Playboy Pilot (7 page)

IF I WAS GOING TO BE
a fucking panty sniffer, I might as well go all in and shoot for the title of biggest piece of shit of the year. I’d just taken a long morning piss and had to practically bend over the bowl to get my wood down enough to be able to aim for the water. Kendall was still sleeping in the bed, and my self-control was slipping. Not that I’d spent very much of my life actually practicing controlling myself. But this girl made me want to.

Last night, when it was time for bed, I could see she was uncomfortable. I was pretty damn uncomfortable too, but mostly because I had a stiff cock that I’d been trying to talk down for at least an hour after she’d changed into that paper-thin nightshirt and short shorts. So being the chivalrous man that I’m not usually, I insisted on taking the floor to sleep. Now my back was killing me, and I figured there was no harm, no foul if I climbed into bed and got a few hours of good shut-eye on the mattress. It was 4AM, and she wouldn’t find out until morning. By then it’d be too late anyway. So I lifted the sheet and gently slipped into the bed, careful not to shake the mattress too much.

Kendall had been facing the other way, and when the old wooden bed frame creaked, she turned over in her sleep. I froze and waited to see if her eyes would open. After a minute, she was still in dreamland, so I took some time to openly ogle her. That’s when I noticed the top button of her nightshirt, which had been only buttoned to a low V-neck already, was open. And her entire left tit was on full display.
Damn straight those things are perky.
And not just the breast itself. The nipple, which was a nice size for a breast that wasn’t more than a good handful, was fully erect. It was pointing at me.
Daring me.
Inviting me.

Fuuuuck.

My mouth was salivating. I wanted to suck on that nipple more than I’d ever wanted to touch any woman.

Just one little lick.

She might not even wake up.

My eyes flicked up to hers. She was sound asleep. I doubted she would even feel it in her current state. I could be gentle. Just flutter my tongue over the swollen little bud, enough to take the smallest of tastes.

Just one little taste.

One tiny lick.

Fuuuuuucck.
My head moved a few inches closer to her breast. I was such a piece of shit. I’m pretty sure I went through a real momentary lapse in sanity, because I could have sworn there was a tiny little devil sitting on top of her right shoulder. I could actually hear the thing, see it clear as day. Of course, my devil wasn’t your run of the mill bald, menacing looking man painted red with a tail. No,
my devil
was a tall brunette with her hair pulled back in a twist, a skimpy flight attendant uniform, and cute little horns on her head. She winked at me and whispered in my ear.
Do it. Do it, you pussy.
She wants it anyway.

My conscience responded.
She trusts you. Don’t be a dick all your life. Suck it up, dude. Find another pair of panties, you disgusting pig.

Kendall shifted in her sleep again, this time raising one arm up and over her head. The entire breast was then fully on display. Her skin was creamy, and her nipple was such a deep shade of pink, it was truly a magnificent sight.

What the fuck is wrong with you, pussy. Suck it. Suck it now.
The damn she-devil had grown to twice her size.

I scrubbed my hands over my eyes to wipe my imagination clean. It didn’t help. Not one bit. My she-devil was unbuttoning her own shirt over Kendall’s shoulder.

Fuck.
I’ve definitely lost it.

Out of the blue, blocking out the sinful thoughts I was having, a Beatles song popped into my brain.
You’re Going to Lose That Girl.
The lyrics started playing in my head, and she-devil was smiling and gyrating her hips to the beat.

Goddamn you, John Fucking Lennon.

He was right. He’s
always
damn right.

Whipping the sheet off me before I could change my mind, I grabbed my running shoes and a baseball cap and took off.

KENDALL WASN’T IN BED
when I returned to the room two hours later. I’d gone for an hour-long run and then sat on the beach to watch the sun rise. The fucked up thing was, I longed for a girl I barely knew to be sitting next to me as it rose over the ocean, almost as bad as I wanted that succulent nipple this morning.

I was growing soft.

Although I was generally fucking hard around her.

I sat down on the bed and began to take off my shoes when Kendall came out of the bathroom. “Hey. Where’d you disappear to so early?”

“I went for a run.”

“You should have woken me. I would’ve gone with you.”

I wanted to wake you, trust me.

“You looked so cute sleeping, smiling with one hand down your pants. I couldn’t ruin that for you,” I lied and winked.

Her eyes widened to saucers. “You’re lying.”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

She punched me in the abs and laughed.

“Careful there, little girl. Don’t want you to break that fragile little hand on my rock hard six-pack.”

