Plastic Confidence (Good Bye Trilogy #1) (22 page)

EPILOGUE

FALL 2014

VANCOUVER

JULES

I watched my two nieces’ faces as they watched me shimmy into my A-lined wedding gown made especially by some Italian designer my mother said I needed to call. It was gorgeous. It fit all of my curves perfectly and the low dip in the front would give Brennan a little eye candy for later.

I decided to marry him in Vancouver because Kent’s land was beautiful and we wanted to get off the island in the fall. It would draw to much attention to the island and we loved everyone there, even Stephanie, the jeweler that clearly had a thing for my fiancé.

Brennan had picked the Justice of the Peace. I asked Kent to give me away. Joanie and Kelly were there with bells on.
Literally
. I made them wear light plum dresses and they were sporting bells on their heels. It was fitting for the lesbians that they were. They were both my maids of honor and when I asked them, they shut down the business for a much needed vacation to the Pacific Coast. They were going to head out to Astoria, Oregon after our party. They were so excited that I think they would have worn a garbage bag if I had asked.

Brennan and I chose Hawaii for our honeymoon since we were on this side of the States. We looked forward to a full month of sunning, sexing, and eating.

My mother and Kent walked into his bedroom.

“It looks like everyone is ready for us,” Kent said handsomely in his tuxedo. “Brennan can’t wipe the shit eating grin off his face.”

I swear there was something up with him since we got here yesterday. He was acting overly jubilant. It was nice and I was happy too but he was a little over the top and when I mentally questioned him, he would just kiss my ring finger.

Joanie handed me my bouquet of red roses and I took my brother’s arm. We walked out to a beautiful
lawn made into a white and red glorious wedding scene. There were maybe twenty people there. His parents were there but not together. I had met them and their respective spouses during the summer when Brennan invited them out.

Both were a little
wary at first but after I cooked and tried like hell to appear halfway normal, they grew to like me. His mom had told me last night that she was happy to gain a new daughter. I beamed at Brennan as he looked shocked. I think his parents were unhappy when he had gotten divorced.

Everyone saw the love we had for each other, especially as I walked down the aisle to him. He was crying when I got to him. With a quivering lip, he thanked Kent and took my hand.
He leaned in and whispered, “You look like a gorgeous angel.”

So then I started to cry. That is when I saw our heavily tattooed justice of the peace. Yes, he was in a suit but it probably was the only one he owned. The guy was clearly a tattoo artist. How Brennan decided on him was beyond me. Luckily it was a short and sweet ceremony. When it came to exchange the rings, Brennan started laughing.

“Who wants to go first?” the tattooed guy asked.

“Um.
I don’t have your ring, Brennan. Shit. Did we even buy rings?”

Everyone was a little confused then
and they probably couldn’t hear our muffled conversation. I felt like such an asshole in that moment. How did we overlook that very important detail?

“Then you should go first,” Brennan said as tattoo guy took the backdrop sheet down to show a tattoo space set up.
What. The. Fuck.

“What is going on?” I asked with clear alarm in my voice.

“You are going to accept my ring. My inked one,” he said. All humor had left his face. He knew I didn’t do tattoos. I heard people start talking as they started to understand what was happening. Brennan’s expression pleaded with me to make this the one and only time to get ink.

I exhaled loudly and went to sit. Within fifteen minutes, I had an Irish Celtic Knot tattooed around my left ring finger. It hurt like a mother fucker but Brennan kept me busy
by kissing my other hand and feeling up my thigh. Brennan’s tattoo was done a little faster and he didn’t even blink as the needle scraped through his skin.

We both held up our antibacterial ointment covered fingers to the crowd as the tattooed guy announced us
Mr. and Mrs. Brennan Curtis. Our kiss was beautiful. The applause was startling. I still wasn’t used to hearing that sound again. Flashes went off over and over. He and I made our way to the other part of the lawn to take our first dance.

We had decided on
I’ve Been Loving You
by Otis Redding. It was so fitting. We sang it to each other and when it was over, we made sure to top it off with yet another panty dropping kiss. I couldn’t wait to get him alone. Everyone else fell away and that day, as I became Mrs. Brennan Curtis, I had hope for a beautiful life ahead.

I felt the aching from my finger but it was a small pain to notice after a day like today. Everything was perfect. That night as we
lay in bed after mind numbing sex, I gave him my wedding present.

He jumped up like a little kid to get his. I frowned at him.

“Mine isn’t wrapped,” I said.

“
Baby, you know that is okay, just give it to me,” he said with a soft tone on my bare neck.

“Well, there you have it. You gave it to me and yes
, it is a baby,” I said just as soft back to him.

He stilled and then his curious eyes lifted to find my smile.

“A baby? We are having a baby?” he asked in surprise. His head dipped to look at my stomach which hadn’t grown yet. I was only six weeks along but I was pregnant. I felt it. Hunger cravings and a bit bitchy. Brennan just thought I was stressed about the wedding. No one even noticed when I didn’t take a real sip from the champagne today.

I nodded and
claimed, “Get ready, Daddy. Loves is going to be jealous when he realizes he will have to share your time with your child.”

Brennan crawled on top of me and then jumped off, worried that he was going to hurt me. I laughed and tugged him back on top of me.

“Totally isolated, honey. You can’t hurt the baby.” I smiled. He was
already
such a great dad. He would be the father I always wanted for myself. It was going to be amazing to be a witness to Brennan and his child.

