Play Me, I'm Yours [Library Edition] (15 page)

“I don’t know.”

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Lucas, I’m not saying this to be mean, or because I want him for myself, but I really don’t think Zach is gay. I mean, I do have some experience in this department.”

Lucas stared at her. Part of him didn’t think so either.

“I mean, how can
every
boy in my life turn out to be gay? And no offense,” she said, “but you have a really bad track record when it comes to love.”

“
You’re
the one who set me up with Donovan,” Lucas said.

“I know, and I’m so sorry. That was a mistake of epic proportion.”

That was the understatement of the century.

“Can you blame me for wanting my two besties to fall in love and live happily ever after?” She jutted out her bottom lip.

“I forgive you,” he said.

“Good. Now, tell me how you know about Zach. My heart can’t take the suspense. Has he put the moves on you?”

“No.”

“Well, did he tell you he likes you?”

“No.”

“Then what makes you think he wants your babies?”

Lucas rolled his eyes. “I don’t know. Why else would he friend me on Facebook?”

“Lucas, I love you, but you’re killing me here. Find out. Text me later.”

“Please don’t tell anyone,” he said, squeezing her arm.

“Don’t worry. I haven’t even told D that
I
like Zach. He’ll lose his shit if he finds out. You should’ve heard the way he was going on about him all weekend. I won’t say anything, but if that boy is straight, he’s
mine
, you got it?”

He nodded. And if he wasn’t…?

L
UCAS
dreaded going to English. He didn’t want to face Donovan
or
Zach. Even worse, he didn’t want to read his poem in class. He hoped Mr. Rose wouldn’t call on him. He hadn’t set out to write something so personal, but deep down, he wanted to write about his dream lover the way Zach had. So that’s what came out. Thinking about it now, he knew it was a mistake. No one made fun of Zach for writing something sensitive or romantic, but Lucas could never get away with it.

He took his seat and kept his eyes down. Mr. Rose began talking immediately after the bell. “As you know, we’ll be sharing our final poetry assignment today. You had the option of using any one of the poetic devices we’ve studied thus far. When you come up to share, I’d like you to briefly describe your chosen device so we know what to listen for. Then recite your poem. Who wants to go first?”

Lucas’s chest tightened. Poetry or no poetry, he always got nervous when he had to speak in front of other people. He mentally kicked himself for writing something so emotional. Why hadn’t he written a haiku about a tree or something?

“No volunteers?” Mr. Rose said. “Oh, come on. The great thing about poetry is that you can pretty much write anything you want, and no one can tell you you’re wrong.”

“Does that mean everyone gets an A?” Lisa asked.

“Afraid not. I’ll be judging you on how well you’ve applied your chosen poetic device. We’ll start with volunteers, and then I’ll call on people randomly.”

A few students volunteered. Lucas tried to remain calm and pay attention, but his mind wandered. What would Zach think? What would Donovan think? Would everyone laugh at him?

“Lucas?” Mr. Rose said, interrupting his thoughts. “You’re up.”

Lucas swallowed, then hesitantly made his way to the front of the class. “I used personification,” he said, focusing on Mr. Rose.

“A little louder please,” his teacher said.

“Um, that’s when you take an inanimate object and give it human qualities. The title of my poem is ‘The Pillow’.”

Lucas paused and glanced around the room. Everyone stared. Only Zach smiled, but it gave him the boost of confidence he needed. Keeping his eyes on his paper, he recited his poem:

“The Pillow

Here I am to cushion your fears,

to ease your pain, to soak up your tears,

to hug you close throughout the years,

to whisper magic in your ears,

to love you.”

There were a few snickers, but no one other than Mr. Rose made any comments. “Very nice, Lucas. Thank you.”

Then Donovan’s hand shot up. “Can I go next, Mr. Rose?”

“Yes, Donovan, go ahead.”

Donovan grinned. “I wrote a limerick,” he said, and several kids laughed. “A limerick is a humorous poem that often contains lewd content.”

More laughter.