“You’re so full of yourself.” She smiled and shook her head as she walked to the bed. Climbing on, she sat Indian-style and pulled a book from the end table.
Eyewitness Travel: Top 10 Rio de Janeiro.

“Where did you get that?”

“It was in the end table.”

“It’s in English?”

“No. But I was looking at the pictures.”

She is so fucking cute.
“Anything spark your interest, Sparks?”

Her face lit up when she spoke again. “Everything! To be honest, my idea of traveling is usually finding those few blocks of high-end stores and shopping all day. Then going to a fancy restaurant to show off what I bought. My mom trained me well. The only difference between us is, I don’t generally have eight whisky sours and plant my face in the spaghetti bolognese. I’m not sure what it is about this place. Maybe it’s being here at Maria Rosa’s, but I want to see everything.” She paused and started to flip through pages she had dog-eared. “The train up to Sugar Loaf Mountain, the Christ the Redeemer statue, Tijuca Forest—the giant waterfalls, the favelas…I want to see it all!”

“That’s an awfully tall order for one day.”

Her bright smile fell. “I wish we had more than one day.”

There was no way in the world I would ever be able to deny this woman anything that made her face light up like that. I scratched my chin. “You know what? I have an idea.”

“What’s that?”

“I think it should be a surprise.”

“I love surprises!”

Maybe I shouldn’t have left this morning then.

“Alright. You trust your life in my hands for today?”

“It was in your hands for an entire plane ride. So I don’t see why not.”

It wasn’t the time to mention that I was a fuck of a lot more reckless when I wasn’t in the sky. “Okay. Get dressed. And you’ll need to wear something tight. No loose clothing. If you have any of those bicycle shorts and a tight tank top, that would work best.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll head to the kitchen and whip us up some
ovos picantes e salsicha
.”

“Mmm…sounds delicious.”

“It is. You’re going to love my sausage.” I winked and left her to it.

MARIA ROSA HAD AN OLD
, beat up, open-air Jeep that boarders could use for seventy-five Brazilian Real a day, roughly about twenty bucks. I loved the thing, and Kendall seemed to, as well. She hadn’t stopped smiling since she laid eyes on the hunk of junk. Once, I had rented a Mustang convertible while I was on layover in Barcelona and had planned to spend the day with one of the flight attendants who had been in my bed the night before. She made me put the top up so it wouldn’t mess her hair up. That was the last time I bothered attempting to do anything outside of fucking when I stayed at a hotel. But Kendall, the woman with a T-shirt that costs more than my entire wardrobe, just pulled an elastic band from her bag and tied her hair back without even thinking about the mess the wind may cause. It made her that much more sexy to me.

“How much longer? Are we seeing Christ the Redeemer first?”

We had been slowly driving up a winding mountain road for the last ten minutes, so her guess was a good one. Although she didn’t know it yet, it was more likely she would be praying to Christ to save her ass in a few minutes, rather than snapping pictures of him for Instagram. “We’re almost there. I haven’t decided what we’re going to see first. But we will see the statue at some point.”

She scrunched up her face. “How could you not have decided on our first stop if we’re almost there?”

“Ahh…a riddle. That’s for me to know and you to figure out, my perky friend.”

She rolled her eyes, but I was certain she was having a great time, even though we hadn’t gotten to the fun part yet. When we were a minute or two away from where we would be leaving from, she caught on that I wasn’t wearing tight clothes, yet I had told her she needed to.

“Where are your bicycle shorts?”

“Don’t have any.”

“Don’t you need tight clothes?”

“Nope.”

“How come? You told me I needed them for what we were doing today.”

“I actually didn’t. I told you
I
needed you to wear tight clothes. But I never mentioned that it was for what we were going to do today.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I just wanted to see you in tight clothes.”

Her eyes flared. But instead of getting mad, she threw her head back in a fit of laughter. “You are such a perv.”

“Do you like pervs?” I asked, sounding like a total perv.

She sighed. “I guess they’re starting to grow on me.”

I parked in a dirt clearing in the middle of a field on the top of a mountain. There were a few cars parked, but she couldn’t see the main attraction because we needed to climb down about 100 stairs to get to the bluff where we would take off from. “We’re here.”

She looked around. “Where’s here? What are we seeing?”

I grabbed a backpack out of the back of the Jeep and jogged around to open her door. Extending my hand, I said. “We’re not seeing anything here. We’re doing.”