He was also so protective of me. When he told me about the possible camera flashes and his unease about someone following us, we had a state of the art camera and security system installed. Since then there hadn’t been any more instances of Pierre
–like activity and I didn’t mind signing a statement to the police that Johnny Lennox was stalking me. I imagined he received the notice to stop or he would get a restraining order from me. There had been radio silence from the lawyers and from the police. We lived out the rest of the summer in engagement harmony.

“Well, this isn’t as
exhilarating but I hope you like it,” he said as he grasped the wrapped box and handed it to me.

I
shredded open the paper to find a book. I rotated it over and over until it hit me what it was.

“Losing Grace” By
Julia Curtis donned the cover.

“This is my
... Brennan what is this?” I probed. I was astounded as I considered at the cover of my book.
My
book. Holy shit. It was unbelievable.

“I stole your manuscript in August when you said you were done. I had it edited and then I published it. I did the cover graphics myself after I read it. It is a beautiful story,
Julia.”

It was a
pretty solid story. After talking to my brother about visiting Grace’s father in prison, I also requested to see him. Brennan went with me because I was more than mortified to actually sit across from a murderer. He was a rapist. He is the rapist of a little girl. It was horrific to go but I knew it was only for research and maybe some closure to that time period in my life.

I was able to watch his body movements, his eccentricities, and anything that said that he was clearly someone to distrust. Besides his sudden urge for turrets when speaking about Grace, he a
ppeared to be a normal person if he got a haircut and got rid of the orange prison jumpsuit.

I also got in touch with
Emily and Angela’s parents to get current information on my old childhood friends. When I spoke with Angie’s dad, he had said that she had moved to a small town in the mountains of Colorado and she didn’t have a phone. He also commented that she was not connected to the internet. I got the impression that she was isolated. When I spoke with Emily’s parents, they were just as enthusiastic about Emily as they ever were. She was living right outside of Boston with her new husband. They gladly gave me her phone number.

“Hi Emily?
This is Jules Delaney. I don’t know if you remember me... ” I started before Emily cut me off.

“Oh, wow!
Jules Delaney from the Love Sick Ponies. My husband, Michael would call me crazy. He is a big time lawyer, and oh my gosh, he loves your music. I can’t wait to tell him you called,” she boasted. I didn’t correct her that I was no longer with the band.

My
conversation with Emily was ninety five percent about her new husband and the other five percent was about how she hardly remembered the whole situation with Grace.

Both were dead ends but I was
pleased with myself that I had tried. Brennan and I researched for two full weeks and were able to come up with enough information to call it a fictional novel based on true events. He was a huge help with his knowledge of information research. I was extremely surprised that he never was able to find me with everything he knew. I sat in my office for ten days straight and wrote. Brennan was respectful of my space at first but after three days, he came in to rock my world on my desk and then we went back to our day.
Horn dog.

I looked at the dedication page and all it said was, “For my sexy ass husband, Brennan” and I laughed out loud.
He grabbed a pen from the bed side table.

“Sign it for me?” he asked. I
was still laughing and slapped
my
book on his shoulder. “Sign it, sweetheart. As Julia Curtis. First one is for me.” The pride I saw in his face was amazing. I loved him so much.

Tears were falling from my eyes as Brennan gave me room to open the front cover and sign my new name on the title page.
I flipped through the pages and after all that had happened today, I started to bawl.

“What is it? What’s wrong? Did I fuck up?” Brennan asked
sincerely concerned.

I shook my head.

“You and I are going to be so unbelievable as parents, lovers, and partners in life. I am so damn proud to call you my husband. Thank you for loving me through all of this. We went through so much and I guess I am just so thankful that we are finally here.”

Brennan rubbed the back of his hand on my cheek, wiping away some tears. He slowly bent down and kissed my belly and then kissed the book.

“I am so proud of you, Julia. You are the woman that all women strive to be. Don’t ever change, my love. I love all of you.” He smirked with a knowing look. Yes, I still had my moments.

I knew he did. I believed him because I loved myself. I liked the woman I had become and I was proud of the work I had done to get what I deserved in life. No one could ever take that away from me.

Ever since I was twelve, and probably even before that, I always lived my life for the attention of others. I lost friends, I disgraced my body, and I hurt so many people including myself. Being the typical rock star was right in line with my persona. Tear the place and people up and move on to the next party. Every rock star knows that you get your one two hour set. The other twenty two hours? Yeah, people don’t often get that part.

S
ince I met Brennan, the ultimate love of my life, all of those memories and disgraces caught up with me and slowly I became a person with depth. A human being that cares, that thinks of others, and who would rather feel the pain than numb it out with pills or sex. Today I realized that I was not only surrounded by family and friends that I loved but people who have never tried or succeeded in purposely hurting me or my reputation. Brennan showed me that I needed to change parts of me that would eventually kill me. He did it in a really fucked up way but we did eventually turn a shit ass situation totally around to make it into something pure and untouchable from others. No one could get between Bren and me anymore. We were solid as a rock. There was
nothing
plastic about us.

Slowly, my confidence molded into pure gold and in so many ways, I am appreciative of my path. It was what I went through
that got me to the place I am now. Sure, I wish there were a few situations I could change. I would have called Emmy and Angie after that fateful day when we were twelve. I would have tried to remain friends. I wouldn’t have said yes to Johnny when he proposed, knowing that deep down I really didn’t feel the burning feelings I had felt for Brennan. Last, but not certainly not least, I would have called Brennan the moment I realized that I wanted, not needed, him in my life again. I wouldn’t have left it to fate to bring us back together. I would have taken the high road and spoken up for what and who I believed in.