“Donovan?” Mr. Rose said, caution in his voice.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Rose. It’s tame. Okay, so continuing on, a limerick has a rhyme scheme of aabba, and uses amphibrachic meter with nine, nine, six, six, and nine syllables. My poem is called ‘Lucy’s Limerick’.”

Lucas felt his face heat up, and he fixed his eyes on the floor.

Donovan continued. “There once was a good girl named Lucy.”

The class erupted in laughter. Lucas didn’t dare look up, but he could feel the eyes on him.

Donovan paused, waiting for the noise to die down. Then he cleared his throat and started again:

“There once was a good girl named Lucy.

Sad and lonely, she wept profusely.

She rejected the boys

who liked playing with toys.

And that’s how she cooked her own goosey.”

The class cheered as Donovan took his seat. Even Mr. Rose laughed. Lucas was fairly certain Mr. Rose hadn’t gotten the reference or understood the poem’s intended meaning, but Lucas knew most of the class did. He prayed for the floor to open up and swallow him whole. What did Donovan mean when he said he’d “cooked his own goose”? Was it a threat? Why did Donovan hate him so much?

His thoughts were interrupted when Zach volunteered to go next.

“I wrote in free verse,” he said, “with a rhyme scheme of abcb. My poetic device is imagery, which uses language to describe sensory experiences. The poem is tentatively titled ‘Dreaming of You’.”

Lucas looked up, and for a moment, their eyes met. Then Zach looked down and read from his paper.

“I gaze into your eyes

Lost in time, lost in place.

I’m lifted by the smile

Of your angelic face.

My gentle fingers brush

Your tender, waiting skin.

You’re so near, I close my

Eyes and breathe you in.

You’re pulsing through my veins;

I wallow in the stream.

I linger in the feeling,

Suspended in a dream.”

Lucas’s heart pounded. Another beautiful poem. Oh how he wanted to live in that dream. Zach’s lack of gender specific pronouns was maddening. It sounded like he was talking about a girl, but was he talking about Lucas? Or was that wishful thinking? He didn’t hear another word of another poem for the rest of class. His mind was completely lost on thoughts of Zach.

T
HOUGH
he was tempted to skip the pool again, Lucas decided to brave the waters. Zach had said Lucas was his lucky charm. Would he notice him?

Lucas took his usual seat and pulled out a book to read. He needed an excuse to keep from looking at Zach. He couldn’t resist stealing a few glances, though, and his heart fluttered each time he did. Zach seemed too focused to notice. He didn’t look in Lucas’s direction, even at the end of practice on his way to the locker room. Lucas sighed and stuffed his book in his bag.

Zach was the first to emerge from the locker room, and instead of heading for the exit, he walked over to the bleachers
.
“You’re back,” he said with a smile. “Was it my eloquent way with words that persuaded you?”

Was Zach teasing him?

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Lucas snapped back.

“Ouch.” Zach shook his head. “You know, snarky doesn’t really suit you.”

Zach was right. Lucas felt awful as soon as he’d said it. Why was he so bad at making conversation? “You know, if Mason sees you talking to me, he might spontaneously combust.”

“Really? It must be comforting having a protector to ward off dubious suitors.”

Lucas let out a belly laugh. The idea that Mason felt protective of him was absurd. The idea that Zach was a suitor was even more absurd.

“Uh… I’m not really sure what’s so funny,” Zach said, “but it’s nice to see you smile.”

Lucas saw Mason approaching and tried to regain his composure, but as soon as he caught sight of his brother’s scowl, Lucas broke out into a new fit of laughter.

“What’s so damn funny?” Mason said, looking back and forth between them.

“Heck if I know,” Zach said.

Mason crossed his arms. “Can we go?”

“Sorry to hold you up. See ya, Lucas. Bye, Mason.”

Mason was quiet on the way to the car, but it was obvious he had something on his mind. Lucas braced himself for another one of Mason’s verbal attacks as he started the engine.

“You better not be hitting on any of the guys on the team,” Mason said.

“What if he was hitting on me?”

“In your dreams.”

Lucas sighed.

“Seriously. What are you doing talking to Zach?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he likes me.”

“What the fuck would he like you for? Even if he
was
gay, which I seriously doubt, he can’t be
that
desperate.”

