Place Of Her Own (3 page)

But in moments like these, when her mind traveled over the darkness of the past, she found it hard to believe God had truly forgiven her. She knew it in her head. She knew it from His Holy Word. And there were moments when she knew it in her heart. But this was not one of those times.

“Kate?” Shelton called softly.

“Please,” she moaned. “Just go away.”

After several moments, she heard muffled footsteps fading away down the hall.

Katherine curled into a fetal position on the floor, not having the strength to climb back into her bed, and cried herself to exhaustion.

During his first two weeks in Jamestown, Shelton performed many odd jobs at the various farms in the area, but still hadn’t found full-time employment. Urias had helped in every way he could, including setting up a temporary room for him in the barn. But it seemed Shelton’s best bet was to move to Creelsboro to try to work for one of the companies helping folks go west, or to work for Crockett’s paper mill.

The tension between him and Kate had been constant. He wanted to get to know her as a woman, but she avoided him. She spoke in his presence only when others were around, and she hid in her room most of the time. One thing seemed certain: He couldn’t be the right man for her when she was terrified of him. He had his answer.

He gathered his sparse belongings and began to pack his saddlebags. A move to Creelsboro would give Kate back the freedom to move around in her own house.

The barn door creaked. Shelton blinked at the sudden stream of light. Kate’s silhouette paused, then she walked into the barn. After glancing over her shoulder, she closed the door behind her. She sneaked over to the farthest horse pen and pushed the hay from the wall, exposing the floorboards.

Again she paused and looked around. Shelton knew he should make a noise and let her know he was there, but he held his breath instead. What could she be doing?

Kate lifted a floorboard and pulled something out. He couldn’t see from his angle what it was. Obviously she was hiding something, but what? And why?

She returned the item and secured the board and hay back in place.

He slipped out of the shadows. “Kate.” A startled yelp escaped her lips. Her eyes widened with fear.

He grabbed her arms. “I’m not going to hurt you.” She trembled from his touch.

He released his grip. “I’m sorry. I only wanted to speak with you, to apologize for the time at my father’s house. I acted foolishly. I was sixteen and so in love with you I couldn’t think straight. I should never have forced you to kiss me. That was wrong.”

She nodded but kept her eyes averted. “Kate, please speak to me. I’m leaving today.” Her gaze shot up to his. “Leaving?”

“Yes. I can’t stay here and have you afraid all the time. It isn’t right. This is your home. You should not live in fear of me.”

Kate seemed to lose her footing and stumbled to the left. Instinctively, he reached out and caught her by the elbow. She stared at her feet once again.

“Please stop looking down. You’re not a servant, and I don’t like seeing you behave like this.”

“Why?”

Indeed, why did it bother him so much? Oh, he knew in part it was because of his feelings for her in the past. But it went beyond that. A horrible injustice had happened to her. “I want to be your friend, Kate.”

“Katherine,” she corrected.

“Katherine,” he repeated. “It suits you better.”

“Kate’s my bondage name.” She squared her shoulders and stared straight at him.

“Then I’ll try to never call you that again.”

A slight smile crept up her cheek for the briefest of moments, then was gone as quickly as it had appeared. She gazed at the floor. “You shouldn’t leave because of me.”

“I just want us to be friends.” With every ounce of willpower he could muster, Shelton held his hands at his side rather than lift her delicate chin. “I saw you put something under the floorboards.”

She raised her head.

“What are you hiding? If you don’t mind telling me.”

“I do.” She marched to the spot where she had been, opened her secret hiding place, and removed a small wooden box. “Now I’ll have to put it somewhere else.”

Shelton saw fire in this woman, despite her past. A fierce determination. His desire to get to know her grew. “You don’t have to. I promise I won’t touch it.”

She eyed him for a long moment. “It’s not really a secret. Urias made the box for me.”

So why bury it?
he wanted to ask, but refrained from doing so.

She traced some sort of carving on the top of the box with her finger. “I could keep this in my room, I suppose, but the boys get into everything.”

Shelton chuckled. “That they do. I was always into something when I was a boy. Prudence squealed on me more times than I can remember.”

She placed the box back under the floorboard. Then she stood and took a step closer to him, but kept herself at least eight feet away and did not make eye contact. “Why are you here?”

“
Two reasons—and one of them is you
,” he yearned to say. “Father lost a lot of money gambling. I thought breeding horses here might provide enough income to support my folks and myself. I have to do what I can to help them.”

She snatched a quick glimpse of him, but quickly averted her gaze again. “Why? Shouldn’t your father pay for what he’s done?” Her voice quivered.

“Perhaps. But Mother is innocent. Even though I’m not proud of Father’s gambling, I won’t let my mother suffer if I can help it.”

I don’t know how I can provide for her, but I’m going to do it, somehow, with God’s grace.
He fought down his anger by picking up his horse brush and running it down Kehoe’s neck.

“You always did like spending time with the horses.”

The realization that she had noticed something personal about him brought a sweet pleasure that strengthened his resolve. “Kehoe is good stock and should sire quite a few champion horses if he’s bred with the right mare. I can’t wait until …” He hesitated, not wanting to reveal that he’d named his horse Kate. “…until my mare delivers.” He leaned back on his heels. “Katherine, I—”

A blood-curdling scream came from the house.

