did.”

He cradled her cheek, held her gaze. “I love you so much. I don’t know what the devil possessed me to send you away.”

His mouth covered hers and once again they became a tangle of limbs, touching, exploring, pleasuring.

Tonight the lovemaking was different, more intense, more . . . free. No secrets. Only honesty between them.

When he filled her, she welcomed him gladly. They moved in a sinuous motion, the passion building, the fire burning. She had no doubt that he was hers, now and forever. Nothing, nothing at all would ever take him from her again.

When pleasure eclipsed all else, it was celebrated with him calling out her name.

Mercy, Mercy,
Mercy
.

The joyous jubilation swept away the last of her nightmares. As she nestled against him to fall asleep, she knew they’d never return.

I
n the hallway of the terraced residence Stephen waited to be received. It was nearly noon. He’d planned to arrive earlier, but his vixen of a wife had kept him in bed longer than he’d expected. Not that he was complaining. Once this business was over with, he planned to spend each morning in bed as late as his wife desired.

Glancing up at the sound of footfalls, he watched as Fancy descended the stairs, a provocative smile greeting him. She was still a fancy bit of work. He remembered a time when that smile had taken him to the edge of passion. He felt nothing for her now. Nothing at all.

“Good morning, darling,” she cooed as she approached him with movements designed to entice.

She placed a hand on his chest and before she could get nearer, he extended the envelope between them. Her smile changed into one of anticipation and her eyes glowed. “What’s this?”

“Four thousand pounds.” He’d had to borrow it from Ainsley. “I believe that’s the price you quoted my wife for her silence.”

Confusion marred her features. She stepped back without taking his offering. “Why—”

“I made a mistake,” he said flatly. “I mistook you for John’s mother.”

“I gave birth to him.”

“That does not make you his mother. Mercy claimed that honor, and so she will keep him and me. This is simply a payment for your services. The only payment you’ll ever receive from us. Do with it what you will. But do not bother us again.”

She snatched the envelope from him. “I shall need more. Four thousand a year. Otherwise, I shall tell everyone the truth of your son’s birth.”

He smiled. “No, you won’t. It would lessen your value. Make it more difficult to acquire a benefactor. Men favor women who know how to prevent by-blows.”

“I’ve discovered this is not the life I want.” Once again she placed her hand on his chest. She looked up at him with a plea in her eyes. “Not every man is you. It is
you
whom I desire.”

“I am taken.”

“You’ll grow bored with her.”

“No, I won’t. And if you do tell the world that you are my son’s mother—so be it. I do not intend for him to grow up not knowing the truth. However, be prepared to face my wrath as well as my mother’s.”

She paled with the force of the second threat.

“Yes,” he said quietly. “She can assure that London never opens its door to you again.”

She crushed the envelope to her chest. “Another four thousand and I’ll be silent.”

“You’re getting only what I just gave you. Go see Westcliffe. He’ll help you invest it. Perhaps with his help you’ll become a lady of leisure.”

He turned to leave—

“Stephen, you will be back. And I will be waiting.”

He glanced back at her. “I love Mercy. That will never change. Wait if you wish, but it will be in vain.”

He strode from the residence and down the steps to the waiting carriage. Once inside, he kissed his wife passionately as the carriage took off. When he finally drew back, she asked, “Did it go well?”

“She’ll not bother us.”

“What do we do now?”

“Go see Leo and arrange to have a family portrait painted.”

Her beautiful smile still had the power to take his breath away. He suspected it always would.