Lucas lost his temper, pulling the car over and stopping abruptly. “What is your problem? Why do you hate me so much?”

Mason turned away and looked out his window.

Neither of them spoke for several minutes as the tension in the air continued to mount. Lucas stood his ground and waited for an answer.

“I don’t hate you,” Mason finally said in a soft voice. “I hate the way people look at you.” He paused and then said, “And I hate the way I know they’d look at me if I stuck up for you.”

It was the most honest Mason had ever been with him and, in a twisted sort of way, the kindest.

Lucas sighed. “I know. And I’m sorry for whatever stuff you have to put up with because of me, but I can assure you, whatever that is, I have it worse.”

“I know you do,” Mason said quietly.

Lucas pulled back into traffic and continued on toward home.

After a few minutes his brother said, “Zach’s a nice guy. You could do worse.”

L
UCAS
had just settled in to practice a new piece of music when he felt his phone buzz.

Alex:
where r u?

Lucas:
the music room

Alex:
u eat lunch in the music room?

Lucas:
…

Alex:
brt

Why was Alex coming to see him? He hoped he was coming alone. Mrs. Davidson was nice enough to let him use the music room during lunch, but he didn’t know if she’d want other students in there.

“Hey, you,” Alex said as he entered the room.

“Hi.”

“Do you always come here for lunch?”

“Yeah. I don’t have a piano at home, so I use the time to play.”

“You could practice after school, yeah?”

“There’s a lot of people here after school. I like it when it’s quiet. Just me and the music.”

That was an excuse. The truth was that no one in the cafeteria wanted to sit at a table with him. It was another painful reminder that he didn’t fit in. Luckily, he had the music room for refuge. Mrs. Davidson was sometimes present, but more often than not, he had the room to himself.

“That’s cool.” Alex leaned over the piano, resting his weight on his forearms. “So,” he said and then paused. “Something just happened that I thought you should know about.”

Lucas braced himself for bad news.

“Your guy just tried to hit on me. You need to forget about that jerk. I would’ve decked him, but I know how much Trish likes him.”

Lucas momentarily panicked. “Who are you talking about?”

“Donovan.” Alex wrinkled his brow. “Who did you think I was talking about?”

“He’s not my guy,” Lucas said quickly.

“No? I thought you two were—”

“Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say the P-word!”

Alex grinned. “If Peter Pecker picked a pack of pecker partners, how many pecker partners would Peter Pecker pick?”

“That’s so wrong,” Lucas said, giggling.

“A pack of peckers could keep your tongue twisted for days, don’t you think?”

“Stop! Mother Goose is probably rolling in her grave right now.”

“Oh, come on. Mother Goose was an old lady. I’m sure she’d be titillated,” he said. “Seriously, though, what happened with Donovan? I thought you two were going out.”

Lucas sighed. “He doesn’t like me. I should have realized it from the beginning. I mean, he wasn’t that nice to me, and he was never affectionate or anything. Or maybe that stuff’s just for girls, I don’t know.”

“No way. Guys like cuddles too, you know.”

“You like cuddling?” Lucas said.

“Yeah, with the right person. If I were your boyfriend, I’d hold your hand all the time. Well, until it got clammy and you made me let go.” He chuckled. “And I’d cover you with sweet kisses every chance I got, in front of everyone, so the world would know you were mine.”

Lucas frowned. He’d never have a boyfriend like that.

“And I’d give you piggyback rides to all your classes.”

Lucas laughed and shook his head in protest. “You would not.”

“I totally would,” Alex said. Then his face grew serious. “I wish I could be that person for you, Lucas, but I can’t. You’ll find someone like that. I know you will. You deserve it.”

Lucas teared up. He wanted that so badly.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Lucas shook his head. “No, I’m fine. I just wish I had your confidence. I don’t know if I can put myself out there again.”

“Of course you can. Not all guys are like Donovan, you know. Next time you meet someone, do yourself a favor and run his name by me first. I’ll help you weed out the losers. Deal?”

Lucas nodded and made a failed attempt at a smile. After a moment he said, “What do you think of Zach Teagan?”