Katherine raced toward the house. Shelton passed her and leapt to the top of the porch without touching the three stairs. The front door banged against the wall as he rushed inside. The blood pounded in her ears as she lifted her skirts higher to run faster.

Inside the house she found the family in the living room. Prudence pressed little Elizabeth close to her chest. Shelton had a small blanket wrapped around his right hand. On the floor stood a wild raccoon on its hind legs, clawing at Shelton.

“Get everyone out of the house,” he ordered. “Go to Mac and Pamela’s.”

Katherine glanced at the gun rack over the fireplace mantle. The rack was empty. She sighed. Urias and Mac were out hunting for venison. Katherine scanned the room for the boys, then remembered they had gone to Grandma Mac’s an hour earlier.

Shelton grabbed the fireplace broom and blocked the critter’s path to Prudence. “Get out of here,” he ordered through clenched teeth.

The two women slowly backed up the few paces to the open doorway, then ran toward the MacKenneths’ farmhouse. Tears streamed down Prudence’s face.

“Are you all right?” Katherine asked, not slowing her pace. “Is Elizabeth okay?”

Prudence sniffled. “We’re fine. Just terrified.”

Katherine knew she should be frightened as well. Men couldn’t come within a couple of feet of her before fear washed over her. A crazed animal in the house should cause a far worse panic. Instead, she wanted to fight the small beast, take charge, and rid the house of the problem.

She stopped. “I’m going back. Shelton must have a rifle in the barn.”

Prudence stopped and faced Katherine. “You take Elizabeth. I’ll go help Shelton.”

“No. Your baby needs you. I could never live with myself if something happened to you. I’m certain the animal has rabies.”

“I’ve handled a rifle. Urias taught me to shoot.”

A memory from the past floated through Katherine’s mind, of a time before Urias left home, a time when they were a family. “Poppa taught me to shoot, too.”

Prudence took in a deep breath and released it slowly. “All right. But take careful aim. I’d like my brother to grow old and gray.”

Katherine ran past the house and straight into the barn. She rummaged through Shelton’s belongings and found his rifle. Lifting it, she discovered it was much heavier than the one her father had shown her so many years before. It also had two barrels. Could she shoot this and not hit Shelton? Fear slithered through her body. Her breathing became more ragged. She closed her eyes and slowly inhaled. She couldn’t let fear control her now, as it had so often in her life.

She reached for the lead bullets and powder, loaded the two barrels, and marched toward the house. The sheer weight of the gun forced her to carry it with both hands. How could she possibly fire it?

The angry growls of the sick creature cut through the air.

Katherine quickened her pace and lifted the rifle as she crossed the open threshold.

Shelton pivoted around to see who had entered the house. The wild animal lashed out and bit him on the leg.

She aimed the rifle but did not have a clear shot of the raccoon. Shelton kicked, forcing the animal to let go, but it bit down again. He whacked the broom handle across the raccoon’s head.

Dazed, the creature fell to the floor. Katherine aimed and pulled the trigger. A clean shot perforated the raccoon with lead balls.

Shelton cried out in pain and leaned against the wall. “Take your pants off,” Katherine ordered. “We must clean that wound.”

Shelton reached for his belt buckle but thought better of it. “Give me that knife.” He pointed to the large carving knife hanging on the side of the kitchen cabinet.

Kate placed the gun on the table and hurried to the cabinet.

Shelton gritted his teeth against the excruciating pain.

“The animal looks rabid,” Katherine said as she handed him the knife.

He glanced at the heap of fur and fangs. Foam dripped from the creature’s jowls, leaving no doubt as to its condition. The question was, could he survive this attack? “Boil some water,” he ordered.

Kate’s back stiffened. He’d done it again, made her feel like a servant. “Please,” he amended.

Kate nodded and did as he’d requested.

Setting the tip of the blade against the outer seam of his pants, he ripped the material from the knee down. Blood poured out of a deep wound. One of his arteries must have been punctured.

He watched Katherine fill the lower front part of the step-up cast-iron stove with kindling. He opened his mouth to tell her to add more for a quicker blaze, but promptly closed it. Kate would know her way around a stove.

Shelton didn’t like seeing this side of himself. Had he always been this insensitive to others? Had he looked down on people stationed in a lower social class than his own? Was he as guilty as his father of treating Kate like a servant?

A fresh wave of pain coursed through his body. He let out an audible groan.

Katherine turned and ran toward him.

Shelton blinked. The room began to spin. He slowly closed and opened his eyes, trying to focus.

“Sit down,” Kate ordered. Authority oozed from her command. He’d never seen her like this. He followed her order.

“Place your injured leg on this chair.” Kate pulled his flapping pant leg away from his skin. She leaned closer to the wound. “It’s deep and nasty. You might need some stitches. That coon must have twisted back and forth once he got his teeth into you.”

“It felt like it.”

“I’m going to get some cloths to wash the wound.” She started to leave.

“Don’t touch it, Katherine. I don’t want you getting sick.”

A slight turn of her delicate pink lips made him aware that she was pleased about his concern for her.
Perhaps there is a chance for us to develop a relationship after all.
Then again, how many days did he have left? The mortality rate from rabies didn’t give a man a lot of hope.
Please, God, if we’re to be together …
Wasn’t that the real question? Were they meant to be together? Apart from this momentary act of kindness, Kate was still terrified of him.